Britney Spears Archives - Page 34 of 34 Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

2007

14

May

I am – Britney Spears Staged Performing Pictures of the Day…

I posted THESE pictures of Britney performing in Vegas that were taken from some dude’s camera phone. I came across these better quality pictures that I think are staged and taken by a professional to look like shitty quality pictures that were leaked to the internet, because fucking with the media and tricking the general population into thinking some intentional out of focus picture was taken by a crazed fan when bitch was performing, when in reality she’s posing before the show as a publicity stunt.

I don’t generally mistrust the media and think I am being lied to and that I should start a site to out the lies, but I do know that I had a girl who reads the site go to the show and bitch was so scrubbed down by security that I think she had an orgasm. I’m talking no phones, cameras or pad and paper to do artist renditions of the show….

Either way, I’ll post them anyway because after all that’s happened to Britney, I think she deserves the extra coverage, even if it’s just for 10 assholes like you, I am still doing my part….

Posted in:Britney Spears|Performing|Slut|Unsorted

2007

11

May

I am – Britney Spears Dressed Like a Porno Clown of the Day

1 Comment »

Britney was spotted out in LA with some chick who she probably is paying to be her friend dressed like a clown I want to fuck. I don’t know much about fashion, I wear fucking soiled clothes that smell like my ass and I haven’t really bought anything in the last 10 years it’s all been stuff my wife accumulates because I have pretty much given up but I do know that Von Dutch trucker hats have been out of style for at least 3 years. I remember a time when every cunt and his sister had one of these fuckers and it used to really piss me the fuck off. The idiots who paid the 50 – 100 dollars for the stupid things, didn’t realize that trucker hats are the cheapest hats out there and the ones I used to wear never cost me more than 50 cents. Unfortunately, those same fuckers have since realized that because I used to like using the hat as a warning sign of who to stay as fuck away from for being a cunt or who to try to hit up for some spare change because they were obviously fucking assholes when it came to their finances…

If you’re wondering why I want to bang her, it’s because busting all over her bald head would be funny, the bruised legs and high socks and short shorts remind me of 70s porn and the glasses remind me of a rich Jewish grandmother who’s about to die and leave me her millions of dollars in my very own trust fund…which banging Britney pretty much is if you get her load dropped in the right place but the whole decision making process of whether to hit her head or bank account through her womb would be too much to handle, thank god I am impotent and don’t have to make these decisions….and her fucking towel reminding us all that bitch is fucking crazy as she grasps her friends hand to guide her through the streets because she is so jacked on meds she doesn’t know where she is.

That’s pretty much all I have to say about that….

Posted in:Britney Spears|Shorts|Socks|Unsorted

2007

08

May

I am – Britney Spears Comeback Tour in Vegas Pics of the Day

1 Comment »

These are some shitty cellphone pics of Britney Spears lip syncing in Vegas as part of her attempt at a comeback, the show may have been a rip off and she may be insane now, but she’s still Britney Spears and at least she’s showing off her ass to distract us all from how lame this attempt to climb out of the gutter and back to the top of her game is.

I am costantly attacked by feminists, telling me how what I do is comparable to racism and that I am leading a horrible example to the 20 people who read the site, and I guess saying that at least Britney is showing us her ass fall into that category of objectifying women.

Reality is, I am not the motherfucker on stage showing the world my fucking ass, and if I was, I’d expect someone to comment on how fat it is. I have spent a lifetime trying to seduce girls and not being rich enough, or goodlooking enough, forcing me to end up with someone no one wanted, not even me, but the comfort of having someone there to care was enough for me to do it. You don’t see me sitting here hating on all the hot chicks for not wanting me, or thinking I was scum, in all reality, I am here begging for them to send me nudes.

So, what it all comes down to, is that I just want to have a good time, maybe have a few laughs, and talk a whole lot of shit about nothing important. If you are one to take my words for gospel and either take it home with you to throw at your own fat wife that you settled with, or who got fat after she hooked you in and was too tired to keep herself pretty, or if you are sitting there getting offended by what I have to say, all you have to do is click on the back button in your browser and leave your rants to your fucking self, because people that are that uptight, are people I don’t want to invite to my birthday party or to my comeback show at a shitty small venue….and if you motherfuckers decide to show up with camera phone pics, and decide to write slandering remarks about me, I am not going to cry about it and write a thesis for my gender studies class on how hard people are on me for having a cock.

2007

30

Apr

I am – Britney Spears Ass Crack or Something of the Day

1 Comment »

Britney is pushing this comeback harder than she pushed her kids out of her womb, which isn’t saying much because she got 2 C-Sections, but you know what I mean. She’s calling the media and letting them know where she’ll be, she’s going to some dance studio trying to be all like Stella and trying to get her grove back and she’s doing in in fishnets, booty shorts, and a bra. I am not really complaining because she looks like most strippers I watch strip and I have a thing for watching strippers strip, even though the whole strip club scene is pretty dull to me. I am not saying that I don’t like watching girls get naked, but when I start talking to them and have to hear stories of how some of their clients take them out on dates and buy them expensive thing, or how they spent the last 4 nights high on E in some lavish hotel room with those clients, I am reminded that they are all a bunch of whores. I like going into the shit thinking they are just teenage mother’s who have deadbeat baby daddies, or that they are exhibitionists who get turned on by dancing for a room full of men, or that they are in med school trying to pay their way, when the reality of it is that they are just whores who like Gucci.

The only real reason that pisses me off is because the strippers I see in action aren’t even that hot. They have tits that anyone with a credit card could have, but walk around like they are fucking Britney Spears and are doing me some kind of favor by offering to let me touch their tits for 10 fucking dollars. Don’t think I am going soft on you here, I am just encouraging you to no fall for their game and when you have enough money in your bank, ask them how much for a blowjob, because when you take stripping to prostitution, you’re pretty much a success in my mind, and I am really the only person you should want to impress. Send pics, asshole. Cuddles.

Posted in:Britney Spears|Unsorted

2007

19

Apr

I am – Britney Spears Likes to Dance of the Day

1 Comment »

I am all about bitches in dancing gear, I guess that’s why I used to sit inside American Apparel watching girls try on leotards until the fuckers caught on to what I was doing there. What they didn’t know was that I used to go to dance schools and sit in watching the 17 year old girls bend all kinds of ways in their little leotards like I was researching which school to send my stepdaughters to, until I overstayed my welcome after 4 hours a day for 3 days straight, saying I was being thorough didn’t really fly. I guess there was also the time that I’d hit up every dance recital until I was known in the local dance community, I told them I was a classically trained dancer but due to injury had to retire but could never retire my love for the art, but that didn’t last too long, when they invited me to perform for their school and I pretty much embarrassed the fuck out of myself, kinda like Britney has been doing the last 2 years of her life.

I like to think that connects us on so many fucking levels and not only on the slutty dance outfit and ripped fishnets with her ass hanging out to make me smile one. Cuddles.

Posted in:Britney Spears|Unsorted

2007

17

Apr

I am – Britney Spears Upskirt of the Day

13 Comments »

There’s nothing more exciting than seeing a crazy girl who has had 2 babies flashing her panties. Actually, that is a lie, there are a lot of things more exciting that that, but I can’t seem to find them now. Britney’s been getting shit on pretty hard by everyone for the whole being fucking insane but I am okay with it. I am more into a girl who has completely lost her mind because they are usually easy to seduce, not that I’d want to be alone with this psycho for fear of being stabbed, but there’s no harm in thinking about it…

I was talking about Britney earlier today with some homeless motherfucker who seems to think she’s fucked up. I think being called insane by a guy who smears his shit all over bus shelters every night at 4 am is probably a bad sign. I told him that this was a whole scheme for her comeback, but he seemed to think that her little girl fans were probably scared of her, before showing me pictures he had taken of his shitty bus shelter art. If he is right than seeing her slutting out on stage probably won’t happen unless that stage is in a mental institution and it’s for their Christmas pageant. Either way, I don’t care, as long as her demise involves lots of nudity, upskirts, sex tapes and throwing her feces at the paparazzi because feces is the theme of this post.

Posted in:Britney Spears|Unsorted

2006

10

Feb

Post-Pregnancy: Britney Tit

1 Comment »

I have said it before, I like to repeat myself, because I never remember who I said it to. It could have been on this site, but my archives got fucked in the move, unlike me, I never get fucked, and when I do, it’s by something you wouldn’t want to get fucked by and it’s really not by choice, but that’s no the point of this story. Pregnancy is the worse STD a bitch can get, I know all you anti-abortion jesus lovers are thinking “pregnancy is beautiful, it’s what keeps our religion alive”. But I come from a different school of thought and that is that kids follow you around for life, they mooch off you and cost you money, you have no control as to whether they are going to be cute or not, they never respect you and most importantly, they destroy your body, there’s no full recovery. I’m talking nothing ever fully whips back into shape, not the assaulted cooter, not the milk-bag feeding sack titties, not the belly or the ass…it may look like it does sometimes, but that’s just smoke and mirrors. Now, look at Britney’s nipple, the fucker is bigger than my head. You can’t tell me this shit’s sexy, in two years from now, she’ll write a memoir and in it, it will say “I wish K-Fed only gave me herpes, not herpes and a baby, ya’ll”. That’s my fucking story.

Posted in:Boob|Britney Spears|Pregnancy|Sex|Unsorted

2006

07

Feb

Britney's Parenting Techniques

No Comments »

This is all over the internet, I saw it on TV already, there’s really no point in me posting it because I have nothing interesting to say about it, but I generally don’t have anything interesting to say about much. I guess in Britney’s defense, I will say that my mother was a whore, as in a prostitute and not a whore as in I am a spoiled little rich kid and I hate my whore mother. Anyway, the point of the story is that she used to make me watch her get fucked by random men, I guess they were paying customers and she just wanted to show me what fucking is all about, I was lucky that the few times she did use condoms. She didn’t make me put them on for her, like her own personal condom applicator. I used to smoke cigarettes and drink booze with her when I was 5, and she was between jobs, she treated me like I was her useless slave and made me fist one of her friend’s in some on-stage performance. I think she made 10 dollars or something from it. I had no idea what I was doing at the time and in retrospect, one would find that a little disturbing, but I found it hot, and still do. We were in Mexico and we needed to eat.

All this to say, if driving with your kid on your lap is so bad, you should look at what your neighbors are doing to their kids behind closed doors and more importantly, Britney is rich, and nothing bad ever happens to the rich people.

Posted in:Britney Spears|kids|parent|Slut|Unsorted

2006

07

Feb

Britney’s Parenting Techniques

14 Comments »

This is all over the internet, I saw it on TV already, there’s really no point in me posting it because I have nothing interesting to say about it, but I generally don’t have anything interesting to say about much. I guess in Britney’s defense, I will say that my mother was a whore, as in a prostitute and not a whore as in I am a spoiled little rich kid and I hate my whore mother. Anyway, the point of the story is that she used to make me watch her get fucked by random men, I guess they were paying customers and she just wanted to show me what fucking is all about, I was lucky that the few times she did use condoms. She didn’t make me put them on for her, like her own personal condom applicator. I used to smoke cigarettes and drink booze with her when I was 5, and she was between jobs, she treated me like I was her useless slave and made me fist one of her friend’s in some on-stage performance. I think she made 10 dollars or something from it. I had no idea what I was doing at the time and in retrospect, one would find that a little disturbing, but I found it hot, and still do. We were in Mexico and we needed to eat.

All this to say, if driving with your kid on your lap is so bad, you should look at what your neighbors are doing to their kids behind closed doors and more importantly, Britney is rich, and nothing bad ever happens to the rich people.

Posted in:Britney Spears|kids|parent|Slut|Unsorted

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