Kim Kardashian played make-belief yesterday when escorting her boyfriend to the gym. This was probably the first time this pig made it passed the front door because every other time she tried to go, she’d end up at the ice cream shop, but I guess since it’s the off season and she’s actually gotta spend time with her athlete boyfriend, she’s got no choice. The good news though is that he just makes Kim Kardashian stand 10 feet in front of the treadmill and bend over a little in her spandex, because it makes him run at her faster, since that shit is addictive to black men and he wants to mount her like they were an exhibit at the fucking zoo.
BONUS – Some Pics of Her Lookin’ At Her Ass after her rough workout.
Here are some pictures of Kim Kardashian not actually grabbing her crotch, because you know if she did, the smell that would radiate the room would cuz some Rodney King riots and no one needs that race war over pussy right now.
You always see Kim Kardashian out in work out gear, you’d think she was trying to convince herself that if she puts on the clothes she’s halfway there to actually breaking a fucking sweat and getting her dumpy fucking body into some shape. Who knows, maybe on her intentions are legit and on her way to the gym, you know after telling herself that “today is the day”, she just gets sidetracked when she sees an Asian manicure place and by the time they are done on her mangled feet, it’s too late to work out, I mean especially since you don’t want to ruin the pedicure in her gym shoes, so she goes out for ice cream instead. You can’t really blame her for getting poor Asian women up on her shit and grinding her toe nails down, because she’s tried to do it herself but she just can’t seem to reach her feet, her gut gets in the fucking way.
Either way, she should probably be the one tending to a challenging foot, because god knows she needs the cardio.
Here are some pictures of Kim Kardashian getting her nails done and she’s lookin’ more ethnic than ever.
Seriously, not sure what it is, but these pictures scream that bitch just got off the boat and is eager to learn about American traditions and take advantage of the “free world” and “land of opportunity” until realizing it is impossible to get work, forcing her to trust some sleaze who introduces her to the underground sex trade turning that dreamy look of excitement and innocence ready to embrace adventure and turnin’ the look her eyes into nothing but despair and fear, realizing that life back in Iran wasn’t so bad after all and if only she could have known what she was getting herself into before escaping the country and knowing that she’d give anything to get the fuck back there because life wasn’t as bad as they made it out to be, and America wasn’t as good as she was told and all she wants is to just hug her mother because she’s so alone and afraid and just needs a fucking hug…
I don’t know if that made sense, I am tired and dyslexic so nothing really makes sense to me. Just words floating around the screen.
So Kim Kardashian’s still doing her workout video, which means she’s gotta get in shape before they start filming, which is exactly what I want out of the person I am using to inspire me to get in shape. You know, someone who was a fat slob of a girl known for having a fat ass and fat tits, who decided that should could make money off this great new concept, so she goes into hardcore workout mode between now and April, so by the time of shooting the DVD she’ll be in good enough shape to make the people who buy it, not use it for jerk off purposes while eating donuts. But you all know as soon as the DVD is shot, she’ll be back to her old ways, this lie is just a money making scheme and I hope it fails, as it fucking should, because she’s got no fucking business talking about anything that involves being fit.
I guess I was wrong about KIm Kardashian, it turns out that she does know how to walk. Sure she only takes a couple of steps while looking for her driver, because even he knows she’s a useless nobody, not worth being on time for, but that’s more exercise than this pig has had all year. This is like running a marathon for her and you can tell in her panting that she feels the fucking burn.
Now let’s just hope the rest of the world takes her driver’s lead and forgets about her, because that is the only way to make this whore disappear. You got that? So stop jerking off to her fat ass, fat tits and fat head that you helped create. It is just that simple.
Kim Kardashian in work-out gear is the same thing as an anorexic girl at an all you can eat buffet. It just doesn’t make sense to me, because she’s fat. The fact that she’s got a work-out DVD coming out is like an anorexic landing a cooking show. I am sure there are better analogies, but today’s not a good day, especially after writing about this useless bitch with about as much substance as my dog’s shit, that seems to have an endless supply, but always stinks, if anything I should win a fucking award for trying to come up with something out of nothing for the last 4 or 5 years….
The guy from Hollywood.tv who provides me with the videos I use daily comes from the UK and his background was high end/trendy ice cream shops. I guess his business strategy was to hold off on opening an LA ice cream shop and instead integrate himself into the celebrity scene to later use to promote his ice cream, but I don’t fucking know or care.
What I do know is that the Kardashian sisters, Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt and Perez Hilton were seen at his store creating their own celebrity milkshake and these were the ingredients they chose…..
Check out the ingredients of the newest celebrity shakes:
Kim Kardashian – Strawberries and Banana
Khloe Kardashian – Strawberries, Vanilla and Peaches.
Kourtney Kardashian – Cookie Dough, Peanut Butter and Captain Crunch.
Perez Hilton- Oreo, Coconut, Cap’N’Crunch.
Heidi Montag – Strawberries, Peaches and Pineapples
Spencer Pratt – M&M’s, Cookie Dough and Hershey’s Chocolate Syrup
I like how Khloe Kardashian is keeping up with the boys and I use that term loosely (Perez), by hitting up the shit that is bad for you, maybe it is because she’s built like a fucking wrestler and needs to maintain her physique or maybe it’s just because she’s a fucking pig. I wonder how authentic Perez Hilton’s articles can really be, considering he is friends with these idiots, and I guess who really cares. The real issue is why I am bother posting this and I really don’t have an answer. Maybe watching Kim Kardashian give into her ass and feet it dairy turns me on, but I doubt that’s it. I think it’s got more to do with their desperation for attention….
Kim Kardashian went to try on thousand dollar shoes because she’s rich and excessive but more importantly because fat chicks love shoes and she’s a fat chick, despite popular belief. The reason fat chicks love shoes is simple. It is the one article of clothing they can indulge in that doesn’t make them feel bad about themselves when they try them on. They are the same size that they’ve been since they were 16 and often times they can squeeze into a smaller size than their skinny counterparts. So if you ever roll past a shoe store, you’ll notice the dollar spent on shoes increases based on a girl’s weight. So seeing Kim Kardashian struggle to get her shoes off is not all that surprising, I mean as a fat person I know how hard bending can be, I mean that’s why I try to stick with velcro running shoes, because it makes leaving the house less work, you know with me on the ground trying my hardest to get to the laces, almost always ending up rolling on the floor, using a chair for support and spending way too much time doing one of life’s simple tasks. It is a serious handicap. The difference is that Kim Kardashian has hired help to remove her shoes for her, because I guess that laziness is how she got in this mess. I mean maybe I am jumping to conclusions, maybe she really got herself trapped in these shoes and they needed the Jaws of Life to get her out, like the time I drove into a lamp post while drunk, or maybe her ankles are just swollen like the rest of her. I guess it really doesn’t matter but I’ve gone this far so I might as well post it.
I am hoping that this video, despite being direct from the paparazzi, is a fucking joke. You know, like the kind of thing you’d expect to find on Funny or Die or some shit, because in it, Kim Kardashian announces that she’s releasing a work-out DVD. Now, I’ve come to terms with LA being filled with these useless cunts who need to be in the spotlight because they’ve always had everything they’ve ever wanted and the only thing their daddy’s money can’t buy is general acceptance by the public, so they do these sex tapes, they host parties, they go to events and they try to stay relevant, but the idea of Kardashian doing a workout tape is like Jordan promoting breast amputation, Paris Hilton promoting safe sex, Lohan promoting sobriety, or me promoting a self help book. Maybe I’m the only one who isn’t blinded by the glitz and glam and see nothing but a fat pig of a girl, or maybe she’s trying to kill the stigma that she’s a slob of a girl and producing the shit herself. Maybe companies are desperate enough to get any name attached to their shit, but I think it’d be safe to say she’d be better off promoting an all you can eat buffet, you know the pitch could be “Obesity works for me, guys still want my cunt, try the chocolate cake it’s to die for”. I know that working out with her in your living room, is just some twisted shit that would make people like my wife happy, because my wife is fat and would feel better about working on her look with someone who is also fat, like they have some kind of rapport but she’d also be down with the exercises like lifting the chips out of the bag and into your fat whore mouth, or the getting up and walking to the door to pay the pizza delivery guy….if you know what I mean.
