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Archive for the Kim Kardashian Category

2009

22

Jan

Kim Kardashian’s Wearing Work Out Gear of the Day

Kim Kardashian in work-out gear is the same thing as an anorexic girl at an all you can eat buffet. It just doesn’t make sense to me, because she’s fat. The fact that she’s got a work-out DVD coming out is like an anorexic landing a cooking show. I am sure there are better analogies, but today’s not a good day, especially after writing about this useless bitch with about as much substance as my dog’s shit, that seems to have an endless supply, but always stinks, if anything I should win a fucking award for trying to come up with something out of nothing for the last 4 or 5 years….

Posted in:Ass|Fat|Kim Kardashian|Work Out

2009

19

Jan

Kim Kardashian and Friends Like Milkshakes of the Day

The guy from Hollywood.tv who provides me with the videos I use daily comes from the UK and his background was high end/trendy ice cream shops. I guess his business strategy was to hold off on opening an LA ice cream shop and instead integrate himself into the celebrity scene to later use to promote his ice cream, but I don’t fucking know or care.

What I do know is that the Kardashian sisters, Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt and Perez Hilton were seen at his store creating their own celebrity milkshake and these were the ingredients they chose…..

Check out the ingredients of the newest celebrity shakes:

Kim Kardashian – Strawberries and Banana

Khloe Kardashian – Strawberries, Vanilla and Peaches.

Kourtney Kardashian – Cookie Dough, Peanut Butter and Captain Crunch.

Perez Hilton- Oreo, Coconut, Cap’N’Crunch.

Heidi Montag – Strawberries, Peaches and Pineapples

Spencer Pratt – M&M’s, Cookie Dough and Hershey’s Chocolate Syrup

I like how Khloe Kardashian is keeping up with the boys and I use that term loosely (Perez), by hitting up the shit that is bad for you, maybe it is because she’s built like a fucking wrestler and needs to maintain her physique or maybe it’s just because she’s a fucking pig. I wonder how authentic Perez Hilton’s articles can really be, considering he is friends with these idiots, and I guess who really cares. The real issue is why I am bother posting this and I really don’t have an answer. Maybe watching Kim Kardashian give into her ass and feet it dairy turns me on, but I doubt that’s it. I think it’s got more to do with their desperation for attention….

Posted in:Kim Kardashian|Perez Hilton

2009

16

Jan

Kim Kardashian is Too Lazy to Take Her Shoes Off of the Day

Kim Kardashian went to try on thousand dollar shoes because she’s rich and excessive but more importantly because fat chicks love shoes and she’s a fat chick, despite popular belief. The reason fat chicks love shoes is simple. It is the one article of clothing they can indulge in that doesn’t make them feel bad about themselves when they try them on. They are the same size that they’ve been since they were 16 and often times they can squeeze into a smaller size than their skinny counterparts. So if you ever roll past a shoe store, you’ll notice the dollar spent on shoes increases based on a girl’s weight. So seeing Kim Kardashian struggle to get her shoes off is not all that surprising, I mean as a fat person I know how hard bending can be, I mean that’s why I try to stick with velcro running shoes, because it makes leaving the house less work, you know with me on the ground trying my hardest to get to the laces, almost always ending up rolling on the floor, using a chair for support and spending way too much time doing one of life’s simple tasks. It is a serious handicap. The difference is that Kim Kardashian has hired help to remove her shoes for her, because I guess that laziness is how she got in this mess. I mean maybe I am jumping to conclusions, maybe she really got herself trapped in these shoes and they needed the Jaws of Life to get her out, like the time I drove into a lamp post while drunk, or maybe her ankles are just swollen like the rest of her. I guess it really doesn’t matter but I’ve gone this far so I might as well post it.

Posted in:Fat|Kim Kardashian|Shoes

2009

13

Jan

Kim Kardashian’s Got a Work Out DVD of the Day

I am hoping that this video, despite being direct from the paparazzi, is a fucking joke. You know, like the kind of thing you’d expect to find on Funny or Die or some shit, because in it, Kim Kardashian announces that she’s releasing a work-out DVD. Now, I’ve come to terms with LA being filled with these useless cunts who need to be in the spotlight because they’ve always had everything they’ve ever wanted and the only thing their daddy’s money can’t buy is general acceptance by the public, so they do these sex tapes, they host parties, they go to events and they try to stay relevant, but the idea of Kardashian doing a workout tape is like Jordan promoting breast amputation, Paris Hilton promoting safe sex, Lohan promoting sobriety, or me promoting a self help book. Maybe I’m the only one who isn’t blinded by the glitz and glam and see nothing but a fat pig of a girl, or maybe she’s trying to kill the stigma that she’s a slob of a girl and producing the shit herself. Maybe companies are desperate enough to get any name attached to their shit, but I think it’d be safe to say she’d be better off promoting an all you can eat buffet, you know the pitch could be “Obesity works for me, guys still want my cunt, try the chocolate cake it’s to die for”. I know that working out with her in your living room, is just some twisted shit that would make people like my wife happy, because my wife is fat and would feel better about working on her look with someone who is also fat, like they have some kind of rapport but she’d also be down with the exercises like lifting the chips out of the bag and into your fat whore mouth, or the getting up and walking to the door to pay the pizza delivery guy….if you know what I mean.

Posted in:Fat|Kim Kardashian|Work Out DVD

2009

09

Jan

Kim Kardashian Fat Ass Gets Her Nails Done of the Day

Kim Kardashian brought her ass out to get a mani/pedi in some workout gear that she clearly wears for fashion and not utility, because the last time this fat ass did anything cardiovascular it was seeing how many donuts it could swallow and by donuts I mean big black penis and the last time she broke a sweat is when the air conditioning broke last summer. But even though she’s useless, she’s still rich and managed to fill her fun filled day by taking a solid hour to make herself feel important by ordering some poor asian around by getting her to slave over her dumpy fucking feet, something some of you may consider a lesbian dominatrix experience….but I consider boring, but not as boring as this fucking post, I need to go out and get inspired….

Bonus – Here’s the Video

Posted in:Fat Ass|Kim Kardashian|Nails

2008

16

Dec

Kim Kardashian’s Brags About Her 24 Inch Rims of the Day

Nothing says you’re a useless commercial hip hop influenced, club slut, Ed Hardy wearing motherfucker, than seeing a fat chick talk about her 24 inch rims on her expensive car.

Not only do I not give a fuck about how big a person’s tires on, or even what car their privileged little vagina drives, the shit just doesn’t impress me and I don’t find it interesting at all, especially when the person in question is Kim Kardashian, who has enough money to have a custom sidecar built for her ass out of diamonds and still not notice the dent in her trust fund ass, so seeing her brag about her 10,000 dollars rim is just weak, but I guess when you have absolutely no fucking substance this is the kind of conversation you have. I am not saying that I have substance and that I am a model example of what your conversations should consist of, but I am saying that if you are a rich girl, talking about things you bought with your whore money, especially when it is about your tires is pretty fucking weak.

Speaking of weak, I hear the car needed 24 inch rims to support the weight of her and her sister Khloe, it was buckling out, so I guess it’s not very nice to laugh at her disability or equipment used to support her disability, like the time a cripple when he brags about his brand new motorized wheelchair and I told him he’s still in a wheel chair, or the guy I saw with uneven feet showin’ off his platform shoe he just picked up at the shoemaker, or even like the time I tried to free a blind guys seeing eye dog because I knew he was a free laborer and I don’t like seeing people get exploited, only the cheesy cunt version.

Posted in:Car|Fat|Kim Kardashian

2008

25

Nov

Kim Kardashian Does Ebay of the Day

So I have some fake Kim Kardashian on Facebook. The other day, some dude or creepy person who jerks off to her profile all day hoping she answers him, wrote something on her wall “have a sweet Sunday” and I responded hoping to get deleted as a friend while leaving my mark by saying something like “every day for Kim Kardashian is sweet, but that’s just because she can’t stop eating cake”, or something like that. They kept me as a friend, because I assume some bitter assistant or person pretending to be Kim Kardashian thinks it is funny, because even though they work for her, they still can’t fucking stand her and her bullshit cunt ways, or maybe there’s a small possibility it is actually her and since she doesn’t know how to read, or since it is true, or since she thinks I am complimenting her, she kept me around….

Anyway, whoever is running that facebook profile posted a link to Kim Kardashian’s charity ebay auction that I had no idea existed.

Want to buy my Range Rover or any of my cloth???
Today at 7:41am

We are on the homepage of Ebay today auctioning off some of our most prized possessions!

I’m auctioning off my Range Rover, Reggie is giving up his Mercedes and Kourtney has made her Maserati available!

Check out our auction page to get all of the details. A portion of the proceeds goes to my favorite charity, the Dream Foundation!!!

Happy bidding!

XOXO,
Kim

She is selling off clothes, shoes, accessories, and cars, like this down on her luck stipper I know, who turned to the internet to sell her used panties to perverts because she heard she can make money off it. Sure proceeds of the strippers online panty shop don’t really go to charity, unless you consider her obscene amount of abortions a science experiment, but a percentage of Kim Kardashian’s auctions go to Charity, I guess you know with being a greedy little fame whore, with all the money in the world, who probably didn’t pay for any of the shit she’s selling, it’s only natural to give 5% of the sale to fat camps, or other relevant charities, so she doesn’t look like the greedy fucking pig that we all know she is.

Here’s a Sample of some of the things she is selling:

Kim Kardashian’s STRIKING Checkered Bustier


Bid to own Kim Kardashian’s top!! STRIKING Red and White checkered top, bustier style. Demi. There is a row of red fabric covered buttons up front, center. Adjustable straps have large ruffle detail. Smocked on the sides for stretch and detail. Back zip, measures 19″ from top of sleeve to bottom. Cute and can be doubled as a table cloth, it is that big.

Kim Kardashian’s MYSTIQUE thongs


Bid to own Kim Kardashian’s top!! MYSTIQUE thongs. Named the MYSTIQUE because some of the world’s top scientists and designers collaborated in what is considered one of Man’s greatest accomplishments, to find a way to fit Kim Kardashian’s bottom heavy figure into a thong, with comfort and the safety of the people around her in mind.

Kim’s White Range Rover

Want the paparazzi to mistake you for Kim as you pull up at the club? It could happen – bid on her famous and signature vehicle, a 2006 white Supercharged Range Rover, and live the glamorous life of Kim Kardashian! In addition to the star power this Ranger Rover brings with it. Kim recently had the pink accents and trim removed to create a more stylish look. It was also featured along with Kim on the cover of the June 2007 issue of DUB Magazine.

This vehicle has been well maintained, has low mileage, and is in excellent condition. It is clean inside and out, and has been regularly serviced. The custom sound system includes two JL Audio 500/1 and one 300/4 amps, two 12-inch W6-V2 subwoofers, and two pairs of 6.5-inch compone

Reinforced Suspension to Support Kim’s Fat ass and Doublewide seats to allow her to fit in the car and feel like a normal person, instead of the fat slob that she is could be great for other people battling with obesity.

90 percent of cum stains have been bleached out.

Check Out Kim Kardashian’s Auctions If You”re Some Pervert Who Wants to Jerk Off In Her Shoe, Purse or Range Rover or if you want to see greedy rich people trying to make more money off free shit by masking it as a charity, even though it’s just another way to line her cunt pockets…There’s video on some of the auctions….I was too lazy to pull that shit and post it here, so you’ll have to do some diggin’ yourself you lazy fuck….
GO

Here’s a screenshot of my facebook stupidities….

Posted in:ebay|Kim Kardashian

2008

18

Nov

Kim Kardashian Is Fat and Photoshopped of the Day

There are a group of people out there who just don’t get it. They are mainstream, conventional and suburban. I came across one of those drones the other day and they were familiar with this site. They felt it was a great opportunity to tell me what I do isn’t legitimate, honest, honorable, or whatever other word they used, because I stopped listening. They asked me if I’d rather have my daughter marry a doctor, lawyer or accountant and I told him I didn’t have a daughter, but wouldn’t give a shit who she married just as long as she let me watch her give birth, because seeing a baby come out of a pussy, even my daughter’s pussy is like porn to me….

I was just trying to get the dude to fuck off, because I don’t really give a fuck what he thinks is legitimate, or whether he thinks what I write about is sleazy, useless drivel or porn, because it works for me. I get to sit on my ass all day, pretend I am busy, barely make enough money to pay for my server and if there is money left over, I can just drink more and not have to ask my wife to borrow shit, making her think I am dependent on her, but still remain enough of a hurtbag to not take any responsibility for myself or the family by paying for rent, food or utilities, because I just tell my wife I am working towards something, even though I am pretending and every day, the site is closer to dying, whether it is because of paparazzi agency lawsuits, FBI issued complaints from haters or not making the server fees cuz traffic is dying fast and companies don’t want to advertise…..or just my laziness….alcoholism or inability to make anything work….

But before I go, I decided I needed a purpose, something substantial, to really have next to my name in Wikipedia even though I tried to create a Wikipedia page about myself and shit got deleted, even though Perez Hilton and every other site have a Wikipedia page. I figured if I was the guy who outted something, or broke some story or even invented something, or brought something to light, then I would be legitimate, and not some hack with a really shitty computer. So that something I chose is to prove that Kim Kardashian is fat.

Now, I know it shouldn’t take that much work because shit is fucking obvious, so obvious my retarded neighbor who has the brain capacity of a 9 year old knows she’s fat, so it should be easy and easy works for me. I mean every girl I’ve ever bagged has been easy, every challenge I’ve put myself against has been easy, except for the time I wanted to walk 2 miles up hill because I didn’t have money for a bus and thougth I was going to die, but other than that, the only challenging thing I do is not drink myself to death.

So, I made the right choice in topic of study, because I don’t have much of an attention span, but I do know that every time I call this whore a pig, or fat, or disgusting, or claim she needs to work out, or get her stomach stapled like she was DJ AM or Roseanne, or Carnie Wilson, I get at least 3 emails, which is alot of me, telling me that the girls I like look like little boys, that Kim’s got some meat in all the right places and that she’s the hottest thing ever, and I just write back telling them that she’s just a product of photoshop, smoke and mirrors and you’re all getting fucked by the media.

She’s no natural beauty, she’s busted even with the plastic surgery she’s had and beyond her looks, she’s got nothing to offer the world, but leeching behavior that pretty much mocks the human race every day. There’s nothing hot about her, and the truth is that she’s overweight and in my new calling/ life work, in hopes to legitimize myself for Jewish judgemental, suburbanites trying to make their mom’s proud, who I really don’t care about, but the story fit into this post because it did happen yesterday, I came across a photoshop retouching company and guess who their portfolio guinea pig is Kardashian, probably because anyone who has seen a raw photo of her, know the work of a master needs to come in to make it worth lookin’ at…..and I ripped off their pics to prove my point that this bitch is a fucking cow, so stop emailing me about how she isn’t.

Picture 1 –

Before

After

Picture 2 –

Before

After

Picture 3 –

Before

After

Posted in:Fat|Kim Kardashian|Photoshop

2008

17

Nov

Kim Kardashian Lets Her Ass Out of the Bag of the Day

I posted pictures of Kim Kardashian in some staged bikini pictures the other day, where she was covering her fat ass up because even she knows it’s disgusting, but as per her agreement with this paparazzi agency, they’ve taken the full bikini pictures, photoshopped the cellulite out, sent them to her people, got her approval and have no released them. It’s all part of the process of running the Kim Kardashian machine that has manipulated the public into thinking she’s some kind of sex symbol or some shit, and I am posting the pictures, because I hate her and everyone who thinks she’s beautiful…..when Ray J got it right the first time and used her as the urinal that she is, unfortunately something that was left on the editing room floor, because editing is really the foundation of her career and the only thing that makes her look decent enough to stomach.

Posted in:Ass|Bikini|Kim Kardashian

2008

15

Nov

Kim and Kourtney Kardashian and Kristin Cavallari in their Bikinis of the Day

Kim Kardashian is a fat chick who has no business being famous or landing work. The only thing she’s ever accomplished is the best damn Paris Hilton rip off out there. She talks exactly like her, she pulled off the sex tape shit like her and it got her work, like her….but that’s about all she’s done. I look at these pictures and see that even Kim knows she’s fat, otherwise that ass wouldn’t be covered up like the birth defect and result of laziness and bad eating habits that it is….but for some reason, people still think she’s some kind of natural beauty, despite not being neither beautiful or natural. Just because she denies getting work done, doesn’t mean she hasn’t had work done, this is a useless bitch we’re dealing with and as a useless bitch, everything that comes out of her mouth is fuckin’ useless…..

I guess she found a couple people who are more useless than her to hang with in their bikinis and despite hating them, I don’t hate bikinis and I am posting this shit despite them ruining this shit….

On a side note, if you’re wondering why Kirstin Cavallari is pretty much irrelevant, I think it’s gotta do with the fact that she’s got a shitty ass, a pot belly and the length of her head, is longer that the length of her torso and that’s some bobble head shit, I can’t really grasp…..oh and because she didn’t agree to do The spinoff of Laguna Beach that you may have heard of called The Hills…..because I guess she was delusional and thought she was too talented for that or some shit….

Either way, here are the rest of the pictures:

Posted in:Bikini|Kim Kardashian|Kourtney Kardashian|Kristin Cavallari