Heidi Klum Archives - Page 13 of 16 Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

2010

17

Mar

Heidi Klum Shows Off Her Freakishly Hot Mom Body of the Day

One of the miracles of modern times, like the shit people will look back on in 1000 years about our generation is Heidi Klum. This bitch gets ravaged by big black cock the way the Germans like it, with pain and feces and pumps out a small army of half breed kids, in efforts to detach herself with her aryan Nazi background, like a final fuck you to Hitler for tarnishing her people and proving that the stereotypes of Germans just aren’t true, but still manages to look like this…she must be genetically modified cuz it doesn’t make any sense…

I don’t know when these pictures were taken or why, I just know she’s showing off some tit and body that even if it is photoshopped, still looks fucking amazing…without even considering the fact that she’s damaged goods….and more moms need to start taking notes on this shit or something cuz more pussy needs to age this well…

I am convinced her beauty stems from her grandmother and mother being exposed to some freakish Nazi Germany initiative from their human DNA testing that lead to spiking the water system with chemicals that re-worked their genetics for some to win Olympic medals in Gymnastics and other to look this good…because I don’t know what’s going on here…but I know something is going on here. This is almost not human….and no matter how good it looks it is totally unnatural…

Posted in:Heidi Klum|Mom|Topless

2010

02

Mar

Heidi Klum’s Ex-Model Legs of the Day

5 Comments »

Here is United Nations babymaker Heidi Klum trying to break down German tradition and sterotype of eating sausage and sauerkrout before killing all things non-Aryan, by having a dozen kids with Seal, like she was some kind of farm animal…and the funny thing is that I’ve been seeing a lot more German women out there with Black boyfriends, husbands, baby daddies, like it’s a fucking trend to break their horrible reputation of the past…but I think it’s more of a sexual thing than a political thing, don’t let her wholesome mom face fool you, cuz I’ve see German porn and shit is on another level of crazy, that would probably require a very strong, huge-cocked black man to participate in by ripping them apart at the seam before getting shit on in some kind of bloody, stinky, poop covered mess. The baby-making is just a bi-product of that.

Either way, no matter how beat up, clamped up or ripped apart her pussy may be and no matter how much she likes being shit on, or shitting on black men, I still think she’s got it going on….so here are some pictures of her to remind us of what was….

Pics via PacificCoastNews

Posted in:Ex-Model|Heidi Klum|Legs

2010

11

Feb

Heidi Klum’s Ass in Jeans of the Day

3 Comments »

Here is a picture of Heidi Klum’s ass to remind those of you who have wives or baby mommas who got fat after the pregnancy and blamed the pregnancy that your woman is full of shit and just fucking lazy.

Realize that she’s been waiting for an excuse to sit around and eat all day for her entire life and knew that once she locked a dude down and got knocked up she could finally stop ordering the fucking salads and starving herself and eat the extra cheese pizza, fries and everything else she’s been depriving herself in trying to stay desirable enough to lock a sucker down.

Seriously, Heidi Klum has a great fucking ass, she’s middle aged and has an army of half African kids with Seal, a black man who would still love her if she was 250 lbs, and she manages to look like this. It is amazing and a reminder that everyday girls suck.

Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Ass|Denim|Heidi Klum

2010

26

Jan

Heidi Klum Sex Doll I Wanna Fuck of the Day

3 Comments »

Now Seal is officially not the only one allowed to use Heidi Klum as a sex doll he can knock up whenever the fuck he wants….but so can the janitor at the wax museum that just introduced this hot body wax figure of the model. See as long as the security cameras aren’t on, motherfucker can easily hike up that skirt, and drill a fuck hole in her backside and have his way with her, dropping his load inside her and no one will ever fuckin’ no, and that’s sure as hell a lot more fun than dealing with ego while dusting the Diddy Wax Figure …..

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Heidi Klum|Wax Figure

2009

04

Dec

Heidi Klum’s Mom Ass in a Skirt Modeling of the Day

4 Comments »

This is the booty the Seal fucks the shit out of before not pulling the fuck out and knocking her the fuck up for the 10th fucking time all bounced back into shape after giving birth to their latest mixed-race creature. She is already getting world modeling for some German bullshit and she remains a good freak of nature because even teenage girls with eatin disorders don’t bounce back from their baby-weight this fat….another thing in her life that is a freak of nature….Seal’s face…but that doesn’t really matter, what does matter is when are they going to release a sex tape…because I can only assume as a German woman and a very large black man with a mangled face….the shit is fucking demonic to watch…I’m talking scat, bondage, latex and piss…possible inclusion of midgets and barn animals…I don’t fucking know…I just know it’ll be good and not even because of how hot this bitch is, just because I know there is a reason for all their breeding and I want a glimpse into it….

Either way, Heidi Klum has a substantially better body than every single mother I have met over the last few decades and that’s all I have to saw about that…

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Heidi Klum|Mom Ass|Skirt

2009

30

Oct

Heidi Klum in Some Almost Naked Photos of the Day

5 Comments »

Heidi Klum is hot, even after all the damage she’s done to herself, like the whole 4 babies thing and the whole marrying and fucking a big black monster looking guy who probably ravages her on every level because German’s are supposed to hate Black People, unless they are Mili Vanilli at their prime, until they are Milli Vanilli a public embarrassment to the country, you know that whole Aryan race thing, but I guess that all goes out the concntration camp window when your german sexual issues take over your decision making, because I’ve seen German porn and Heidi Klum being German means she does some very insane things in bed by default….

Either way, here are some pics from some book a photographer is putting out about his pics of her.

Posted in:Heidi Klum|Naked|Nipples|Pictures

2009

29

Oct

Heidi Klum Chocolate Covered Nipple of the Day

6 Comments »

I guess after having Seal’s chocolate milk all over her face, all over her womb, all over her ass, all over her stomach, in her mouth, on her tits and pretty much everywhere else his massive black garden hose could reach her hot German body, it was only natural for her to do this photoshoot.

Posted in:Heidi Klum|Nipple

2009

25

Sep

Very Pregnant Heidi Klum Nipple of the Day

11 Comments »

Heidi Klum and Seal are serious fucking breeders. I’ve heard about couples wanting to have a kid or two, but she seems to be constantly pregnant and lookin at the size of her now really scares me, not only because I can’t stand the idea of a baby growing inside another person like some kind of virus or STD, like the girl who makes me sandwiches who told me she had to take the day off to get pre-cancerous cells burned off her cervix because she had sex with dirty people in her youth and had HPV making me want to fuck my sandwich instead of eating it cuz it was just that fucking hot, only in Heidi Klum’s case shit does a lot more damage to her pussy…not that Seal hasn’t already done an amazing job massacring that thing, I mean she’s definitely not married to him because of his boyish good looks, since he looks like something out of a horror movie, which may be something German’s like since they are a sick breed of jew killing monsters, she’s married to him because of his massive dick.

Here are pics of her hard nipples and her massive belly that I am pretty sure she will bounce back from….

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Heidi Klum|Pregnant

2009

25

May

Heidi Klum for McDonald’s of the Day

2 Comments »

I was walking by a McDonald’s earlier today and saw the skinniest girl I have probably ever seen walking towards the door. I was thinking to myself that to have a body like that, there is no way a motherfucker eats that shit, but I was wrong, she walked right in. Maybe she was a heroin addict or bulemic and I was dealing with her on a binge, but I think she was just a skinny girl who got down with disgusting food every now and then, so I asked her to let me take a picture of her, so that I’d post it on the site and maybe get her a job as their new spokesperson, because McDonald’s needs someone who isn’t fat and dying of liver failure from eating the shitty processed food, you know a poster girl who doesn’t need poster sized paper to print up pictures of themselves because normal cameras can’t take it all fuckin’ in, especially since bitch was worth a fuckin’ round, but then she just told me to fuck myself and I guess you can’t really help someone who doesn’t want to be helped, or maybe I just shouldn’t have bothered a binging girl, eating away her sadness despite her eating disorder at her darkest time.

So when I saw these pics of Klum promoting some McDonald’s shit, I got excited because I knew my vision was on the right fuckin’ track and that it must have been a sign from fuckin’ God telling me I’m a fuckin’ genius, but I doubt it.

Posted in:Heidi Klum|McDonalds

2009

01

May

Star Trek Premiere Pussy of the Day

1 Comment »

Star Trek is coming and I’m sure that means that you are too, because Star Trek was the only friend you had growing up. It was the one thing you really connected with and when the internet hit it allowed you to find like minded loser virgins who you could interact with and meet at conventions to hang out with and is really the only reason you ever got married, so in a lot of ways Star Trek, the reason you were such a loser growing up, is the same reason you got pussy in the first place….

Here’s a little Heidi Klum throwin’ up her Virgin Gang Signs….I think that is like the hybrid shocker for girls with fatty assholes…but I am usually wrong about that shit…

Here’s some bad space jokes and others who were at the event….Which is funny because when you used to throw you Star Trek parties the only person who showed up was your stuffed animals and kid sister. I guess they got paid the fuck off, you know trying to take the acne faced, asthmatic, red headed pre-conceived notions of the shit…..

Amanda Bynes was there cuz her legs are out of this world…..