Jock Archives Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

Archive for the Jock Category

2008

Apr

Anna Kournikova is a Jock Running a Marathon of the Day

I like girls who work out and have prison tattoos it reminds me of the army, not that I was ever in the army but I like to pretend I was when crawling through my neighbors window to steal his daughter’s panties. It’s makes the whole experience so much more fun, because I know he’s down on his luck and would sell me the shit if I just offered him a couple of bucks or some of my old empties, but the truth is it’s not as exciting as putting on war paint and a pair of cargo pants to really feel like my life has a purpose and that I am on some special operative sting.

Here are some pictures of Anna Kournikova showing off her fit body and prison tattoos while running a triathalong an that is a lot better than looking at a lazy Kim Kardashian sitting on her fat rich ass. Truth is that I am pretty envious of anyone who is even capable of walking up a flight of stairs without throwing up from exhaustion, like my wife usually does and soon I will be doing, because it turns out after living with someone for a long time, you pick up their disgusting habits, and my wife’s got a whole barrel of fucking disgusting that will lead to my early retirement from this life, unfortunately we won’t be having a party with a golden handsake, maybe just a golden shower all over my tombstone. I guess I have a lot in more in common with Kardashian than I thought….

Posted in:Anna Kournikova|Jock|Marathon

2007

Jun

I am – Maria Sharapova Practising her Tennis of the Day

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I figure since you’re a bunch of lazy perverts, you’ll appreciate watching or looking at pictures of one of the hottest bitches in tennis training. You can look at her struggling with her ball, bending over, stretching and making forced faces that are similar to the faces she’d make banging you and pretend that she is banging you, because you are creepy….

I decided that I should become a stand up comedian because it’s a life that is designed for fat losers with nothing much to say but nonsense they come up with while sitting at home getting drunk alone in efforts to forget how much their lives suck.

The reason they think they have it in them to be stand up comedians is because their better looking friends always tell them that they are funny because there’s really not much else going for them and when trying to prevent your fat loser friend from killing themselves, you go for whatever it is you can to make them feel better about themselves.

The only real reason why their funny is because they are overcompensating for their inability to look good enough to fuck and some asshole told them that humor is the fastest way into a girls pants while forgetting to tell them that that only applies after all the good looking and successful guys are unavailable.

So stand up comedy is this who fucking pool of assholes who have this delusional idea of having what it takes.

Since I figure I fit the part, here are some jokes I wrote in efforts to live the fucking loser dream:

Maybe fagâ€™s are into to you because you are an asshole

That’s pretty much all I’ve got….

2007

Jun

I am – Serena Williams Bikini Body of the Day

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So to balance out the day, I figured I’d throw up these Serena Williams bikini pictures, even though I linked these fuckers in the stepLINKS last night. If you’re wondering what I mean by balance shit out, I am not talking about throwing this thick piece of ass on a scale to prove that her workout regime has gone totally fucking wrong, I am not really sure what I am talking about, but I was thinking along the lines of since my last 2 posts were of chicks in bikinis, I should give some airtime to dudes in a bikini.

I think it’s safe to say that her boyfriend is wallet fucking her or trying to get ahead in his own career as a possible hip hop MC or some shit and getting in paparazzi pictures is a solid way to promote yourself because there is no way he’s with her because she’s a good fuck or because she’s a gentle lady.

All the masking your sexuality and taking female hormones all because her dad wanted a champion tennis player can make any dude pretty fucking pissed off. I remember this one time I was drunk and passed out at a party and some chick put make up on me. I looked really pretty and felt like I had been raped. Taking away someone’s manhood is probably the worst kind of abuse a person can endure and making bitch live the role so well so that she doesn’t give up the jig when she goes out in public in lady’s bikinis is totally humiliating.

She’s the kind of girl who doesn’t have a vagina, so it’s in the ass everyday and I am not talking about in her ass, I am talking about in your ass. All the hard training and loses in her sport means she’s gotta take her aggression and frustration out somewhere….

I know that everyone is saying that she’s a dude and that it’s a pretty obvious joke. I am sure she’s a nice person who just does too much weight lifting to scare all the dainty tennis chicks off the court. It’s like facing the monster at the end of a video game only the real life version and she makes millions because of it. If I could make millions doing anything, I’d probably do it. If I was creative, I would have come up with a whole other angle, but I’m not creative so suck my dick and while your at it, jerk off to this bitch’s dick. Gaylord.