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Archive for the Jordyn Jones Category

2020

26

Jun

Jordyn Jones Nip Slip of the Day

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, this Jordyn Jones dancing bitch from Kalamazoo Michigan looks like some kind of inbred trash that should be working at Walmart, and that should be 50 to 100 pounds heavier, but for whatever reason found dance and it kept her thin, and brought her to hollywood, but I can assure you she’s got the Fat Genes and she will cave into her MICHIGAN calling of motorized scooters with purple ankles thanks to the diabetes we can assume bother her parents back home have, while she’s out here being “hollywood” or at least flashing her tit intentionally for attention. It’s a marketing tactic you know. Oh, we know.

Jordyn Jones Nip Slip


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Posted in:Jordyn Jones

2020

24

Jun

Jordyn Jones Looks Inbred of the day

Jordyn Jones is some trending slut from the internet who I guess pretends to sing and dance or some shit….but who really is just a blonde, now pink, haired pile of trashy from Kalamazoo Michigan, who looks like she’ll end up being 350 pounds and living in a trailer, but for now she’s monetizing her social media, her celebrity that we don’t really know where it came from…and I’m all for young tight dancer bodies…I know dancers can move and can bounce on a dick well…they basically train to fuck for their “art” of dance….even if dance as a concept is silly…but something about her just throws me off and I’ve figured out that it’s definitely her face…bitch looks straight up inbred…or retarded…or both….like when mom and dad are brother/sister or dad/daughter….I don’t know how they do it in white trash Kalamazoo but I do know there’s something fucking weird about her face and I don’t like it….it’s got the vibe of crackbabies I used to know from the foster system….but that doesn’t matter, you’d all still fuck her, and that’s what matters….oh and that she’s white trash…that’s always good too….until the dancing stops, the metabolism slows down and the shitty eating catches up with her…but until then, here’s her bikini hustle.

Posted in:Jordyn Jones

2020

16

Jun

Jordyn Jones Bikini Underboob of the Day

I don’t know who the fuck Jordyn Jones is but she’s slutty enough to have 6 million followers despite being cheesy as fuck, because she’s young, blonde, not fat, but probably will be fat, she’s from Michigan and the data is working against her staying this good….but she’s all hollywood now, so you just never know…

What I do know is that she posts up bikini pics and that is enough of that.

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Posted in:Jordyn Jones

2020

15

Jun

Jordyn Jones Wet and Slutty of the Day

I find it really weird that I’ve been posting about some young slutty girl with 6 million fans on social media for a while now and I still have no fucking idea who she is and I really don’t care, since I’m just here for the smutty bikini pics.

I am sure I’ve googled her a bunch of times to see what her deal actually is, but I don’t retain that kind of information, as she just gets more and more famous, at least in terms of followers everyday….the only think I really ever remember is that she’s from Kalamazoo, probably has a Gilbert Grape looking mom, and she bought her mom a Land Rover because she’s making too much money with those 6 million fans.

They pretend she’s an “artist” but there looks like there is nothing artistic about her, I judge books by their covers, and I am sure if I listened to her art, it’s hardly be art…if anything she’s just some young girl, being used to commuinicate to young people….and I guess a bunch of old perverts like us…and that’s ok.

But I think you need to know more about her…she was in a girl group called 5LP…I feel like they didn’t have 1LP….she was on the first season of Abby’s Ultimate Dance Competition, I didn’t know there was one season of Abby’s Dance Competition….she was inspired by Frozen to sing professionally…fuck we are old….she won a “cover competition” put on by Ryan Secrest because he’s a pervert….of an Iggy Azalea song….these are all very dumb fucking facts….

She is in her bikini…which I am sure she’s better at than singing….


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Posted in:Jordyn Jones

2020

11

Jun

Jordyn Jones Bikini Dance of the Day

Jordyn Jones may be in a bikini, but she looks like a real fucking idiot while dancing in a bikini, but since she’s in a bikini, we can handle the dumb shit….because men, when a girl is hot enough, will oversee anything and everything from personality disorders, to being HIV positive, just let us up in that or fantatasize about being up in that and we’re good.

So silly, embarrassing, cringeworthy dances that you can physically feel awkward watching because it is so bad, takes a back burner to young Michigan whore in a bikini not looking like any Michigan Walmart shoppers I’ve ever seen….so keep up the good work even if it’s bad provided you remain in bikini while doing it. That’s the scientific breakdown motherfuckers.

Jordyn Jones BEach Bikini


Jordyn Jones BEach

Jordyn Jones BEach Bikini
Jordyn Jones Bikini

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Posted in:Jordyn Jones

2020

03

Jun

Jordyn Jones Strawberry Picker of the Day

Jordyn Jones Strawberry Picking

Before the instagram sluts felt guilty about their vapid existences, living on their followers and monetizing the fuck out of their content, while people are out there dying…a guilt they extinguished by posting a black square on their feed…you know for fear of being shamed for not participating…something Jordyn Jones did…but only after she got her crop titty top and shorts in the Strawberry patch, possibly in Kalamazoo Michigan where she’s from…and where she’s probably pretty familiar with race wars since all the black people moved north to Michigan to work the car factories, before the car factories went to China and left them all broke, out of work, with toxic fucking water….so a white cop killing a black person is just what normal life is to her….nothing to get in the way of a titty top photo sucking strawberries seductively!!

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Posted in:Jordyn Jones

2020

29

May

Jordyn Jones Titty Top of the Day

Jordyn Jones from Kalmazooo has a new song and I wouldn’t know because I still haven’t figured out who Jordyn Jones is beyond being someone with trashy enough parents to name her Jordyn with a Y….get the fuck out of here with your trailer park names Kalamazoo.

I also wouldn’t know that Jordyn Jones has a new song because I am watching this on mute and staring at her waist to hip ratio, a scientifically proven thing that defines a girl’s level of hot…

You know the important support she needs.

Jordyn Jones Titty Top

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Posted in:Jordyn Jones

2020

21

May

Jordyn Jones Cameltoe Shorts of the Day

Jordyn Jones is here doing some hood hip hop dance that I find so fucking dumb – next to a Land Rover she bought her mom because I guess she’s got a lot of money from doing whatever it is that she does…that I assume involves doing this dance for paying customers, maybe not in the traditional sense like a sex worker, but for casting people, brand deals, who knows.

I just know that when this kind of dancing hit the white suburban folks, like this one from Kalamazoo Michigan, it made going to bars pretty embarrassing. All the girls trying to be J.Lo or Britney in weird intense choreographed dances…which isn’t really the hottest way to make a body move..

I am not hating on the little shorts, the crump, but I’d be more impressed if she did this while orgasming or making herself orgasm…because everything is better when there’s a climax….this just leaves me confused…like what’s the fucking point…but we ca all still stare at her little shorts so there’s that.


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Posted in:Jordyn Jones

2020

13

May

Jordyn Jones See Through of the Day

Jordyn Jones See Through Nipples

Jordyn Jones is some trending young slut, her shirt may be see through, but she concludes our starlets named Jones, at least until I check out what January Jones is up to….because I am watching the Netflix show about the closet case homophobe on the Jenny Jones show who was mad that his male friend proclaimed his crush to him…..so he killed him and they sued TMZ’s dad Warner Brothers who was at the time also Jenny Jones’ dad.

Not that you care, this is the second post about girls with the last name Jones who act or have some level of fame…no matter how low that level of fame is…our first Jones was posted 2 minutes ago and her name is Stevie Jones. Jordyn Jones is better and not just because she’s got a less aggressive boy’s name, but because she’s hotter.

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Posted in:Jordyn Jones

2020

28

Apr

Jordyn Jones Workout of the Day

Jordyn Jones is not Tom Jones’ daughter. She’s not Jenny Joness daughter. She’s not Tommy Lee Jones’ Daughter….give me more celebs with the last name Jones….JAMES EARL JONES…not his daughter either….I’ve gone down this route with this one before. My goto wtf am I going to say about a hot blonde chick from instagram showing off her workouts, which by default means she’s showing off her tight body in motion, because that’s what working out is for most people who aren’t 300 pounds and pretending to workout to justify eating the entire cake, or to appease their doctors, or to not die of COVID cuz a lot of the death are us fat fucks who don’t take care of ourselves…because why bother when slutty girls like this can do it for us.

I mean if we were to go to Gyms like we lived in Georgia, we couldn’t get the full experience if a girl like this was there squatting, because we are decent in our perversion and try to be discreet…

But on the internet…I can zoom in on where she shits from…and target just the pixels I want to cum to…asssuming I could still cum…I’m old and fat and that all ties back to the obesity-related diseases…

So who Jordyn Jones is doesn’t matter…who fucking cares…she’s got a rocking body…she shows off in ways she can pretend are wholesome….leaving me with questions…life changing questions like….where are the nudes…if we are all going to die…give us the damn nudes…before it is too late..

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