Kelly Brook Archives - Page 20 of 20 Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

2009

30

Mar

Kelly Brook in Her Bathing Suit of the Day

If you’re wondering why I am taking so long to post pictures, it’s because I paid a homeless dude 2 dollars to let me take a picture of his dick. I am now wondering if that makes me gay or not, but after lookin’ at these pictures of Kelly Brook, some UK model no one cares about, and her ridiculous tits, I realize, I’m definitely not, I just like exploiting the desperate, no matter what gender they are. Here she is in some staged bikini/bathing suit pics.

Posted in:Bathing Suit|Beach|Bikini|Kelly Brook

2009

06

Mar

Kelly Brook’s Tits in Yellow of the Day

5 Comments »

Who the fuck is Kelly Brook and why the fuck is she dressed like a fucking Easter Bunny, when we all know that it’s not fucking Easter, it’s still fucking winter and we’re not fucking celebrating the death of Jesus by eating fucking chocolate and hiding hard boiled eggs around the house for our asshole kids, and we’re not at fucking Church or bible camp, so you can wipe that smile off your face and stop celebrating how great your life is, because you really just look like my hangover piss with a set of tits….something that would probably make my hangover piss more fun to clean up off the walls, floor, bed, and everywhere else it ends up.

Posted in:cleavage|Kelly Brook|Tits|Yellow Dress

2009

05

Jan

Kelly Brook is Soft in a Bikini of the Day

11 Comments »

Kelly Brook’s out in a bikini and not that many other celebrities are, so I have no choice but to post her shit and I mean shit because there’s nothing I hate more than a sloppy soft lookin’ bitch. I don’t believe in the whole doughy body represents femininity, we don’t live in the late 1800s, where doughy meant she wasn’t a malnourished dying poor person who just ate her last potato, the kind of girl who wouldn’t die having your babies due to weakness, and big floppy tits aren’t enough to make me appreciate the shit, because with big tits comes big everything else and I am talking about her labia.

It seems like the world isn’t running out of doughy bitches, so those of you who like them should be happy. Just the other day I was waiting in line at a food court counter and this bitch cut the line in front of me because she claimed to be hypoglycemic and needed to eat before passing out, and proceeded to order a full sized pizza and a sugar-cured ham sandwich with extra mayo and no tomatoes or lettuce to get in the way of getting fatter. Not that has anything to do with Kelly Brook or her high waisted bikini bottoms designed to hide her gunt/muff gut/ ponch or whatever the fuck you call the bubble above the cunt or the fat in the upper pussy area.

Posted in:Bikini|Chubby|Kelly Brook|Soft

2009

02

Jan

Kelly Brook’s Bikini From a Couple Days Ago of the Day

2 Comments »

These pictures are a couple of days late and by the looks of her tits, so is her period, because the only explanation for tits that swell like the waves she is playing in, is “unwanted” pregnancy. I mean we can’t blame her, she’s on a romantic Holiday Season vacation with her boyfriend, it’s only natural to stop taking her pill a month prior to leaving on the romantic Holiday Season, because all she wanted for Christmas was a baby and he kept saying he wasn’t ready yet. I don’t really know what the fuck I am talking about, or who the fuck I am talking about because I can’t place this Kelly Brook bitch and I am too hungover to research the shit, but I do know she’s got some big ol’ tits and is on vacation with her boyfriend, so I just put 2 and 2 together, if you know what I mean.

On a sidenote…what a bad fucking post.

Posted in:Bikini|Kelly Brook

2008

14

Oct

Kelly Brook in a Bikini for Some Play Called Fat Pig of the Day

2 Comments »

Kelly Brook is some model who has gone to far and tried to make the move into acting, but the good news is that the directors of the play “Fat Pig” that’s going on in the UK, didn’t really take her seriously enough to give her a serious role and her acting on stage consists of her running around in a bikini. I don’t know if she has any dialogue and I hope she doesn’t, because it would really take away from what she’s good at, and throw the audience off, like the time I accidentally walked into a transexual bar and thought the girl I was talking to was a girl, until it’s tongue was halfway down my throat and it was too late to turn back because I didn’t want to hurt any feelings, but a little less psychologically abusive.

Posted in:Bikini|Kelly Brook

2008

14

Mar

Kelly Brook Shows Off Her Thong of the Day

1 Comment »

Here are some pictures of Kelly Brook out for lunch with her man Billy Zane and her thong is riding pretty fuckin’ high or her pants are riding pretty fuckin’ low. She reminds me of those trashy bitches I see at clubs in their 5 dollar pair of white tight pants or short skirt who deliberately jack their thong up like it’s some kind of fashion accessory, because I guess when you’re a slut, you’re underwear becomes the most expensive or luxurious part of your wardrobe and you want the world to know that you’re a new woman, who is wearing underwear that no matter how many drinks you buy her, she probably won’t suck your dick or let you take that underwear off with your mouth, unless you are the bartender. She is the kind of slut who goes to the tanning salon to get thong tan line because she thinks it’s sexy to look like she’s wearing a thong at all times by skin discoloration effects. All I know is that the real sluts out there aren’t wearing underwear, they are too busy shoving things inside their cunt. So despite Kelly Brook having been a half naked model we all want to fuck but settled with Billy Zane’s penis, she’s not an official slut, just a poser and here is her thong.

Posted in:Ass|Kelly Brook|Thong

2007

05

Nov

I am – Kelly Brook Promoting Her Lingerie of the Day

4 Comments »

The thing I find funny about Kelly Brook promoting her signature lingerie line is that she’s not wearing any of it at the launch, instead she’s standing with models who are uglier than her in the lingerie. It’s some kind of fat manager shit that you see in bars, where the hot girl surrounds herself with table scraps so all the motherfuckers come up to them because they are the prize in the group. I don’t really understand why hot girls are way more fucked up than ugly chicks, but I guess it’s worth the pain you go through, because fucking a hot chick is a hell of a lot more interesting to look at when fucking than an ugly chick, even if that ugly chick over-compensates by giving the best head in the fucking world, and the hot chick refuses to suck dick and just lies there like she’s getting her hair done, it’s some psychological shit that you can’t get with an ugly girl, where the entire time you’re giving yourself high fives in your head for landing such a dime because you know the best you should be getting is the ex heroin addict who works at your 24 hour convenience store but you somehow ran enough game to get the prize….and whenever you win it’s a fuckin celebration, but you wouldn’t know anything about that and either would I because I suck at life.