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Archive for the Kristin Cavallari Category

2008

20

Mar

Look Down Kristin Cavallari’s Shirt of the Day

Yesterday I got an email saying that Kristin Cavallari was suckin’ dick at 13 and today I got one that said:

Dear Jesus,

I read that post on Kristin Cavallari and her dick sucking in camp, I just wanted to let you know that I was one of the guys she sucked off at 13….that’s right…one of the guys. We used to all use her mouth as our own fucking masturbation tool, fuck using a hand when you have a willing girl with her mouth wide open. It made circle jerks so much fuckin’ better, because instead of cumming on the cracker, we’d just all cum in her mouth and the loser would have to snowball the bitch.

There was this one time I had her back of the head in my hand and I was just fuckin’ the shit out of her face and she slid her finger in my ass. At first I thought it was one of my camp buddies getting a little too close for comfort but then I realized it was Cavallari….now at 13 getting your ass fingered is some next level shit that only someone who had been molested would know how to do…so my theory is that she was molested but it was all worth it because she was phenomenal. The best I’ve ever had…oh and she’s a total squirter.

Take it easy man.

J.

That was kinda disturbing and I am going to assume that it’s not true……

Posted in:Kristin Cavallari

2008

19

Mar

Kristin Cavallari Gives Head at 13 of the Day

I got this email:

funny little fact- kristin cavallari taught me to give head on a flashlight at Camp Edwards in 2001 ( she went to my highschool, barrington high school, but then she got kicked out because she brought weed to school).

funnier fact- i’m drunk as fuck but fact number 1 is still true. i’ll send pics.

p.s. she’s actually a nice lil girl.. except for the fact that she was givin head at age 13

Firstly, I don’t trust any of my readers to have ever known anyone famous, let alone gone to the same camp as someone famous, but since Kristin Cavallari isn’t famous, I call this message FACT. There’s nothing wrong with a 13 year old giving head, unless it’s on you, you dirty old fuckin’ pervert. And there’s nothing wrong with her teaching her friends how to do it proper in camp, it’s kind of the rich girl way, along with developing an eating disorder, cocaine addiction and Paris Hilton attitude by the time they are 16….

It’s a whole new generation out there, I’ve heard about this young girl fucking shit on Oprah and I am jealous because when I was 13, the only head I was getting was the head on my root beer float….actually I was too poor for root beer floats, I just couldn’t figure out a joke for this. I am not very good at this blogging shit.

Posted in:Camp|Head|Kristin Cavallari

2008

07

Mar

Kristin Cavallari in a See Through Top of the Day

So Kristin Cavallari is the most recent victim of wearing a black shirt for high powered flashes and you can kind of make out her bra. I know this is a huge deal to you because that bra is so close to her tits that it’s pretty much touching her nipples and that’s something that you can’t even get to happen, even after introducing lots of alcohol and sedatives to your date.

That bra actually has a much better life than you have, not only does it get to play with her tits by tricking her into thinking it is a utility, but it also gets to spend the night on the floor after being ripped off by some dude and watch her get fucked from behind. I guess the realization that you are envious of a bra is a pretty depressing realization, but I think it’s inspirational because at least you know what you want out of life, even if it’ll never happen, but my bet is that there will be one old, ugly, useless bitch desperate enough to find you charming and she’ll let you play with her tits as long as you promise to give her a baby…

Posted in:Bra|Kristin Cavallari|See Through|Tits

2008

03

Mar

Kristin Cavallari and Her Beater Want Attention of the Day

Here are some pictures of useless Kristin Cavallari posing for the paparazzi in a beater. She took off her shirt specifically for them to get pictures of her tits because I guess she thinks she’s got it going on, or maybe she had a huge spaghetti sauce stain on her shirt and didn’t want the embarrassment of being made fun of for being a slob, which would have probably been a good distraction from her just being a useless piece of shit who offers the world nothing, not even something to jerk off to….

I was at a bar this past weekend and saw a girl who walked around like she thought she was some kind of model or some shit. She was tall and looked as good as anyone famous. I told her boyfriend that I think I could make her famous if she had that talent and instead of dude jumping on board thinkin’ it was a great opportunity for him to get his girl out there, he thought I was implying that I get here suckin’ dick on camera or some shit. I guess no matter how sincere and wholesome I try to be in helping people out, they still think I’m a fuckin’ pervert and being a nice guy got me punched in the head which teaches us all a lesson, never be nice to anyone, they are just going to think you’re trying to proposition their hot girlfriend into doing porn.

Posted in:Beater|Kristin Cavallari

2007

26

Sep

I am – Kristin Cavallari Bikini Pictures of the Day

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One of my readers just emailed me giving me shit for waking up at 2 pm. I guess I am living the life of a useless degenerate slob and I would be disgusted by myself if I was an outsider lookin’ in, but sleeping in until 2 pm is one of life’s luxuries when you don’t have a job. It’s like being a 15 year old all over again.

The reality is that I am a degenerate loser who is usless and a slob, but I didn’t wake up at 2 pm, but I could have if I wanted to because I am unemployed. I actually woke up at 8:30 and went downtown to watch girls in their work clothes walking around, rushing to get to their jobs, drinkin’ their morning coffees in the pinstripe skirts, talkin on their cellulars, smoking their cigarettes and the whole experience was like porno.

I like doing this every couple of days because it makes me happy to know that the world has changed so much that women have been taken out of the kitchen and dropped into the workforce. It breeds strong financially independent women who are either too busy to want to get locked down so they just have one-night stands over and over again because they think the Sex in the City dream is as glamourous as they made it out to be on TV, without realizing that it’s a TV show and real life doesn’t work like that, and that they are just sad lonely whores with respectable jobs that can afford to get their hair done, and nice enough clothes and a personal trainer so that men with money can try to seduce them by taking them out to fancy places, because even girls in their mid-20s are influenced by the media and once they do get locked down because they realize that TV lied to them and that they were miserable being independent whores but still want to keep focus on their career, that means the guy can stay home at let them pay their way….It’s a welcomed societal change. Until they leave you for a co-worker and you have to go on welfare.

Here are some bikini pictures of Kristin Cavallari on set, because her work clothes are a bikini…..but then again doing what she does isn’t really a work…it’s more like getting paid to have a good time while all you other fuckers are out working hard for a fraction of her money and based on the facial expressions she’s making, she’s a worse actor that my 5 year old neighbor who played Santa in his Christmas Pageant..and this movie will be worse than having to sit through his play even though he was more believable that role than this over exaggerated mess. Enjoy.


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Posted in:Bikini|Kristin Cavallari|Movie|Unsorted|Volleyball|Working

2007

26

Sep

I am – Kristin Cavallari Dressed Like a Slut of the Day

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Here are some Kirstin Cavallari pictures from the set of some movie she’s working on. Yeah, it’s hard to believe that she’s working on a movie but I can only assume it will be one of the shittiest movies ever made….

I went to a strip club recently and when I was there the girl was wearing a similar outfit to Cavallari’s. She was in cut off jean shorts and had a push up bikini top and she looked like she was pretty hot, until the clothes came off and I realized she was dumpy as fuck. I am not into discriminating bitches for being dumpy, because all pussy is worth at least lookin’ at, but when she got on stage she was a wreck of a performer. She kept tripping and falling all over herself. When she did her pole tricks she kept hitting her head on the ground and she almost kicked the dude I was with in the face. She got on all fours to do the booty bounce because it’s popular but couldn’t manage it and just looked like she was flexing her ass muscles and lookin at a flexed chick ass is one of the least sexy things out there. There was nothing hot about the performance and I laughed at least twice.

I like to think Kristin Cavallari is a lot like that stripper. She’s not that talented or good at what she does, but she doesn’t realize it and still gets on the screen for people to watch and laugh at, but when she’s sitting around in a push up bikini top and short cut off jean shorts, I got no problem lookin’ at her tits….


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Posted in:cleavage|Kristin Cavallari|Legs|Shorts|Slut|Tits|Unsorted