Kristin Cavallari Archives - Page 8 of 10 Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

2009

10

Sep

Kristin Cavallari Fucks John Mayer Shorts and a Bikini Top for a Bra of the Day

Wanna hear something you won’t give a fuck about, but I know because it was emailed to me by someone who either things I will give a fuck, or who is paid to spread the rumor around to raise this cunts public profile and that’s that she has been John Mayer’s fuck slut for over the last 2 years secretly, like that makes any fucking difference on my fucking life in any fucking way. If anything it makes me question humanity. Do normal people go to the water cooler and tell each other this incredible news like they are friends with either Kristin Cavallari or John Mayer? Do they call each other up and say shit like “OMG, Guess What? John Mayer banged Kristin Cavallari!! Isn’t that amazing!?!”…Who fucking cares, kill yourself, seriously. She’s a bitch from Laguna Beach….and now crawled her way onto the set of The Hills…aka a fucking nobody. Here she is showing off a bikini top.

Pics Via INF

Posted in:Bikini|Kristin Cavallari|Shorts

2009

04

Sep

Kristin Cavallari and Her Legs on the Beach of the Day

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I know it is the afternoon and I haven’t posted and that is because it is the long weekend and I know no one is online today and because I am hungover and woke up 15 minutes ago but I just wanted you to know I haven’t died yet.
I hate writing out Kristin Cavallari’s name because she spells her shit with an “i” and not an “e” and that’s just the kind of pretentious bullshit you’d expect out of her, you know having a generic fucking name but spelling it retarded to be different and I guess that’s got nothing to do with why I hate her, but it does have a lot to do with why I hate writing posts on her.
That said, she’s back on The Hills and I find it funny that she refused to do the spinoff show and for a few years tried to get a legit acting career while her friends got richer and richer and richer while she got rejected from role after role provided she even got auditions and in the end she had to decide whether to take the job at McDonald’s she’s qualified for thanks to her level of education/highschool diploma or to go back to The Hills and instead of saving fucking face she crawled back into the arms of MTV who paid her less than she was getting paid before while giving her the life lesson that once you are MTV, shit’s a life fuckin sentence….

Pics VIa PacificCoastNews

Posted in:Beach|Kristin Cavallari

2009

31

Aug

Kristin Cavallari in her Useless Bikini of the Day

4 Comments »

I haven’t figured out what is worse, the fact that Kristin Cavallari’s got enough of a career to justify the paparazzi releasing pictures of her, even if she’s paying them to take the pics, or the fact that I am writing about her. I am going to go that me writing about her is worse, because I have control over that shit and if I was a little more creative, I’d find better ways to occupy my time, like playing tennis, or board games, despite how embarassing both those things are to me, they are better than me giving this girl anymore attention or credit she deserves, meaning I will not praise her useless cunt or make fun of it, she’s a nobody and like most nobodies, I’ll just look, expose myself and move the fuck along.

PICS VIA FAME

Posted in:Beach|Bikini|Kristin Cavallari

2009

19

Aug

Tryin’ to Look Up Kristin Cavallari’s Skirt of the Day

1 Comment »

I guess the new place I am going to have to get my creep on is going to be at some luxurious pedicure spot because I didn’t realize that girls go to that shit in skirts and more importantly, I didn’t think that they sat with their feet propped up like they were acting all shy at a gyno exam. Unfortunately, chubby Kristin Cavallari the bottom feeding idiot who thought she was too good for The Hills only to come crawling back to The Hills like at least one of my ex girlfriends, but that only happened because she was an immigrant who developed a serious drug addiction and the guy she left me for beat the fuck out of her before dying of an overdose and she had no where else to sleep and figured my couch was a good halfway house, until waking up every night with my dick inside her uninvited. I figured if it is my couch its my business…but now I don’t have a couch anymore, everything is my disgusting wifes’, so I luckily don’t have all these complicated issues to deal with…..except when my wife tries to rape me when I am sitting on her couch and busts the same logic I used….

Either way, Here’s Hollywood’s kitchen garbage of a person getting her nails done and inspiring a whole lot of men to look twice when walking by the nail salon….

Posted in:Kristin Cavallari|Upskirt

2009

07

Aug

Kristin Cavallari is at the Beach and Not in a Bikini of the Day

4 Comments »

Wearing clothes to a beach is like wearing a condom during sex. It’s unfuckin natural. So I don’t know what this Kristin Cavallari chick is doing, other than fuckin’ up the natural life cycle of beaches. If anything she should be hiding her fucking face for crawling back to be on The Hills in the tailend of the show’s lifespan because her cunt ass tried to launch a legit career and shit didn’t work cuz she’s a bad case of inflated ego without the talent to back it up. Not that you care, if anything these pictures are designed to make you hate her more for not playin’ by the fuckin’ rules….it’s too there wasn’t someone on the beach to rip her clothes off of her, but I assume if they did the show producers and camera men who follow her everywhere she goes would step in…..making her a hard girl to rape.

Posted in:Beach|Kristin Cavallari

2009

16

Jul

Kristin Cavallari is Fucking Desperate of the Day

1 Comment »

I am pretty upset. My angle on this Kristin Cavallari chick was mocking the fact that she thought she was too good for The Hills after Laguna beach because she had an inflated ego and thought she’d get other work and not be typecast as the trashy rich kid on a shitty scripted show that is polluting our generation as pretty much the worst possible thing to come out of television in the history of television.

I just found out that she crawled back to MTV with her tail between her legs because she realized what a poor decision she made and is back on what we hope is the tail end of the show and since there is no future in the past and since I have no respect for girls who make these bold moves only to pathetically crawl back to the good thing they so emotionally and boldly walked away from. Not that I respect women. But you get what I mean. Cunts…

Here she is at some Malibu Beach House not wearing a bikini…but loving the attention she’s getting on her “Comeback” tour…that is almost as boring as her….

Posted in:Desperate|Kristin Cavallari

2009

10

Jun

Kristin Cavallari Does the Heather Graham of the Day

6 Comments »

Posted in:Kristin Cavallari|Ripped Dress

2009

04

Jun

Kristin Cavallari Legs of the Day

8 Comments »

I remember being at a restaurant and some girl looked at me, uncrossed her legs and pulled the Sharon Stone. Sure, maybe she was doing it to mock me. Maybe she didn’t even notice me and did it unitentional, because girls tend to not notice me, but it was pretty fuckingamazing.

It really only happened to me once in my life, even when I tried getting girls I was dating to pull their panties aside in public, I always got resistance, and it was never quite as hype as when it was an attractive enough stranger, so I’ve been looking it everytime I sit down and see a girl sitting at a nearby table with a skirt on. I believe one day, it will happen again, and that kind of hope is what keeps me going.

Here are some Kristin Cavallari pullin’ the tease, because she’s a good candidate, she just kinda failed at pulling through….

Posted in:Kristin Cavallari|Legs

2009

28

May

Kristin Cavallari is a Racist in Shorts of the Day

10 Comments »

I always knew Kristin Cavallari was a fucking racist, but I just can’t believe she’d generalize that all Mexican’s are drunks and jacked on Tequila who can’t support their families because they are lazy and unmotivated drunks jacked on Tequila. It offends me that her statement implies that we Mexicans are just illegal immigrants or second rate citizens who don’t belong in her country, unless we’re doing her fucking yard work to make enough money to buy ourselves fuckin’ Tequila instead of paying our rent for our shanty or saving for our kid’s college education.

This kind of ignorance makes me sick, but not as sick as the 8 shots of Tequila I did last night instead of working or spending time with my family did. Sure, I was a fucking pirate for a few hours, but now, I am officially dead.

Posted in:Kristin Cavallari|Racist

2009

01

May

Star Trek Premiere Pussy of the Day

1 Comment »

Star Trek is coming and I’m sure that means that you are too, because Star Trek was the only friend you had growing up. It was the one thing you really connected with and when the internet hit it allowed you to find like minded loser virgins who you could interact with and meet at conventions to hang out with and is really the only reason you ever got married, so in a lot of ways Star Trek, the reason you were such a loser growing up, is the same reason you got pussy in the first place….

Here’s a little Heidi Klum throwin’ up her Virgin Gang Signs….I think that is like the hybrid shocker for girls with fatty assholes…but I am usually wrong about that shit…

Here’s some bad space jokes and others who were at the event….Which is funny because when you used to throw you Star Trek parties the only person who showed up was your stuffed animals and kid sister. I guess they got paid the fuck off, you know trying to take the acne faced, asthmatic, red headed pre-conceived notions of the shit…..

Amanda Bynes was there cuz her legs are out of this world…..