Legs Archives - Page 17 of 22 Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

2007

27

Oct

I am – Blocked in Germany While Lohan Leaves Dance Studios of the Day

So it looks like the Germans are like Paypal and don’t like me very much.

it seems like the ISP AliceDSL (www.alice-dsl.de) blocked access to www.drunkenstepfather.com

Since a week a two, I am not able to access one of my favorite websites and it’s only your website. I can perfectly access it through anonymizers such as Tor or by using other ISPs but this certain ISP blocks access to Drunkenstepfather.com.

Maybe you want to investigate further or make it public somehow…

I thought German’s were into shitting on each other and beating each other up. I didn’t realize that they were still Nazis, only instead of hating the non-aryans and fags, they hate me. Here are some pictures of Lohan leaving some dance studio prepping for some tango movie, because she probably hates me too, even though I plan on knocking her off the wagon with my dick. It may be small, limp and useless but that just means it’ll take more effort.

Related Posts:

Lohan’s Hot Tits
Lohan’s Hot Tits Again
Lohan Brings the Sunshine into My Day
Lindsay Lohan Touching Her Toes

2007

25

Oct

I am – Laura Prepon Pregnancy Pictures of the Day

No Comments »

Image Removed due to Papparazzi

I am no expert on pregnancy. There was a time when I was trying to keep an ex girlfriend around and figured the best way was to knock her up, so every chance I got to accidentally creampie her, I would. It never worked. There was another girl who wanted me to settle down and she thought that having a baby with me was the solution, without thinking about the fact that I was a deadbeat and couldn’t even take care of myself, but being the asshole that I am and excited about the fact that a chick actually wanted to carry my baby, because that’s pretty much the number one compliment you can get from a girl, I decided to spend a month trying to knock her up, before realizing how insane I was being. Lucky for me, years of hard living had killed my sperm harder than it killed my liver.

Now I don’t know if Laura Prepon is actually knocked up, but she is at Starbucks, and where I live all the maternity leave women spend hours a day in Starbucks because they have nothing else to do with themselves and need to get out, so I can only assume that she didn’t just gain weight, and her horizontal stripes aren’t working against her, because that shit’s supposed to make you look fat, I predict this is the early stages of her being knocked up because sometimes letting dudes come inside you feels like the right thing to do, until you realize you forgot to take your birth control pill and that you morally are pro-life and can’t get an abortion, even though everyone’s doing it because condoms are a thing of the past.

Let’s just hope her John Goodman Lookin’ motherfucker that she’s talking to, isn’t the baby daddy, cuz if the baby gets that metabolism, her vagina may break.

Related Posts:

Laura Prepon See Through Shirt
Mila Kinis Bending Over in Shorts Cuz She’s Jackie
Demi Moore Nipples Because She’s Dating Ashton
Bijou Phillips Ass Flash Because She’s Dating Hyde

Posted in:Laura Prepon|Legs|Pregnant|Tits|Unsorted

2007

23

Oct

I am – Mariah Carey’s Cleavage of the Day

1 Comment »

I don’t see enough of Mariah Carey, I don’t mean that literally, because bitch is big enough to fill the frame as successfully as her late 90s career, I meant in general, where the fuck did she go and what the fuck’s she been up to since her psychological meltdown. Reality is that I don’t really care, I was never a fan of anything more than her big tits.

I was at a party on Saturday and there was a girl there who I know. She pulled out her camera to show me a picture of her crotch. She was wearing pantyhose and underwear over the pantyhose. I was confuse, because I was always under the impression that pantyhose doubled as underwear and that’s why they have that weird vagina protector and if you’re going to wear underwear with pantyhose, wouldn’t it only make sense to wear them under the pantyhose? I was pretty drunk so instead of asking her, I just pinned her against the wall, lifted up her skirt and dry humped her with my limp dick. She wasn’t really vibing on my “I get drunk and molest you” ways, but she shoulda been expecting it coming from me. Her boyfriend on the otherhand gave me a high five, or what I thought was a high five before it slammed me in the face and gave me a nose bleed. I guess the lesson of the day is that when getting drunk and molesting a chick with underwear over her pantyhose, make sure her boyfriend isn’t right next to her.

Either way, here is Mariah Carey rockin’ some tight dress, pantyhose and a pair of fuck me boots for all you losers who used to jerk off to her music videos before the internet was invented.

On Some TRL Shit….

On the Street….

Bonus: Mariah Carey’s Cleavage on the Today Show…Today…

Related Posts:

Mariah Carey’s Cleavage and Short Skirt Pictures
Mariah Carey’s Nipples Walk Her Dog
Mariah Carey in a White Bikini
Older Mariah Carey Upskirt Pictures

2007

23

Oct

I am – Mariah Carey's Cleavage of the Day

1 Comment »

I don’t see enough of Mariah Carey, I don’t mean that literally, because bitch is big enough to fill the frame as successfully as her late 90s career, I meant in general, where the fuck did she go and what the fuck’s she been up to since her psychological meltdown. Reality is that I don’t really care, I was never a fan of anything more than her big tits.

I was at a party on Saturday and there was a girl there who I know. She pulled out her camera to show me a picture of her crotch. She was wearing pantyhose and underwear over the pantyhose. I was confuse, because I was always under the impression that pantyhose doubled as underwear and that’s why they have that weird vagina protector and if you’re going to wear underwear with pantyhose, wouldn’t it only make sense to wear them under the pantyhose? I was pretty drunk so instead of asking her, I just pinned her against the wall, lifted up her skirt and dry humped her with my limp dick. She wasn’t really vibing on my “I get drunk and molest you” ways, but she shoulda been expecting it coming from me. Her boyfriend on the otherhand gave me a high five, or what I thought was a high five before it slammed me in the face and gave me a nose bleed. I guess the lesson of the day is that when getting drunk and molesting a chick with underwear over her pantyhose, make sure her boyfriend isn’t right next to her.

Either way, here is Mariah Carey rockin’ some tight dress, pantyhose and a pair of fuck me boots for all you losers who used to jerk off to her music videos before the internet was invented.

On Some TRL Shit….

On the Street….

Bonus: Mariah Carey’s Cleavage on the Today Show…Today…

Related Posts:

Mariah Carey’s Cleavage and Short Skirt Pictures
Mariah Carey’s Nipples Walk Her Dog
Mariah Carey in a White Bikini
Older Mariah Carey Upskirt Pictures

2007

23

Oct

I am – Chloe Sevigny Hiding Her Ugly Face of the Day

2 Comments »

I heard that Kids was actually a documentary and Chloe Sevingy really has AIDS or at least looks like she does. I am convinced that all hipsters have AIDS because they all bang the same people since the scene is small and the talent pool is limited and when all fucked up after partying all night, sex is good, even if your friend slammed the same chick 2 nights before, because without your friend, you would have met her or got her back to your place. He was your in.

The reality is that Kids scared the fuck out of a generation of teenagers in the mid-90s. Every girl and guy were rockin’ condoms because the movie made them think AIDS was everywhere and that kinda sucked when I was in a raw doggin mood, but at least I don’t have AIDS because of it. Kids today don’t have that kind of fear instilled in them and they grew up watching porn and unprotected sex is just the way it’s done. No one they knows has AIDS. They have seen their icons like Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian (hahaha) banging on tape without condoms and watch all those Hip Hop videos and shit turning them all into loose in the hipped sluts. So my prediction is that this “sexual revolution” where kids are fucking because they have the parts to fuck, without the knowledge to fuck well or fuck smart, is that everyone will have Aids in 10 years and people like Chloe Sevigny will be seen as leaders in the movement since she’s been had the germ since 95…or at least that’s what I heard because this bitch was an original new generation cocaine hipster in the New York fashion scene in the 90s and was banging people like Harmony Korine and Vincent Gallo because she’s so artistic. She was best friends with models and people in bands and useless Bijou Phillips trash and other rich kids on coke who pretend to know what’s up because they are glorified groupies of people who are actually doing things and because they are constantly looking for the next “cool” thing to spend their trust fund money on.

But the point is to say that I guess she deserves some credit for being a good enough actor that people didn’t realize how ugly she was because ugly people scare me and don’t deserve paparazzi following them..but at least she’s coming to terms with shit and boxing out her face so we don’t have to relive the tragedy that childhood car accident did to her face. I actually don’t know if there was actually a childhood accident, but it would only make sense if there was. On a positive side, at least she’s got some nice long legs, dresses like a clown and sucks unprotected dick badly in mainstream movies, because even with AIDS, condom blowjobs just don’t make sense to me. Cuddles.

Related Posts:

Chloe Sevingy In a Pink Dress
Chloe Sevigny Cocaine Hipster Riding Her Bike
Chloe Sevigny Completely Naked Picture

Posted in:Aids|Chloe Sevigny|Hipster|Legs|Unsorted

2007

22

Oct

I am – Gisele Rocks a Bikini of the Day

1 Comment »

I thing I like about Gisele is the mystery of whether she has a vagina or not. Bitch is from Brazil and everyone I talk to who knows anything about Brazil say they have the hottest lady-boys in the world and that you can’t even tell the difference and when drunk and in Brazil, who needs to tell the difference, especially if AIDS is your thing.

I used to know this fag who didn’t know he was a fag but was obsessed with Tranny porn, he claimed it wasn’t gay because he was only into lady-boys slamming chicks and not dudes slammin’ lady-boys up their lady-boy asses, so he was convinced shit was less gay than watching straight porn because the dude looked like a chick and it was more like hybrid lesbian porn with some chick with dick shit instead of a strap on but still 2 sets of tits and 1 dick, instead of that faggot ass straight porn you watch, because I know you’re not actually getting off to the chick getting fucked but to the porn dick. Fag.

Either way, bitch has some serious legs, and I guess even if they lead to a fat cock, I’d still have no choice but to watch her jerk off on my fatty man tits, because I have a thing for models.

Related Posts:

Gisele’s Got Some Fuckign Legs
Live Bloggin The Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show
Gisele Mountain Biking
Adriana Lima Vs. Airport Security

Posted in:Bikini|Gisele Bundchen|Legs|Tits|Unsorted

2007

15

Oct

I am – Hilary Duff Nipples and Stupid Tights of the Day

6 Comments »

Image Removed due to Papparazzi

Here are some pictures of Hilary Duff with some erect nipples in a stupid Jewish Outfit of the day, only she took some kind of slutty twist on it with some slutty tights under her slutty dress, but I am all about sluts because all girls are sluts and I am into vagina, so it works for me.

I realize that I am a little too abrasive when it comes to sluts because girls don’t like that I think they are all sluts. I was in the coffee shop talking to some gay dude about how all chicks love cocaine because they are insecure and it makes them feel good about themselves and that’s the same reason why they like male attention, because it’s some kind of empowering shit that makes them feel like they are worth something. So I start going off on this rant and this old feminist bitch next to me who is listening to me go off, gets up and in my face and starts yelling at me about how disgusting I am and how I am a woman hater. I told her that it’s the opposite, I actually love women and love the fact that they are sluts because otherwise I’d have nothing to jerk off to or on. Then I asked if her if she was into anal and she stormed off. I guess she tried it once and it hurt too much and hasn’t been able to get over that pain. Slut.

Here are those pictures of Hilary’s hard nipples, I love that she is trying to cover those fuckers up with whatever that Stuff by Duff in her hand is, like she doesn’t want us all lookin at her tits, even though I know deep down inside she loves the attention.

Related Posts:

Hilary Duff’s Wet and Has Hard Nipples Pictures
Lohan Hiding Her Fat Ass and Stomach in a Jewish Outfit
Mischa Barton in a Jewish Outfit
Lohan and Michelle Trachtenberg in a Jewish Outfit of the Day

2007

15

Oct

I am – Hayden Panettiere is a King of the Day

2 Comments »

The worst feeling you get as a fat man is when you’re at a restaurant or party and walk into the bathroom after someone takes a nasty fucking shit and when you walk out and the stink trails you and everyone in line automatically thinks you took the shit because you are fat and fat people are wrongfully accused of shitting a lot.

I was in a bar that had one bathroom the other night and there was a line-up of girls and guys waiting to go do blow in the bathroom and whoever was in there before me fucking gave birth to some weird smelling shit and I was fucking gagging while trying to piss. As soon as I walked out the 2 hottest girls in the place were next in line to go in and for the rest of the night they wouldn’t look at me without laughing or looking at me in disgust. I was the fat dude who takes stinky shits in public bathrooms when we’re out drinking, I guess I am the fat dude who stinks to a lot of people but reality is that I barely ever shit and that’s the reason I tell people that I am full of shit, literally, but no one ever believes me.

I know Hayden isn’t a fat man but she kinda looks like one and I have a feeling that this bird drops the nastiest smelling shits after drinking her luxurious coffees and reading stories to kids with a crown on, because I have a feeling she thinks she’s some kind of princess and she needs to be kicked off her fucking throne…with my dick.

Related Posts:

Hayden Panettiere Getting Out of Cars
Hayden Panettiere Takes Her Puppies on a Walk
Hayden Panettiere Buying a Thong
Hayden Panettiere With a Dirty Old Man

Posted in:Blue Dress|Hayden Panettiere|Legs|Reading|Unsorted

2007

11

Oct

I am – CariDee English in a Blue Dress of the Day

1 Comment »

The only reason I am posting these pictures of some useless funny-faced America’s Next Top Model winning reality TV star and aspiring model is because I read something hysterical on her WIKIPEDIA page.

CariDee stated during the cycle that she worked as a photographer before appearing on America’s Next Top Model. She has suffered from psoriasis for 15 years. and believed her dream of becoming a model was unattainable. However, a doctor recommended Raptiva, a drug that she still injects weekly in order to control the disease, and it has worked well for her skin, although a small patch still remains.

I guess it’s just one of those things that happens in life. The ugly chick in the back of the high school class with allergies, asthma, braces, glasses and a weight problem grows up to be some over-compensating hot chick, while the hot chick who had all the dudes and the biggest tits grows up to be the fat slob with kids and a husband who doesn’t want to fuck her…the formative years can really ruin a good thing, but on the flipside turn a damaged pile of shit with a rash into a rose….I am so deep.

I remember running on this kick many years back to fuck all the hot chicks who I wanted to fuck in highschool who became fat and busted because I assumed would be easy because they were craving that male-attention they once had in their prime….I was wrong. Even as fat chicks they wanted nothing to do with me, I guess that’s just the story of my life.

Related Posts:

America’s Next Top Model Melrose’s Tits Pictures
America’s Next Top Models are Naked
Tyra Banks and Some Bitch Playing With Their Tits

Posted in:America's Next Top Model|ANTM|CariDee English|Legs|Unsorted

2007

11

Oct

I am – Kate Moss and Some Simon and Garfunkle Motherfucker of the Day

4 Comments »

Last night I got to talking with a couple of guys from the park about how young girls are shitty in bed. They were telling me that they would never fuck anyone under 22 because 95% of people under 22 don’t know how to fuck and it’s too risky invest time into a chick trying to land the 5% of quality that’s out there. I told them that I would only fuck girls under 22 if I could because they have tighter bodies than girls who are older than 22 and all the girls I ever fucked were shitty in bed anyways because I used the date rape drug.

The dudes then went into how they used to bang models and that models are shit in bed no matter what age because models are too concerned with being pretty and well positioned to get on all fours and take it like a man…I mean…woman…. I didn’t agree, because the models I see are usually not all the hot or put together, they just clean up nicely for pictures but really like going out and getting fucked up, and drunk party sluts who are high always means a decent fuck that ends with her puking all over your chest because the first video I ever saw on a computer was two Asians in a bathtub puking on each other and since then it’s been a fetish or a curse…

Speaking of puking models, here’s Kate Moss with some chinless Simon and Garfunkle motherfucker who looks like he’s eating his face because I love Kate Moss and because we decided she’d be a good fuck while talkin’. What were you doing with your night? Don’t answer that because I don’t really care, I was just proving that I have way more stimulating and exciting nights than you because people actually talk to me. Cuddles.