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Archive for the Lydia Hearst Category

2009

01

Apr

My Internet Girlfriend Showing Off her Tits to An Event She Didn’t Invite Me To of the Day

I have an internet relationship with Lydia Hearst, at least I like to think it’s actually Lydia Hearst, because it validates that what I do is actually read, while Twitter reminds me everyday that no one gives a fuck about what I do or have to say, so I go off on long conversations about life, the weather, my relationship with my wife, how I got drunk and slapped a girl I don’t knows ass or paid that bum 2 dollars to flash me his dick, and she always comes through with a little LOL, or response that makes me feel like she cares, and I don’t even mind that it is actually some 45 year old motherfuckin’ weirdo, or 13 year old Indonesian chick who is a fan of Hearst who created a fake profile, and uploaded random Google Images, in a creepy way, is the person I am actually talking to, because that’s how lonely I am.

Here’s Lydia at an event she didn’t invite me to, showing off some tit, but not showing off some tit for me.

Posted in:Internet Girlfriend|Lydia Hearst

2009

25

Mar

Lydia Hearst Half Naked for Perfect Magazine of the Day

Lydia Hearst is a supermodel who has been getting a ton of exposure lately, and here she is in some hot photoshoot for some magazine called “Perfect” from another country that you probably won’t see here and like all good fashion magazines they tip toe on the fine line of porn and high fashion/art. A line that I wish I new how to balance on so that people take me serious. Unfortunately, everytime I pitch this fashion magazines my concept for a shoot, they ignore my email, mainly because the concept is always the same, Supermodel wearing nothing but my mouth for a bikini bottom, so I can taste what she was up to last night.

Either way, I love Lydia Hearst, mainly because she makes her own money, despite having been from a family where she probably never had a to work a day in her fucking life and that says a lot, because all the whores I meet when I sneak into those chachi bars, are mooches lookin’ for a guy to pay for their shit in exchange for getting to see them naked, with hopes that their futures involve sleeping, shopping and doing nothing all day, spending some asshole’s money, until someone better comes along. It’s like the people who should be ambitious just waste space and someone like Lydia, who could have been a useless socialite, gets naked in fucking magazines and pays her own fuckin’ rent.

I think she’s my Jennifer Hudson. That was a Dream Girl reference that was a little too obscure, I’ve been up since 8 in the fucking morning thanks to a dog who sleeps all fucking day, except at 7:30 in the fucking morning when I want to sleep, because letting me fucking sleep off my hangover is too hard for his back alley retarded pug brain to understand…and here are those pics.

Posted in:Half Naked|Lydia Hearst|Perfect

2008

12

Nov

Lydia Hearst Gets Naked for Magazines of the Day

So Lydia Hearst just won Best International Model or some shit and I love her. She is the heir to some old money empire that is seemingly being hit by the financial crisis because they just dropped their Teen Cosmo title or some shit because teenage girls already know everything they need to know about sex this generation and don’t need some magazine to guide them, so I am sure that had little impact on her trust fund that has been set up for her so that she’s set for life a bunch of time over…..but she still manages to keep things cool.

I don’t really give a fuck about her money, because money doesn’t impress me, ever. Sure I get excited when I find a 20 in my wife’s purse, but that’s just because I am a hurtbag and like beer, so having money just puts more pressure on a person to impress me by proving you aren’t vapid little attention craving whores like Paris Hilton because you can be, and instead go off and do things for yourself even though you don’t have to. Because if I was a trust fund kid, I’d be globetrotting, sipping cocktails by the pool an orchestrating insane stunts to entertain myself…..like building shit just to blow up, or shooting the hired help with random weapons, because I can….

Maybe she’s cool cuz her mom broke free from the empire and married her bodyguard after sympathizing with some kidnappin’ bank robbers a bunch of years ago or maybe it’s cuz some rich kids aren’t total cunts….but I do know that getting naked in magazines for the sake of “fashion” is not something she needs to be doing, but something she’s doing out of the kindness of her heart and not or the money. She wants to do it and seeing a girl naked cuz she wants to be not because she has to be is something refreshing after spending a few too many nights with whores who wanted to be anywhere but on my dick.

What it comes down to is that more girls need to take this giving approach, because showing me your tits doesn’t mean you need something in return and I am tired of not being able to afford lap dances and want them for free…. I am just waking up, give me a couple of hours to warm up….here’s Lydia Hearst and her tits…

Posted in:Lydia Hearst|Magazines|Naked

2008

05

Aug

Lydia Hearst and Aubrey O’Day Make Out of the Day

I have been having computer problems so I slept at a friend’s house after passing out there drunk last night because he said I could use his shit. It was a much needed vacation from the hell that is my living situation. I only woke up at 11:30 and my friend was watching Lydia Hearst and Tyson talking about underwear, because today is underwear day and she announced that she doesn’t wear underwear on national TV. Since she’s always been a sweetheart to me on facebook I decided to write her something about how hot I find it that she doesn’t wear underwear and I say these series of facebook status updates…..

Lydia seriously folks…. seeing isn’t believing… some things are just meant for the silver screen…12:54am

Lydia seriously folks…. seeing isn’t believing… some things are just meant for the silver screen…GOTCHA.5:24am

Lydia *NOTE: Last night was for a movie. Thank you to everyone who participated and sorry for those who were unaware of the staged scenes. See Fanpage for more info.6:00am

Lydia Sorry to all the photographers who were unaware that the lesbian scene was publicly staged for a movie; thanks for your participation. More info on my FanPage.11:38am

I didn’t realize what she was talking about, but came across the pics and decided to post them. I am all for girls making out with girls, even if it’s for a cry for attention or if it’s an attempt to make fun of Sam Ronson, Hearts’ trust fund rich kid buddy who went to high school with her and the rumor is that Sam Ronson took Lydia Hearsts’ Fiance to their high school Grad and Lydia Hearst is mad because it ruins their fairytale love story. There’s some scoop for you that you don’t give a fuck about.

The truth is that this is pretty fuckin’ weak making out, they aren’t even bumpin’ cunts and there’s no way this is for the “silver screen” or “staged” or “planned”, it’s just a dumb drunken stunt she’s trying to cover up.

I hate Danity Kane and I didn’t understand why a socialite who is richer than God would be hanging out with a member of a trashy reality TV created Band, but then I realized they were introduced by their hair dresser and sometimes it’s cool to hang out with poor people to feel better about yourself, the same reason why this guy I know throws quarters at homeless people, he feels like they are a good luck charm and give him karma points that will make him have a luckier, better day. Some kind of piss and shit covered, vomiting lucky charm that’s magically disgusting

I am hungover.

.

Posted in:Aubrey O'Day|Lydia Hearst

2008

29

May

Lydia Hearst’s Personal Sex in the City After Party Pics of the Day

I like to hate on Sex in the City as much as I can because I think it does bad thing to women as a species, but what I didn’t mention was the good things that it does to a woman as an individual and that is that it makes her horny and someone who puts out because the show programs them to think shit’s empowering. I remember being sucked into a Sex in the City party at some chick’s house about 10 years ago. I remember drinking beer while the host of the party made her fancy cocktails for her and her friends. By the end of the marathon, we were the only 2 people left at the party because there was still booze and I don’t leave a party until the last drop is consumed. Either way, the first chance bitch had, she jumped me like I was some successful, well dressed motherfucker, when in reality, I was just the only cock in the room. I ended up having unprotected sex with her where she asked me to finish on her face, and that is the shit that only comes when a girl watches sluts in Sex in the City and not sluts in porn. So if you’re a dude wanting to get laid, you gotta throw some Sex in the City parties, the only downside to that is that all the girls you invite will think you’re gay, but if you play it right, that non-threatening stance is key to having unprotected sex where she asks you to cum in her face.

Here are some pictures I stole from Facebook of Lydia Hearst at the Sex in the City Premiere afterparty and she may not fully be slutting out, but she definitely is giving us a whole lot of tongue and I hear that tongue is the gateway to unprotected sex that ends with you cumming on the sluts face.

Posted in:After Party|Lydia Hearst|Sex in the City|Slut

2008

28

May

Lydia Hearst in a Corset at the Sex in the City Premiere of the Day

Lydia Hearst was one of the lucky girls who got to go to the Sex in the CIty premiere. It could be because she’s a rich kid model, but I am thinking it’s probably because her family owns the rights to the show or maybe the theatre shit’s being shown in and it doesn’t matter. What does matter is that she’s wearing some lingerie as outerwear and saw something about how Sarah Jessica Parker was the first to make the bra a fashion item on this bullshit show, that I didn’t notice because I was too busy not looking at Sarah Jessica Parker because she’s fuckin’ ugly.

The problem with this show is that girls everywhere use it as some inspirational life coaching that they think represents real life. They think ignoring long term relationships and focusing on their careers while having random sexual encounters in some quest to find themselves will be fun and will all work out in the end for them because it does on the show. The truth is that the show was written by a fag and it’s his take on how women should be more like gays, because gays think their way is the right way, but the difference is that gays always find someone willing to fuck them because sex to gays is a primal need so long term relationships for them just don’t make sense, so as long as they are alive, they will always have someone to fuck. Women on the other hand age and if they aren’t locked down by a certain age, get replaced by younger models because dudes who like sluts tend to go for the better lookin’ ones because sluts are all about sex and not settling down and no one wants to marry a slut, we just like to fuck them, but not so much when they hit menopause, turning the slut into an old hag. So these successful women end up unhappy because they get stuck with losers because only losers would settle for a chick who’s had more cock than a chicken farmer.

That’s why watching these old slags slut out on their quest to find love while spending all their money on expensive shoes gives girls annoys me because I know it is ruining a generation of women by skewing their morals and values to one that leads to a miserable existence. The only good thing about this shit is that it confuses girls into thinking one night stands are empowering and that works for me because it makes getting in, doing the job and getting out a hell of a lot easier when the bitch doesn’t call back. Not that I’ve ever had a problem with having girls call me back, they usually are more into pretending shit never happened.

BONUS: Here are a couple of the washed up weathered cunts that women everywhere turn to as their independent woman inspirational leaders

Posted in:Corset|Lydia Hearst

2008

21

May

Lydia Hearst in Lingerie at Some Event of the Day

Lydia Hearst was at some event and she was paid to wear this outfit like some kind of fetish model only a lot more classy because she’s a billionaire and not just some overweight girl from high school looking for male attention and the only way she can get it is by squeezing her fat ass into PVC while pretending she’s Betty Page or some shit.

I am more into naked than underwear because I am not one of those fags who likes leaving things to the imagination, I like it served on a plate and looking at her in underwear and trying to visualize what her pussy looks like is a pain in the ass because I know I’ll never actually see what her pussy looks like, so why fuckin’ bother. Lingerie is boring.

The only time I get excited now is when I see my wife in her everyday clothes, because it is a lot better than seeing her naked, something she’s become fond of because clothes are too constricting on her fat ass, but not as excited as seeing the trashy pregnant chick in a belly shirt and short shorts smoking a cigarette I saw turning tricks yesterday, she may not be a heiress but at least she gives me the time of day when I talk to her and by talk to her I mean when I let her suck my dick.

Posted in:Lingerie|Lydia Hearst

2008

15

May

Michelle Trachtenberg Shouldn’t Hang With Skinny Girls of the Day

Michelle Trachtenberg went to some Nylon event because she’s got nothing better to do with her time that hang out with a bunch of self-proclaimed fashionistas at their magazine party, but she made the mistake of showing up with Billionaire Lydia Hearst because next to skinny Lydia Hearst, Michelle Trachtenberg looks like some kind of monster. Her enitre body, from face to thick angles looks like she lost a mud wrestling match with elephantism, but I’m not doctor, I could be wrong.

I kinda have a soft spot in my heart for Lydia Hearst. We became facebook friends and she was always nice enough to answer me up until recently. I tried to convince her to buy my site off me because I can’t afford to pay the servers or to license pictures and thought she had lots of excess money from her greatgrandfather’s media empire, but she didn’t bite, so if the site gets shut down, you know who is resposible for it.

BONUS: Lydia Hearst at Some Other Event Showin’ Some Tit

Posted in:Fat|Lydia Hearst|Michelle Trachtenberg|Skinny

2007

28

Nov

I am – Lydia Hearst is Does Puma of the Day

lydia_hearst_model_top.jpg

So Lydia Hearst is a model and an heiress to a huge media company and she’s dating Cisco Adler. That’s all you need to know about her because that’s pretty much all there is to her. I think the miracle in this whole situation is how she landed a modeling contract and by miracle I mean having a rich important family to hook her up, because sure she’s tall and skinny and I’d totally invite her to my birthday party, but in these pictures her face scares the fuck out of me.

Some girl decided to add me to AIM to ask why I am a woman hater. I tried to convince her that I love girls and they fascinate me and that I just talk about chicks because they are all crazy and make for good content, but she’s not buying it. She’s convinced that I judge women and I write mean things about them because I hate them and because she’s clearly oversensitive. I am sure I write mean things about everyone, I try not to discriminate against hating on anything. I’m politically correct like that. I know I’ve offended Jews for saying Jewish women look like men and that they are all smoke and mirrors, Black People, Natives, Non Status Natives, Gay People, Chachi Motherfuckers and their Magnum’s of Goose, DJ AM, Hispanics who I call Mexican when really they are from South America or Central America, Rich Kids, Brown People because I called someone Shit Stained the other day, go through the archives, I hate on a lot of things.

The reality of the whole woman hating conversation is that she sent me a picture of her ass and I told her I can’t tell if it’s hot or not, so as predicted she sent me another picture of her ass, and said that I still couldn’t tell with the angle, so she took a third picture of her ass and sent it to me and I said that I wanted to be homies with it, give it a high five and take it out for ice cream and she went on this rampage because I made her feel insecure.

What it comes down to is that I hate stupidity more than I hate gender and I hate myself more than I hate stupidity. On that happy note, here’s Lydia Hearst Rockin’ out for PUMA…..


Related Posts:

Lydia Hearst Showing Some Tit
Gemma Ward is a Model I’d Marry
Jessica Stam is a Model with a Mustache

Posted in:Lydia Hearst|Puma|Unsorted

2006

11

Sep

I am – Lydia Hearst Shows Tit of the Day

lydiahearstTOP.jpg

The Hearst family is rock and roll, motherfuckers own Broadcast.com, A & E, ESPN. They own Oprah’s magazine “O” and Cosmo and Harper’s Bazaar. They own Seventeen Magazine, Drugstore.com and the world reknowned Midland Reporter. That was a joke, cuz it’s some pussy-shit newspaper that’s on their roster, I was trying to be funny, which never really works out for me. If you’re wondering what pussy-shit is, it’s what’s left on your bed after you bang a girl. Oh wait, I forgot, you’ve never banged a girl so you wouldn’t know what that is. I unfortunately don’t bang women either, because of a penal problem, and I am not talking “Prison-System”. I do know what pussy-shit is because my wife is a dripper even when she’s not getting serviced/turned on aka eating donuts. I think her hormones are all fucked up from the obesity. Either way, Lydia Hearst is a Ford Model and Patty Hearst’s daughter with her bodyguard. Patty Hearst is William Randolph Hearst’s granddaughter, she’s also robbed a bank with people who kidnapped her in the ’70s. William Randolph Hearst founded the Hearst Media Empire and they make about 5 BILLION dollars a year. This bitch Lydia is slated to inherit a chunk of that a these are her tits. If you wonder why I know all this Hearst shit, it’s simple, they seem to buy shitty websites, and I have a shitty website. I want to sell this site to them for 1,000,000 dollars, even though this bitch roles with jiggaboos….yeah that was a racist comment, I think you should start sending me hate mail now.

Posted in:Lydia Hearst|Uncategorized|Unsorted