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Archive for the Mischa Barton Category

2009

04

Mar

Some Mischa Barton Stolen Party Pics of the Day

2 Comments »

I figured I’d dig into my rich LA kid vault and pull up recent pictures of Mischa Barton partying, because they are her friends. I’m talking kids from really rich producers, owners of TV stations, record executives, who all moved to New York together after graduating high school together, to live the bohemian independent life in the Lower East side, all funded by daddy and mommy or grandpa. You know where they live in artist lofts, pretend to be artists, do drugs and party to waste time with each other, only to fly back home on weekends on their private jets to have their maids do their laundry, or to party with their friend who hasn’t made the move yet, or their cross-country lover, they have so they can ichat and be emo about. They are like hipsters only they aren’t poor, they just latch onto whatever the next big thing and ride it out motherfucker until something more interesting comes along, and I’m not hating, who really gives a fuck, at this point everyone’s got a better life than me, so I’ve come to terms with my shit, as Mischa Barton slowly sinks deeper and deeper into shit, at least when she goes broke, she’ll be able to call on them to bail her out. Good planning….


UPDATE:
The rest of the pictures are here, they got leaked 3 weeks ago and I just don’t pay much attention, good times…
GO

Posted in:Mischa Barton|Parties

2009

23

Feb

Mishca Barton is a Hipster Slut in FHM of the Day

6 Comments »

Here’s an over glorified American Apparel model, also known as Mischa Barton, hanging onto her career as hard as she can cause her management or PR people dropped her and she needs to survive by taking off her clothes…the way I like it.

What I don’t like is this fucking hipster trash, it’s taking over the mainstream, it is everywhere I fucking look, from Lady Gaga to fucking Sharon Stone. There are so many insecure fuckers, trying to be on top of the latest fashion craze or music craze all while sucking up to each other and reassuring each other that being as annoying and outrageous as possible will help people forget that 2 years ago they were listening to Britney Spears and wearing The Gap and Juicy Couture like they were Paris Hilton, because at the time it was the cool thing to do. Fucking shapeshifting assholes.

It is all so fucking contrived, but I guess all it takes is sucking up or sucking off to be make it in the world, so get fucking cracking cause I made the mistake of telling everyone to fuck themselves and I sleep on a shit stained box spring, not a life I’d recommend for anyone.

Bonus that’s not really a bonus, DJ AM’s social climbing record carrying, unattractive whore of a girlfriend is an American Apparel Model because she’s not hot enough to be a real model and here she is leaving some exclusive party he DJed at and she got into because she’s fucking him, when otherwise she’d be drinking pitchers of beer with kids in skinny jeans and flannel shirts as they count their trust fund change to buy some blow or some shit…

Posted in:American Apparel|FHM|Hipster|Mischa Barton

2009

29

Jan

Some Mischa Barton Fashion Show Upskirt of the Day

1 Comment »

I don’t consider Mischa Barton a celebrity, she’s more of a rich girl who happened to be on a TV show who is trying to be the New York fashionista socialite. You know the kind of girl who buys expensive clothes, smokes cigarettes in lofts and boutique hotels, dates dudes in bands and travels the world going to every fashion show she can all while hanging out with obscure models and I guess there’s really nothing bad about that life at all.

I mean other than the fact that she can’t find work, is slowly fading and is seen as more and more irrelevant, and more and more unattractive as the years of cocaine use add up, and is desperately trying to get any attention she can, but next time around she should be a little more liberal and show us her dirty bush we all know she has because all fashionistas and models have bush, they may be into Obama politically, but not when it comes to trying to relive the glamourous art scene of the late 60s and early 70s, it’s their hipster way to let the world know they are different than all those other plastic bitches with bikini waxes, because they embrace being dirty fucking hippies with no fucking job who have pussies that smell like mud, gravel and rotting vegetables/organic matter in their very own compost heap in their underwear….or some shit.

Posted in:Mischa Barton|Panties|Paris Fashion Week

2009

08

Jan

Mischa Barton in a Bikini in Goa of the Day

10 Comments »

Sloppy Mischa Barton was in Goa for her Christmas vacation. All I know about Goa is that in the 90s, there was a group of hippie ravers in fur pants who used to get high and massage each other listening to Goa trance. Their dreams beyond being at one with the music and dancing in a sweaty disgusting mess into the afternoon, was to go to Goa for these crazy hippie parties on the beach under the moon, well it looks like Mischa Barton is living their dream, while they are being treated for anxiety issues that comes from too much ecstasy use 10 years after the fact….

I pulled this from her blog:

Here are some photos from my Christmas vacation in Goa.  The ocean there was so beautiful and warm I didn’t want to get out.  I would swim all day, ate mostly a vegetarian diet and bought some beautiful things from the vendors I bargained with — jewelry, saris, you name it.

I am pretty sure that this wasn’t written by Mischa Barton, but whoever wrote it is just as fucking boring as her, so I guess that means they are doing a good job. I feel like I am reading a sixth grade summer vacation re-cap assignment, like I do sometimes and I am pretty offended bitch didn’t pay retail for the jewelry, saris you name it. You know she can afford to pay the US dollar to feed the vendor’s family for a fucking week in exchange for their fucking smut they are peddling, but bitch had to jew out and negotiate. That offends me. But surprisingly, she was well received, probably because her ass looks like Sag Paneer .

Too bad she wasn’t in Mumbai a couple weeks ago, if you know what I mean. Here are her photoshop retouched bikini pics she released for attention….Nice head piece, looks like you’re really embracing the culture, you fucking cunt.

Posted in:Bikini|Mischa Barton

2008

24

Nov

Mischa Barton in Deserts With Dolphins of the Day

34 Comments »

The only time I have ever really watched the nature channel was when I wanted the Kim Kardashian sex tape, so I am not an expert on anything animal related, but I have a feeling that Dolphins are not native to Dubai, you know considering it’s a fucking desert, but somehow Mischa Barton managed to land a publicity gig by showing up to the opening of some 10 Star Hotel that just opened in Dubai called the Atlantis, or maybe she’s just been hired to feed and care for the Dolphins, because these Arabs pay better than Hollywood, especially when Hollywood isn’t giving you any work.

Either way, as she hugs this confused animal, you know trying to figure out how he ended up being stared at by a group of pajama wearing rich dudes in sandals, when just a few months ago he was doing tricks in the wake of yachts in the Caribbean, so despite needing the money badly, she’s pretty much supporting animal captivity and only animal she should be concerned about keeping captive is that pussy of hers, because people like her are so useless that they have no business livin’ so by association, either do anything they spawn in their womb and not some corporation’s idea of what rich people want to see when spending 1000 dollars a night in the most happening city in the world that has no business having wild animal attractions for their guests. It’s the kind of novelty with animal shit that made Michael Jackon’s Neverland ranch the dream vacation for 10-13 year old boys and we all know what that did to that Culkin kids self esteem….

Bad joke? It’s pretty much the story of my life and you’re invited for the ride.

Posted in:Atlantis|Dubai|Mischa Barton

2008

04

Nov

Mischa Barton is Getting Fat in Tight Jeans of the Day

16 Comments »

Like a bored housewife, depressed about where her life has gone and how her fairy tale wedding and dreams of a prosperous, happy, romanticized life didn’t really work out for her, trying to squeeze into her wedding dress to commit suicide in, not being able to fit one leg past where her waist once was, because she had given up long before actually deciding to end the pain that tuesday morning while the unappreciative kids are at school and the detached husband who resents her for not being the girl he married is at work, making the whole scene all that more sad to watch through binoculars from the next door window, you know with the whole breaking down and not following through with her earlier plan, because killing yourself next to your dress just doesn’t have the same dramatic effect she was aiming for, to have at least one thing you’d read in a classic love story happen to her in her life, Mischa Barton and her recent weight gain are fighting with her jeans….because I guess food and booze is the only substance that can distract her for her dying career….and here are the pics.

Posted in:Fat|Mischa Barton

2008

15

Oct

Mischa Barton Does Beer of the Day

6 Comments »

If you’re wondering how Mischa Barton keeps her luxurious legs and by luxurious I mean sloppy as fuck, which may have been a sign of wealth in a time of famine and poverty (no, not last week), here’s your answer, Beer. Beer is also the way I keep my appealing figure, and by appealing I mean fat and really only appealing to my neighbor who thinks he was a hot air balloon operator because he is crazy and I remind him of a time when his craft was relevant as he tries to figure out a way to paint a pattern on my stomach and tie a basket to my legs and have me carry him into the sky, which always ends up in me calling the police or filing complaints with my landlord….

Posted in:Beer|Mischa Barton

2008

19

Sep

Mischa Barton’s Tit Falls Out of Her Dress Again of the Day

4 Comments »

Mischa Barton is still throwing her tits out all over the motherfuckin’ place, even though they aren’t that big, or fake and I can only assume it’s a cry for attention after being dropped by her management a few months ago, but maybe it’s just part of her drunken and drug addicted downfall because she just realized that she banged Cisco Adler and her new boyfriend is a gay using her to get attention who refuses to fuck her and everytime she climbs up on his lap for a good time, he asks her if they can do it later because he’s trying to learn a new dance move or some shit. Either way, she’s still bustin out of her shirt as best as she can and that’s why I am posting her big ol’ nipple, while thinking of her hottest scene to date as the puking dead chick under the bed in the Sixth Sense.

Posted in:Mischa Barton|Tit

2008

18

Sep

Mischa Barton’s Tit Slip of the Day

5 Comments »

Mischa Barton let her tit fall out of her dress in a desperate attempt for people to remember she still exists, like the time I cried for attention by checking myself into a mental institution hoping my wife would come after me feeling sorry for me and changing her attitude towards me as being this deadbeat, but instead see me as the victim I am and give me more spending money and less headaches, making her believe that her obesity and cunt behavior led me to a mental institution making her open her eyes and make some changes that benefit me, but the plan backfired when she ignored the calls to come visit me, and check me out and without knowing the paperwork and procedure involved in mental institutions it turns out that once you commit yourself, even as a joke, it’s pretty fuckin’ hard to get yourself out of there. You try to rationalize with the staff and they just hand you more pills thinking you are relapsing or some shit and about 3 weeks later my wife finally came to get me, thinking she had taught me a lesson, when all she really did was help me devlop an addiction to brain drugs and a friendship with some psycho who would play chess with himself then try ripping his eyes out of his head, but here I am today writing about Mischa Barton’s tit slip, so I guess it wasn’t all that bad.

Posted in:Mischa Barton|Tit Slip

2008

20

Aug

Mischa Barton at Some Party of the Day

5 Comments »

So I was emailed this picture and had no idea who the fuck I was looking at, so I sent it to my favorite celebrity pervert who loves all these bitches and keeps folders on his computer with all their pictures, he immediately told me it was Mischa Barton and I was immediately reminded that I am fucking retarded because I’ve been doing this celebrity focused website for 4 years and I still can’t recognize a celebrity for the life of me because I just don’t give a fuck about them. I guess that doesn’t matter….

What does matter is that she’s at what I assume is a themed party, because if I see a dude who is clearly a rich kid hanging with a celebrity, in a straw hat and overalls with no shirt on, I fuckin’ hope shit’s a theme party and not some kind of new fashion trend that I’ll have to see on the fuckin’ street like that Ed Hardy shit. I guess Mischa looks alright because she’s covering up that sloppy fuckin’ body, but it would still be a better picture if they traded outfits, but that’s just because I like seeing dudes in dresses, I am weird like that.

Picture Via COBRASNAKE

Posted in:Mischa Barton|Party