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Archive for the Naked Category

2007

25

Jul

I am – Throwback Naked Playmate of the Day

Kathy Lloyd

A couple months ago I was crashing on my friend’s couch along with her at her mom’s apartment. Every morning we would take the dogs out to the park to pee and hump each other (the dogs, not us). One morning we noticed a homeless dude passed out in the bushes. One of the dogs ran off, and when it came back, it was covered in hot, wet homeless shit. We freak out. The other dog starts going nuts and fucking this human shit-covered dog. We call her mom and she says to take them to Petco (I was thinking bullets were a better idea).

We leash the bitches up (they are lesbian dogs) and start the 12 block treck to Petco. It’s morning rush hour, the sidewalks are packed, and our two human-diarrhea dogs are rubbing up against people on their way to work. We get to Petco, and the groomer was like, “Holy fuck.”

Two hours later the dogs came back with ribbons and smelling like roses. You know what probably doesn’t smell like roses? Former playmate Kathy Lloyd’s pussy now. These are some old naked picks of her from, Hell, i dunno, the ’80s? ’90s? She probably has peices of Heffner all stuck and rotting up in her vagina. But she was naked then, so I present her to you now. Go masterbate.

Obediently yours,
Sugar Nell (ex-hooker, friend of Jesus)

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I am â€“ Kristine Lefebvre Playboy Pictures of the Day
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I am â€“ Nell McAndrew In Fitness Gear of the Day
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Posted in:Kathy Lloyd|Naked|Playboy|Playmate|Tits|Uncategorized|Unsorted

2007

16

Jul

I am – Diane Kruger Naked of the Day

Diane Kruger Naked

This is Diane Kruger, German actress famous for playing Helen in “Troy” and also for being in “National Treasure,” which is for some godforsaken reason filming a sequel in London right now. She kind of looks like a pin-up for the Hitler Youth in these pix, well, being German and all.

I used to get her confused with Sienna Miller in 2004, but then Miller shacked up with Jude Law, got traded in for the Nanny, making herself a name. I don’t know when these were taken, but Diane Kruger is naked, so have fun jerking off to Helen of Troy.

About a year ago, I had one of those experiences where I felt like fucking Helen of Troy for 20 minutes when I scored the hottest guy in an exclusive new bar. I stalked and slithered up to him, we sealed the deal on the dance floor. I was looking for love in all the wrong places, but this felt right, because it was raining like crazy as we ran off to his apartment, like something out of a Doris Day movie. All wet, we strolled into his marble floored building, then got down to business. As he spent ONE minute releasing his load, i wondered why there was only a bed and lamp in the huge apartment. Finally he rolled off me and bolted for the shower. Like, what? I don’t have ‘ex-hooker’ tatooted on my vulva and I don’t have any diseases (miraculously) and the trojan was involved, so what was that about? As he scrubbed himself down, I dressed myself, unsatisfied (because, come on, 1 minute, even Jesus at the end of his prime was better than that). As I pulled on my wet jeans, i put two and two together… like probably this wasn’t his apartment, and he was the broker or something, and had OCD about cleanliness, becuase when i was a hooker, I was all about perfect hygeine, and still am.

That manwhore left me feeling dirty and used because this time it wasn’t for survival or pay, it was for the moment, and asswipe treated me like a dumpster slut. I bet Diane Kruger has never been treated as if “ex-hooker” was tatooted across her forehead, but i bet Sienna Miller has. though.

Obediently yours,

Sugar Nell (ex-hooker, friend of Jesus)

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I am â€“ Amanda Beard Signing Playboy Photos of the Day
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I am â€“ Lohan Bikini Nipple Slip of the Day
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Posted in:Diane Kruger|Naked|Tits|Unsorted

2007

29

Jun

I am – Nick Lachey and Vanessa Minnillo Naked of the Day

These pictures were taken by photo agency FAME and they are of Nick Lachey and Vanessa Minnillo naked. Unfortunately the fuckers sold the picture to Life & Style magazine and the uncensored version hasn’t hit the internet yet. I emailed x17 asking them to send me the unedited version, which could have been a mistake since those fuckers hate me and sites like me and sue all of our asses as often as they have to to protect their really lucrative, yet sleazy business of taking pictures of celebrities naked. The reason I am posting these is in hopes that one of my 12 readers, that means you, works at this magazine and has a copy of the original.

I always was fascinated with pubic hair and pussy and always wanted to know what bitch is rockin’. I remember when I was in school I used to ask all the girls to tell me about their pubic hair. I’d want to know what color shit was, I wanted to know how shit was maintained, was it bald, was it rectangular, was it triangular, was it dealt with by using scissors, wax, Nair or a razor or was it full blown bush. I never got kicked out of school for sexual harassment, only because it was a different era, no one ever complained and the teachers were probably just as into the shit I was doing and the information i was trying to get as I was, that’s why they were highschool teachers and didn’t have real jobs.

If that happened today, I probably would have never finished the ninth grade. They would have kicked me out and sent me to therapy or an all boys school or some shit good thing they didn’t because an all boy’s school would have given me little information for my autobiography that I will never write that is going to be called Life as a Pervert.

If you’re bored find me a contact at this agency…

Posted in:Bush|Naked|Nick Lachey|Pussy|Tits|Unsorted|Vanessa Minnillo

2007

04

May

I am – Kristine Lefebvre Playboy Pictures of the Day

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Here are the Kristine Lefebvre June Playboy pics. Bitch is an Apprentice chick who probably had the time of her life on the show, because people actually gave a shit about her for once in her life, and then it all ended when the she got kicked off. She’s probably been to auditions in attempt to get into the public eye again, but nothing worked out, so she went to Playboy, who will pretty much do a spread on anyone who has been on any TV show, including that fat slut from Wilson Philips. Either way, this cry for attention and attempt at fame may just be the kick in the ass this girl needs. It did work for Pamela Anderson….

Playboy always runs after me when I post their shit, so I am not really going to bother uploading them all only to have them all taken down, not to mention I am pretty slow on stories and you have probably already seen all of these, I am just posting them in case you haven’t. I am nice like that….and these pictures are pretty fucking boring. I have seen sexier shit go down and the Old Folks home I used to work at and based on her prison tattoos, I can only assume this isn’t the first time slut’s been topless on camera before…

Apprentice Contestant Kristine Lefebvre Playboy Pics
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Posted in:Kristine Lefebvre|Naked|Playboy|Reality TV|Unsorted

2006

02

Feb

Penelope Cruz Yellow Bikini

I like when the Paparazzi take pictures of celebrities on the beach, during their vacations. They deserve it, considering an Actor’s life is a fuckin’ vacation. Try working in a factory you motherfuckers, an entire life to just pay the fuckin’ rent, while you sip your cocktails, play on your cell phones and order around some local slave you hired. Point of the story is I like that Penelope’s boyfriend dresses like he’s homeless and is still recognized as one of people’s most beautiful people. If you’re wondering why I know that, my fat wife like to read magazines and recite the whole motherfucker to me when I am cornered, and forced to talk to her. Either way, here are some of the bikini pics all the loser celebrity bloggers will be posting, remember you got it here first. I am watching phone sex infomercials. My life is fucking complete. Fuck you.

Posted in:Bikini|Body|Naked|Penelope Cruz|Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

01

Feb

Giorgia Palmas in Bikini

I don’t like Italians only because of their gay little vespa scooters. That shit is so fucking homo that I can taste the cock while walking by the Vespa store near my my house. If you are wondering why I know what cock tastes like, it’s cuz I spent some time in prison. Either way, this bitch is some kinda famous in Italy – I don’t know what she does or how she does it, but I got no problem lookin at her ass while she’s doing it.

Posted in:Bikini|Giorgia Palmas|Italian|Naked|Unsorted