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Archive for the Naked Category

2008

20

Nov

Bianca Gascoigne Gets Naked For NUTS of the Day

Bianca Gascogine is the stepdaughter of some famous Footballer and outed him for abusing her mother forcing him to disown her even though his sperm didnâ€™t make her but his wallen bank rolled her. She was on some reality TV show in the UK and admitted she has breast implants and was scared that her drunken outburst ruined her chances at a career after the show without considering the fact that she has no talent and never really had the chance to have a career after the show….but then I came across these recent pictures of her topless in NUTS Magazine, I’m sure not the first time she’s got topless for nuts, in fact, she’s probably only topless in NUTS because she got topless for the right nuts after being a drunken mess at a bar, not that being in NUTS is a sign of this fabled career she dreamt of having when back in denial of being a party slut whore actually happening, but it is a sign that she’ll get naked for money and exposure and that will lead to only one thing and that is video of her getting fucked that I’d watch, because unlike the 1000s of men who have experienced her pussy first hand, it’s the only way I’ll be able to ever know what her pussy looks like when it quivers….

Posted in:Bianca Gascoigne|Naked|Nuts

2008

12

Nov

Lydia Hearst Gets Naked for Magazines of the Day

So Lydia Hearst just won Best International Model or some shit and I love her. She is the heir to some old money empire that is seemingly being hit by the financial crisis because they just dropped their Teen Cosmo title or some shit because teenage girls already know everything they need to know about sex this generation and don’t need some magazine to guide them, so I am sure that had little impact on her trust fund that has been set up for her so that she’s set for life a bunch of time over…..but she still manages to keep things cool.

I don’t really give a fuck about her money, because money doesn’t impress me, ever. Sure I get excited when I find a 20 in my wife’s purse, but that’s just because I am a hurtbag and like beer, so having money just puts more pressure on a person to impress me by proving you aren’t vapid little attention craving whores like Paris Hilton because you can be, and instead go off and do things for yourself even though you don’t have to. Because if I was a trust fund kid, I’d be globetrotting, sipping cocktails by the pool an orchestrating insane stunts to entertain myself…..like building shit just to blow up, or shooting the hired help with random weapons, because I can….

Maybe she’s cool cuz her mom broke free from the empire and married her bodyguard after sympathizing with some kidnappin’ bank robbers a bunch of years ago or maybe it’s cuz some rich kids aren’t total cunts….but I do know that getting naked in magazines for the sake of “fashion” is not something she needs to be doing, but something she’s doing out of the kindness of her heart and not or the money. She wants to do it and seeing a girl naked cuz she wants to be not because she has to be is something refreshing after spending a few too many nights with whores who wanted to be anywhere but on my dick.

What it comes down to is that more girls need to take this giving approach, because showing me your tits doesn’t mean you need something in return and I am tired of not being able to afford lap dances and want them for free…. I am just waking up, give me a couple of hours to warm up….here’s Lydia Hearst and her tits…

Posted in:Lydia Hearst|Magazines|Naked

2008

16

Sep

Mary Louise Parker is Naked in Weeds of the Day

I was at a friend’s house last night watching David Letterman, not because I love late night TV or because I am a fan of any of the hosts of talk shows, but because we had nothing better to do. Richard Simmons was a guest and dude was wearing a feather shirt, caused a scene and Letterman threatened to kill him. It’s kinda their played out dynamic that I was expecting since they always have beef and anytime they wanna stir up ratings, they book Richard Simmons and his weird gayness, but the second guest was this Mary Louise Parker bitch and Letterman told her she has a great ass a few times. I never heard of her and don’t really remember much about what she said, other than that she has an Ethiopian baby because they don’t really cost a lot to feed, but I saw this picture of her naked in the show Weeds, so I assume that’s what she does and figured I might as well post them pictures here.

Posted in:Mary Louise Parker|Naked

2008

07

Aug

Christina Aguilera Naked for Lachappelle in 2004 of the Day

These pics were emailed to me yesterday and I decided to try to figure out if they were real or not, because I have been jerking off to celebrity heads cropped onto pornstar bodies for years and don’t really have a keen eye when shit comes to photoshop, but from what I found out it is a Lachappelle picture from 2004. If you don’t know David Lachappelle, he’s a photographer who some celebrities get hooked on, he does big production pictures and directs music videos, he claimed to have refused to work with Aguilera about a year ago because she’s a cunt so these pictures are from before then. If you’re wondering how I know this, it is because I am an art currator in my spare time. I am classy and cultured like that.

So the chances that these are zoomed in Aguilera tits is possible, girls get naked for big photographers all the time, but shit looks like it’s been blown up, run through filters and who really knows if they are legit, and I guess who really cares, except maybe her mother who still remembers her little small breasted baby before she became a fake titty porn-lookin’ whore….

Posted in:2004|Christina Aguilera|Naked

2008

14

Jul

Sienna Miller Hangs Out Naked With Married Dudes of the Day

I like Sienna Miller and I don’t entirely know why. She looks ratty and her tits look kinda shitty, but the truth is that she’s not fat and she looks like someone who likes to get down. We’ve seen her naked many times before so the scandal in these pics is not the fact that she’s naked, but that she’s naked with Balthazar Getty, a married dude with 4 kids.

I am not one who respects cheating, I think it’s pretty selfish and a pussy move because by a greedy person who wants all that comes his way, without caring about the other person involved and that is the main reason why I crossed my fingers when I took my wedding vows, because I didn’t really want to limit myself. So sure, in this marriage I have been unfaithful as far as my wife is concerned, but I can sleep easy at night knowing that I was never really committed to her to begin with, it’s just a paper agreement, not to mention my wife is disgusting and has got way worse over the years leaving me no real choice.

I can understand why a dude with 4 kids and a boring wife would stray for some nudist celebrity slut who likes to fuck and who probably pumped some life into his seemingly dead spirits but that doesn’t mean it’s the nice thing to do, so while Balthazar Getty is being an asshole to his family, he’s a key factor in bringing us these pics so his cheating ways have done a positive for the world on a bigger scale and if his wife can’t see that and holds that against him, then she’s just unreasonable and self serving and that’s no woman who deserves to keep her husband because his actions leading to a naked Sienna Miller should be celebrated and not punished and that’s all I have to say about that.

Posted in:Naked|Sienna Miller|Tits

2008

24

Jun

Alyssa Milano Hot Naked Video The Way We Like Her…of the Day

Here’s a video of Alyssa Milano Naked in some recent movie called Pathology. Her nude scene is her dead and getting cut open in some sort of autopsy and it’s pretty fucking sick but you can still see pussy. I assume that some of you are fucked up enough to find this hot as you spent most of your childhood killing your neighborhood cats and other random animals that would cross paths with you and you haven’t quite moved onto bigger things yet, because you aren’t that much of a psycho and you just leave the psychotic thoughts for your masturbation.

I was talking to my friend the other day and he told me about how he plays a game called “Would You” with his friends. It’s basically where different scenarios are laid out and you decide whether you’d d fuck the chick or not. One of the weirder ones was if you’re driving down an old dirt road in the middle of nowhere and you come across a passed out 18 year old hot girl in a mini skirt is lying on the side road like she had been hit by a car or something and you pull over to help her, do you bang her or do you call or help or do you bang her then call for help. I guess fucking a passed out chick is a lot less disgusting than fucking a dead chick, most of the chicks I’ve banged were passed out by by booze or drugs and not by getting hit by a car, so I wouldn’t do it and I’d get her help, but I bet you’re not as wholesome as me you horny fuckin’ creep.

Posted in:Alyssa Milano|Dead|Naked

2008

24

Jun

Orlando Bloom’s Naked Ass of the Day

Here are some pictures of Miranda Kerr and Orlando Bloom on a vacation tanning naked as they are supposed to. The highlight of the pictures have to be finally seeing Orlando Bloom’s ass. Dude was so dreamy in Pirates that I’ve just been waiting for this day for the last 5 years. It’s days like today that I want to take off my Crocodile Dundee Hat, put my pet Kangaroo back in his cage, drink a couple of Beers and sing Waltzing Matilda to celebrate Australia because I support all things white trash and Australia was pretty much built on that shit and deserves some fuckin’ love for their naked exports that are a lot more worthy of love than Vegemite or Steve Irwin.

Posted in:Ass|Bikini|Miranda Kerr|Naked|Orlando Bloom|Topless

2008

03

Jun

Paris Hilton’s Lying On Her Balcony In Nothing But a Towel and Enjoying The Scenery of the Day

These are some stalker paparazzi pictures of Paris Hilton smokin’ something while sprawled out on her balcony after taking a shower in what looks like a towel. I am sure she’s happy she dished out that extra cash for the beautiful city-scape view that has unimaginably beautiful sunsets….rumored to be some of the best in the world, when all you really had to offer the slut is a full length mirror. I was wondering if she is thinking to herself how she’s just not the woman she thought she turned out to be, but that’s probably way to complex for this whore and she’s actually just trying to get herself in the mood to rub one out and she’s the only thing that turns her on because she’s self-absorbed like that.

Posted in:Naked|Paris Hilton|Sun Tanning

2008

16

May

Tatu Naked in Their Video of the Day

Tatu are those Russian pop stars from awhile ago who decided to dyke out on stage to gain popularity and escape the iron fist of communist rule. I was hanging with a couple ugly Jewish girls who I met at the bar I was at last night and the fat one seemed pretty horny. She kept talking about how she’s never eat pussy but would and then went on and on about how good she is at suckin’ dick. She was trying to piss off her ex-boyfriend by acting flirty with me. I would have never gone for it because despite not having standards, I just wasn’t feelin her desperation for cock and that coupled with her busted face and body grossed me out. It turned out that these two girls were cousins and I thought it would be funny that while in their drunken state, I made them make out with each other since they were already pretty touchy feely. They were about to bite before realizing all the levels of wrong that touched on and instead called me a sick fuck and avoided me the rest of the night.

Either way, this is their new video where one of them gets naked.

Posted in:Naked|Tatu|Video

2008

19

Mar

Audrina From the Hills Gets Naked of the Day

I never really understand what goes through a girls mind when she takes naked pictures of herself, but then again I am not a reality TV star on one of the worst shows on TV. It’s obviously got something to do with wanting to get more exposure, because they know that nakedness means a lot more attention than just staging a nipple slip or upskirt or whatever the fuck else these bitches do to get famous, when not ready to go all the way with a sex tape. It’s like bitch thinks she’s too classy to get a dick in her on camera for the world to see, but she’ll dress like a cheap stripper in a slutty school girl outfit to show off her tits.

The story is they were an audition set she wanted to send to Playboy when she was fresh out of highschool, sexually charged and thought she was hotter than she is because daddy bought her a set of fake tits for her birthday because she already had everything else that she ever wanted and she wanted to show them off. She’s like every tacky club slut I see, with their short skirts and low cut top, showing off their Playboy Bunny tattoo as they step out of their Range Rover and I guess these pics really aren’t that big of a deal, since she’s not spreading her pussy apart, and this is some discount bargain basement version of an erotic photoshoot, but I guess if you’ve ever wanted to see her tits, now you can.

Check Out the Entire Set By Clickin’ This Link Cuz I Can’t Find the Fuckin’ Pictures to Steal….They all Have a Stupid Fucking Tag Across Them and Rumor is They Cost 10,000 Dollars Each, Money This Poor Mother Fucker Doesn’t Have and If I Did, I’d Spend it On Hookers.
GO

Posted in:Audrina Patridge|Naked|Photoshoot