Nipple Archives - Page 9 of 10 Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

2007

11

Jul

I am – Bai Ling's Nipple Slip of the Day

Bai Ling is one of those people I don’t really understand…she’s been around longer than this site has and I still have no fucking idea what she does. She gets invited to events, has nipple slips and she was in Playboy and here she is having another nipple slip at the ESPY awards, which are for sports and I hate sports but I like nipples so I will post them.

I was talking to a cab driver I met while smoking a cigar at the taxi stand the other day and it was hot out. Every girl who walked by us was half naked and this Iranian dude was freaking the fuck out. He said that every year girls where less and less clothes. He said that it’s dangerous. Automatically assuming that he meant that he wanted to rape girls, I felt a little uncomfortable but he made it clear that he thought it was dangerous because it will cause accidents on the road and not in the back alley. I asked him how often he looks in his rearview mirror to look up girl’s skirts and he blew off the question because I guess he is a professional but I could tell by the glimmer in his eye and the way he smiled hat he did and that he has seen more pantyless pussies in the last year than he has in his career.

Either way, here’s Bai Ling’s Nipple. She’s like the Asian Paris Hilton and her nipples are bigger than your dick…and I know if you had you’re way you’d love for her to fuck you in the ass with it and although that may not make you gay, you’re still a fucking Homo to me, now touch your toes sweetheart.

Posted in:Bai Ling|Nipple|Nipple Slip|Unsorted

2007

26

Jun

I am – Science of Love Nipple Slip of the Day

1 Comment »

So there was a show that aired yesterday on NBC called the Science of Love and it is a pretty simple concept:

An elibigle bachelor dates two separate women – one chosen by experts based on his biological and psychological makeup, and the other chosen by him based on raw attraction. Which woman will win his heart? Find out in this unique original hour-long special hosted by Mark Consuelos. Music provided by: Novillero, Spider Problem, Flyleaf, Tele.

I didn’t watch it because I don’t have a TV, it broke last week and when I did have a TV I only got one channel that wasn’t NBC. I am lucky enough to have a reader named CRAZY who felt obligated to send in this nippleslip to me and since CRAZY went to all that effort for me, I had no choice but to do a post for him. I am trying to encourage all you fuckers to give me hot leads because I am tired of having all the same fucking pictures as every other blog out there. So be a little more like my reader named CRAZY.

I have been trying to come up with reality TV show ideas that I could try to sell and make my mark on the world, but all I have come up with is making a poor desperate man who hates his life live his dream life in an all expense paid villa with unlimited booze, viagra and hookers under the age of 25. I have a feeling it won’t sell.

I could never come up with this kind of love match bullshit that middle age wives are into because I find the whole thing bullshit. We all know that people marry out of convenience and that there is no such thing as real love, it’s more a combination of lust and fear of being alone. Maybe I am just saying that and don’t actually believe it, but if all the bitches who eat this shit up were really in love, I doubt they’d be sitting at home watching it. I may be called a porn site and there may be porn sites out there that cater to men jerking off, but what you don’t realize is that this kinda shit is smut for older ladies, it’s their kind of porno and since it’s more socially accepted, has less nudity and everything sexual is implied and not made obvious it’s making assholes out there rich while I sit here getting typecast in my filthy shitbox I call home. That said, at least the editors are letting nipple slips make it to Air, because at least now we can finally say shows like this have done something good for us rather than make our wives want new cock and point out all our imperfections because we are too embarrassed to take them horseback riding or some shit. In my case, I am not romantic for the sake of the horse, but you fuckers have no excuse.

I’d like to thank CRAZY for making this post possible with his 16 inch TV and his digital camera. I guess being CRAZY isn’t so bad.

Posted in:NBC|Nip Slip|Nipple|Science of Love|Unsorted

2007

18

Jun

I am – Britney Nipple and stepDREAMS Post of the Day

1 Comment »

I don’t mean to be an asshole, it just happens sometimes. I think I just have high standards for the site or some shit, even though I think of it as a herpes scab on the vagina that is the internet. This is my most recent stepDREAMS entry from a reader who wants to help me out when I fuck off for a couple of weeks in July and I am not fucking impressed. Either motherfucker is trying to bite my style, in which case my style fucking sucks, or he just doesn’t know how to write or be funny. I don’t think I am a pro at this, I don’t think my site is all that funny, I do know that I put more thought into it than writing garbage like this. Either way, I may not be good at this shit, but I am better than this asshole.

Well, here we have a little glimpse of the top of Britneys nipple. It was only a couple of years ago when a shot like this would have had me cranking one out in no time flat, but now I can only wonder “what the hell is going on here?”. The brownish color of her areola is throwing me off a bit, and they also look a little bit oversized. I’m all for big nipples you know, the bigger the better. I want them to poke out my fuckin’ eyes with their overwhelming size and ferociousness, but big brown gigantic areolas just freak me right the fuck out. I may be taking a giant leap of faith here assuming the shitstains who read this site actually know what an “areola” is. While we’re on the subject of “nipples”, what the fuck is up with chicks who have inverted ones? I mean nipples are supposed to point outward and be flicked, twisted, played with and sucked on by assholes like me. If you are a bitch with inverted nipples, and there is nothing pointing up at me, you have now taken away half of my fun. Whore.

Posted in:Britney Spears|Nipple|Uncategorized|Unsorted

2007

18

Jun

I am – Mary Cary's Birthday Party of the Day

No Comments »

So this bitch is a porn star and since pornstar lives consist of getting fucked up and getting fucked, you’d think it’d be a good time. I wouldn’t know because I wasn’t invited. I never get invited to much but a few years ago when working at some porn company in the stock room packing boxes the whole company was invited to one of their launch parties. I remember thinking it was going to be a big deal where I would witness live sex and other dirty things, but it turned out the star of the movie was knocked up by the other star of the movie because they loved fucking each other so much they decided to start a relationship up or some shit. I guess it’s one of those things where since they both work in the porn industry they both can’t get jealous that the other one fucked someone else all day. But I am thinking that there’s really no point of a relationship when you get all the sex you need. I know that when I was a janitor, I never cleaned my house. When I was a gardener, I never mowed my lawn, when I worked in the kitchen of a restaurant, I never ate restaurant food, so if I was a porn star, I probably wouldn’t fuck after work hours.

It really doesn’t matter because my penis doesn’t work and when it did work it was too small to do porn, but I’ve decided that I hate porn chicks. They are too easy and trashy and have fake tits they like showing off. They don’t fuck like real people fuck and they fake orgasms and can’t act. I am way more into subtle sluts who keep the craziness for behind closed doors because that’s what amateur ex girlfriend porn is made of…and not by crying for attention everywhere they go….

2007

18

Jun

I am – Mary Cary’s Birthday Party of the Day

43 Comments »

So this bitch is a porn star and since pornstar lives consist of getting fucked up and getting fucked, you’d think it’d be a good time. I wouldn’t know because I wasn’t invited. I never get invited to much but a few years ago when working at some porn company in the stock room packing boxes the whole company was invited to one of their launch parties. I remember thinking it was going to be a big deal where I would witness live sex and other dirty things, but it turned out the star of the movie was knocked up by the other star of the movie because they loved fucking each other so much they decided to start a relationship up or some shit. I guess it’s one of those things where since they both work in the porn industry they both can’t get jealous that the other one fucked someone else all day. But I am thinking that there’s really no point of a relationship when you get all the sex you need. I know that when I was a janitor, I never cleaned my house. When I was a gardener, I never mowed my lawn, when I worked in the kitchen of a restaurant, I never ate restaurant food, so if I was a porn star, I probably wouldn’t fuck after work hours.

It really doesn’t matter because my penis doesn’t work and when it did work it was too small to do porn, but I’ve decided that I hate porn chicks. They are too easy and trashy and have fake tits they like showing off. They don’t fuck like real people fuck and they fake orgasms and can’t act. I am way more into subtle sluts who keep the craziness for behind closed doors because that’s what amateur ex girlfriend porn is made of…and not by crying for attention everywhere they go….

2007

12

Jun

I am – Britney Spears Nip Slip of the Day

67 Comments »

Nothing says I let some dude bust a nut inside me a minimum of 2 times when we were married, knocking my fat unhygienic ass up twice like walking around LA with your tits hanging out. It’s like an open invitation for all of us fuckers to latch onto her with our mouths and start sucking for spoiled milk that her little babies left behind….

I’d write more, but what’s the fucking point, her tits are doing all the talking for me and no one needs a commentator when they are trying to stare at a useless cunt they’ll never meet’s tits…

Posted in:Britney Spears|Nipple|Nipslip|Tits|Unsorted

2006

10

Feb

Tori Spelling's Large Nipple

No Comments »

Isn’t this bitch pregnant or something, oh that’s right, no one really cares about her and no one ever did. Everyone gave her slack for being the daughter of “Dallas” or whatever fuckin’ show made Aaron Spelling the biggest TV producer in the 70’s, 80’s and 90’s. It’s not that I give a fuck about spoiled bitches, I actually like how they let their angst dominate their lives, and think it’s the center of the whole universe. I also like the fact that they always turn to drugs, mainly cocaine, sometime heroin or scprits. I like that they are always the victims, meanwhile they had everything they want growing up. I can just imagine how much of a cunt Tori was to her latina maid/nanny. I can also imagine how much of a cunt she was when she demanded to be on daddy’s show. And it’s really turning me on. Unlike her tit, that she’s busted, the nipple’s too big for the tit, and I always thought she had implants, if bitch had implants, nothin’ would be aimin to the ground. Stop focusing on the tits, you useless fuck, and let’s try to have a meaningful conversation.

Posted in:Boob|Nipple|Tori Spelling|Unsorted

2006

10

Feb

Tori Spelling’s Large Nipple

15 Comments »

Isn’t this bitch pregnant or something, oh that’s right, no one really cares about her and no one ever did. Everyone gave her slack for being the daughter of “Dallas” or whatever fuckin’ show made Aaron Spelling the biggest TV producer in the 70’s, 80’s and 90’s. It’s not that I give a fuck about spoiled bitches, I actually like how they let their angst dominate their lives, and think it’s the center of the whole universe. I also like the fact that they always turn to drugs, mainly cocaine, sometime heroin or scprits. I like that they are always the victims, meanwhile they had everything they want growing up. I can just imagine how much of a cunt Tori was to her latina maid/nanny. I can also imagine how much of a cunt she was when she demanded to be on daddy’s show. And it’s really turning me on. Unlike her tit, that she’s busted, the nipple’s too big for the tit, and I always thought she had implants, if bitch had implants, nothin’ would be aimin to the ground. Stop focusing on the tits, you useless fuck, and let’s try to have a meaningful conversation.

Posted in:Boob|Nipple|Tori Spelling|Unsorted

2006

08

Feb

Heather Graham’s Stretch Mark and Nip

1 Comment »

Ever since I was little, I knew I would have a huge impact on society. I knew that I would find an audience and make a difference. If you are wondering what difference I have made in your life, it’s simple, nothin of substance or importance, nothing that will get you laid. I have just brought you my useless stories that you probably can’t draw much insight from, because there’s not a whole lot of insight there to begin with. But it doesn’t matter, some nice guy gave me photoshop and I cropped a pic of Heather Graham’s tits so that you can see Nipple and Stretch Marks. I am all for imperfections and nipple slips, that’s why I love Heather Graham and used to jerk off to her in Boogy Nights when my dick still worked. Yes, I feel like a loser for sitting here learning photoshop to produce these images, but I guess no one can really feel like a loser when they are in your company. You’re one of those ppl the losers hang out with to look cool….either way I know this was lame, but isn’t most of what I do??

Posted in:Boob|Heather Graham|Nipple|stretch mark|Unsorted

2006

08

Feb

Heather Graham's Stretch Mark and Nip

1 Comment »

Ever since I was little, I knew I would have a huge impact on society. I knew that I would find an audience and make a difference. If you are wondering what difference I have made in your life, it’s simple, nothin of substance or importance, nothing that will get you laid. I have just brought you my useless stories that you probably can’t draw much insight from, because there’s not a whole lot of insight there to begin with. But it doesn’t matter, some nice guy gave me photoshop and I cropped a pic of Heather Graham’s tits so that you can see Nipple and Stretch Marks. I am all for imperfections and nipple slips, that’s why I love Heather Graham and used to jerk off to her in Boogy Nights when my dick still worked. Yes, I feel like a loser for sitting here learning photoshop to produce these images, but I guess no one can really feel like a loser when they are in your company. You’re one of those ppl the losers hang out with to look cool….either way I know this was lame, but isn’t most of what I do??

Posted in:Boob|Heather Graham|Nipple|stretch mark|Unsorted

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