Rihanna Archives - Page 48 of 49 Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

2007

09

Oct

I am – Rihanna’s Dog’s Got the Coolest Job of the Day

Rihanna is one of those girls who I watch sing and think about how badly I wish she was using my mic for a dick. I mean my dick for a mic. The reason she gets me going is because she is a hot black girl who isn’t all eyes and teeth, she’s like some Caribbean mix from when the white man rape the locals and it looks good. She is the first black girl I ever really wanted to since Aunt Jamima broke my heart. I was really only into her because she was a provider and had big tits and makes good pancakes and owns some kind of empire and I woulda totally be fucking her wallet and living the good life, but then I realized that bitch didn’t exist and was a figment of my imagination fueled by her hot pic on a box in my cupboard, but that doesn’t mean I wasn’t devastated and couldn’t look at another black girl the same until this bitch Rihanna came along.

The funny thing about Rihanna is that she’s carrying this dog around with her everywhere she goes. I am jealous of the fucker because not only does he get to follow her around, see her naked, accidentally sniff her cunt, watch her shit and suck dick and shower and everything you’d want to see her do, but he also gets to lick her dirty panties and eat her used tampons, and there’s nothing more that I want this second than to be Rihanna’s tampon. Sure I am not all absorbent and shit, but I am not good at anything and that doesn’t stop me from trying….see how inspirational I am. If I was you I would totally turn to me for advice because ending up in the gutter isn’t that bad of a place to be as long as you’ve got cheap cigars and some kind of song and dance routine you can take to the street to make money to eat, cuz no one likes a talentless bum….

Related Posts:

Rihanna’s Got Some Fuckin’ Legs Yo….
Rihanna Hides Her Forehead But Not Her Tits…
Rihanna Performing in Latex
Rihanna Rocks a Onesy Pictures

2007

03

Sep

I am – Rihanna Fighting With Her Dress of the Day

2 Comments »

Here are some pictures of Rihanna fighting with her dress to stay on, I like to believe that some fights aren’t worth fighting and this is one of them, but that’s only because I want to see her cans.

Speaking of fights not worth having, I was walking down the street and some drunk dude asked the time. The guy I was with told him that it was time to get a watch and dude went fucking insane. He started punching himself in the head and screaming about how he wanted to throw it down….we kept walking but the concept of a dude wanting to fight over shit I said in elementary school was fucking amazing….a fight I probably wouldn’t have fought, but this dude wasn’t having it….

Later that night, I was in a bar and had to take a piss, so I go to the bathroom and walk into some kind of man conference of 5 dudes pumping each other up to get pussy. One guy was screaming how the place is totally his seen and he’s going to get laid tonight and another guy was screaming how he loves pussy and they other 3 dudes were just going along with it, hitting each other and wrestling in the bathroom. One guy went on about how cool looking he was and how amazing he looked while his buddy was telling him how awesome he was. It was pretty much one of the gayer experiences of my life, other than when I was in prison. I wanted to tell them that they were going to fuck and that they were already at first base, which each other. But some fights aren’t worth fighting and I didn’t feel like getting gang raped in the bathroom by a group of drunk, testosterone charged closet cases….because they don’t think it’s gay to fuck each other, it just proves how comfortable they are with their sexuality and they usually try to be less gay by convincing some drunk college chick to join them in the fun for a gangbang…but when their buddy is getting sucked off by the slut, they are jerking off to the thought of being the one doing the sucking….

Reality is that they are probably people who read the site, because that’s how expect you to act in public and I found that thought pretty fucking depressing…like these Rihanna pics that don’t show no nipple.

Related Posts:

Rihanna Shows Some Vagina Lip Performing
Rihanna Bikini Pictures
Rihanna in a Bathing Suit Pictures
Rihanna Vadge Definition of the Day
Rihanna Looks Slutty when Performing

Posted in:Nip Slip|Rihanna|Tits|Unsorted|Wardrobe Malfunction

2007

25

Jul

I am – Rihanna and Her Shiny, Sexy Legs of the Day

2 Comments »

Rhianna

While the Lohan is out getting arrested for DUI and running over small children and Britney is shaving her head and putting Sean Preston on the BBQ, Rhianna is on stage rocking out, making millions and probably being your wank fantasy after your mom tucks you in at night. I donâ€™t where here parents went right, but Iâ€™d like to shake their hands.
The only downfall for Rhianna is she will most likely have to fuck Jay-Z one day, if she hasnâ€™t already, and like I dunno if youâ€™ve taken a good look at Jay-Z or not, but if you have, then I think youâ€™â€™ see my point. All the money in the world canâ€™t save that dudes looks and to top it off, homeboy has gotten hefty lately and puts a whole new spin on the words â€œBig Pimpinâ€™â€?.

Every girls fucks a guy at one point or another (okay maybe MORE then one point) where she thinks the guy is just fucking disgusting, and itâ€™s usually as a result of him being able to give you something you want or wanted, cause women are whores like that. The worst part is this disgusting sex usually ends up being some of the best sex we have had in our lives, but itâ€™s totally confusing in your head, because just looking at this other person makes you want to retch. Itâ€™s the ultimate double edged sword, but it does happen occasionally.

I bet when Rhianna fucks gets she gets diamond necklaces and cars. Me, Iâ€™m lucky if I get a fucking ride home.

hugs and kisses
Marie-Ever Martinez

Related Posts

I am â€“ Rhianna Wearing a Onesy of the Day
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I am â€“ Rhianna Performs in a Sexy Latex Outfit of the Day
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I am â€“ Rhianna Bathing Suit Pics of the Day
GO

Posted in:Legs|Rihanna|Unsorted

2007

30

May

I am – Rihanna Wearing a Onesy of the Day

2 Comments »

If you’re wondering why I know that this short/shirt is called a onesy, it’s because I have a infantilism fetish and love when my momma dresses me all up in my little onesy and a diaper and feeds little baby a bottle.

Either way, shit’s making a comeback and I was in American Apparel yesterday getting my stepdaughter a leotard to model for me because it’s still kinda a fetish of mine but it’s slowly losing it’s appeal because everyone in Montreal wearing fucking leodards now, I feel like I am at a dance recital ever ytime I leave my fucking house, and if you were to ask anyone with a foot fetish what they would do if every girl started walking around barefoot, he’d probably go fucking insane. For some reason, I just lose interest and move onto the next thing. I haven’t decided if onesy’s are the next thing but when I was at the store some girl in her mid 20s was rockin’ something similar. The only difference was that shit was too small and was riding up her box and showing off her ass cheeks and when she caught me staring, I just smiled back and said “that’d look way hotter with a diaper on underneath”….

Either way, here is Rihanna, not wearing a diaper under her onesy, but compensating with some fuck me boots and her own CD….and the only thing hotter than a girl who listens to her own music is fucking a girl who listens to own music. True Story.

Posted in:Legs|Rihanna|Unsorted

2007

29

May

I am – Rihanna Performs in a Sexy Latex Outfit of the Day

1 Comment »

If I knew concerts were like stripclubs, I would have saved my lap dance budget for tickets to this show. Rhianna is looking pretty fucking tight bodied in this getup and the fact that I can’t grab her tits for 10 dollars is the reason why I will never bite into my lap dance budget….

I will say that everyone gives her a hard time for having a big forehead and lookin’ like an alien and shit, but when a girl dresses like this, her forehead is probably the last thing I am looking at. I am the kind of guy who girls love because I never look them in the eyes when I talk to them, I go straight for the tits because I figure there is reason to pretend I care what they are saying and I like to stick to the point of our conversation…I guess that’s why I don’t have any girl friends.

I remember a time before being married when I would try to get laid. I was never good at romance. I was the kind of guy who would just try to grab at her box when I had an opening or when she was least expecting it, mainly because if a girl wanted my dick, I’d expect her to just grab at it to give me the green light. That move never really worked and is probably why I always stuck to hookers, they were a lot less work and I didn’t have to tell them what they wanted to hear. All I had to do was give them the money they wanted and they’d let me grab at them as much as my money allowed for.

Enough of my stupid story of how I have shitty game, look at these pics of Rhianna giving me something I want and that’s a mainstream latex show for all the young girls who will be taking her lead in 5 to 10 years making the world a happier fucking place….

2007

18

Jan

I am – Rihanna Bikini Pics of the Day

1 Comment »

I just found out that 2 celebrity bloggers are fucking each other…up the ass…not because celebrity blogging turned them into faggots but because they were faggots before they started celebrity blogging and the internet connected them…in each other’s asses. I guess it’s one of those celebrity things where celebs only date other celebs because they understand each other’s lifestyles, only in this case they aren’t celebrities at all, just 2 homos with shitty websites, acting like 15 year old girls all day, but now doing it side by side on each other’s couches….Together they break stories about Lohan in Rehab or Aniston Adopting Babies, and fight to be the first to drop the story…They are both making more money than me, are more respected than me, have more traffic than me even though they are 2 dudes fucking each other…This post didn’t come across as funny as the whole situation is, but I am usually pretty bad at making people laugh…even when the story I am telling is funny…maybe that’s why I only have you reading this and not half of the internet population.

Speaking of bad here are some pics of….Rihanna in another Animal Print Bathing Suit, if you missed the first one go HERE . This is where the old me would make a joke about getting back in touch with the jungle/safari/something tribal, but I am just going to keep it to myself because that’s cheap humor, and even though I got no money, I am not cheap. But I may have posted these already – so many bikinis it’s hard to keep track. It’s nice to see her working hard as she drinks in the ocean and you all sit at your cubicles at your shitty jobs….

Posted in:Bikini|Rihanna|Unsorted

2007

05

Jan

I am – Rihanna Bathing Suit Pics of the Day

2 Comments »

It’s a race against time, my computer battery is about to die and I need to pump this post out. I feel like I am James Bond or some shit, but a lot lazier. I went out to a club last night, it was the first time I had been in a club in a long fucking time. I was given a VIP Pass to get in when I was sitting on a bench near by, so I decided to go up and look for content and check out tits. When upstairs, I ran into a bartender I knew from my raving days. I wasn’t one of those fur pant wearing queers, I was more of a sexual predator to girls jacked on E. He got me drunk and in my drunken stupor noticed that all the black dudes in the place were dancing like monkeys. I am not being racist, I just felt like I was watching the nature channel and this was their mating ritual.

Speaking of black people, here are some pics of Rhianna in a bathing suit pics because I am keeping up the bathing suit theme for the week, but before you start jerking off, check out her Michael Jackson skin rash on her upper thigh, right next to her cooter, I can only assume it’s not just a birthmark….

Now here are them there pics…

<

I beat the clock…

Posted in:Bathing Suit|Rihanna|Unsorted

2006

29

Nov

I am – Rihanna Performs of the Day

107 Comments »

I guess what’s funny to me, isn’t funny to everyone and what is hot to me isn’t what’s hot to everyone. These pictures have been floating around the last couple of days and are really funny because it makes me think this girl thinks she needs to dress like this to get fans and they are definitely hot because if you look closely you’ll realize she’s half naked.

I have a thing for one-piece outfits, where the bottoms and the tops are connected. This is Rhianna performing in that kinda one-piece dancer outfit that American Apparel is pumping out and hipsters are eating up. I don’t know where my love for these came from, but I am thinking it was probably when I was supposed to be in college, but was too busy drinking and living on the streets, but all the hot girls I’d see in the park and walking around and sitting on campus would be wearing body suits, that shit was all the rage and these bathing suit, spandex things on, tucked into a hot pair of light colored tapered jeans wered behind any girl showing off their body, and by body I mean boobs. In a way, the bodysuit was the gateway from cheesy early nineties over-sized t-shrts and turtle necks to HOT nipple exposing shirts we see today, in a way it is responsible for this site, without any slutty shirts, I would have nothing to write about.

I guess this post isn’t really what I expected it to be, but going back and editing it would be a waste of time considering I have 10 readers and these pics over-shadow what I write…..

Speaking of over-shadowing what I do, it’s that festive time of year so I am thinking of stealing a tree for my wife from one of these x-mas tree vendors down the street. I suggest you do the same, because buying a dead tree off a drunk guy seems like a bit of a scam. Like buying lactose from a south american claiming the shit is Columbia Gold. That analogy made no sense, but keeping in the theme of no-looking back…I bet you regret reading this … CUDDLES.

Posted in:Performing|Rihanna|Unsorted

2006

28

Jul

I am – Rihanna's Shorts of the Day

No Comments »

Here are some pics of Rhianna in shorts, showin’ off her legs. It seems to be a constant theme in her life. I can only assume that she had some sleazy uncle tell her over and over that her legs were amazing, because she’s obviously thinkin’ that her legs are the prize. Someone just told me that she’s a half-breed and thought that since I was speaking of prize, I’d mention how funny it was during colonialization of all these undeveloped countries, the rich European man had his choice of poor local women. I think that’s how Lenny Kravitz was born with a Jewish name. It is late, I am tired, this post was a definite miss….

Posted in:Rihanna|Shorts|Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

28

Jul

I am – Rihanna’s Shorts of the Day

10 Comments »

Here are some pics of Rhianna in shorts, showin’ off her legs. It seems to be a constant theme in her life. I can only assume that she had some sleazy uncle tell her over and over that her legs were amazing, because she’s obviously thinkin’ that her legs are the prize. Someone just told me that she’s a half-breed and thought that since I was speaking of prize, I’d mention how funny it was during colonialization of all these undeveloped countries, the rich European man had his choice of poor local women. I think that’s how Lenny Kravitz was born with a Jewish name. It is late, I am tired, this post was a definite miss….

Posted in:Rihanna|Shorts|Uncategorized|Unsorted

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