SFW Archives - Page 996 of 1171 Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

2015

28

Dec

Alessandra Ambrosio’s Round Fake Tits in a Bikini of the Day

Alessandra Ambrosio’s breast implants are clown-like…

These are tit tits that get paid millions of dollars a year to be put in a bikini..along with an average looking 35 year old face…

Yet they are so clown-like…

Just little round bolt ons she probably paid 5k for, making for a solid ROI, paid for themselves dozens of times over….

I’m not sure if the tits happened post baby deflated from all the milk sucking…or if she’s always had them…

I’m just not impressed when fake is celebrated or hired and paid stupid money…especially when fake is THIS fake…like circles drawn onto her…in a world where there are thousands of actual great tits better suited for the contracts she’s been milking, something she can’t do with her tits, since they are plastic, all these years…

Yes, I hate fake tits…

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Alessandra Ambrosio|SFW

2015

28

Dec

Chloe Grace Moretz in Snow in Heels of the Day

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She’s getting high concept….naked under a fur coat in heels in the snow…

I feel like this is a high school or even a junior college art project about the animalistic survival mechanism in nature contrasted with modern day luxury and the idea of beauty through nudity, heels and overall sex appeal….

Right? That’s what she’s going for right? Right?

I mean we’re all trying to jerk off to her skinny legs all vulnerable in the snow…needing one of us to shovel her out of the ditch she stuck in…only to repay us by spreading those legs….or bending over the the snowplow on the truck…in the most Canadian winter fantasy around….except in Canada, we were probably legally allowed to have vaginal sex with her when all of America fell in love with her, since 18 isn’t the legal age here…but I guess the fact that people couldn’t fuck her is part of why people like her…fucking perverts…

Posted in:Chloe Grace Moretz|SFW

2015

28

Dec

Lauren Cohan for Shape Magazine of the Day

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Lauren Cohan is some 32 OR 33 year old from Walking Dead, a show that is so fucking popular, I don’t even know if it is still on the air, but still so fucking popular it might as well be, a show I don’t watch because Zombies bore me…

Maybe I’m autistic, because I can’t fuck with people fighting off Zombies knowing zombeis don’t exist…it’s a lie…so I can’t wrap my head or imagination around it…

But if zombies did exist, and this show was a reality show, I’d be in the front row because I would be into watching humans run for their fucking lives, trying to survive their corpse monsters who want to eat their brains, but only because I think humanity would lose….but in the grand scheme of things, it’d be a reset, since our system is totally fucking backwards…and mass death would probably allow us to see what is important….selling survival supplies at a premium…

Either way, she’s fit, or fit enough for a Shape or fitness magazine, she’s on TV and should be fit, and these are the pics…I assume her fans can jerk off to because that’s how fans work…they are into the things they are fans of……

I guess she’s in shape, literally, but not necessarily, this magazine has featured Oprah on their cover…they fucking love photoshop..

Posted in:Lauren Cohan|SFW

2015

28

Dec

Elsa Pataky Ass in a Weird Diaper of the Day

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Fast and Furious Elsa Pataky is pretty fucking old and a mom…so this weird extra ass cheek fold in her ass shouldn’t be an imperfection to mock, but rather one to celebrate, since her Spanish genetics, have allowed her to breed without as much damage as most white people have after they breed, because I guess Spanish people need to breed, it’s culturally in their DNA, survival…and in their religion…Catholicsm…where white people just do it so they can eat whatever the fuck they want for the rest of their life because they are done being attractive and virtually throw in the towel…where as Elsa Pataky has a career to continue…these Fast and Furious movies will go on forever…and at 40…she’s gotta work to keep those paychecks coming in…

All this to say…weird bikini choice….

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Elsa Pataky|SFW

2015

28

Dec

Emma Robert’s Skinny Legs and Foot Fetish Alert of the Day

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Emma Roberts has skinny legs…

We can thank her Aunt Julia and her Dad Eric Roberts…for both her career and raising her in Hollywood amongst fame hungry addicts, celebrity life, filled with paparazzi scandal and egos, a damaged broken family, of self destructive, over celebrated people..leading to her wanting to be in the industry, it’s easy money when you get work thanks to your last name, giving you time to take up drugs, or not eating, since no one likes a fat girl….leading to skinny legs…leading to boners…leading to me falling in love…because skinny legs are porn to me….

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Emma Roberts|SFW

2015

28

Dec

Maria Menounos Abs of the Day

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I guess Maria Menounos wants you to know she has defined abs…

I don’t know why Maria Menounos wants you to know she’s got a flat, fit, toned stomach, when as a greek she should know that matters is her primary fuck hole, her anus…but I guess posting anus pics on social media is less “look at how healthy and fit I am through diet and exercise”…to make all her 45 year old fans who watched her on Extra….and follow her…feel bad about their fat, not on TV selves….and to make the 40 year old men who know who the fuck this slag is for whatever reason ask “where’s her ass in this pic”….

I don’t know why girls think ab pics are hot, when really all we want to see is them from behind…the other side of the abs…that’s the target…

Posted in:Maria Menounos|SFW

2015

28

Dec

Waterhouse Sister Fetish of the Day

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Suki Waterhouse fucked Brad Cooper, when she looked 14, despite being 18, since all these actors like fucking young girls…

Immy Waterhouse, is her sister…

Together, they are in bikinis, probably rich kids from the UK, vacationing in Barbados for the winter, pretending to be models like the Hadids, as rich kids do, the sister hustle works, no longer getting fucked by Brad cooper, but the damage to her pussy from fucking Brad Cooper will live on forever…or something…

I can assume Brad Cooper, being an A List actor managed to fuck both sisters at the same time while dating, because girls do anything for celebrities, even fuck their sisters, but that could be wishful thinking, because some people, even celebrities aren’t as dirty as me and would never ask for the sister threesome, they’d just jerk off to the idea of it instead.

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Immy Waterhouse|SFW|Suki Waterhouse

2015

28

Dec

Kimberley Garner Bikini Body of the Day

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Kimberley Garner is a UK reality show star with a fantastic body.

She once followed me on twitter for a day, and I realized just how desperate she was to make it in America…seeing as anyone who turns to me for press, or promotion is usually at the end of their road, I’m the pre suicide, maybe the one person who reads the site will send the story to another person who people actually pay attention to…because I figure if I’m not famous from the site, or known from the site, and if the site isn’t famous for being the site or known as the site…why the fuck would someone featured on the site go viral because of the site, unless we’re talking aids..

Well I guess Kim Garner figured that one out also, because she no longer follows me on twitter…leaving me scared and a lone, but fine, because I know hundreds of other hookers who are too dumb to realize I can’t help them…

Point being, she is in a bikini Santa hat for attention self shot shoot that is badly shot, but still features her hot body and that’s good enough for me…

TO SEE HER OUT IN A SCHOOL GIRL SKIRT IN LONDON CLICK HERE

Posted in:Kimberley Garner|SFW

2015

28

Dec

Casey Batchelor’s Fat Tits in a Bikini of the Day

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Casey Batchelor is a chubby, big titty UK Glamour model who went onto really important things like UK Celebrity Big Brother because they needed the tits to get the ratings….tits get hits…

Which I guess makes her the Charlotte McKinney of the UK, only the UK has dozens of these girls, they need them to marry soccer players, while the US only has one Charlotte McKinney…a set of barely famous, barely talked about tits, who snuck onto TV via the right scam…because before McKinney, who may not be the first non-famous, unaccomplished person to end up on a tv show being called a star, but the most recent….and the one who really hadn’t done anything…

That’s not to say Casey Batchelor is as useless, but I assume she is…and here she is on Vacation…

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Casey Batchelor|SFW

2015

28

Dec

Stella Maxwell and Barbara Palvin Swimming Naked of the Day

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Stella Maxwell and Barbara Palvin are best friends ever..you know two young models who aren’t the kids of rich fame whore reality stars or hollywood actors…trying to make it in America…

You know two Europeans, riding off their US work visa, attending all the great events, because they both work for Victoria’s Secret, in fact Barbara Palvin is the reason Stella Maxwell even got on the Victoria’s Secret radar, and their hipster socializing, is the reason why Stella Maxwell was able to friend Miley, and pretend to date Miley, and french kiss Miley as Miley fingered her, for the paparazzi, in something that would have broken the internet a decade ago, but that we’re all too desensitized to give a fuck about now, but still makes her more hireable..

Doesn’t matter, they are tit-on-tit-ing…and that’s erotica, if you like toplessness and nipple kisses…

Subtle lesbianism, like two college girls making out for male attention…even if they aren’t into fucking girls, when they probably are, because it’s 2015…who the fuck isn’t…I’d just prefer the scissoring / strap on sex, to girls being girls nonsense…

Posted in:Barbara Palvin|SFW|Stella Maxwell

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