SFW Archives - Page 1020 of 1171 Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

2015

24

Nov

Alessandra Ambrosio for Maxim by Gilles Bensimon of the Day

Alessandra Ambrosio celebrated her 90th birthday by doing a shoot for Maxim, like it was 1996, with Gille Bensimon, who is a great photographer, but also who peaked when he was married to Elle Macpherson in 1990…making this like a throwback thursday on a tuesday…where she’s showing her ass and titties…

I don’t really get the direction of Maxim, who before they got bought by some rich kid from Texas, who may or may not be an arab…(oil money)….would send me lawyers letters like little pussy bitches…”why are you posting and promoting are photoshoots you jerk”….even though they used to buy traffic from me…so confusing…but not as confusing as Alessandra Ambrosio still…

Posted in:Alessandra Ambrosio|SFW

2015

24

Nov

Tinashe Lickin’ Toilets for Dazed of the Day

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You may know Tinashe from Polar Express…

Well now she’s a pop singer…and she’s licking mini toilets for some fashion magazine…

Which means dreams do come true, when you have proper stage parents who whore you out at 7 years old…allowing you to blossom into edgy hipster performer – because that’s what the kids are into – even though “hipster” doesn’t even exist…everything is mainstream…tumblr…thanks internet for killing scenes and making cool kids in scenes no longer exist…we are inclusive, politically correct, god’s people, even though there is no god, that would be cultural appropriation…all these pussies…

I am just mad that the toilet isn’t life sized and dirty…the way I like girls to lick toilets when I fuck them…I’m a romantic…

Here’s the video…

Posted in:SFW|Tinashe

2015

24

Nov

Christie Brinkley in a Bikini at 500 Years Old of the Day

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If you’re like me, you jerked off to Christie Brinkley back in the 70s…when she was a Sports Illustrated model married to Billy Joel..back when Sports Illustrated bikini models meant something…more than just the name these current SI models are riding or diving into the fucking ground…

If you’re like me, you’ll jerk off to these pics of Christie Brinkley at 500 fucking years old in a bikini, because she looks like fucking same…

I like to think this is just good plastic surgery that doesn’t decompose…or biodegrate..or it could be good living…thanks to millions of dollars in work, child support and alimony…

Either way, this makes zero sense…she looks better than her daughter…who is 16 or something…just creepy…in a good way.

Posted in:Christie Brinkley|SFW

2015

24

Nov

Vanessa Hudgens Finds Her California of the Day

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celeber.ru

Find Your California, not because it’s lost…but because some hipster, make-up artist, with access to celebrities because there’s a circle and when you’re in it, even the dumbest of ideas get co-signed, especially when they are based around the state that gave these egos the egos they have…there’s a love for the sunny weather…and all the money it has made them…via Disney…also created in California…

So here’s Vanessa Hudgens participating in the “movement” that’s hardly a movement, but rather subpar, average at best pics and I’m just mad Vanessa Hudgens didn’t find her California when she posted or leaked those nude pics…because we should revisit those..now that she’s not 17…or pretending to be 17….to get her bush removed from the internet…

I prefer when ASHLEY BENSON found her California with a sheer bra top – showcasing what really matters about Ashley Benson…and what I guess she’s learned from her California…once she found her California, and that is that her tits..can carry her….

But these will do, I guess.

: celeber.ru

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: celeber.ru

: celeber.ru

Posted in:SFW|Vanessa Hudgens

2015

24

Nov

Eva Longoria’s in a Bikini of the Day

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People fucking love Eva Longoria. On more than one occasion in my life, I have been at an event that Eva Longoria was speaking at, because I guess she’s fucking everywhere, and everyone there, who I guess were a captive audience, who left their house to see Eva Longoria, were freaking the fuck out she was there…and when I said that she was the worst, and that her book tour was just a scam, manipulating mexicans by her representing them as some kind of idol…who made it….they went nuts and listed all her philanthropic work..

While I’m there saying “she’s the kind of Mexican who hires Mexicans and underpays Mexicans because despite being a first generation Mexican, the family spoiled her like she was white, so that she would fit in amongst the texan racists, and racism is learned, so in being a racist, she too looks down on the very Mexicans who idolize her”….went over well…

Well, she’s at a bridal shower, or bachelorette party, getting all wild and crazy in her bikini, looking better than most Mexicans who work your local taco bell or hotel as a chamber maid…and despite being old, thicker, damaged from her 7 foot black basketball playing ex husband…you’d still fuck her…because you’re addicted to her fame, her power, the fact she’s in a bikini…

Livin’ the dream.

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Eva Longoria|SFW

2015

24

Nov

Jessica Hart’s Model Ass is Melting of the Day

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Australian model and gold digger Jessica Hart was spotted on the beach of what I assume is Australia, since she’s Australian…

Her ass may look like it’s a grandmother’s ass, but the rest of her is 29…

We can blame the model diet of cocaine and starvation…with stints of working out in between…where they build up a fit body…only to lose the muscle mass…and end up…like a half full bag of jello…

There was a time when she was amazing, gap toothed and amazing, back in 2008 and 2009 where she did Victoria’s Secret, the biggest scam in Underwear…and Sports Illustrated, the biggest scam in bikini photoshoots…but in 2014 she talked shit on Taylor Swift performing at the VS Fashion show, and Taylor Swift, since she’s a cunt who doesn’t like people being mean to her, had her fired..which I guess is great…or at least better than her ass in these bikini pics…but then again..what isnt’…

I guess she doesn’t really care that much about work, since her boyfriend is Stavros Niacrchos, she’s been with him forever, and will never get rid of him, thanks to the billions, even if the homosexual and not just because he’s greek and Greek’s love anal, who dated Paris Hilton amongst pretty much everyone…meaning at least, out of all this, she’s landed Paris Hilton herpes….so fancy!!!

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Jessica Hart|SFW

2015

24

Nov

Hipster Sister of 50 Year Old Bella Thorne in a Low Rent Photoshoot of the Day

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Low rent model, Dani Thorne, is in a low rent Photoshoot, for what I assume is a low rent campaign, for a low rent company, or a low rent photographer, who like Dani Thorne, is striking when the iron is hot, milking the fact that her sister is famous, after all three sisters were thrown into the mix, with what we can assume was a little jealousy, before realizing it’s way cooler to be a hipster model for instagram, than a Disney Star…or whatever Bella Thorne is…becasue instagram is EVERYTHING…assholes..

I prefer when they ARE IN BIKINIS TOGETHER …but only because I have an sister fetish….

Posted in:Dani Thorne|SFW

2015

24

Nov

50 Year Old Bella Thorne in Bikinis with her Sisters of the Day

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I have a theory, that’s probably very accurate, because I am god, in the event you didn’t know, and in being god, I am all knowing, and everything I say is truth, even when inconsistent with things I said yesterday, like how I once thought Rihanna looked like a bulldog, but eventually gave into her and thought she was hot…kind of thing…it’s like this motherfucker always says the same thing, over an over again, but it’s always different, it’s like it is a team of people writing this shit, badly…because it’s actually a division of Disney designed to shit talk their talent in some backhanded perverted way…that will eventually be leveraged into a Children’s cartoon where I’m the homeless man villain…

That said, the theory…Bella Thorne…the daughter of what I assume are hippies…since her sisters are named “Danni and Kali”…straight from Florida, the land of Flakka, all the weird news, and trashy hooter girl fame whores, who sometimes get famous when they move west…all eager to succeed while being accessible to the general population, since Florida is so vanilla, white and suburban…where even the rich as fuck…are white trash in 20 million dollar mansions..

Anyway, they put all the kids into the mix in LA, a few got jobs here and there thanks to “Mom’s” hard throat fucking…Bella is the one who stuck and is now carrying the whole family, being the golden fiery child with the red hair and great ginger body..and now..they are together in bikinis…whoring it out as they were taught…because they’ve all made it since one made it…

Dreams do come true…and I guess for those of you who jerked off to her at 17, even though she was actually 40, this could be a dream of yours because bikinis, but I figure you’re more into porn, since everyone is into porn now, even moms and 40 year old women who want to get gangbanged like porn….40 year old women like Bella Thorne…

All this to say, the whole family is lookin good half naked, good job stage parents…too bad the 2 hipster ones blocked me on social media before Bella was famous…so that I can’t sing them love songs through comments on their instagram.

Posted in:Bella Thorne|SFW

2015

24

Nov

Lookin’ Good Kourtney Kardashian the Drunk of the Day

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It’s unfortunate that despite how broken down Kourtney Kardashian is, her drunk isn’t the beginning of the end for the family…even if she went off her rails and died in a drunk driving accident that killed a bunch of pre-schoolers including her own…the Kardashians would live on…Even if she went completely off the rails and got into mind altering drugs…or heroin or anything that made her manic..and she decided to kill off the family, to rid the world of the evil she felt guilty for…she’s probably only get through few of them before being taken out…thank to the mom’s active uterus…and widespread babies everywhere…they are impossible to get into the same room…

So this picture of her face…wasted…is nothing more than something to laugh at…which is too bad…because this good be so much more….like her dying…

Posted in:Kourtney Kardashian|SFW

2015

23

Nov

Britney Spears Yoga Pose for Christmas of the Day

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Britney Spears struck a Yoga Pose, as most white girls do, except in OTTAWA CANADA where they banned Yoga from a college because in being extremely PC, they’ve decided Yoga is cultural appropriation, like wearing a native Head dress…while half the people who banned the yoga class for diabled people, even after a re-name was suggested, had the hindi septum ring…and/or the wore the Hindi dot between their eyes…because White people are the fucking worst in their “inclusion”…without realizing Yoga is hot…

I guess Britney was stretching to deal with her mental illness her family convinced her she had – so that they could keep possession of her and her earnings….before making a public appearance…for Christmas…that she documented pretty extensively…even though Christmas is against the law in America….since it is not inclusive, but racist Southern Christians and their confederate flags…won’t give up on it yet….

The world is so stupid…HOWEVER…Britney’s parents aren’t…they got this all figured out…and they’re hicks…making me question you and your abilities.