SFW Archives - Page 20 of 1169 Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

2020

20

Feb

Salma Hayek TIts Out of the Day

Salma Hayek is being brave. If I’ve learned anything from watching the Golden Girls over and over again over the last 20 years….it’s that an old girl should never look at herself in the mirror looking down…gravity does some shit and it reveals everything they are trying to hide like how old they are…so always fuck on your back on on all fours…being on top is the TRUTH serum you want to avoid…UNLESS you’re jacked up with face fillers and BOTOX like all the celebs are.

This is a celebration of Salma’s hair, with some gratuitous tits, thanks to her being from the “Old School” when being a celebrity was at the closest it ever was to being a sex worker…use the tits, cocktease the right people, fuck the right people, get a career….whether you’re rich or not…it was manipulate the weak little bitch producer who could never get laid before being rich…get work…and matter.

Now she’s married to a billionaire, so she’s just doing this to keep up her legacy…to keep it all up and running…her husband being a rich dude is for sure a cuck….they all are and having dudes jerking off to her like she wasn’t 50…and she’s doing it with the tits.

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Salma Hayek|SFW

2020

20

Feb

Trying to See Kaia Gerber’s Tit on Cindy Crawford’s Birthday of the Day

No Comments »

Kaia Gerber get a lot of hype because she’s a rich kid with a famous mom. Cindy Crawford. Who happens to be celebrating her 54th birthday today….while her daughter that people like to think of as her clone, because she could be, is out walking the runway as she establishes herself as a “model”…which really doesn’t mean anything anymore…anyone can model…and when you’re a rich kid from Cindy Crawford’s womb…it’s pretty easy for you to execute that plan.

It is really just because people are pretty basic and just like what they are familiar with and are too busy being sick, lazy, exhausted by trying to cover their debt working multiple jobs, unable to really look past what is being presented to them….so that they buy into the nonsense…

While the marketing people and fashion industry people are just groupie fucks who want the hype that comes with all the effort Cindy has put into creating her daughter’s modeling career. They started her young and encouraged her to grow up to be a vapid idiot travelling in coke filled fashion circles…instead of doing something that matters…it’s like make her live this vapid instagram model turned real model because it’s the same thing life…cuz that’s what girl wants….and being a spoiled brat it is what she gets. Must have been a real struggle filled with rejection allowing her to persevere.

Everyone is like “look how much she looks like her mom”….which would explain why she looks 45 at 18…..

You shouldn’t bother with her because Pete Davidson’s already given her AIDS, damaged goods…but you are a groupie fuck who remembers jerking off to her mom…so this is for you…try to see them tits.

Here’s the show….if you’re a weirdo who has jerked off to fashion shows like myself…

Bella Hadid was also there, looking like shit, her right side of her lip looks like it was punched, maybe a lip filler fail…who knows.

Posted in:Kaia Gerber|SFW

2020

20

Feb

Monica Bellucci Still Got the Tits of the Day

No Comments »

Unlike Angelina Jolie, Monica Bellucci, still has her tits.

Monica Bellucci, who I assume is not related to Jim Belushi, even though it’d be hard to know they weren’t if this was a conversation and not in writing…because writing out their names that are spelled totally different, has put a damper on that ANGLE.

She has been celebrated by Italian Americans harder than if she was an empty container on the back of a truck, filled with Fur Coats / Cured Meats / Lobsters Filled with Heroin, or other MOB shit like arson for insurance settlements, being involved in Payola for the music industry, gambling…I mean VEGAS….even though the MOB doesn’t exist…

She must be in her 50s even 60s by now, I’m too lazy to google her, but I know she’s been around as long as I’ve had the internet and I got the internet in 1995. It was a simpler time in trolling actual nerds…before the mainstream came in and ruined it.

She is in this magazine, and like my Italian Barber would Say “Mamma Mia”….I don’t think he’d actually say that but I don’t know wop shit…that’s as good as it gets…blame the Mario Brothers…

Posted in:Monica Bellucci|SFW

2020

19

Feb

Sydney Sweeney Still Hot of the Day

No Comments »

As you all know, Sydney Sweeney is the most important set of big natural tits that Hollywood has curated for us.

She’s been strategically implemented into our minds via a bunch of hit shows, because managers and agencies need stars and it’s a 3-5 year plan to get them to star status.

Her breakout was when she ended up topless, so we could all grasp how big her tits were on her skinny frame, in something we like….thanks to the show SKINS, or whatever the new SKINS is called. (it’s called Euphoria.

So that pervert’s take on modern high school that HBO felt was good to prorduce because they like underage kids fucking, it is a way to get the younger audience they are losing back in…just some wholesome stories of teens fucking dads, and each other, some trans, some addicted to pills, some sluts, some working in sex work because that’s what real life is….thanks internet….all while HBO doesn’t get arrested for producing illegal / contraband / content…because the cast is all legal…they just play 16 year olds…not that I’m complaining…go racy or go home…I’ve always only been interested in movies for the nude scenes so that more we head in that direction the happier I am…because porn sucks, and movies suck, but merged together it’s where we need to be…and Sweeney is as good as any to champion that…you know cuz she’s got huge tits.

Here are some of the other shots.

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:SFW|Sydney Sweeney

2020

19

Feb

Madison Beer Getting Wet of the Day

No Comments »

I must be Autistic, because watching people filming their music videos, like Madison Beer, the Youtube Tits that a mainstream label signed thanks to Bieber, because Bieber’s story inspired her mom to turn her into some youtube whore for the pedos who use youtube to creep on kids….GOOD JOB GOOGLE…the publicly traded sex offending website that you should all boycot….

I think Bieber eventually signed her, but I could be wrong, I just feel like I read it once…I am not about to dig deep into the Madison Beer research…I am not a journalist…I just document random tits I come across…

But back to my autism, I just see this girl playing dramatic as she sings, and it’s as lame to me as when an “Influencer” poses dramatically..it’s awkward, lame, gives me the creep…

So as this big titty paparazzi fodder being cultivated by a marketing team sings to a camera looking “dramatic”…I think “she’s so full of shit”…but everyone is and America buys into anything that remotely resembles authentic emotion…because you’re so used to zero substance…

Luckily for us, her tits have substance, but not your substance, that I’m sure you’d rather see on her tits, because she’s young and she’s hot despite being lame.

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Madison Beer|SFW

2020

19

Feb

Stella Hudgens Booty in a Sundress of the Day

No Comments »

Stella Hudgens the celebrity sister that I’ve featured on the site a lot – mainly cuz she had big tits – but also because I like celebrity sisters. I know how women are, or tend to be, I’m not allowed to generalize women anymore, the snowflake pussies will come after me, which is actually what I’ve been trying to get them to do the last 15 years, you know to protest me and put me on the map for being this evil pervert creep that is ruining the kindness of the internet, but that instead they just ignored….making me obsolete….which is the OPPOSITE of what any natural troll like myself likes.

That said, I like celebrity sisters, because they are women and women hate being the second tier, so even if they get to ride the celebrity sister’s fame and get all the perks of celebrity, they are always in the shadow of that celebrity and it makes them hate themselves, and when a girl hates herself, we’re in a good place….

So as I look at Stella Hudgens, the titty Hudgens who never was but who is because of her sister, I see that she’s jacked her fucking face up with fillers like a Kardashian and she’s looking like a clown, and I ask…”Where is the sex tape”…if you want to get noticed you’ve got the best fucking marketing hook…..plus porn is mainstream now…maybe this has always been the calling….

We can assume that won’t happen but instead we’re left with clown shit, with clown faces. That is the future that is now. Hate that shit.

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:SFW|Stella Hudgens

2020

19

Feb

Jordyn Jones Gets Soaked of the Day

No Comments »

Straight from the mean streets of Kalamazoo, Michigan….Jordyn Jones was brought to Los Angeles at the age of 11 to launch her career that has involved being in something called Dance Camp at 16, I have no idea what that is, but assume you do because you’re a predator…

She’s done barely anything since, at least not according to her IMDB, but it’s the instagram era of online marketing, all you need to do is post provocative pics and the perverts who remember you from Dance Camp (YOU!), will track her down.

This is a video of her in a bikini bikini splash fight, on some SQUIRT SQUIRT simulation…..and I figure the pink bikini was enough for you perverts who remember her from Dance Camp when she was 16.

She’s in her 20s now, so it’s less perverted to fist yourself to her pics cuz prostate is the only way to orgasm now that your dick has failed you…..homo.

Here she is in some Roller Girl role play..

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Jordyn Jones|SFW

2020

18

Feb

Noah Cyrus Booty of the Day

No Comments »

Noah Cyrus produced one of those Valentine’s you send to the kid you don’t like in elementary school because now that everything is inclusive, and everyone gets a participation price, you have no choice but to send every single classmate a Valentine, since that is EXACTLY how real life works, which I am sure does great things for these kids when they grow up, there’s not way it makes them annoying entitled cunts who think they deserve everything because they “exist”….

You know, the passive aggressive, fuck you valentine that is photoshopped so hard you can’t quite make out how she looks like the inbred retard sister of Miley they kept in the basement for daddy to breed with….you know backwoods shit….she’s a fucking troll and fat ass or not…this is probably not what it actually looks like. EVERYTHING IS A LIE.

That’s all I got on that.

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:noah cyrus|SFW

2020

18

Feb

Ashley Greene Boudoir Shoot of the Day

No Comments »

Ashley Greene isn’t that hot, but she was the not that hot girl in in the Twilight movies and got pretty famous. She even had sex with a Jonas brother while they pretended to not have sex…they wore purity rings guys….so you know it was real and not just DISNEY marketing those dudes as wholesome…she was Florida Trash before being famous, so I can tell you a few things about how you become famous when you’re florida trash, but maybe Weinstein’s better suited for that lesson.

That said, she’s old, tired and married now, and here she is in a nude boudoir shoot shot by her husband for Valentine’s Day.

Which is exactly why it’s all over the internet, you know, because it was just a girl trying to have a sexy moment for her husband.

You know to shoot these pics together before having sex because both were all worked up like an IG photographer and some slut with a Patreon, which is really what Ashley Greene was better suited to be…..only Ashley Greene won’t call rape on him when she finds God….and keep these pics as a sacred memento for each other to reference when they are older…..only instead of that bitch said “let’s get some attention so people remember me” and released them to the internet….THIRSTY….