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Archive for the Uncategorized Category

2005

04

Oct

I am – Barbie Girl

I love bitches who rock their webcam, especially when they are naked. But I make exceptions for the weird girls out there, who rock out to Aqua with stupid make-up on their faces while rubbin their tits and lip syncing. I would probably be happier seeing her suck off her boyfriend, but you know, I can’t only post nudity up on this shit. It will tarnish my reputation of being the classiest blogger out there, and I am not comfortable ruining my image just to make you perverts happy. If you are so inclined to hunt down naked girls on webcam, I am sure there are pay sites for you, let’s face it, you don’t need the money you make as a Walgreens stockboy, you will be living with your mom for many years to come. After you swallow those cold hard facts, feel free to watch this video, because it is hysterical…if you don’t hate yourself too much to laugh…..

Via Otty Baby (the only man who loves me)

Watch Video Here

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2005

04

Oct

I am – Ashlee Simpson 21

So Ashlee Simpson is 21, and it is only downhill from here. Bitch is already aging horribly and has a face that looks like she was hit by a bus as a child. I say this only because I know a girl who was hit by a bus as a child, and all the plastic surgery her welfare parent could afford left her looking mangled and shit. The good thing about an aging is that her vagina loosens up a little, not that that will help you, I know little penis like little holes to fuck, but little hole or not, dude, you aint ever getting pussy, even if you’re date raping…no drug out there is strong enough to let a girl loose herself and let you in her country. The other thing with aging is that it’s a litmus test, we know that at 17, Ashlee could pull off being fuckable, but as her face grows into itself, bitch gets uglier and uglier by the minute. Who am I kidding, all girls are fuckable, it just take the right amount of booze and meth…..it’s all downhill for you now girl…that’s the point of this post. Did you like it?

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2005

04

Oct

I am – At the Zoo Flasher

I have memories of going to the zoo as a little boy, being amazed by the size of the elephant’s cock, an the amount of shit a monkey can throw at the people gawking at him. Motherfucker just wanted some privacy. In reality, I never went to a zoo as a kid, I lived in Mexico, and our backyard was a lot like a zoo with stray dogs and our troop of donkies, but I did work at a zoo for a little while, when you get out of prison, they usually throw you into some job that usually involves picking up shit. When I worked at the zoo I wasn’t lucky enough to see some random slut running around flashing her cooter. If I had, I’d probably still be there today, waiting for the next pussy to expose itself. Either way, girls who flash in public are fucking cool, and should be a lesson to the 2 girls who read this site. Guys like it better when you are loose and expose your junk…it’s instant respect and doesn’t make you a slut…..keep that in mind next time you’re visiting a public place designed for children, you pervert.

Check out the pics via Attu

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2005

03

Oct

I am – Britney Spears’ Bra on eBay for Katrina

So being from the south, there’s really only one thing Britney can do, and that is support the crisis that is hitting close to home. Being from the south, there’s really only one way bitch knows how, and that’s to either take off her clothes, or get knocked up to raise money for a charity. Now, just because she was raised to be a trashy whore, doesn’t mean that fame, fortune and a Husband on welfare will stop her from selling her jewel encrusted bra on eBay. I don’t really know where I am going with this, but I do know that it’s totally cliche for a bra to be involved in shameless Spears self-promotion.

I belive that you should all donate to the Hurricane Survivors, if you have the means, and I figure why not get something you can jerk off to out of it. I know this may be the first and last bra some of you ever see, so you might as well spend your life-savings on one, so that you don’t ruin it the first day while shoving it up your ass.

No one is judging you, anal stimulation is highly excepted these days, and it doesn’t make you gay, even though I already think you are.

If anyone has pics of her in this bra, send them my way!

If you want more info,I came across this article, who am I kidding, I don’t read fucking articles, but Otty sent it to me and you can Read Article Here

If reading articles isn’t your thing, go check directly to ebay and Check out the Auction Here

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2005

03

Oct

I am – Britney Spears' Bra on eBay for Katrina

So being from the south, there’s really only one thing Britney can do, and that is support the crisis that is hitting close to home. Being from the south, there’s really only one way bitch knows how, and that’s to either take off her clothes, or get knocked up to raise money for a charity. Now, just because she was raised to be a trashy whore, doesn’t mean that fame, fortune and a Husband on welfare will stop her from selling her jewel encrusted bra on eBay. I don’t really know where I am going with this, but I do know that it’s totally cliche for a bra to be involved in shameless Spears self-promotion.

I belive that you should all donate to the Hurricane Survivors, if you have the means, and I figure why not get something you can jerk off to out of it. I know this may be the first and last bra some of you ever see, so you might as well spend your life-savings on one, so that you don’t ruin it the first day while shoving it up your ass.

No one is judging you, anal stimulation is highly excepted these days, and it doesn’t make you gay, even though I already think you are.

If anyone has pics of her in this bra, send them my way!

If you want more info,I came across this article, who am I kidding, I don’t read fucking articles, but Otty sent it to me and you can Read Article Here

If reading articles isn’t your thing, go check directly to ebay and Check out the Auction Here

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2005

03

Oct

I am – Katie Lohman Car Wash

I have no idea who Katie Lohman is, but I generally have no idea who any of the people I post about are. I am completely out of the loop. What I do know though is that she’s doing some fundraising for the Katrina benefit, which on the surface seems like a good thing to do, but upon further investigation, it is obvious that it is a publicity stunt for whatever project she may be working on. I am sure she’s not involved in too many life changing projects, only because she’s got big tits, no self respect and girls like her are used in their prime because they are more than willing to show off their bodies, usually the only thing they have going for them. I don’t wanna come across as a bitter man, the reality is, I love girls with big tits and low self-esteem, without them, strip clubs would be pretty boring places. Amateur night would include people like me practicing our pole dances, and although that may get some of you hot and bothered, the reality is it’s not all that hot.

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2005

03

Oct

I am – Box Mag


There’s a new sexually charged hipster magazine out there and it’s called Box, which is pretty appropriate, because everyone likes box, even your sister, and she’s not even a dyke. Either way this magazine has a lot of amateur polaroid style pics that remind me of an American Apparel ad campaign, and has an interview with some dude while getting drunk that reminds me of VICE. I am sure if they read this they’d be completely insulted. I am sure part of them wants to believe that they are totally original and that their magazine is some next level shit. Download it and go through it, there are only 32 pages, you can make up your own useless mind, but we can all agree on one thing, these fuckers should be begging me to write for them, not because I know what’s up, or because I am hip, but because you all love me, and it makes me feel a little awkward sometimes. When it comes down to it though, I understand why we all need a drunken mexican to look up for and that is why I am here for you.

Cuddles.

Download the Box-Mag Here via coolhunting

Email them to let them know how useless being hipster trash is Here

Remember that dressing a dude up in panties and taking a polaroid is NEVER next level.

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2005

03

Oct

I am – Matthew Barney – Artist of the Day

I don’t know much about this guy, other than the fact that he is married to Bjork. I am not a Bjork fan, I just find her tedious and obnoxious and think that anyone who is a real artist, doesn’t need to advertise it by going out of their way to be over-the-top and outrageous. I think the world’s best artist are homeless lookin’ people who are too socially awkward to really ever make it, and when they do, the fear of society drives them into a deeper self-hating place, rather than showing up at award shows in their underwear, they disappear from the face of the earth to a small cabin somewhere to sit and enjoy being out of the lime light. Either way, I have heard about Barney’s movies and they include a lot of vaginal references; like him crawling through a small tunnel covered in vasline and this picture of a vaginal like mouth. I am really all about the vagina so that’s why Barney is the artist of the day.

Check out his fansite here

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2005

03

Oct

I am – Natalee Holloway in Aruba


So a young American girl leaves on a trip after graduating, never comes home. It’s a pretty tragic story, even if the girl was partially asking for it. I don’t want to get all your panties in a knot, yes, we all know you wear women’s underwear, but only because it makes you feel pretty and not because of your really small penis…I did a little reading on the case, because I hadn’t heard anything about it, I like being out of the loop on current events, because they are depressing…anyway, this girl goes to Aruba, she’s 18 and she never comes home. No one knows where she is right now, she could be dead or in a cult, but either way she was out in a club the night before her disappearance, probably completely wasted, maybe the first time she was ever wasted, and with being young and drunk comes a level of irresponsability. One where girls go home with strangers, end up getting date raped and sometimes even worse, because their rational judgement isn’t where it should be, and they have been exposed to Girl’s Gone Wild, and they are in a tropical place, in bikinis all day, taking part in the wet t-shirt contest while eating out their best friend on a stage, in front of 1000 people.

The facts are shady, and the girl’s still missing, but if she was never out getting wasted in a club, thinking being a pornstar is “the coolsest shit like,ever!”, she would have never left with some dude named Joran, a guy from Amsterdam, rumored to be the last person to see her….

Thanks to a bunch of sites this is rumored to be her and Joran naked in the water…..by the looks of it, he doesn’t seem to be forcing her to do anything she’s not more than happy to do.

Watch Clip Here via Planet Suzy

It could be fake, but kinda embarssing as the last thing for the world to remember you by, sorry for being a part of this, but it’s for the bigger cause, which is drawing attention to this and helping bring Natalee home….

Now go check out this hater’s Blog with Updates on Joran Here

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2005

02

Oct

I am – Kate Moss Cocaine Video

So this bitch does YAY, who gives a fuck, I would say 90 percent of people do it, especially people with her kind of money and her lax work schedule. Think of it like this, she goes to a photoshoot, dresses up, gets pictures taken, and the day is over and she is 250,000 dollars richer. What the hell else is she supposed to do with her time and money. The fact that she lost tons of contracts because of this is fucking crazy to me, especially when we know the executives who made this decision, spent the better part of this weekend ripping lines in some Penthouse. Someone needs to start up a Free Moss site, and get this bitch some work, because cocaine habit or not, she’s still a model, and models are what make the world go round

Watch Video Here

(link changed due to cease and desist – this one should work a while)

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted