Unsorted Archives - Page 168 of 511 Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

2007

30

Mar

I am – Laura Prepon See-Thru Shirt of the Day

I have this new pickup line for you virgins to try. Go to a club and tell the girl you are trying to sleep with about how awkward you feel being there. When she asks why, tell her that you’ve banged every single girl in the place and they are acting like they don’t know you. She’ll totally fall for it and think that you are amazing in bed because a guy like you can’t get pussy on your looks alone, you must have some real talent. The whole other issue is that girls love UGG boots, they wear these fucking things from no matter what walk of life they are walkin, they don’t care if they go to a party and every girl is in UGGS, if anything it makes them feel like they made the right choice. I am just telling you to be the next UGGS, but instead of keeping their feet warm, you’ll make the hate themselves for letting a guy like you in their junk…

I once knew a guy who banged hundreds of chicks, and he’d always ask girls to be whatever number he was onto, he’d be like “baby, you wanna be number 156” and it would work. Girls didn’t think Herpes when they got with him, they thought, “OMG 155 girls are onto this and I’m not, fuck that noise, I’m trendy too” and in return he’d give them HERPES but they’d only find out 6-8 weeks down the line….

Posted in:Laura Prepon|Unsorted

2007

30

Mar

I am – Pam Anderson Hiding of the Day

3 Comments »

I know the only girls you’ve ever had were putting up a fight. I know that anything that you try to reference when jerking off conisists of memories of girls in the fetal position or covering their faces in fear of what you are going to do next, not because you are a sexual predator or rapist, but because you are you, and your look alone is enough to make a girl question what the fuck she’s about to let you do to her.

Pam Anderson, a girl who gave hope to big breasted blonde chicks worldwide that there was more to life than being a stripper, and that looks alone could have let you fuck rockstars, get hepatitis, , and live the high life while keeping your porn star look without actually being a pornstar, except for in your own tape, but that doesn’t count. What does count is that she’s covering up her tits and hiding her catchers mitt of a face for the camera. I can only assume she’s scared of her nipples making their way back on to the internet, even though we’ve already seen them. Or maybe she’s hiding the fact that she’s a busted old pick-up truck. I’ve learnt the hard way at strip clubs that if you build your career on your looks and you get old, there’s not much let for you to do than work the bar and serve me some fucking drinks old timer…

Posted in:Pamela Anderson|Unsorted

2007

30

Mar

I am – Kelly Clarkson on the Beach of the Day

2 Comments »

Fat dudes always wear t-shirts when they go to the beach and Kelly Clarkson is no exception. She knows that she should have an eating disorder and she’s taking action on it by not letting the world see she likes cake. At least her weight problem doesn’t prevent her from having a good time, or from hiring 10 fatter chicks to stand next to her in bikinis in attempts to make her look skinny. It’s like when you shave your pubes trying to make your dick look bigger. I don’t really know what I am talking about, but I do know that Kelly Clarkson’s legs burn like a middle-aged fat mother of 5 who works at the grocery store and who’s pasty legs never seen the sun in 15 years on a trip she won to Mexico in the local draw. I think being fat and not being able to tan go hand in hand, but I haven’t figured out why but I have figured out that we need a little Katherine Mcphee up in here to show this bitch how an American Idol starves herself proper.

Posted in:Kelly Clarkson|Unsorted

2007

30

Mar

I am – Christina Aguilera in Montreal of the Day

58 Comments »

Here are the only pics I could find of Christina Aguilera partying in Montreal with her back-up dancers, or as I like to call them, a popstars hired friends and future husbands.

I didn’t got to this event, because I don’t leave the house, but I did see her tour buses and it was almost as hot as the real thing, because despite how much I want to see Christina sitting on her husbands face, she kinda looks like she’s been run over a few times since her days at Disney.

Speaking of sitting on faces and Disney, I went to a Disney exhibit at the local art museum, because Disney is apparently art and they had a modeling sized Pinnochio model that you’d probably like to sit on its face.

If you are wondering why I was at a Disney exhibit it was because there was promises of free booze and I wanted to scope out security before starting my Sunday Morning protest outside the museum picketing. I am protesting that Walt Disney molested my grandmother when she was a little girl at his theme park. I think it will get me some airtime on local news. I will keep you posted on how it all works out for me…I may be too lazy….

For some insane Christina Aguilera Cleavage Pics GO HERE

Posted in:Christina Aguilera|Unsorted

2007

30

Mar

I am – Tiffany Mulheron is Big Breasted of the Day

7 Comments »

I like to go to the strippers on table scraps monday because all the strippers who made money on the weekend aren’t around to get in the way, I am drawn to the struggle and it makes for a good time because everyone knows they are desperate and they can’t run their whole “I am too hot to dance for you” bullshit.

This bitch’s name is Tiffany Mulheron and I have never heard of her but now I have seen her tits…she is probably too hot for you and if this was monday night at the strip club, she’d probably have the night off…

Check out her myspace HERE

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2007

30

Mar

I am – Gemma Atkinson Bikini Pics of the Day

1 Comment »

I know that I posted a link to these Gemma Atkinson Bikini pics in my stepLINKS, but her tits are MASSIVE and when I see big ol’ cans, I have no choice but to right click, save, open in photoshop, resize so that you can’t zoom in on her nipples and upload it here for 10 lame virgins to look at and send me hate mail about how they’ve been following Gemma Atkinson’s career for the last 10 years and that these pictures are actually 2 weeks old and I am a hack at what I do.

I never said that i wasn’t bad at this shit, I just can’t stop setting my stupid stories that no one reads. to celebrity and non celebrity tits, bikins, nipples, vaginas, etc. Especailly when the are of Gemma Atkinson…

I may not know who Gemma Atkinson is, but now I know her tits, breasts, nipples, cleavage, cans, knockers, jugs boobs.

This was my attempt at search engine optimization. How did it work for you.

Get all the High Quality Pics HERE

Posted in:Gemma Atkinson|Unsorted

2007

30

Mar

I am – stepLINKS of the Day

9 Comments »

I was walking down the street making fun of my friend’s male pattern baldness, when god struck down on me for being such a bad person in the form of some weird powder shit blowing in my eye and stinging harder than your VD, not that you’d have VD unless you paid for it. I thought it was some chemical warfare, you know Bin Laden taking North America Down Via Canada.

I went to the pharmacy, picked up an eye wash thing and started pouring this shit all over my face in the aisle. I am a little bit of a panicking pussy when it comes to getting shit in my eye, unless it is real shit than I am all for it. I have always loved scat.

Speaking of scat, here are my links a few hours late…

Gisele Look Alike Video
GO

Michelle Rodriguez Shoves Seaweed in her Bikini Bottoms
GO

Kelly Clarkson Covered Up on the Beach With Someone Who May or May Not Should Be
GO

Gemma Atkinson and Roxanne Pallett in Bikinis by the Pool
GO

Some Amateur Hot Chick Video
GO

Aussie Chick With Huge Tits Video
GO

Alessia Merz Naked
GO

Girls Gone Wild Collection
GO

Carmen Electra Milk on Tits
GO

Rose McGowan on Stripper Poles
GO

Pictures from the Set of a Porn
GO

Another Courtney Love Bikini Pic
GO

Paris Hilton is Going to Jail
GO

Drew Barrymore Bangs Chicks
GO

Fitness Model Skippin Rope
GO

Some Rare Marilyn Monroe Pics
GO

Jamie Hammer New Video
GO

A Good Ad Cuz It’s Got Bouncy Tit Action
GO

Maria Sharapova Tennis Upskirt
GO

Salma Hayek in Some Movie
GO

Lohan Without Her Bra
GO

Cheryl Tweedy Almost Flashes Her Box
GO

Cool Advertising in the Girl’s Bathroom…..My Favorite Place
GO

Classic Country Dance Video
GO

Hey Virgin this One’s For You
GO

Dita Von Tease Pictures
GO

Allegra Versace is Thin
GO

Lookin’ Good Sweetheart Video
GO

Some Videos To Watch….

Drunk Chick Video
GO

Massive Breast Sighting
GO

Bikini Music Video
GO

Creepy Bus Stalker
GO

Cancer Video Shows Bare Tit – Sad
GO

Short Cleavage Video
GO

Padge Has Cleavage Video
GO

Cleavage Shot Video
GO

Girl Shows Her Cleavage Video
GO

Ghetto Cleavage
GO

Tina Has Major Cleavage According to Her Friends
GO

Circle of Cleavage
GO

Girls Fight in Bikinis But I am More into the Donkey
GO

Hot Chicks on the Beach
GO

Georgian Slut Bikini Nip Slip
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS|Unsorted

2007

29

Mar

I am – Hot Music Video With Tits of the Day

No Comments »

This band is called Operator and this song is called Soulcrusher. I have never heard of either but that’s okay, because I am am not a music blogger, all I do know is that I seem to only post tits or pictures of girls who have tits and this video, that I watched on mute, because my speakers are broken has lots of tits in it. That is pretty much all I need to determine whether it’s worth watching. The lead singer is some actor IMBD HIM

I like that things are moving in the tit direction, taking on porno elements in the mainstream, because I am tired of getting rejected from advertising deals because I post tits, while this band will only become famous because they post tits. Since I’ve never heard of them, I’ll call this another BUCKCHERRY situation, where I crashed their fucking servers, and helped make a case to get them signed by inflating their internet video popularity, and I never saw a fucking dollar for it.

I didn’t even land an interview with them or free tickets to their show…I don’t even think I got their CD, that I probably would have taken a shit on because their music fucking sucks, but I do know that they don’t give a fuck about how bad their music is while they are fucking whores in the bathroom of their million dollar tour buses that I got people to piss on…

Either way…Operator, I just made you famous, Bitch.

Posted in:stepFAME|stepMUSIC|Unsorted

2007

29

Mar

I am – Christina Aguilera's Tour Bus of the Day

No Comments »

Christina Aguilera was in town tonight and I got something more interesting than pics of Christina Aguilera upskirts according to me and that’s a video of Christina Aguilera’s tour buses after her show. She did some cameo at some club that tried to charge me 20 dollars to get in and I don’t have any fucking money and left. But fate brought me together with her tour bus on the highway because a higher power new that we were connected at the fuel pump and lucky for me bitch’s tour buses were rolling next to us for a few minutes. This is the closest I will ever get to this cunt, but reality is that when I was a kid I always wanted a Tonka truck and not a blow up dolls, so it all worked out in the end….Look at me I am TMZ motherfuckers.

If you’re lucky there will be more pictures to come from inside the event…

Posted in:Christina Aguilera|stepTV|Unsorted

2007

29

Mar

I am – Christina Aguilera’s Tour Bus of the Day

51 Comments »

Christina Aguilera was in town tonight and I got something more interesting than pics of Christina Aguilera upskirts according to me and that’s a video of Christina Aguilera’s tour buses after her show. She did some cameo at some club that tried to charge me 20 dollars to get in and I don’t have any fucking money and left. But fate brought me together with her tour bus on the highway because a higher power new that we were connected at the fuel pump and lucky for me bitch’s tour buses were rolling next to us for a few minutes. This is the closest I will ever get to this cunt, but reality is that when I was a kid I always wanted a Tonka truck and not a blow up dolls, so it all worked out in the end….Look at me I am TMZ motherfuckers.

If you’re lucky there will be more pictures to come from inside the event…

Posted in:Christina Aguilera|stepTV|Unsorted

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