I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

Archive for the Unsorted Category

2006

24

Apr

I am – Miss USA Myspace

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There are a lot of useless things in this world. One of those things happens to be Beauty Pageants, and another one of those things is Kentucky. I never understood what kind of Jon Benet Ramsey, white trash motherfucker, thought that Beauty Pageants were luxury. All these mother’s in beauty salons with their cunt daughters, doing their hair up like they were 5 dollar hookers, all while under the age of 12, thinking they were living the life of a queen, while looking like a drag queen. I never understood what kind of white trash, dumb slut of a communications student would think of herself as pretty enough and worthy of being crowned Miss America, especially in a world of eating disorders, low self esteem and addiction, teenage pregnancy and failure. You know that these over-achieving bitches are just trying to live their child hood dream, cuz I remember Miss USA Barbie, and I am not even Barbies market, I am just a pervert.

Anyway, over achieving bitches who think they are the prettiest thing in the USA will be the biggest pain in the ass for whoever marries this cunt. You know that she’s a perfectionist and now has an ego that she’s the prettiest girl in the country, and that’s something she will never live down….either way we all know the real pretty girls are ripping lines in the bathrooms of our local clubs while getting fucked by dudes with herpes and fake tans, beauty pageants are for pain in the ass bitches who are too dumb to realize how dumb they are….and now, some useless information about this bitch…..Cuddles.

Tara Elizabeth Conner, Miss Kentucky, was named Miss USA 2006 last night. A native of Russell Springs, she is the first woman from Kentucky to win the title in the 55-year history of the pageant. A student of Business Administration at Somerset Community College in south-central Kentucky, Tara has worked as a model and waitress. In 2002, she competed in the Miss Teen USA pageant and became the 2nd runner-up. She also won the swimsuit competition and the Miss GB Teen USA award that year. In November of 2005, she won the Miss Kentucky USA title among 37 contestants. Tara Elizabeth stands 5’5″ in height. She will compete for the Miss Universe 2006 title. The international pageant will take place in Los Angeles on July 23rd.



Visit Her Locked Myspace Here
(bitch is too cool for you)

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

24

Apr

I am – Pheromone Challenge Update of the Day

I am still fully behind this Pheromone challenge, I just have been neglecting to post the submissions, because all you motherfuckers try to ruin the fun by saying I do it for money. I do it because it’s good content and if it gets some of my 5 readers involved then I am happy, more importantly, if it gives those same 5 people the confidence to talk to a girl, or if it helps them smell better than the pieces of shit they are, and if it actually works and allows them to finally lose their virginity, then maybe they’ll stop sending me depressing emails about still living with their overbearing mothers. Picking up chicks is a lot like fixing a broken washing machine…it takes strength and all kinds of tools to get them screaming your name while you’re raw doggin’ their cooters on the first date. I guess that’s really got nothing to do with fixing a washing machine, but you get the point, you’ll need more than just this spray to get girls, you’ll also need a personality….there is a reason Axe’s whole campaign is based on getting pussy for smelling good, anyway, here’s a recent email that I got.

Dear Jesus Martinez,

Not too sure if you are still accepting pheremone updates or not, because it seems everyone hates them, but im sending these pictures to you anyways.

Last week my brother came to help me bring my stuff home for the summer. I decided that he did be a big favour, and that i should take him out for some drinks, show him the city, and celebrate me being done school. However, before we went out for the night, he started telling me about this “new cologne” he bought that helps you pick up chicks. I told him about the site and showed him some of the previous pheremone posts, then decided to do our own challenge.

We ended up at some local dive. Chicks are pretty easy there to begin with, so we thought it would be a good place to start. Not even 20 minutes after getting a seat at the bar, we had 3 girls talking to us. One of the girls boyfriends was even trying to get me to make out with his girl, it was weird. We got them showing us their tits, making out with each other and I ended up making out with this big tittied bitch with the craziest body, while my brother was sucking on some other girls nipple. Apparently she was a virgin.

We had to get up early, so we pussied out and went home before it got really crazy and I have a girlfriend. That’s why I blurred out our faces, hope you can still use them. It was fun, but not worth getting dumped over. I just thought i’d write you and let you know that not everyone hates the pheremone stuff. I know my brother will be talking about this for months. Keep it up!

Love the site!

Jonathan (not his real name)

If you want in on the fun check the pherlure here

Posted in:stepPHEROMONECHALLENGE|Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

22

Apr

I am – Stepedestrian of the Day

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Sometimes when I walk behind people I like to videotape their asses without them knowing. I especially like doing it when the girl I am filming has a hot ass, because I like hot ass more than non-hot ass. This is a video that I would have called Step Ass of the Day, but we are launching this new feature, where we post pics of random people off the street. There’s not much more to say about this, other than I want to titty fuck this girls ass and accidently get it pregnant, that way she’ll be forced to talk to me for the rest of our lives for the sake of our baby. Unfortunatley, my penis doesn’t work anymore, so I am stuck with this video. This girl is heaven. Enjoy.

I just made your ass famous, bitch.

Posted in:stepFAME|stepTV|Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

22

Apr

I am – Lohan Stalker Post of the Day


I am convinced this Lohan Stalker Post of the Day feature will eventually lead to meeting Lohan, even if it’s in court and she’s testifying against me. I am really only doing it cuz I am like the kid in the schoolyard who spits on the girl I like because I am not very good at expressing myself. I also have no game and the chances of me being in her presence in person is slim to none, as people like me are kicked out of the neighborhood this bitch lives in, making it impossible to get to the clubs she attends…I won’t stop until Lohan falls in love with me…or I get bored…which is probably more likely.

Lucky for me, Steve slammed a girl who played the Jock in Mean Girls, and he gave me her email address. She is also Darth Vader’s sister. His email is at the end of this post.

Dear Kaylen Christensen,

I know you aren’t much of a celebrity and that Lohan probably doesn’t even remember you. Just because you had some minor role in the movie Mean Girls, doesn’t mean you have Lohan’s number or anything. Just because your brother was in Star Wars, doesn’t mean he knows Lohan either. But I am a desperate man, and I am willing to email anyone remotely close to Lohan in efforts to get my hands on her email address, home address and/or phone number. Lohan and I are meant to be, she just doesn’t know I exist yet, so if you can help me in anyway, I would greatly appreciate it. I’d hate for you to be the reason destiny didn’t work out the way it is supposed to…..

With Love,

Jesus Martinez
DrunkenStepfather.com

Here’s Steve’s Email, which allowed me to contact Kaylen…Thanks Steve.

Yo,

I have an idea that may help with your Lohan Stalker Post of the day.

About a year ago, when my best friend was in college, i would go down and hang out with him at the campus pub to try and pick up chicks. He went to the same school as Hayden Christensens sister. Her name is Kaylen. One night I ended up bringing her back to my friends place and showed her the force on the living room floor. Thats right, i slammed Darth Vader’s sister.

Anyways, Kaylen was in Mean Girls with Lohan. She used to brag to me about how they were friends. Maybe she has her number. Here is her email.

Somehow after months and months of sexual suggestive Star Wars references, we managed to stay friends, having little (and i do mean little) flings here and there. She was nice. Hope it helps.

with love,

Steve “golden light-saber” McKeon

Related Post:

Lohan Stalker Post – Day 2
Lohan Stalker Post – Day 1

Posted in:stepSTALKER|Unsorted

2006

21

Apr

I am – MySpace.com Death of the Day

My only reader sent me a link to a page that posts dead people’s myspace profiles. So, I’m going through it to see if anyone on my list is dead, and I come across this death:

Deaf beauty contest winner Tara McAvoy was walking along the railroad tracks from her Austin, Texas, home to her mother’s workplace, text-messaging family and friends, when a train struck her and killed her

Death isn’t funny, but it’s part of life and something we can laugh at, especially when the death is caused by being a dumb bitch who proves that trains don’t kill people … dumb deaf chicks text messaging family and friends while walking on train tracks kill themselves. It’s pretty obvious that if you’re not blessed with all five senses, try to rely on the ones that work to keep you out of harm’s way … and by harm’s way, I mean speeding trains. I guess the whole beauty pageant thing got to Miss Deaf Texas’ head because Helen Keller never got hit by a train, and that bitch was blind, deaf and mute. I guess this goes to prove to us that some handicaps are smarter than others, I just always slotted them in the same category of retarded because I am ignorant.

Find Out More About This Death Here

Pay Your Respect on Her MySpace Here

all via MyDeathSpace.com

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

21

Apr

I am – Tara Reid’s Nipple

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I think the best thing Tara Reid did for herself was get implants. It solidified the fact that she was a piece of garbage. That’s not to say that everyone with implants is a piece of garbage. A lot of hot classy bitches have implants that their rich older husbands bought them…and many breast cancer survivors have implants too….but in Tara’s case, her getting implants is a lot like a 19 year old stripper getting implants. Whenever I go to a strip club, I get a lap dance from a young girl with implants, just because I know they have committed to the job and want my money. I love the look on their faces after they spend 2 hours of dancing for me, when I tell them that I have no money on me….I guess that’s the cost of doing business you dirty whore. Anyway, Tara’s nipple is kinked out weird, you’d think that someone with a decent breast implant budget wouldn’t have to deal with a this kind of result.


Bonus: Tara Reid After Being Sick in the Bathroom

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

21

Apr

I am – Tara Reid's Nipple

TARATOP.jpg

I think the best thing Tara Reid did for herself was get implants. It solidified the fact that she was a piece of garbage. That’s not to say that everyone with implants is a piece of garbage. A lot of hot classy bitches have implants that their rich older husbands bought them…and many breast cancer survivors have implants too….but in Tara’s case, her getting implants is a lot like a 19 year old stripper getting implants. Whenever I go to a strip club, I get a lap dance from a young girl with implants, just because I know they have committed to the job and want my money. I love the look on their faces after they spend 2 hours of dancing for me, when I tell them that I have no money on me….I guess that’s the cost of doing business you dirty whore. Anyway, Tara’s nipple is kinked out weird, you’d think that someone with a decent breast implant budget wouldn’t have to deal with a this kind of result.


Bonus: Tara Reid After Being Sick in the Bathroom

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

21

Apr

I am – Kimberly Stewart's Bikini

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These are pictures of Kimmy Stewart wasting her life away at the beach in a bikini. You see, this girl’s got no talent, no career and her dad’s made enough money to keep her drug addiction, plastic surgery and days at the beach comin’. He’s also made enough money for hot models 20 years younger than him to pretend they’re coming, while he’s coming (inside them), knocking them up, marrying them, and creating a new race in his image, called the Stewarts because there are so fucking many of them. The fact that Rod was on American Idol and sings American Classics, is not the issue here. The issue is why is his son such a cunt, the kind of guy all of us want to beat up, but also the kind of guy who spends his days at the beach, his nights at the hottest clubs and hotel parties with celebrities, all while fucking the hottest girls in sight.

Point of the story is that you should be proud driving your 10 year old car, working your bullshit office job, spending your paycheck on paying bills, fucking ugly bitches when they get too drunk to say no, because at you did it yourself. It’s much more rewarding knowing that you aren’t living off daddy’s millions….at least that’s what you jealous cunts should be telling yourself….

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Bonus – Sean Stewart – Kimberly’s Brother

and his tattoo…

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

21

Apr

I am – Kimberly Stewart’s Bikini

kimberly-seantop1.jpg

These are pictures of Kimmy Stewart wasting her life away at the beach in a bikini. You see, this girl’s got no talent, no career and her dad’s made enough money to keep her drug addiction, plastic surgery and days at the beach comin’. He’s also made enough money for hot models 20 years younger than him to pretend they’re coming, while he’s coming (inside them), knocking them up, marrying them, and creating a new race in his image, called the Stewarts because there are so fucking many of them. The fact that Rod was on American Idol and sings American Classics, is not the issue here. The issue is why is his son such a cunt, the kind of guy all of us want to beat up, but also the kind of guy who spends his days at the beach, his nights at the hottest clubs and hotel parties with celebrities, all while fucking the hottest girls in sight.

Point of the story is that you should be proud driving your 10 year old car, working your bullshit office job, spending your paycheck on paying bills, fucking ugly bitches when they get too drunk to say no, because at you did it yourself. It’s much more rewarding knowing that you aren’t living off daddy’s millions….at least that’s what you jealous cunts should be telling yourself….

kimberly-seanytop3.jpg


Bonus – Sean Stewart – Kimberly’s Brother

and his tattoo…

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

21

Apr

I am – Comment of the Week

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I decided to reward the people who spam my site daily with useless comments, because without you my site would be so much better. You distract my readers from what I am saying, which could be a good thing, considering I don’t know how to write, but I still hate you. So, Steve’s going to choose his favorite comment of the week, because I don’t actually read your comments. It’s not that I am too good for you, it’s that I am lazy.

Here are the winner and loser of the week.

Best Comment of the Week – Freddy gets a Step T-shirt – If he isn’t too scared to give us his address.

Freddy Says:
April 20th, 2006 at 10:49 pm
Post: I am – PhotoBucket Girl of the Day

That Isaac Newton needed an apple to fall on his head to determine principles of gravity. Look at this bitch’s tits. WhooooooooooWeeeeee. No apple or doctorate degree needed for my study. These melons are proof enough to support the existence of a strong gravitational pull. Those boobs are knee bound. I could make yamulkas for fat headed Jews out of her fucking bra cups

Bonus – Worst Comment of the Week

christina Says:
April 19th, 2006 at 4:49 am
Post: I am – Kelly Clarkson’s Hot Dog

I love her I think she looks gorgeous! and she is not fat she is NORMAL!

Chrsitna even though you suck, and think fat bitches are skinny, and skinny bitches are disgusting, I would still like to see what you look like naked. S o bitch, feel free to send your pics Here

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted