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Archive for the Whitney Port Category

2010

12

Feb

Whitney Port Skinny Legs of the Day

1 Comment »

I like skinny bitches as much as the next guy who is stuck with a fat fucking wife for the last 10 years of his life, where seeing her take a bite out of any food, even apples and oranges makes you want to throw the fuck up and sure Whitney Port will be forgotten in the next year when The Hills is finally put to rest, and I know she isn’t hot, but skinny daddy long legs like this will come in handy for her when she’s either working the pole to pay her rent, or working some rich dude’s pole to maintain her lifestyle as the Hollywood nobody she’s become….both require the same level of prostituting herself, which lucky for her takes less prostituting than it took to attach herself to The Hills….or what I like to call The Peak of Her Career and Celebrity.

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Legs|Skinny|Whitney Port

2010

19

Jan

Whitney Port is Just As Useless in a Bikini of the Day

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Here’s Whitney Port proving that she’s just as useless in a bikini as she is in the rest of her life, especially now that The Hills have been replaced by Jersey Shore, which is really funny if you think about it…mainly because it forces all these twats to come to terms with how much of a fucking joke they all are. Sure their 15 minutes lastest far too long for my liking, but I always knew the public would eventually get as annoyed as me and turn their back on them, because the public is pretty fucking fickle….

I harrass Whitney Port on twitter, she ignores me, and that makes me hate her sloppy pussy more, but today I will make a point of tormenting her with these pictures, destroying her little self esteem, putting her in a depression that she either deals with through addiction, Heidi Montag style plastic surgery, or suicide.

Just doin’ my part….

Pics via INF
Pics via Bauer


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Posted in:Bikini|Miami|Whitney Port

2009

09

Sep

Whitney Port’s Stupid Pinhead and Skinny Legs of the Day

1 Comment »

Whitney Port has a little lookin pinhead of a head and I guess that may explain why she’s retarded, you know, not enough room for her brain to grow to its full potential or some shit, not that I know if she’s even retarded, I’ve never seen The Hills, I just know I hate it and I also know she gets paid big bucks to be on it, which is better than being a retard in life without getting paid and the whole thing just leads me to believe that maybe I’m the retard, despite my head being of normal size and from past experience most retards actually have really big fucking heads, so my logic is totally wrong, so maybe you should just look at her legs and masturbate, if you’re into skinny awkward lookin’ things.

Pics via PacificCoastNews

Posted in:Skinny Legs|Small Head|Whitney Port

2009

01

Sep

Whitney Port Goes to Clown School of the Day

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I am not a hundred percent sure if Whitney Port is really on her way to clown school or not, but she should be and she looks like she is all dressed in those crazy pants, like some kind of street performer you’d expect to meet juggling on the side of the street talking insanity who you decide to give a dollar to before asking on a date because she looks like she hasn’t fully recovered from her serious drug addiction that left her nuts enough to dress like a freak on the side of the street juggling, and that means it’ll be nutty fuckin’ sex and she won’t be snobby enough to reject you, because she’s working the fucking street like a crazy person….just her twitches alone are enough to imagine her vagina suffocating your dick like it was the small rodent she had to suffocate the night before for dinner because she’s so fuckin’ poor.

Either way, I think it’s about time Port legitimizes herself and becomes a master of her domain because I’ve been saying this bitch is a fuckin’ clown as long as she’s been around and once The Hills is done she’ll need to make a living some how.

Posted in:Clown School|Whitney Port|Wild Style

2009

18

Aug

Whitney Port and Her Legs of the Day

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Whitney Port is that cunt from the Hills who isn’t all that much to look at, but at least she’s got legs that I wouldn’t mind chopping off and putting on this hot amputee chick I know. Not because I am psycho and think about dismembering girls but because I’m a humantiarian like that, you know just doin’ my part to help the less fortunate, in a kind of Robin Hood taken from those who don’t deserve it and giving to those who do…..cuz this amputee with legs like this would be a fuckin’ 10, while Whitney Port with legs like this is still nothing but a piece of shit.

Posted in:Legs|Whitney Port

2009

07

Aug

Whitney Port in Her Bikini Top Tanning of the Day

1 Comment »

I am okay with staged scripted shit that tricks people into thinkin’ shit is real life, but only when the robot drone souless cunts who are in the shit are half naked, because when a girl is half naked, I generally don’t give a fuck about her downfalls, unless it is my wife, in which case I have no choice but to focus on all things bad about her body and point and laugh at the shit to keep her thinkin that she’s useless so that she doesn’t smarten up and leave me.
If you think I’m not making sense, you shoulda seen me last night, I was like one giant and confused run-on sentence, only the real life version…..not the scripted real life interpretation like this bitch in her bra or bikini top with a fuckin’ mic box attached ther her.

Posted in:Bikini|Whitney Port

2009

21

Jul

Whitney Port’s Big Ol’ Vagina Definition in Her Bikini of the Day

1 Comment »



Whitney Port brought her potato shaped vagina out to the pool because I guess she’s on vacation, from what, I don’t really know considering she gets paid to let cameras follow her around and stage drama like she’s still in high school.

And that “work” that she does, confuses dumb bitches into thinking that’s what life is really like at a young age, making your life hell when you meet these young girls, seduce these girls, and start dating these girls when they get a little older and they aren’t down with a normal, peaceful, relaxed life because it’s not like that on The Hills, so the cunts start pulling stunts, and calling you up with bullshit all the fuckin’ time, making your life a fuckin’ hell, so in a lot of ways Whitney Port ruined your life, assuming you can seduce chicks, which I highly doubt, but I’m not too sure who or what ruined her vagina, that thing’s gaping and all she’s doin’ is standing the fuck up. Seriously, it looks like it is clapping at her performance getting out of the pool, so I guess the drama is legit and there really is trouble in “paradise”, not that her pussy is paradise, but she probably likes to think it is, cuz no girl likes admitting her pussy is as busted as the rest of her, especially when the drunk guys who have fucked her have told her over and over again how nice it is, because they are just trying to cum and all pussy feels alright, if you don’t have to look at the rest of her….boom (that’s how I like to end my power posts)….

Here’s a better angle of her flat shitty ass, in the event that last pic tricked you and I’m not just saying it is shitty cuz she didn’t wipe proper cuz she was too busy being a cunt….

Posted in:Definition|Vagina|Whitney Port

2009

20

Jul

Whitney Port is a Dump in her Bikini of the Day

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I wonder what Whitney Port’s dad does for a living. I assume he’s in the industry because that’d be the only reason anyone would give a bitch like her a chance. That’s not to say she didn’t suck dick to the top, it is to say she’s more useless than a bloody tampon, and I’m not just saying that because she’s on The Hills, my least favorite thing in TV history, I’m saying it cuz watermelon would be a hotter fuck than her….mainly cuz a watermelon has more shape than this dump.

Speaking of suckin dick, I hope she’s got that shit down proper, because she is the kind of girl you only date because you are blinded by the constant blowjobs, and you don’t notice her shitty lookin’ body.

Speaking of The Hills, I made friends with three 17 year old girls who were all dressed the same while wasted on saturday night. They were on a busy street taking a pee beind a fucking bush and I decided to join them. They weren’t too impressed but I think one of them wiped their pee covered hand on mine, a moment I will cherish til the end of time….

Posted in:Bikini|Whitney Port

2009

12

Jan

Whitney Port in Her Bikini for Her Shitty Show of the Day

1 Comment »

If you’re looking for everything fake in a person except a good set of tits, here’s Whitney Port on set, if you can really call it that, of her new reality based show “The City” that she’s filming a scene for in Miami. They are staged, they are useless, she is skinny and I’d fuck her, so I am posting it, even if it’s all fucking lies…

Posted in:Bikini|The City|Whitney Port

2008

03

Dec

Whitney Port Stole My Curtains of the Day

1 Comment »

Whitney Port is some whore from The Hills and here she is in a dress that reminds me a little too much of the curtains my wife brought home from the Salvation Army because she was annoyed of the garbage bags I had taped to the window for the last few years. The least the photographer could have done to make these pictures a little more post worthy is accidentally drop his keys near her and discreetly bend down to pick them up to see if people from The Hills actually have genitals, or if they are just some kind of robots created by MTV. You know, get a shot of Whitney Port in Curtains Showing Off Her Beef Curtains or some shit….

The truth is whenever I try that kind of shit, I always get busted and never end up getting a glimpse of what I set out to see, because girls tend to scream loud when they see you on all fours with your head angled to see up their fucking skirts. The whole this is really inconsiderate to my needs and make me look like I am some kind of pervert in front of all of my friends in the waiting room at the DMV, doctor’s office, mall, or wherever a short skirt slut leaning over happens to be, when they could just go along with the whole thing and have fun with it by you know, letting me get little something out of it, considering it’s not all that much more revealing than what they wear on the beach, but instead they have these rules and regulations governing who can and can’t look up their skirt. I guess the world’s just not as giving as it should be, even in this Holiday Season and the whole thing makes me think humanity has no hope….

Posted in:Curtains|Whitney Port