DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2020

21

Apr

Renee Olstead Stripping of the Day

Renee Olstead had a minute of potential stardom a few years ago. She was on some show called The Secret Life of the American Teenager that someone told me shouted me out, but definitely DIDN’T Shout me out, however they did say Jesus Martinez….but there are 1,000,000 Jesus Martinez’s….

She had big tits, showed off her big tits, and was slated to be big tits for a while, but she fell off, people lost interest, but she’s roping us back in like the Texan cowgirl with the Lasso that she is…and all it took was a stripper dance.

Her last IMDB job was in 2016…or 2018…I don’t have my glasses but at 30 years old, a 2 year break seems fucking crazy…at her peak of getting dudes to jack off to her and make that fucking money…and she’s not working…crazy

But at least she’s got that stripper pole backup plan!

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Posted in:Renee Olstead

2020

21

Apr

Halsey BSOD Twerk of the Day

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Halsey has always been a sex worker as far as I’m concerned. She just happened to sex work on the right dick like smart sugar babies do. If you break it down, I guess everything is sex work.

From what I remember, she magically appeared one day claiming she was homeless and a drug addict, only to manage to drop a hit song with some EDM / DJ dudes she likely fucked…that’s how it works…these DJ dudes are some of the biggest losers pretending to be cool that an average looking girl who understands basic seduction can manipulate the fuck out of them…

So seeing her doing whatever this stripper dance is, is basically what she is about…but unfortunately for you bitch got that million dollar record deal to be used like she’s the next Katy Perry, equally annoying but less fat and cankled….which luckily for superficial people like us, who aren’t her shitty music demographic, we can watch the dance without hating her and her fake tits too hard….since there’s no audio track raping our ears as she tries to rope you in by making you want to rape her (romantically of course, unless you’re paying her enough)…that’s how it works.

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Posted in:Halsey

2020

21

Apr

Mischa Barton Leaked Nude of the Day

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I don’t know if this is actually a Mischa Barton leaked nude and if it is, I am not sure how old it actually is. If it is current, I understand why she’d be leaking it. If it is old, I also understand why she’d be leaking it.

She’s basically a Lohan and at the peak of her fame, despite being second string to Summer on the OC, she was still a big deal…so big that she ended up collapsing from the pressure, gaining a ton of weight, having multiple freakouts and we just assumed that she’d be dead by now…

I remember her screaming at neighbors, who looking unshowered for months, like real trauma, real rock bottom. It was AMAZING. Hilarious.

Then she did The Hills reunion show, so we knew she was basically dead….but not actual dead but like any of the old school celebs, it’d be so easy to turn their careers around with some real basic internet marketing.

If the no name whores are making 100k a week, a celeb could easily make 100k a year based on their name alone.

I’d be able to help Mischa become the starlet she once was again….Make Mischa Barton great again…and this is a good start…

Posted in:Mischa Barton

2020

21

Apr

Karlie Kloss Big Head in a Bra of the Day

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Karlie Kloss fucking sucks.

When she landed the Victoria’s Secret thing, I was very confused since she’s a 7 foot tall “runway” model which means she’s not a HOT lingerie model.

Since Victoria’s Secret was something that made careers, at least in a pre-bankruptcy protection they are likely in thanks to having too many stores to support a SHITTY fucking brand / product…made in China tax evading, American owned, but not American Supporting, even their models are immigrants…who pulled a scam because they used tits to distract us….

She probably did all she could to get in on that and to take her modelling to the mainstream MALL level…but that doesn’t mean she’s hot…

Then there was the whole being Taylor Swift’s roommate, despite TAYLOR Swift being the fucking devil, in a “this bitch has no soul and will do anything to be close to fame”…because the only reason anyone would friend a cunt like Taylor Swift is for the perks of Taylor Swift’s fame…so the whole locking pussy lips like a bunch of perverts with each other….was basically prostitution…transactional and empty…

But look at her now…a dumpy KUSHNER doing fitness for her fans that she really shouldn’t have since she’s zeeero fucking compelling.

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Posted in:Karlie Kloss

2020

21

Apr

Kelsea Ballerini Short Shorts of the Day

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I hate the way she spells her name. Kelsea….like KEL SEA…like Sea…like Ocean…you know Kelsea…her fucking hippie surf parents can suck a dick with their bullshit names that are more stripper or sex worker since they are a made up fucking name.

I don’t know why I am mad at her name…I should be mad that at her level of fame, which is low level of fame, I have no idea who this bitch is….she should be out here demonstrating how many things she can fit in her vagina…you know the CONTENT that fucking matters in these dark times.

Instead…we gat weird ballet poses…we get it KEL SEA LIKE THE OCEAN…your last name is practically BALLERINA…and you like to pretend to be a Ballerina…by not stripping at the local strip club like most ballerina’s end up doing…because she’s a Knoxville raised Country Star who luckily had a dad who worked at the radio stations so she could avoid a PAYOLA scandal while manipulating her fame.

I don’t know why I am mad at her….probably cuz of her dumb fucking name.

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Posted in:Kelsea Ballerini

2020

21

Apr

Titty Tuesday of the Day

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I did a similar post last Thursday called TITTY THURSDAY to which I received 14,000 emails about how the meme is Titty Tuesday not Titty Thursday and that I am an out of touch old fuck, how do I even have a website, maybe it makes sense I have a website, since anyone who is anything has big social media, and I haven’t updated my social media in what must be a year because fuck that thirsty shit….while you want to fuck that thirsty shit…because everyone’s thirsty, it’s a basic Pavlov’s dog need or whatever that needs chart is called…

FOOD SHELTER WATER LOVE…girls with pics of their boobs….etc.

These are titties of instagram….not tities of the internet…hence the semi-censored cock teasing nature!

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Posted in:Featured Post

2020

21

Apr

Shailene Woodley Sports Bra of the Day

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Shailene Woodley is out in Sports Bra showing some tit…or barely showing tit…becuase anyone on social media is by default a fetish model because dudes are jerking off to the content even if the intent is to show her untoned stomach.

This is some workout fetish, some sports bra fetish, some activewear like a mom at the grocery store before COVID fetish…maybe it’s a Shailene Woodley Fetish….even though she’s not remotely hot…

Then there’s the whole activist side of her, getting arrested for protesting oil piplelines or whatever else she’s into….

Boring….but I guess when you’re bored….you’ll watch anything.

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Posted in:Shailene Woodley

2020

21

Apr

Polina Skinny Ass in Bed Wearing Socks of the Day

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I don’t know who this POLINA girl is, but I fucking love whatever is going on here.

I have a thing for skinny girls, which is probably why I find models hot, and hate fat chicks, like my wife….

So seeing a naked skinny girl in weird poses showing off her ass while wearing socks in bed, which in and of itself is wrong, people who sleep in socks are fucking freaks, but clearly our girls POLINA isn’t sleeping.

If this was a bro site and not a creepy pervert site I’d say “FIND HER”…

Since it’s a creepy pervert site, I wouldn’t suggest you find her, because that will likely end badly, you know, you and girls just don’t mix….you’re too passionate…too involved…too excitable…luckily you can subscribe to most of their subscription sites….

Polina is the future even if there is no actual future….

Posted in:Photos

2020

21

Apr

Kelly Gale Cameltoe Compilation of the Day

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Kelly Gale is a dark and wonderful Swedish model who is probably best known for being one of the Victoria’s Secret models, who may not be getting paid by Victoria’s Secret since they are going broke, despite their weak attempt to be woke by casting a fucking tranny…..

But once you get that VS branding on your pussyhole, you’re basically set because the reast of the world thinks you matter. Makes sense.

She was more interestingly in Playboy…but I am too lazy to google the pics, I may be already posted the pics, I can’t keep track of all the tits….and there was also that whole year or two when Playboy decided to be a non-nude magazine you know as an answer to the world where EVERY SINGLE GIRL IS NAKED ON THE INTERNET….

You know they got their success being a mainstream men’s mag in the 50s and 60s when nudity was hard to come by and mainstream women were housewives or women’s rights activists or hippies…you know so you could turn to the magazine to jack off and pretend it was for the high quality editorial to make you look like less of a pervert.

So now that everyone is naked, people MUST be craving hot chicks who are naked everywhere else, clothed.

Idiots..

ANYWAY, I don’t know what this shoot is for, but she’s hot, because Victoria’s Secret, when not recruiting trannies, still find good pussy for ya’ll to jack off to.

TO SEE NEW PICS OF KELLY GALE IN HER LINGERIE CLICK HERE

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Posted in:Kelly Gale

2020

21

Apr

Malin Ackerman Mask and Hard Nipples of the Day

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I used to read tabloid magazines when waiting at the STD clinic, Welfare Office, anywhere there were magazines….despite not giving a fuck about celebrities or the entertainment industry.

I didn’t start this site because I was some fag who was into the tabloids, the only tabloids I liked were things like World Weekly News, with stories about incest alien love triangles and shit liek that.

I ended up doing the celebrity content because there’s SO many pics and videos of celebs on the daily, that for someone who doesn’t leave the couch it was easy…but the idea was celebrity gossip from some pervert who doesn’t give a fuck about celebrity gossip…becasue that’s true to the core of who I am.

I like tits like I love sluts…so do what you know…

It makes for a very weird site, since there’s no actual point to visit the site. There’s no breaking news stories or anything like that…but look at me…still doing it 15 years later…

ANYWAY, that was a long intro….but I used to always wonder why magazines like People used to put the ages of the people they were writing their bullshit gossip about. I used to find that dumb, like who cares how old these fuckers are…but I find myself doing it….because I’m like “How old is this bitch now”….

As it turns out, Malin Akerman is 41, which is pretty fucking old. She’s a born in Sweden, raised in Ontario Canada thank to to relaxed immigration policies. She got her start in Toronto before ending up in LA in 2001, where she’s lived the vapid and barely celebrity life…

She’s basically been off the radar until this past week, I guess she was bored in lockdown and figured she should call her paparazzi friends to get some visibility..maybe 2020 is her comeback year…and the veteran knows if the nips are out the people will see!