DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2024

05

Jan

X-Tina Aguilera’s Dropped 40 Pounds and Still has Big Tits of the Day

It’s safe to say that X-Tina Aguilera, like all the other 40 year old fat celebs, is rocking the diabetes medication harder than they probably should, because clearly no one likes being fat, even those fat empowerment people pushing for diversity in models because they are fat and that’s how they get paid, wish deep down inside that they weren’t over-eaters….

I will never believe a fat person who says they are happy being fat, because as a fat fuck, there’s literally no benefits from being fat, from your penis getting absorbed by the fat, giving you a very female looking penis thanks to your gunt….to struggling to get up stairs, to being uncomfortable in clothes, to being uncomfortable in human sized chairs….it’s hell.

So it’s nice seeing that X-Tina took her new Vegas residency seriously enough to do basically nothing to actually lose weight, but take some pharmaceuticals, but it looks better than if she was still fat and that’s important….especially to me……because I still have a bet that I will fuck her in my lifetime.

I have written about this before, since it’s my only X-Tina story, but back in the 2000s, I was team Aguilera cuz she was getting DIRTY and her fake tits on her skinny frame was hotter than Britney’s thick neck.

I hated the way she sang, but I hated all pop music, so at least she did sing….

Anyway, it was pre-social media, pre-desperate celebs that are accessible people, back when there was a very aggressive barrier of entry between a man and a celebrity vagina.

So being the confident man I am, one who knows that I can end up ANYWHERE I really want to end up, because this shit’s a fucking videogame….I made a bet with a friend, who is probably dead by now, that in my lifetime, I will have sex with Christina Aguilera…

Neither of us are dead and she’s been fat for a long time so I haven’t even tried yet, but this 24 year old bet is still active in my mind and I’ll manifest that shit if she maintains this look for the next year, so WATCH OUT AGUILERA…looking like a hot 40 year old may lead to the worst sex of your life….probably smarter for her to get fat again than to have to resist my good looks and charm when I decide to turn it on to fulfill said bet.

Posted in:Christina Aguilera

2024

05

Jan

Jessica Simpson as Porno Granny of the Day

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So I’m an old and out of touch motherfucker, so I don’t really know who the trending celebrities are besides Sydney Sweeney’s big tits, and really the whole concept of celebrity is dead, so why not remain a fucking dinosaur of the internet, who even at my peak of internet stardom, back when 10 people visited the site per day, I was totally out of fucking touch….by focusing on the people who were popular back when celebrity existed, except maybe for Lohan, she’d dead to me knowing she bred with someone other than me, when all she had to do is send an email and I would have emailed that vat of SEMEN I’ve been saving her for 15 years….

Anyway, in keeping up with being outdated fucks, here’s some Jessica Simpson looking like a porno granny, all jacked up on her DIABETES meds that made her skinny while keeping the big tits…..all jacked up on BOTOX and fillers to give her that bloated cum soaked porno face while still rocking the big tits.

Is this Pam Anderson? Or Madonna on tour at the old folks home soiling her diapers…no it’s the Country K-Mart fashion Billionaire with the big tits, who still has the big tits, which is what matters…

It’s all barely exciting….which is how I like things to be, my heart can’t handle actual excitement anymore.

Posted in:Jessica Simpson

2024

04

Jan

stepLINKS of the Day

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I think your New Years Resolution should be to find yourself a trad wife, even a fat one assuming she’ll be more appreciative, or will go for your loser ass….maybe a refugee or homeless chick with serious mental issues but the ability to cook and clean like a master….or maybe one of these recovered or reformed whores who is finding the trad life more appealing because whoring hasn’t worked out for her but no one really wants to make an honest woman out of her cuz she’s a whore….because finding someone to cook, clean and make you a sandwich on demand, whether clothed or naked….will make putting up with her woman complaints a lot easier…and bring you that life of luxury you deserve, even if you’re a broke ass loser who thinks day old donuts is luxury….

Here are some stepLINKS….

Charlotte Lawrence Wears the Viral Dress!
LICK HERE

Gear up for Your New Years Resolutions!
LICK HERE

How bullet-proof is the Cyber Truck?
LICK HERE

Man on the road has a close call with a cement truck
LICK HERE

Surfer Anastasia Ashley Announces her Disability!
LICK HERE

Alison Brie Nipple Pokies in a Green Bikini!
LICK HERE

Sensational Style: Rachel Pizzolato’s Allure in a Low-Cut Red Dress Revealing Spectacular Curves
LICK HERE

Showing Up His EX (GIF)
LICK HERE

POV footage of a parkour guy racing to school after he is late
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Debbie St. Pierre is Being Too Hot For The Internet – Again!
LICK HERE

20 Behind the Scenes Movie Photos You Can’t Un-See
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Leni Klum – at Twiga Beach Club in Forte dei Marmi, Italy
LICK HERE

THE UNDERCOVER BOSS
LICK HERE

Really controversial and crazy moments caught in combat sports
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Super cleaning a very dirty rug
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Sugar Bowl Titties! (GIF)
LICK HERE

Mollie Gould Caught on the Beach Posing in her Bikini!
LICK HERE

Sophie Dee shows us her impressive breasts wearing suspenders
LICK HERE

ROAD RAGE
LICK HERE

Compilation of waves that are just too crazy
LICK HERE

Thong Temptation: Deva Cassel’s Dazzling Beach Affair in Rio
LICK HERE

18 Bizarre And Laughable Mishaps
LICK HERE

iPhone XS being dropped from a spiral staircase
LICK HERE

Doja Cat is Showing Off Her Boob Job Again!
LICK HERE

Tianna Robillard Benglas WAG!
LICK HERE

21 Asian Women Captivate With Sensual Grace And Beauty
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Kanye West’s ex … with a revealing thong!
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Old jewelry gets transformed into a pure gold bar
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Is a new Britney album happening?
LICK HERE

Julia Fox Going Out in Miami Wearing a Skimpy Outfit!
LICK HERE

Joanna Lopez Caught on the Beach in her Bikini!
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Bonus Butts #412
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Some of the craziest world records ever
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Insane explosion happens in a garden
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Useful Tips And Lifehacks (29 pics)
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Mackenzie Ziegler in a See Through Dress!
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Taking a look at how the most expensive fibers in the world are made
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Tyreek Hill’s House Was on Fire!
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INSTAGRAM OF THE DAY: ELLE_DANG
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19 + PEOPLE DEFINITELY HAVING A SHITTIER DAY THAN YOU
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39 Hot Thursday Girls
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Noah Cyrus Rocks Some Fetish Gear!
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Gracie Hunt is at the Cabo House for the New Year!
LICK HERE

8 really disturbing things caught on dash cam
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JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Support Booty Vendors!
LICK HERE

Find Sugar Babies
LICK HERE!!!!

MAKE ME RICH OFF THE BACK OF THESE CAM GIRLS
LICK HERE!!!!

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From the Forum

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Selena Gomez – Miami Heat v Los Angeles Lakers game in Los Angeles
LICK HERE

Cailee Spaeny – Elle (France)
LICK HERE

Natalie Portman – Seen at JFK International Airport, New York City
LICK HERE

Elle Fanning – Leaving her Appropriate theater in New York City
LICK HERE

Phoebe Dynevor – Variety Magazine
LICK HERE

Shelley Hennig – Los Angeles Clippers vs Miami Heat in Los Angeles
LICK HERE

Lady Victoria Hervey – Bikinis at the beach in Western Barbados
LICK HERE

Nicole Scherzinger – Performing for the New Year Eve in London
LICK HERE

Christina Milian – Riding a bike in Santa Monica
LICK HERE

Camila Mendes – Seen out in New York
LICK HERE

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From stepSMUT!!

(LINKS BELOW ARE NSFW!)
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WELL… THAT WAS UNEXPECTED
LICK HERE

Nazar Elcansky is currently in my TOP list of erotic photographers.
LICK HERE

Bubble Butt Pounded (GIF)
LICK HERE

Monica Bellucci topless in Napoleon and Me (2006)
LICK HERE

Pitta Orapun Lovely In Lace
LICK HERE

Explore Naked Lily Lou!
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Argentinian model with insane ass in premium pics and videos
LICK HERE

‘Bootyful Brunette’ with Alina Gorohova via Mr Skin
LICK HERE

Anal Ring Toss at the Party!
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Vickie Jay Backdoor Pink FTV Milfs
LICK HERE

Busty Katerina Soria via Fancentro
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Titty Envy (GIF)
LICK HERE

Jurnee Smollett With Pushed Up Cleavage!
LICK HERE

Zaawaadi Getting Dressed in Sexy Lingerie!
LICK HERE

Chiquitta Boobs And Boots
LICK HERE

Side Boob City! (GIF)
LICK HERE

Seashells in the Pussy Shore
LICK HERE

Emma Sehested Høeg naked in sesson one of Killjoy
LICK HERE

Ashley Benson – flashing her boobs
LICK HERE

Lorna Morgan Vol 1 Set 1 Pinupfiles
LICK HERE

Hot Nalu Kasmierski Via Bella Club
LICK HERE

Famous model in awesome new leaked videos and pics
LICK HERE

Actual Wife Material
LICK HERE

Dildo Bouncing
LICK HERE

BETWEEN CARRIAGES
LICK HERE

Violet Vision of Aviana Violet!
LICK HERE

Millennial Mating Habits
LICK HERE

Wild Babes Baryshevalisa And Olimooo via Suicide Girls
LICK HERE

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JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:stepLINKS

2024

04

Jan

Denise Richards in the Bath of the Day

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I don’t know how much soap you’d need to sterilize Denise Richards, but I think it would probably take some industrial strength cleanser, the kind that takes a layer of her skin off in the process, because she has been around a long time and there’s clearly embedded smells that can’t be removed, kinda like an old t-shirt, if the old t-shirt was a used up cunt…I mean she was married to Charlie Sheen and he did have AIDS at one point…so you know, she’s played with fire and that kind of scarring can’t be scrubbed off.

You know that I don’t approve of Denise Richards being part of some weird cash grab humiliation process, other than the fact that it’s fun to see old celebrities show their true colors, and obviously it’s fun to see their wonky ass tits, rather than not doing this kind of content…..so my disapproval is part of what makes it all the better…because deep down inside, I fucking love that it happens, and so consistently too!

Posted in:Denise Richards

2024

04

Jan

Delfine Stal is the Instagram Of The Day

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Delfine Stal is an instagram chick from the Netherlands…who I can only assume wears wooden shows, plays with TULIPS and works at the local windmill….I mean that and producing sleazy content for attention on social media….which is the career choice of all the decent enough looking chicks out there who can figure out how to post, photoshop or fake the whole thing. Sure some are hot, but for the most part the act of producing hot content is pretty fucking obnoxious, whether it’s trying hard from insecurities, or trying hard because you think your hotness will get you places….I prefer the muted hot chick who doesn’t know she’s hot or who is too hot to bother putting effort into anything…even sex…just a lay there as a “just be happy I showed up because I am hot”…..running a social media account, despite the opportunities and money it brings is so desperado and lame…but without the titty content, I don’t know if we’d survive as a species on this internet taking over our lives machine…

Now remember, prostitution is legal in the Netherlands….

Image Credit – Instagram

Posted in:Instagram Babe

2024

04

Jan

Jessica Alba Does Fitness on an Exercise Bike of the Day

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Jessica Alba…

Billionaire dot com tycoon, who was one of the first unimpressive celebrities to hop onto the social media and internet hustle with some direct to consumer brands, something that I probably wouldn’t have expected to work as well as it did, probably part of the reason I’m not a dot com anything, but maybe a troll hiding in the fucking basement of the internet eating the table scraps left behind from the actual players, but really, Alba was boring, she’s a shitty actress, her fan base was a bunch of virgin nerd film people who thought she was the next messiah or that her tits were….

Well, she’s still producing content, probably to push sales to projects she has equity in, like with this WEDNESDAY fitness video of her on the spin bike, breaking a sweat, the face looking a little too much like Khloe Kardashian than you’d want Jessica Alba to look, but it’s the era of muppets so be happy the mom of 3-4 is vain enough to not have a massive gunt hanging over the cunt…

Fitness is hot…even when Jessica Alba is not so hot anymore…

Posted in:Jessica Alba

2024

04

Jan

Sienna Schmidt is a Hot Model of the Day

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I’ve never heard of Sienna Schmidt before, but apparently she goes by Sienna Raine and is a somebody. SHe’s got 150k followers on instagram, which is pretty weak when compared and contrasted to all her titty content, knowing that far more gutter and fake girls doing equally aggressive content are bringing in the millions of followers, but maybe her small follower count is intentional, to make us feel like we’ve stumbled across some kind of bikini model gem.

She is an actual model, not just an instagram model, where she’s repped by New York Models and LA Models, which I assume is not a bi-coastal escort agency, but we all know that all model agencies are pretty much escort agencies, whether the girl’s whoring for brands, agents, or high end CEOs, producers and directors in exchange for a day rate….that’s not to say Sienna Schmidt is a whore, it’s to say we’re all whores….some are just better looking and getting paid more for it.

She has a TikTok with over 330k followers, where she documents hot model humor I assume, some song and dance, lip synching with the tits out….masterful short format content creator for the new generation and I’m into it because she’s hot….even if I hate all that shit, the dumbing down of society is in full effect, we gotta join in on jerking off to it…

Find out more HERE

Posted in:Sienna Schmidt

2024

04

Jan

Stormi Bree the New Jonas Brothers Pussy of the Day

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Stormi Breeze is the new Jonas Brother’s pussy, she is the Sophie Turner replacement and her claim to fame isn’t being the hot pussy on a show about Dragons, but rather the hot pussy from the Teen USA competition she was a part of….on some Esptein Flight Log Stephen Hawkins shit…

She is no longer a TEEN, she’s 33 and already has a kid with some male model named Lucky Blue Smith….and now she’s grinding her mormon twat on a Jonas who she probably secretly had posters of in her childhood room that she’d pull out when the family went to bed, you know, since Mormons aren’t allowed that kind of thing.

I actually really appreciate Mormons, their traditional values, their hard work and their wholesomeness, especially when they defect like all oppressed women, and go fucking mental with their genitals they once had to hide in a pair of Mormom pantaloon bloomers..even when you’ve got a fucking porn name…

I’ve never heard of her, but she’s got 1,000,000 followers and she fucks a Jonas Brother like she was Ashley Greene who pretended she didn’t fuck a Jonas Brother, or Olivia Culpo before she went for the NFL players….

Anyway, she has elf ears in one of her pics, so clearly the Jonas brother is sticking to his nerdy dragon / fantasy fetish, only this time with big tits.

Posted in:Stormi Bree

2024

04

Jan

Grace Boor is the Instagram Of The Day

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Grace Boor has 2.5 million followers, probably because she’s a digital marketing maven, who really understand the needs and want of the social media audience, giving them the engaging content they need to click FOLLOW, thanks to her big tits.

You see, big tits are the number one marketing tool of a woman. I’m not a tit guy because I don’t discriminate against little tits, and find little tits endearing on hot fit bodies with hot asses, but I am a tit guy because I am a guy and I am wired to like tits.

I’m sure you understand what I mean, because you’re probably in the same situation, like willing to fuck a flat chested 300 pound pile of dog shit, but when you see nice big tits on a curated instagram feed of a girl who doesn’t look like she smells like dog shit, even if she does look unaffordable to hang out with, or like someone who would pepper spray you if you got too close….but that doesn’t stop you from appreciating the tit or how she uses said tit in her curated instagram content that looks expensive and like it would smell nice.

Like I said, digital marketing expert.

I don’t know anything else about Grace Boor, but I think Boor’s Boobs are all I need to know….

Image Credit – Instagram

Posted in:Instagram Babe

2024

04

Jan

Halle Berry’s Shitty Lingerie Photo of the Day

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This is the important hard hitting news that we all need, especially when it comes to half naked celebrity dinosaurs like Halle Berry, who we don’t actually care about anymore because of the whole menopause thing but that they want us to care about so they post lingerie pics on the social media for clicks and views since they’re all on the same whore hustle. Why bother being clever when you can just show some skin for views, no matter how high profile you are.

Anyway, the story is going viral because on December 17th Halle Berry posted her in lingerie in some outdoor setting, like some kind of exhibitionist you’d find on reddit trying to get clout in her onlyfans hustle. You know, the kind of girls I am angry I never come across in public, because I know they are sneakily producing their porn out there.

As it turns out, there’s a pile of shit next to her foot, which I guess went unnoticed by most because they were zooming in on her tits, or they were assuming it was just a rock or some other gift of nature, but the nerds of the internet realized that it was shit.

I am not sure if it’s animal shit or human shit, maybe it’s even Halle Berry shit, but it’s shit and that makes her lingerie in public post a little more entertaining, creative, funny….

Now I know what some of you are thinking, that she uses feces to smear on her body to get her as brown as she can to exploit the fact that her father was black, allowing her to steal all the black jobs in racist Hollywood from full black people, because the producers are racist and liked that she was more white than she let on…so she just left her “make-up” in the frame as an Easter Egg….but I’m thinking it’s probably from a hiker or a dog who felt the spot was perfectly private enough for a dump or in Halle’s case a nude shoot cuz she’s a whore and potentially a dump because why else would her pants be off..

Posted in:Halle Berry