DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2018

11

Jun

Rosie Huntington Whiteley Nipples of the Day

For the longest time, Rosie Huntington Whiteley was one of my favorite models…

I just thought she was classy, amazing, busty, half naked, and then she replaced Megan Fox in Transformers and I thought she was a great mechanism for the Hollywood machine to show the world that acting requires no talent or skill, any hot chick can do it, just throw her into the mix and she’ll make it work…

I don’t know if she’s classy or amazing, but she is busty and has been naked enough…I know she’s got a baby with Jason Strathem or whatever his name is…and that gives hope to any of you balding fucks that if you get ripped, a action movie star career, a lot of money, you can also knock up models….like she’s some beacon of hope to losers…

But I do know her dress is see through, and I guess you know that too…cuz you’re looking at that big floppy mom tit and it’s nice….making me hungry..in a “MAMMA FEED ME” kind of way…that I blame my mother for not breast feeding me as she was too busy turning tricks in a Mexican border town to care…which I guess leaves deep rooted issues with a person….issues that have led me to devote my life to TITTY pics.

Posted in:Rosie Huntington-Whiteley

2018

11

Jun

Iskra Lawrence is a Flasher of the Day

No Comments »

I find Iskra Lawrence offensive.

It’s like keep it in your damn pants girl…but I guess based on her eating habits and her body that has resulted from her eating habits…and a career that she’s created off her eating habits alone…she’s not quite one to have my will power…but instead just aggressively pushes her “fat is beauitful”…”give fat a chance” agenda on all of us….

I remember a time when naked fat chicks had their own fetish magazines for the fucking weirdos who were into that…I assume weirdos who had fat moms they wanted to fuck or who were raped as children by fat women in their lives…like the fat babysitter or the fat nanny and who were never able to get past that fetish….and sometimes they’d crack and buy a magazine or a fat woman to fuck after a night of drinking when self control was at a low..

BUT I know as a man married to a fat women, which I guess is like a racist saying “I have black friends’…or a homophobe saying “some of my best friends are cocksucking faggots”…I feel I can say fat is disgusting, it’s mushy, it’s unhealthy, it leads to diabetes and it should remain a fetish for weirdos or your last option for sex…and it should not be normalized or celebrated…and woman like Iskra Lawrence should not be seen as icons for a huge bowel movement…because anyone who knows fat chicks knows real fat chicks hate themselves too much to promote themselves and that this is some black face the fat chick version to get paid…

I’ve said it before, and it’s all I got, but I am sure it’s true…every carb heavy meal she sucks down is 100 percent an attempt to get even fatter and make more noise…and not just when doing cannon balls at the public pool….

Posted in:Iskra lawrence|SFW

2018

11

Jun

Lindsay Lohan Ass in a Bikini of the Day

No Comments »

Lindsay Lohan is what I like to consider my Spirit Animal….her big tits my only inspiration…her insanity…the only thing that really matters….her converting to Islam and life in Dubai…spiritually sound….just trucking through this life her parents exploited the fuck out of her for….

I just find it unfortunate that even in her LOHAN beach clubs and night clubs in Europe, licensing her name like she was Playboy, she manages to look so fucking beat up and wrecked, while Britney who is older than her and still being exploited by her parents is fucking bangin’

It’s just unfortunate to see something so magical…fade away and expire…but I’d still connect her freckles with my semen if the stars aligned when she officially hits rock bottom…but the crazy thing in all this is that this is actually her “comeback” tour…and she’s loving life…despite no longer being the massive star she once was….

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan|SFW

2018

11

Jun

Mandy Moore Hard Nipples of the Day

No Comments »

Last week, Mandy Moore wore this dress and I said to my wife, I wish her nipples were hard in the dress, because hard nipples make a woman more interesting, more compelling, more worthy of being masturbated to…even if hard nipples are becoming common place now that women don’t wear bras….I still remember the first time I saw a girl in my high school with big hard nipples, and loving every second of it, jerking off to it in the woods behind the school, fucking walking around hard ever gym class she was in with me, seeing her playing basketball or volleyball…getting hit in her face with her big tit and hard nipple…it was magical…it played out in slow motion…it tapped into my soul on a primal fucking level…and despite the feminists trying to take that excitement away from us, they never will, because it’s printed in our DNA…so hard nipple all you want…normalize all you want…dudes…real dudes will still get boners from it..

I mean not necessarily when it’s Mandy Moore’s hard nipples, I mean she’s really never been that hot or interesting to me…but I know she’s got a very fucking creepy fan base…and really it’s still hard nipples….and isnt’ that what it’s all about…

IT IS.

Posted in:Mandy Moore|SFW

2018

11

Jun

Karlie Kloss Cameltoe of the Day

No Comments »

Karlie Kloss is a fucking tank.

I never understood how she ended up a VS model, there is nothing hot or lingerie model about her….I did however understand why Taylor Swift adopted her, because she was big enough to throw Taylor Swift around in the bedroom, and when you’re a broken rich as fuck famous person, sexual addiction is usually what comes with the territory…it’s the trade off…and when you’re as powerful as Taylor Swift in a world filled with Groupies…we can assume there’s a line-up of people, like Karlie Kloss who even have money of their own, waiting to be friends with Taylor Swift, because she’s Taylor Swift and that can help elevate their careers and is really the only reason anyone is friends with Taylor Swift..cuz she’s the worst…

Speaking of the worst, as I stare at Karlie Kloss jogging, it’s safe to say she’s the lingerie model with the worst body…and that may or may not be an accomplishment…but it’s something and it’s here…

Posted in:Karlie Kloss|SFW

2018

11

Jun

Emeraude Toubia Nude of the Day

No Comments »

Who the hell is Emeraude Toubia? I found her Twitter

Emeraude Toubia proves one very important thing…and that is that when you’re naked…your stupid name doesn’t matter…we can see past that by fixating on your tits…

I had never heard of her before the naked pics, which means naked pics work, I’m here googling the girl, only to discover she’s from Montreal…which is where I am from…what are the chances…maybe we’ve crossed paths…maybe we’ve been in the park together…maybe I’ve stared at her ass while she was at the mall…there possibilities are fucking endless in the way I’ve possibly sexualized her when she walked past me…ways that I guess she’s sexualizing herself..

From my research, she’s on some fantasy show called Shadowhunters, she’s 29, she’s been nominated for Teen Choice Awards, and she’s from Montreal…and I am from Montreal..how the hell have we not become friends…why am I not the one taking these nude pics of her…I have a broken iPhone camera but I am sure we can make it work….

She positions herself as hispanic, because that’s good marketing….and this is for some Spanish Magazine…but not naked enough – where is the LABIA…

Posted in:Emeraude Toubia|SFW

2018

11

Jun

Hailey Baldwin Tits Out for Church of the Day

No Comments »

Hailey Baldwin is in Miami going to church with Justin Bieber

There is a whole new movement of these young, under 25 year olds, finding the church, they all think that Jesus is the Way…because they come from parents who turned their back to the church and lived this vapid existence chasing money, allowing them to have these coddled rich kids lives, that felt like they had no actual meaning….so to give them some sort of enlightenment….or purpose…or meaning beyond having all kinds of things and money…they are turning back to Christ…and I find it fucking weird.

I do not understand why with Science, the church has any credibility, you’d think we’d be further and further away from that…but these people are idiots, have no grasp on reality, and use the church as some sort of angle.

Because everything they do – is so far off from the actual lessons of Christ…not that I am an expert on the shit – but I know going to Church tits out, in and of itself is a sin…and creating smut for men to jerk off to also a sin…and living her life being a vapid girl trying to get famous for being hot…a sin….

So whether she’s with Bieber going to church for paparazzi or not, this girl identifies as a Jesus freak but everything she does is so off track…it makes no sense…but people buy into it and I guess that makes her feel like less of a harlot…

Here she is getting her dick sucked by Justin Bieber

Here she is in her post-church bikini

Posted in:Hailey Baldwin|SFW

2018

11

Jun

Elsa Hosk Naked Seflies and Some Cultural Appropriation Done Right of the Day

No Comments »

Elsa Hosk is the stand in for Candice Swanepoel, who I think is hotter than Candice Swanepoel, and culturally more interesting that Candice Swanepoel, assuming that these women aren’t all created in some funded lab by the VS overlords…because Swanepoel is from South Africa, which along with legless national heroes who kill their girlfriends, there’s also a high AIDS rate and more importantly….systematic racism where these whites were basically using slaves up until 3 or 4 weeks ago….while HOSk…is Swedish and everyone loves IKEA…

Moreover, Swanepoel has been chronically pregnant, the worst kind of STD, for the longest time now, giving Hosk a chance to really make it in the world…

Hosk, and her thin legs claim to have been professional Basketball player legs when she was back in Sweden and realized there is no professional basketball for women, so she became a top VS promo model….getting naked..all the time and there’s something beautiful about women who get naked for money…and there always will be…even when they get naked for money on their social media for free…it’s all to elevate their getting naked for money rate….

Hot regardless…

Here she is seductive in a Mexican Blanket and as a Half Mexican I can say….I feel like this is cultural appropriation done right…

Here she is on all fours doing her skinny long legs right…

Posted in:Elsa Hosk|SFW

2018

11

Jun

Christina Milian Pussy Print of the Day

No Comments »

Christina Milian irritates me. I don’t find her hot. It’s not the early 2000s, we have the internet and we don’t need to be jerking off to slutty videos that she put out when she was 19 or 20, rolling around in the mud, looking fucking hot….and we sure as hell don’t need smut produced by that 19 or 20 year old in the early 2000s, who is now 38 years old, still bringing what she considers the heat or fire…because it’s done…it’s over…

The most offensive thing about Christina Milian going mental on the social media with her exhibitionist, slutty content, was that she was a recent divorcee and out there trying to prove herself, because I guess her husband cheated on her, is that she was a fucking mom at the time….and I guess still is…but regardless as a mom she should say “I’m rich, I get child support from someone else who is rich, maybe I’ll just chill and give my kid the best life”…but instead she hit Vegas pool parties and instagram hard….and it was just tragic to me and every black man out there…who said “why you gotta be so basic man, this is what the white man wants you to do, be more like Oprah, and less like a single mother with a crack addiction at the strip club that turns tricks in the booth”….seriously…

She’s got song credits on BIEBER songs, and all kinds of songs, and I guess on some thongs…and gets fucking PAID to this day and likely for her entire fucking life…million dollar checks…so I guess this shamelessness is a hobby…

WHICH I guess makes the whole thing a whole other level of compelling…like she doesn’t need to do this, she wants to do this..that changes the whole dynamic..but I’ll still be like Cosby and say her behavior is setting the whole movement back…

This is supposed to be her nipple on instagram live..

Posted in:Christina Milian

2018

11

Jun

Chantel Jeffries Got Them Titties on of the Day

No Comments »

Chantel Jeffries was the girl who got busted with Bieber…when Bieber got arrested…and has her tits out….

Some would say…she’s instagram whore who is a legit model people, she’s signed to an agency and has lots of followers because she’s a legit model…and not because she’s an instagram whore..

The kind of girl who got a lot of followers for being slutty, so many followers, popping up on the explore page that athletes and Beibers alike would ask her to fuck…

And now she’s a DJ…

Is she relevant, who fucking knows what relevant even means anymore…there’s so much bottom feeding trash making money it’s impossible to navigate really…

But we do know her tits are out and that’s something, not so magical if you’ve ever left your house and saw that everyone has their tits out…but it’s still tits and as men we must continue to always support women and their cleavage by sexualizing it…otherwise we might as well hop on some Bruce Jenner hormones..and make our full transition.

Posted in:Chantel Jeffries|SFW