DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2017

04

Apr

Ashley Tisdale Crops Out her Face for Social Media Butt Shot of the Day

Ashley Tisdale is on vacation…and in a bathing suit…and she’s strategically shooting some hot body bathing suit erotica for hits..some social media action…because her body is good…it’s fit…..and as long as ugly Face Tisdale is hiding behind sunglasses, a mask, her hand, or the tools like a bathing suit that she usually uses to try to divert people’s attention from her below average, even awkward looks..it works for me…because an ugly face doesn’t actually offend me, I just find satisfaction in calling her out, because she’s chosen the hollywood life not me, and in terms of hollywood, she’s pretty fucking average…which is probably why she’s not more famous than she is…but in terms of girls I’ve had sex with she’s a little above average -but mainly because I’ve had sex with some monsters…but face..means nothing…when there are ass / tits and pussy to stare at….

So here’s Tisdale bringing it like it matters when it really doesn’t…

Posted in:SFW

2017

04

Apr

Cindy Crawford Old Lady who was Once a Model in a Bikini of the Day

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My favorite thing about these Cindy Crawford bikini pics are no that she’s in a bikini – but rather that the bikini allows us to see both that she’s old and falling apart, unlike Christie Brinkley, yet she’s still had work done to her face…and that she is no longer the Cindy Crawford of the 90s, but rather Cindy Crawford with the stomach and sex appeal of someone who is in their 90s….middle aged may not be senior but it’s old enough to not want to fuck with it…but luckily for her, there is a lot of documentation of her at her prime…which we can all google, her included to say “Hey look at what I used to look at”…you know basically what her husband – the heir to GERBER – does when he’s not fucking younger women but rather jerking off to his wife before going into the bedroom to fuck her….like he has to…it’s called marriage.

That’s why I encourage all girls under 25 to take as many nudes as possible, it will keep your husband fucking you, will inspire him to get hard for you, and to close his eyes and think about what was…when he’s not cheating on you of course…

I guess this body is the reason she’s passed the torch to her daughter….

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Cindy Crawford|SFW

2017

04

Apr

Kate Upton Monster Tits in Vogue Thailand of the Day

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Kate Upton’s monster tits are in Vogue Thailand, a very prestigious bootleg that is usually full of Lady Boys used as a menu for the british Tourists coming for to come in Lady Boys…idea children…at least that’s what I assume goes on a VOGUE Thailand, because that’s the only thing that really goes on in Thailand…the latest fashions aren’t that interesting to locals…but rather the latest ways to see your children to tourists is…

DOESN’T MATTER…..what does matter is that Kate Upton is still as prestigious as she once was – after buying her career with her Washing Machine inheritance – her great – grandfather invented the washing machine – so that she could have a career as the monster mid-western 17 year old tits dudes jerked off to…before the rest of her caught up with her by 19…and she was forced to live fat in shame in the corner..until realizing “My boyfriend is an athlete and we have a gym in my house, maybe I should use it, so that magazines like VOGUE THAILAND feature me like I matter”….all while trying to continue her acting career that only happened because she was viral internet popular…you know…but her tits…they are bigger than my head and that is always fun.

Here’s a video.

Posted in:Kate Upton|SFW

2017

04

Apr

David Spade Fucking Naya Rivera is Hilarious of the Day

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People were excited to see David Spade fucking Naya Rivera in Maui in the pool…which is probably part of the reason you shouldn’t jump into the hotel pool with so much ease and excitement after a long travel day to get to Maui….because David Spade and Naya Rivera are not the only people fucking the pool….EVERYONE is..and innocent you, the virgin, ends up with herpes cuz of it…which no vacation to me….

That said, who fucking cares who David Spade is fucking, this bitch was on TV for a minute and a half, got a bit of celebrity, fucked some black dudes, despite her dad Geraldo being against it, and ended up with an old white guy to replace her dad after her disowned her…

She’s a mom, so her pussy is banged out and not just because of the big black dick she’s had, so let David Spade take on her sloppy used up seconds. You don’t have to be old to be expired you know…

I checked her instagram and she’s posting were cosmetic treatments and the doctor who gives them to her for free – pretty fucking bootleg and trashy…are you sure she’s not a local stripper with a big following? Cuz that’s what they do on their social media…her as an actor..seems to be a ship that has sailed…like the sail…that is her labia…on a windy day…after getting out of the pool david spade fucked her in….Romance.

Looking Good,

Posted in:Naya Rivera|SFW

2017

04

Apr

Madison Beer in a Magazine and in a Bikini of the Day

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Madison Beer is some stage parented, Justin Bieber found object, with tits that are trying to make it in America through song, and through tits, because people like 18 year olds and their tits, and now is the window of their tit opportunity to maximize and establish their tit future.

Now she’s in a magazine, showing the tits, but not to the extent we want to see the tits, that’s all part of the tit mystery.

Here is her social media tits…

Here she is in fitness

Posted in:Madison Beer|SFW

2017

04

Apr

Mischa Barton Desperate for Cash of the Day

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I don’t know what Mischa Barton’s marketing hustle is, but she was on Dr Phil yesterday, and unlike the CASH ME OUSSIDE girl who now has 8 million followers for being some illiterate pile of trash who America Loves…no one cared about Mischa Barton…

The whole show was about how she is stigmatized for being crazy, all because she was certified insane a while ago, and because a few months ago she had another crazy episode….but it also covered this new Sex Tape scandal, that is clearly a marketing hook, because no one gives a fuck about the Mischa Barton sex tape, we live in a porn era and she doesn’t matter, but with media she gets coverage and interest and it will increase the sale price of the tape that as of now is worth 500 bucks at best….but that they are trying to get 500k for…WHAT THE FUCK….

Well, she’s so down on her luck and crazy and in need of money, that aside from marketing her sex tape like she’s the victim, because she’s not getting work…she’s also promoting hooker water for the paparazzi owned hooker water company…that I guess they are paying her to be part of …or that I guess she is hoping sells sex tapes and the whole thing isn’t that hot or exciting because the main flaw in it is that it is Mischa Barton….

She’s old, she’s misguided and she’s pretty much done…did…

Posted in:Mischa Barton|SFW

2017

04

Apr

Robot Kidman Nude in her Series of the Day

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TOM CRUISES robot wife is still on her show…and I still said all I need to say about her last week when I first saw clips from the show….because robot Nicole Kidman makes me laugh and her whole storyline is funny….but I only have so much to say about her…

So it’s better when she’s getting naked in a movie, not in a weekly series, so I can stagger the Scientology created her in the basement lab to mask Tom Cruise’s gay…like they mask Danny Masterson’s rape… and when they fired her as his robot wife…something they trained the robot to be while producing her movie the Stepford Wives…they forgot to give her the “ghost” in her shell….like she was Scarjo…..and she continues to go on…soulless…acting…getting naked…looking pretty much the same as she always has…because Robots don’t age…and I guess when the apocalypse finally happens…and this bitch continues to exist…the world will find out the truth…but unfortunately we will all be too dead to basque in the glory of knowing I am right and that these tits are AI…something that won’t stop you from jerking off to her – because AI is your only hope in finding love….because you’re pathetic and fuck inanimate objects as it is…

I come from an era where the fat dude from NYPD Blue, Denis Franz, showing his ass on TV caused an uprise with the Christian weirdos who try to repress human nature and the human experience, so seeing TV take it’s cue from internet porn always speaks to my soul…keep up the good fight you big budget fucks…

Posted in:Nicole Kidman

2017

04

Apr

Tove Lo Naughty Performance of the Day

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Tove Lo is an artist people. She has a song that was really huge and that means she comes from a special place where artists come from…you know because commercial success is what actually defines artists..or maybe it’s what makes artist go over the top in their artistry so that people don’t discover they are actually just a bunch of posers, fame whores, trying to cash in…narcissists who love being stared at and watched….by people who pay to see them….dancing monkeys record labels use to cash in on…because it is a business after all…and real artists are usually too busy in basements, squatting, or in the jungle at some commune, or homeless on the street…to have the vanity needed to be a celebrity…so I call bullshit on Tove Lo…but support her attempt to trick the basic minded people into thinking she is art…by pulling out her tits…in concert…for kids…like a sex offender…because it’s just doing the Madonna 2.0….shock / awe / expose / be talked about, sell albums, fly private, buy mansions, support people….like real artists do….not that I care she’s showing her average at best tits…and that works for me….

Posted in:Tove Lo

2017

04

Apr

Mr Lea Michele Butt Shots of the Day

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Sir Lea Michele is on the hustle, I don’t know what she’s promoting, or why she is craving some male attention, or why she’s feeling hot and sexy, maybe she’s ovulating, LOL, I know dude’s don’t ovulate, but maybe she thinks she’s ovulating because she’s that into her role as lifelong woman, she needs to channel things women go through…or maybe she is a woman and I am just an asshole for calling her a dude due to her hard face, when she’s got a fit little body for a 30 year old, with some swollen, likely implant tits, making her face and her manly jaw irrelevant…something we can assume she’s trying to prevent herself as a whole, with her voice of an angel, in whatever it is she’s promoting by getting half naked, because that’s how people promote things, in this “don’t sexualize me, let me sexualize myself, since sex sells world”….

Posted in:Lea Michele|SFW

2017

04

Apr

Berit Birkeland Titties and Burgers of the Day

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I like seeing hot model bitches you’ve never heard of because they aren’t quite famous yet, but they are trying to get there and all it takes is a good music video or porn tape or seires of titty pics to get there – because that’s how the world works – get naked for followers – but never admit you’re doing it for that purpose – pretend it is empowering. GOOD FOR BUSINESS….

I also like when those model bitches you’ve never heard of are eating burgers and fries because I know it’s their one meal of the week, or maybe it isn’t even a mean and she went and puked it up, or maybe she eats like this daily but won’t be fat due to genetics, since she’s named BERIT…we can assume she’s first generation American from Minnesota..

But I really like…when their tits are out…like Berit’s tits…that are out…and have been out before – but never too many tits is what my granny always told me and my granny was always right…

Edgy.

Posted in:Berit Birkeland