DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2017

24

Mar

Ashley Graham Shoots for her Swimsuit Line of the Day

ASHLEY GREY HAM…or as she prefers Graham Cracker Crust on all the pie that she’s eaten to get herself to this overrated obesity that is seen as marketable because the world is fat and fat girls need a hero…because GREY HAM although more relevant for her sloppy, lackluster, expired sandwich meat of a body…from a pig…isn’t ass sweet or delicious…

She’s out there, ass out, for her black husband who built up her fat ego, to a fat place where it was oozing out cheese spread….making the money due to polarizing being a pig who is unhealthy, but current – because America is unhealthy….

Shamelessly trying to make more money through her fat girl in skimpy clothes modeling..

I guess we live in an era where fat girls are allowed at the beach, without being pointed and laughed at and forced to wear a snow suit….or long sleeved over sized t-shirt to protect their sensitive, pale from laziness, skin…

Which is really a fucking tragedy..she is a monster!! If you like monsters and you do…this one’s for you!

Posted in:Ashley Graham|SFW

2017

24

Mar

Hailey Baldwin on the Toilet of the Day

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Hailey Baldwin is not my favorite Baldwin – IRELAND BALDWIN …but she is a vapid spoiled young slut who chose the life of low level instagram celebrity – by attaching herself to other instagram celebrities…which ended up turning her into a low level instagram celebrity….but a higher level instagram celebrity than the girls you fuck with…but more importantly a higher paid instagram celebrity…when she’d be doing this shit for free, just for some attention, because she’s a rich kid and her dad’s a narcissistic asshole actor…and girl needs some male attention…

The most interesting thing about her bullshit career as a nothing, talentless, who does nothing but look pretty good….is that she fucked Bieber…when she was underage and smart enough to know that with her name, her looks, and her access to hang with the JENNERS..she could be the bootleg Jenner brands want to use for association to the Jenners…without paying Jenner Price…

I anxiously await her implosion, drug addiction, disaster that is her life…but in the mean time – here’s fashion shots of her taking a dirty shit after eating a dirty burger – due to the laxatives she’s addicted to in efforts to stay thin..

Posted in:Hailey Baldwin|SFW

2017

24

Mar

Eliza Cummings Nipple for Marie Claire Italia of the Day

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Eliza Cummings has a duty to live up to her name…by doing all she can in her low to mid level modeling to contribute to as many people CUMMING as possible, it’s her namesake. It is like someone named BAKER not knowing how to bake. Or someone named “Archer” not knowing anything about archery….or someone named “Potter” not knowing shit about Harry Potter, like that Emma Watson is not hot, or “Barber” not knowing how to cut hair…prferably pubic hair or someone named “Brewer” not knowing how to make beer, I want beer or “MILLER” not knowing how to MILL…whatever the fuck that means…or “Carpenter” not know how to make a goddamn cabinet…or “Carver” not knowing how to use a knife….or someone naked “Pound” not knowing how to POUND THAT PUSSY…

You get where I am going with this……I’ll keep going for another 45 seconds….

Or “Chandler” not being a candle maker, or “PIPER” not knowing how to suck dick…or “Cockburn” not knowing how to burn cock, or “Cook” not knowing how to cook, or “Chase” not being a rapist….

You get where I am going with this……and that is that she’s showing tit for a fashion magaizne – so racy.

Posted in:Eliza Cummings

2017

24

Mar

Britney Spears Amateur Runway Model of the Day

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Britney Spears posts videos of her walking down the hallway in various dresses..like an annoying wife showing you her purchases she made with your credit card…only in Britney Spears case it is with her credit card, unless it was given to her for free….and really if anyone in her circle and their family members…including but not limited to K-Fed…were wearing dresses it’d be safe to assume this catwalker, hallway walker, that 2,000,000 people watched hallway walk…in her new dresses…paid for the shit…because she’s a fucking earner, and that’s how these things work…they make money, for others to rape and pillage her for her money but keep her entertained by letting her update her social media…like a the braindead easily entertained muppet….

Posted in:Britney Spears|SFW

2017

24

Mar

Lindsay Lohan in a Bathing Suit Erotica of the DAy

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Lindsay Lohan and her manager Scott – who looks like he’s a 13 year old frat boy rich kid who managed to sell Lohan on the dream…to boost his social media….because she’s a disaster and needs to be sold the dream that he can spin her life around….because Lohan is god….and there should be no reason they don’t spin her story and get her paid – besides the fact that she is a total fucking crazy person who self destructs…

They are in Thailand to take social media pics…..and/or lohan to rich people for sex. Big pimpin’…

What it comes down to is Lohan is perfect….

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan|SFW

2017

24

Mar

Kristen Bell Tits of the Day

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Kristen Bell is relatively uninteresting, watching her and her husband Dax promote themselves in what is one of the more annoying late 90s teen comedy unions, besides Sarah Michelle Gellar and Freddy Prinze Jr….but people like her, and now they have more reason to like her, because she’s got tits…

Maybe it’s a post pregnancy implant situation – that makes her a lot more interesting or appealing…maybe it’s movie magic…maybe looking at Kristen Bell tits is kinda dull, boring, uninteresting, uneventful and all that…but dammit…they are tits and that is the whole point of them…to be stared at…and I guess to feed babies and all that other biological purpose….like making men think you’re fertile enough to cum inside you because on a genetic level that’s what we as men are attracted to…

Posted in:Kristen Bell|SFW

2017

24

Mar

Christina Milian’s Slutty Shoot of the Day

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Christina Milian is garbage – and here are some pics of her in a bikini doing a slutty shoot like the Kardashians she is trying to be – or channeling to apply their tactics of rich and ratchet to her own career….

I just like remembering she’s a mom, who decided to not let that kid get in the way of her hard living, partying and being a ratchet…that kid was a business decision and she has staff and a mom to handle it so that she doesn’t have to miss out on living…

Posted in:Christina Milian|SFW

2017

24

Mar

Selena Gomez and Her TITS DOING Tit Things of the Day

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Selena Gomez looks well rested, with her new face, that a big black cock probably cums on – not because she’s a slut…and has porn sex because she’s a broken girl who had her childhood robbed of her because she was funding her family..but because all girls have porn sex. It’s the nature of the world and some rapper at the top of his game who has needs, and probably gets those needs filled, but don’t let Selena Gomez know…she’s good for business…

She’s all glowing…filled with TESTOSTERONE SHOTS DRIPPING OUT OF HER TWAT….that will lead to weird ethnic babies…doing her titty things.

Good implants…though..

Posted in:SFW

2017

24

Mar

Nicki Minaj TWERK of the DAy

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What the world needs less of….is Nicki Minaj….

Her shitty mall brand rapping that was created in a marketing department of a record label to scam the world…like the CASH ME OUSSIDE chick…you know someone who now has 8 million followers from being on Dr Phil….a show NO ONE watches…I mean other than really sad unemployed people on disability….and the chances of a Dr Phil segment going viral without a team of people pushing it…is a fucking lie….a lie like Nicki Minaj….

But at least she shakes her stupid fake ass, to go with her stupid fake existence, for her social media fans that buy into her bullshit…cuz she’s rich and “famous”….which is all it takes for idiots to buy into this…..that is clearly some contrived strategic parody of what an actual black woman is….

Posted in:Nicki Minaj|SFW

2017

24

Mar

Kate Beckinsale for National Puppy Day and Some Leggings from the Wrong Angle of the Day

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It’s national puppy day, which I assume is a bullshit holiday for social media, but I am a fan of dogs, they are better than humans – and anyone with a dog knows that they are fun, cute, sweet, loyal, selfless, funny…and even when they eat a baby’s face off…I side with them because babies are shitty, ungrateful, asshole mooches who try to ruin your life and your napping…

So I do support national puppy day over national donut day – or any of the other bullshit days – because puppies will save your fucking soul….

I have a dog and encourage everyone to get a dog, to support RESCUE dogs, to support shelters, to support anything dog…and to jerk off to Kate Beckinsale with a puppy in her pocket, by imagining it being your cock…

She also does things with cats…not the kind of pussy play we’d like…but whatever…

And Here she is in leggings from the wrong angle…

She’s Kate Beckinsale, loved by the weirdest of nerds because she was in movie once, a mom in her 40s..who still looks this good, but that’s not all that rare in this era of plastic surgery, just yesterday I was staring at the mom in leggings over the daughter in leggings, because her ass was sturdier..

It’s a new generation, a new beginning, a new time to be alive….or maybe I’m just more perverted.

Posted in:Kate Beckinsale|SFW