DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2016

21

Jul

Jessica Alba’s Pineapple Bikini of the Day

Jessica Alba is still hot. I like her pineapple outfit, it’s pretty appropriate, maybe even cultural appropriation seeing as she’s in Hawaii, the land where pineapple farmers came into to kick the Queen out of rule and implement their own government, so that they could run pineapples around the world in canned juice, canned rings, and eventually with the advent of AIR travel, just full on fresh pineapple….I’m talking to you DOLE….

A culture destroyed for the fucking pineapple…that this Mexican migrant farmer, the hot as fuck celebrity / business woman / billionaire version of a migrant farmer….is proudly wearing on her outfit like a typical mainland American visiting their tropical South Pacific state…

TO SEE THE MORE PICS OF HER IN A BIKINI CLICK HERE

Posted in:Jessica Alba|SFW

2016

21

Jul

Pregnant Ariel Winter of the Day

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Nothing sexier than Ariel Winter’s big belly hanging out in some loose fitting shoot – no wait I mean nothing sexy about Ariel Winter’s big belly anywhere…I mean sure she can put the braless because it was rebuilt tit out there hard nippled – so you can really visualize what her new tit looks like – a good activity for people who actually know who Ariel Winter is – because they watched her tits grow on network TV during her puberty…

I don’t know if she’s pregnant – or if she’s just a confident chubby girl who doesn’t give a fuck because she’s made it, is used to being put out there, but it reminds me of the drunk, overly forward and out there fat girl at the bar in a crop top making you uncomfortable before you give in a finger her on the dancefloor – because she basically rapes your hand and you don’t know how to say no without making her feel bad…

I guess I’m just not into fat chicks.

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Ariel Winter|SFW

2016

21

Jul

Josie Canseco’s Nipples of the Day

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Josie Canseco is great and these are her nipples.

She’s the classy baseball daughter – naked after her dad, who’s mom is probably some low level MITT Slut…that’s what I’ve decided to call baseball wives…and maybe she worked as a cocktail waitress at some sports bar, or stripped at a strip club, or even an escort agency he rolled through on while on roid’s in need of letting off steam from his shrunken balls…

I don’t know where her parents met, I am just using deductive logic as to who baseball players accidentally knock up and commit to and marry….because athlete wives are always pretty trashy…but they have access to so much money….to do all the things they’ve ever dreamed….

Well here’s their daughter, her hot body, doing what anyone with a trust fund would do…model to feel sexy, pretty, noticed….

Posted in:Josie Canseco

2016

21

Jul

Kelly Brook’s Lookin’ Like Grimace of the Day

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I like her version vs the paparazzi version

Kelly Brook is a fat chick, who is pretty much fatter than ever, but quite possibly as fat as she’s always been, I’ve only met one dude who either fucked her or knew people who fucked her and he was very vocal at how misleading her pictures are and how disgusting she actually is, or was, in her 20s, pretty much 20 years ago, when she was still in the UK fucking Rugby players…

I just find it interesting that in a plus sized model era, she finally come out as the plus sized she’s been struggling with her entire career, not that she’s a real model, just a Glamour titty model, the lower hanging fruit with big tits willing to show off her big tits….kind of model…and I don’t even think she’s worked as a titty model for years…she’s just been riding that wave like any dude who has fucked her has ridden her waves cuz she’s jiggly as fuck….

I find it interesting a how she knows her fucking angles hard, how to pose, the paparazzi versions of her versus her picture of herself are about 75 lbs heavier….making me question whats real anymore…everything is a lie…

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Kelly Brook|SFW

2016

21

Jul

Emily Osment Handstand of the Day

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Emily Osment is in a bikini doing a handstand….because I guess she wants to show the world her ass upside down – because why else would she post a picture of her in a bikini doing a handstand – for her own personal collection? Right…

I like to make fun of Emily Osment because I just assume she is Haley Joel Osment from the Sixth Sense after his sex change…in efforts to keep his youthful success alive…because everyone knows child stars are fucked in the head and do fucked up shit the second they aren’t cute anymore…you know dude was nominated for an oscar at 10 or some shit…and it went all down hill for him…peaking at 10 sucks…so he decides to reinvent himself as a chick and have a second stab at a career….

But people get bored when I keep saying the same thing…Jokes. No one actually reads this site…

Posted in:Emily Osment|SFW

2016

21

Jul

Alessandra Ambrosio Ass in a Bikini of the Day

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Skinny – mid 30s – mom – Brazilian – Alessandra Ambrosio is on some yacht in a bikini with a bunch of other models, because this is what models do when they aren’t getting paid too much money to stand around in a bikinis or half naked or whatever it is they do.

It’s nice to see these women pool their money together to have a fun girl’s vacation – I mean if you can afford it, why not take advantage!

Right? I mean there is no way that they are guests of some Billionaire….because they are power women and can pay their own damn bills…

Posted in:Alessandra Ambrosio|SFW

2016

21

Jul

Sarah Hyland’s Cleavage of the Day

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Sarah Hyland got tits, or is working on angles that show off her tits, because she’s from a culture, at least in her career and her upbringing, which are one in the same thing – that put a whole lot of focus on tits, whether it is her TV mom Sofia Vergara who made a career as an immigrant off her tits, or her sister on the show Ariel Winter who also had big tits, huge tits, that need to be cut off at 17 tits…giving this Sarah Hyland a complex, some insecurities, because when they are at the top of their game on a hit show that they’ve been on since kids, they don’t realize it…and focus on silly things like how to get their tits more attention…..

TO SEE PICS OF HER LEAVING STARBUCKS IN SHORTS BECAUSE YOU ARE HER BIG FAN….

CLICK HERE

Posted in:Sarah Hyland|SFW

2016

21

Jul

Em Rat Cow in a Bikni Getting Work of the Day

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Em Rat Cow is relatively uninteresting across the board. It’s one of those what more can we ask for or want from a girl who we’ve seen completely nude so many times that it is the only reason we know she exists…

Yes, she’s got a hot body, but when I see her doing anything besides the low level softcore porn she’s known for, I feel like I’m experiencing a stripper at a job interview at the grocery store to be a cashier…or bag girl…it’s like “bitch, get the fuck out of here”….only I guess “bikini” pics are in line with her nude pics – it all falls under the umbrella of instagram model – even if she’d never consider herself an instagram model – she probably tells people she’s an actress and hands out business cards with her IMDB profile on her vagina…like some kind of escort.

I don’t hate her, I just find her pretty repetitive, boring, uneventful…and uninspiring…step it up. Stop the yard.

Posted in:Emily Ratajkowski|SFW

2016

21

Jul

Micaela Schäfer Heart Nipples of the Day

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Micaela Schäfer is some German haggard 30 something, probably 40 something, low level Glamour Model who figured out a very simple tactic that fame whores in America and I guess the UK have always been aware of – and that’s getting naked at public events where the paparazzi are – because if you do something outrageous and are important enough to be at said event – where the paparazzi are taking pics – you’re important enough to get pushed out to the media for your stunt and the media is bored, likes sensationalized attention seeking nude stunts and end up talking about the character – and if that character does it over and over again – she eventually ends up existing.

So haggard Micaela Schäfer exists and she knows her tits are so critical to her job that she tattooed her nipples into hearts, as if her bolt ons are some kind of fashion accessory / business tool…because they are…

Well – she posted some topless pics to god knows where, it doesn’t excite me and I doubt it excites you, I just find it weird that a person wants this invisible attention so bad…some shit went wrong…