DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2016

19

Jul

Irina Shayk Looking Dumpy of the Day

I guess the good years are over for Irina Shayk and she did what had to be done by getting pregnant with Brad Cooper and his stupid swimming goggles – because she’s pushing 30 and it’s fucking time to breed. In Russian whore years, 30 is grandmother aged….and when you got a good A Lister that caters to your ego and has the fun lifestyle you like…you take that sperm and you make it stick…or maybe she’s just been eating at a lot of restaurants…either way, this is not the Irina Shayk I once praised as the hottest fake model around….this is a new monster and I miss what was…a reminder that we all get older even those of us with SOULS….because they are Russian…

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Posted in:Irina Shayk|SFW

2016

19

Jul

Gigi Hadid Titty Grab of the Day

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Gigi Hadid titty grab fro Vogue..because Vogue is high fashion, class and elegance….where titty grab pics happen…but they aren’t like the stripclub or porno magazines….it’s VOGUE and GIGI HADID is a rich kid, cut from the finest arab cloth in the depths of Los Angeles….where morals and values take priority….over vapid, superficial shit…

This is like when your lord and savior TRUMP gives a thumbs up / gun hand signal at the RNC pointing at his wife, like announcing to his boys that he gets to fuck her, or in a “check out her tits” kind of way…it’s trashy…because rich people are trashy….they fuck hookers and do trashy things…it’s just in a nice setting so it seems ok…but they are trashy…

Now I like trashy, I live for trashy, and seeing Gigi Hadid trashy in Vogue contributes to her troll that is her career so I approve…which I know is something she seeks…drunkenstepfather’s fucking approval…as if she even knows this site exists…she doesn’t have to cuz I just stare at tits. Her tits..or in this case tit.

Here she is for Tommy Hilfiger – Also classy…

Posted in:Gigi Hadid|SFW

2016

19

Jul

Natalie Portman for Some Magazine of the Day

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Natalie Portman did a photoshoot for a magazine….in a bra or bikini top…or whatever the fuck she’s wearing and it’s the kind of photoshoot that could cause accidents…her fan base loyal as fuck…in part due to star wars, in part due to being Jewish and a hot Jewish girl is something Jewish guys fucking love knowing that her vagina pumps out Jewish babies, something worth more than gold, and she’s Natalie Portman, who in 1999 was the end all, be all, hub of nerd semen everywhere…

So I’m not sure what this is for, why she’s on the comeback, what the deal is with Israel’s finest, but I do know she still looks good….and that’s more than I can say about myself or really anyone I’ve ever fucked.

Posted in:Natalie Portman|SFW

2016

19

Jul

Ava Sambora’s in a Bikini of the Day

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Ava Sambora is so marketable, yet she does the instagram hooker approach to modelng….I don’t understand how that happened, or why it happened, or how she is so disconnected with the simple steps it takes to get instagram famous, something they all want…when her mom is Heather Locklear and her dad is Bon Jovi’s right hand, both who have a pile of fucking money, they can use to help her produce good quality shit..

It’s like why pull the HADID and be a respectable model, when you can just be like Brooke Hogan or fucking whoever else had money and fucking failed at making it work because she went for trashy instead of gold, even though all of it is the fucking same and equally fucking trash…

I believe in Ava Sambora…she will turn this around…ideally onto all fours so I can see more of where her asshole and pussy meet…my favorite seam on any body..

Posted in:Ava Sambora|SFW

2016

19

Jul

Miranda Kerr – Bikini Photoshoot of the Day

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Miranda Kerr did a photoshoot for her boyfriend at Snapchat, not necessarily commissioned for the dude at Snapchat, but for the billionaire in spirit because she needs to keep him interested in her.

His app is peaking and very fucking important in the current media landscape, which is enough to make someone feel like a God who created such a wonderful thing that made him piles of money, it only happens once in a while, and with that level of young money, big money, on a brand that is so internationally accepted, comes a lot of girls, much hotter than Kerr, less obvious user opportunists than Kerr, less annoying than Kerr, who aren’t moms…like every single CURRENT VS model…who want his dick…making her seem a little obsolete…so get out there and do what you do mom….make it happen mom…maybe he’ll forget that you’ve been done for 5 years…because everything about him beyond her old tired used up pussy is NEW…and exciting…

Posted in:Miranda Kerr|SFW

2016

19

Jul

Helena Christensen for RUSSH Magazine of the Day

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Helena Christensen has hard nipples…and it’s a nice reminder of a better, simpler time, where she was a Victoria’s Secret model before Victoria’s Secret was played out, tacky, for basic ghetto bitches in every fucking mall. You know when they were catalog and innovative, sending jerk off material to homes everywhere without getting in trouble…

She must be 100 fucking years old in model years, and she’s probably seen a whole lot of dirty dirty things in her 75 year career, but she’s still got it going on…she’s Danish that isn’t Nina Agdal sensationalized dog shit that fucks A Lists….trying to make it…she’s Danish…that has made it…and still has it going on..

Posted in:Helena Christensen|SFW

2016

19

Jul

Sara Sampaio – Skinny Model in a Bikini of the Day

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Sara Sampaio is skinny…and uninteresting…in Mexico…where she probably won’t drink the water – but if she did, she’d probably die from the parasites she caught, after shitting out her insides because she’s skinny and has nothing to survive in a time of emergency…not that she shits, girls don’t shit, especially skinny girls…because we know the plus sized girls shit, all over the fucking place from all that eating, that they can pretend is just defense from the tropical trips they are forced to go on for their bikini model life…

Right?

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Sara Sampaio|SFW

2016

19

Jul

Kate Beckinsale’s Bikini Ass of the Day

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Kate Beckinsale may be old and I may hate old chicks – but she’s one of the few old chicks who is still magical….she’s a mom with a teenage daughter – yet she still looks like this – something you sometimes see leaving YOGA studios…but it’s rare….

Her body is thin, maybe it’s angles, maybe it’s good DNA, maybe it’s some science experiement gone right….maybe it’s being a rich kid, living the good life, experiencing very little stress in her life – but stress is relative, some of these bitches who have never starved don’t realize what starving is and breaking a nail causes life fucking breakdowns….but whatever it is is good…

I mean, we’re not looking at her stomach, or her ravaged vagina, so maybe this is tricking me and the nerds to keep on believing….and keep on believing I will do….but unfortunately, the reality of 40 year old women I fuck with is that they are not anything like this….and are a lot too fucking real but they aren’t Kate Beckinsale…

Posted in:Kate Beckinsale|SFW

2016

19

Jul

Katrina Bowden’s Butt Shots in Vegas of the Day

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Aspiring celebrities and aspiring models all struggle to have compelling social media, because jobs are all based on social media, so someone like Emily Rat Cow just goes full nude whore and has millions of followers, where someone like Katrina Bowden, who has been on TV and in movies, has almost less followers than my @drunkenstepfatherdotcom…because actors are lazy, especially women who are used to being spoon fed, and are really just puppets that don’t really deserve the jobs they’ve got, they just sort of happened…but she posted a bunch of butt shots because I guess she’s trying to find an angle to say “Hey, I could be Margot Robbie too, pervert dudes like me”….here’s her ass from a bunch of shots trying to find the right one…but the internet was there to pick it up…

Posted in:Katrina Bowden|SFW

2016

19

Jul

Victoria Justice Being Fed Booze in a Bathing Suit of the DAy

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I call this series of pics “doing the Bill Cosby”…you know feed a girl a fruity, rummy, pina colada style drink…and 30 minutes later – finger bang the bitch and hope she doesn’t wake up or remember – because finger-banging a girl who is sleeping is RAPE – but they still get wet when you do it – because they’re drugged and don’t know better – but that’s not the point…the point is that this Victoria Justice, who was the main character of a show that Ariana Grande came out of – is in a bathing suit – probably questioning how it all went wrong for her….but that cunt on her show made it so big…very depressing for her, but she’s still a young starlet, in a bathing suit making that money….

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Posted in:SFW|Victoria Justice