DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2016

18

Jul

Jessica Alba in a Bikini of the Day

Jessica Alba and her billion dollar tits…can teach us a very valuable lesson. The first is that the elasticity of Mexican skin makes a bitch age nicely when she’s rich and famous and can work out everyday, so unlike TRUMP’s approach to Mexicans, America should be skinning them and making masks out of them to look more youthful, or you could do like Jessica Alba’s husband and just fuck one and breed her…either way, she looks good for her age and number of babies….but then again she’s hollywood and not typical poor mexican who gains 60 lbs per litter..

The other lesson she can teach us is that even when you don’t have talent as an actor, if you’re hot, just go for it, they will always need a hot chick to play the hot chick that they will promote as the hot chick to make money off the hot chick….giving hope to all the instagram girls who want this level of fame…or stamp of approval…to be the next ALBA….

The last lesson she can teach us is that if you have that fame and audience from being a hot chick from movies, you can build a billion dollar brand based on bullshit – awesome – way better than working the Mexican restaurant making tortillas…

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Jessica Alba|SFW

2016

18

Jul

Ireland Baldwin’s Naked of the Day

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Ireland Baldwin reminds us that not every girl who does TREATS! is a low level internet whore, looking for a sugar daddy….and that sometimes they get B List actors, and in this case a low level LA rich kid with famous parents who is trying to get her break in a world that her own cousin stole her glory after putting in all that work all those years ago…forcing her into some kind of depression, that ended up in a weird lesbian relationship, and it all stems from being the kid her dad famously called a little pig in voice mails her mom made public during the divorce. THANKS MOM AND DAD…

That said, she’s a big girl with big tits and I like this direction her non-career- or personal brand is going – it’s like if beach shoots don’t work…get naked…

I don’t have the uncensored pics since Ireland blocked me on all social media – more than once, she’s not a fan of my love for her…self destructive in a way that instead of working with me – she’ll work against me…but I’m sure they’ll come out eventually and no one, but me, will care…because this love is real.

Posted in:Ireland Baldwin|SFW

2016

18

Jul

Aline Weber by Gilles Bensimon for Maxim of the DAy

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Aline Weber is a tall, Brazilian model who was born in 1989….she was in the movie A Single Man…where she played a student named Lois….but she is probably known for her high fashion modeling…in high fashion magazines…doing high fashion things – including getting naked enough for those of us not into porn, but into naked hot chicks…making her purpose that of pornography, but her career not one in pornography…

So the interesting thing about her is that despite being a tall, Brazilian model…her name is German, she looks German and her family heritage is definitely German and who I’ll pretend was not raised by a Nazi War criminal family that escaped to South America for refuge after WWII..She’d be the third generation…all Aryan..and portuguese speaking.

This is a shoot for Maxim, a magazine that is on a revival after struggling during the internet era that made magazines irrelevant, and they are taking the LUI magazine approach of hot pics by great photographers of hot girls who aren’t just gutter fame whore, but rather actual models..

It’s basically what Playboy is trying to do and failing at – because we only care about Playboy for the nipples, it was always high quality – except the trashy 2000s…. where as these pics for Maxim are actually edgy and maxim pushing concept from Maxim who used to produce crap….evolution….

Posted in:Aline Weber|SFW

2016

18

Jul

Lindsey Vonn Spreading Her Legs Like She Did for Tiger of the Day

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I lived in ski country – around ski people – who love skiing – so I’ve always known who
Lindsey Vonn is. I’ve always heard her name brought up and I’ve always heard people say “she’s the hot skier who wins”…but I never really took it too seriously – since no skier that I’ve ever met – from low level ski instructor to ski racer – has been hot – they always liked to fuck, they were like dudes, with massive legs and at the time I was at the ski hill at 18-19 working as a janitor – terrifying.

But Lindsey Vonn knew her fame was dwindling, that she was old, and that it was important for her to really explore her sexuality, or market her sexuality, showing off that she’s got a pussy that she likes getting fucked, or that she’s got sex appeal that are beyond just having the ability to blow out your dick by bouncing on it – like a skier is built to do…

So she dated Tiger Woods amongst all the heat he was getting for fucking hookers and the last month – she’s been trying to be sex in public for the paparazzi – in bathing suits or slutty dresses or whatever this is – really announcing / introducing her vagina to the world…saying “follow me on instagram, I’m slutty and you like slutty”…so that she can cash the fuck in – because who the fuck cares about pro skiers – no one. No one cares abotu pro skiers.

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Lindsey Vonn|SFW

2016

18

Jul

Bella Hadid in a Bikini of the Day

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Bella Hadid is the hotter more strategic Hadid sister. She was clever enough to watch her fame whore sister struggling with fake friendships and hustling in her own rich girl way to get internet famous as the Kardashian groupie – built like a model – who could actually pull off modelling thanks to her mom being a model – before being a sugar baby married to a rich arab man…

While Bella probably just casually worked a part time job at the deli or whatever rich kids do to pretend to be busy for their parents to give them that trust fund money – until it was time to hop on board – and get her own modeling career – without doing any of the bitch work…thanks to her sister, people noticed and liked her better since no one likes the “look at me, look at me” brat…we all like the mysterious darker sister with more plastic surgery…

She’s on vacation – in a bikini – it’s good times.. for a girl who’s life is a vacation and good times – and probably doesn’t even realize it – they way I like my women – you know unappreciative and hot…

Posted in:Bella Hadid|SFW

2016

18

Jul

Kirsten Dunst’s Best Work of the Day

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I don’t know why seeing Kirsten Dunst struggle in a tight parking spot – brings me a lot of joy….but it does…

Is it her ass in shorts, or her grey skinned legs, or the fact that she’s skinny and half dead looking – but still has massive tits that are holding her back from getting out of her car after parking like an asshole or if it’s just the asshole in me who likes when assholes end up in asshole situations like this…locking a person into their spot, or locking themselves in with a dumb parking job -when they were getting their nails done or something – it’s like a reminder that people are inconsiderate fucks – especially rich and famous people on a schedule and the struggle applies to everyone – but maybe the passenger of that care won’t care when they know that KIRSTEN DUNST – superstar did this not that they’d care…

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Kirsten Dunst|SFW

2016

18

Jul

Sandra Kubicka Naked for TREATS! of the Day

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Sandra Kubicka is some Polish “model” who has what looks like some small sized bolt on tits.

She’s not all that hot, sure she takes a hot body and has a really good body, but and I guess hot according to my standards or opinion doesn’t really mean a fucking thing and a girl who I can look at and as I wonder “why is she a known model getting work, when there are way hotter girls”…she’s getting work…

Not that these pics for TREATS! are actually work, because she’s not getting paid to be naked, but it is work in terms of getting her in front of the right eyeballs, the rich LA dudes who hire these women as wives, you know brining her to the right table that she’s already been sitting at, hence the opportunity to get naked for the magazine looking for the next sugar babies willing to participate in their rich pervert games…this is how a girl lines up her retirement…

I’d be interested to see what circles / dudes this Polish girl signed to a modeling agency, probably living in LA or Miami – or both – fucks or has fucked and for what amount of money or connections…it’s almost her cultural requirements…I mean she’s Polish and a jet setter…there’s more to this story….but in the mean time – she’s in TREATS! which answers some of those questions…

Posted in:Sandra Kubicka

2016

18

Jul

Kelly Brook – Filled Out of the Day

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Kelly Brook is a big girl with big tits…she really doesn’t matter, she’s pushing 40, she never quite made it in mainstream despite her ego bringing her to LA to act, after a decade of TITTY Modeling in the UK, and she only did one movie no one cared about.

Young people don’t know she exists, old dudes who read this site really like her and I have no idea why, but I’ve been calling her fat since before she was this fat…the kind of photoshopped as fuck because massive tits usually come with massive everything else, it’s just science or biology and when bitch is pushing 40, probably pregnant with yet another boyfriend, she’s always got different boyfriends, it’s amazing that she’s not 400 pounds…you know still fat enough to starve herself a month for a shoot- but pushing that limit…

Kelly Brook doesn’t matter, but here I am posting on her, what does that say about me….oh that I try to leverage fat girls and their celebrity to get clicks that I can sell to advertisers instead of working a real job….that’s what…

I guess it’s the era of the fat chick and she’s finally giving into her metabolism…or she’s just old…or maybe it’s both…

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Kelly Brook|SFW

2016

18

Jul

Doutzen Kroes in ELLE of the Day

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Do you believe in life after Victoria’s Secret modeling? Doutzen Kroes has taking her commerical marketable socially accepted hotness and shown us all that even when Victoria’s Secret says “fuck off you’re not worth the money we’ve paid you all these fucking years”….she can still post topless or in panties or both for magazines,

It’s like if you train a woman to pose half naked – like the best – you know like an olympian of half naked modeling – she will always find her way – even when those people turn on her – seeing as getting half naked is always something people are looking for.

And if that doesn’t workout, you can always get knocked up twice by some famous and successful DJ from your hometown…

Either way, nice to see Doutzen surviving – and not obese…eating her feelings – based on her failures…you know waking up and going to the studio and stripping like she’s meant to.

Posted in:Doutzen Kroes|SFW

2016

18

Jul

Amy Schumer Bodyshames Herself in a Bikini of the Day

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Thank god Amy Schumer is funny, or people find her funny, or people think she’s a great writer, or her bitter ugly chick allowed her to create a sense of humor from all the bad sex and social observation she faced – because that’s how life works out for unattractive people – I know – because I am one..

Only unlike Amy Schumer, I’d never leave the house and arrogantly think my voice should be heard, I’m more into accepting failure before even trying so that I can nap….but this one is so cocky, and may even have a cock, not because women can’t be funny and must be packing penis, but because I don’t think this is a woman…sure she’s in a bikini – and sure she shouldn’t be judged for wearing a bikini seeing as she’s not pretending to be a hot model – but owning this, having confidence to wear this – makes me think some kind of mental disorder or delusion is going on in this funny girl’s mind.

I am not a fan of her as a comic, I am definitely not a fan of her body shaming herself by walking around half naked like it’s some kind of joke – a terrible joke – but I’ll say – I expected her to be much fatter and the real tragedy is that face…making her career all the more fascinating, unless ugly chubby girls are given handouts out of sympathy – it is the politically correct era – where we can’t lock them in the basement or abandon them in the woods until they die.

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Amy Schumer|SFW