DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2016

07

Jul

Famewhore Bella Thorne is the New Lohan in a Bra of the Day

Bella Thorne is the new Lohan, not broken or haggard yet – but still has red hair and exploitive parents still not quite at her peak and really could be just a splash in the pan we don’t remember – but there is still hope she gets one hit role to support her hit Instagram where she uses her tits to get hits in a subtle but obvious way – which will make the crash far more enjoyable….

But I don’t mind spending two seconds a day or less paying notice to her antics my life is dull and empty – might as well fill up on junk food like this….

To see the rest of the pics click here

Posted in:Bella Thorne|SFW

2016

07

Jul

Loving 30 Year Old Lohan in a Bikini of the Day

No Comments »

I am still celebrating Lindsay Lohan’s birthday. The big 3-0…

She’s haggard -and amazing….but not overly fat and Her tits are awesome…so she’s doing just fine!

I just pathetic enough to be Trying to figure out her pussy mound / pussy definition is awesome – even a mystery because that’s the first thing I look at in any bathing suit situation….and I am not too sure what I am looking at but I feel like it may be heaven – a shit stained, scabby, heaven…..my queen..

To see the rest click here

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan|SFW

2016

07

Jul

Marloes Horst Topless Photoshoot of the Day

No Comments »

Marloes Horst is a Victoria’s Secret model who by default is also a Titty model because models aren’t models unless they get topless these days and I guess that’s a good thing if you’re into tits like some kind of queer Titty fetishist…which I guess applies to all of us, women and men included thanks to breast feeding as a baby….getting hooked on or latched on before we knew how to do much…making it the responsiblity of women everywhere to show me their tits…my contact info is at the top of the site where it says contact…

Here she is not naked for playboy by david bellemere because playboy doesn’t do nudity you perverts – not at all – it’s ad friendly this way…

Posted in:Uncategorized

2016

07

Jul

Charlize Theron Making Out with her Phone of the Day

No Comments »

Actors are theatrical to the point of being so fucking fake and obnoxious – and I guess a tormented soul from South Africa who was shipped out here in the 90s after her mother murdered her abuaiv me father- which I guess is normal South African Behavior at least if you ask the legless Olympian….

So a broke fatherless model imported to America where she was forced to make it or bust saw some hard times – did playboy in those hard times – looked amazing in those hard times and I guess impressed the guardian angel producer in those hard times because two decades later she’s an Oscar winner and her obnoxious casting couch antics can be saved for public FaceTime calls when the paparazzi is watching – we get it Charlize you’re a big personality with no dad…but millions of dollars. You won! You beat that statistic cuz your street hooker daddy issues are way more luxurious….

To see the rest of the pics click here

Posted in:Uncategorized

2016

07

Jul

Ashley Benson in Miami of the Day

No Comments »

Chubby Ashley Benson who is less chubby than she was but was an iconic figure in the youth culture scene because she’s on a hit show that targets them but also because her chubby body mimics theirs making her accessible and even more famous…

I know her from sex scenes in Springbreakers – a movie I like to think represented all that is wrong in the world with kids these days and their shitty rap music and bodies but I guess she’s done other things like this Snapchat from Miami zero erotic but people still care because our lives are pathetic….

Posted in:Ashley Benson|SFW

2016

07

Jul

Cindy Bruna Fashion Nipple of the Day

No Comments »

Posted in:Cindy Bruna

2016

07

Jul

Paris Hilton’s Ass in a Dress of the Day

No Comments »

Paris Hilton may be in her mid to late 30s but like any superficial Beverly Hills rich kid – she knows the value of looking good and staying skinny. It’s a superficial world and you are what you present yourself as which in Paris’ case is a sensationalized overrated dumb blonde with a sex tape who talks in baby talk to be cute who above all is not fat and willing to show you because it’s how she markets herself.

I am convinced she owns a percentage of Kim Kardashians empire because I’ve heard she’s a brilliant business person from a global hotel brand stock and not some bootleg sugar baby and lawyer daughter that is Kim K, and even if she’s not getting her 10-20 percent off the top, she’s still able to leverage that international brand name that is her last name for Arab men who pay her to go to their parties – it is status and probably a biohazard….at least in the pussy range…

She still looks good to me….

To see the rest of the pics click here

Posted in:Paris Hilton|SFW

2016

07

Jul

Michelle Monaghan & Malin Akerman Bikini Jump of the Day

No Comments »

I guess this is Malin Akerman and some chick named Michelle Monaghan decided to do a mutual Suicide jump like they were Asian students that didn’t get accepted to their school and couldn’t face being a disappointment to their family – only instead of dying – they are doing it in a fun and playful not very sexy but still in bikinis way….

I guess this could have ended in paralysis but instead it ended in her husband Chris Pratt’s nice pool that will be hers after the divorce as these things usually workout…

Posted in:Malin Akerman|SFW

2016

07

Jul

Joanna Krupa Dog Shit Erotica of the Day

No Comments »

As much as I think picking up dog shit is the responsible thing to do in a city as a dog owner – I always find it amazing or funny or pointing and laughing worthy when I see hot diva looking girls do it…..you know I pick up my dog shit like the low level Mexican that I am…and as an obese men with no flexibility it’s pretty comedic…but when a vapid polish girl who could have been a housekeeper but instead because a sugar baby prostitute to a rich man – who wears designer clothes – the trashiest designer clothes but still designer clothes – and has a staff of Mexicans because that’s what these girls do – but I guess all that changes when your shitty show you were on for free because you positioned your prostituting “model” into relevant person…you’re forced to pick up your dog shit yourself.

Tough times, nice enough fake tits…they have done her well….but not that well because after all the glory we are both the same- shit picker uppers and late night downers to help us sleep with all this pain….

To see the rest of the pics click here

Posted in:Joanna Krupa|SFW

2016

07

Jul

Carrie Underwood in a Bikini of the Day

No Comments »

I would prefer the wholesome heartland singing country star who is recently divorced and / or remarried like a good Christian – not wearing a bikini.

I want to see the full body swimming suits the real Christians wear. All culty and Mormon….because I like my country music to be gospel from the 1920s, all sad and tormented during crop sharing depression before the dust bowl…and not white trash Stripper hick half naked…of the truck driving trailer park country music of today…:

But that’s just because I like seeing the hypocrisy in these God loving people in a less obvious way, you know commit to your Jesus loving lie even though we all know have you’re a white loving Slut who probably takes black dudes and pretends to be the plantation owner…wholesome white people are fucked….

Trick me like you tricked America…. But I guess bikinis aren’t bad….

To see the rest of the pics click here

Posted in:Carrie Underwood|SFW