DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2016

01

Jun

Taylor Swift is Single and the Fucking Worst of the Day

I guess Taylor Swift Terminated the pregnancy that my very reliable source told me she was pregnant…and I still believe that she could be…because I would hate to be seen as anyone who promotes fake information…actually, I wouldn’t mind that – my entire existence has been trolling…and I’m really into her being pregnant because now that her and her DJ who she pretended and acted so in love with – despite him being a DJ who tours at clubs and is surrounded by young horny girls – making him not loyal at all – but more a “I can’t believe I’m rich from this, I was always so awkward and now that I fuck Taylor Swift all the girls want me”….kind of guy…are broken up – she’ll be forced to raise a bastard baby –

Unless she already terminated the pregnancy…

Oh how great it would be to be in the inner circle and to know exactly what is happening to her uterus….coupled with all the tactics used to troll the world…into loving her….

But I’m just like everyone else, watching her complain about FROGS in an instagram video she posted a week ago!!

Here’s some bikini romance staged bullshit to perpetuate her lies…

Posted in:SFW|Taylor Swift

2016

01

Jun

Arnold Schwarzenegger Gets Chased by Elephants of the Day

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Arnold Schwarzenegger is amazing in everything he does, he just has to open his mouth and speak in his stupid fucking accent and I laugh…so seeing him on his African Safari where he’s not killing majestic creatures with his action hero weapons – or his bare hands..as he should…probably because a mother didn’t let her 3 year old crawl into the Elephant den…forcing the world to go into an uprising after killing the majestical creature – because we can all collectively say that bad parents deserve dead babies – and majestic creatures we exploit deserve life…but the elephant does charge him and it’s LOLz.

Posted in:Arnold Schwarzenegger|SFW

2016

01

Jun

Charlotte McKinney Naked for Attention of the DAy

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Charlotte McKinney stretching, showing you her flexibility, the moves that would have been perfect for a stripping career but her dad is rich so she will never have to strip…at least not in the traditional way…but still strips in the sense of taking off her clothes, just instead of 10 dollars a song she does it to keep her name in the mix because she’s got the taste of fame…which we can assume tastes a lot like rich man semen that helped her get on TV….and now she’s scrambling to keep the famous for nothing alive…with big naturals…that I think are good enough to keep the famous alive…because all women should be paid according to their bra size – and the only reason they aren’t is due to the feminist movement of the 60s who we were forced to listen to – but if you ask any man – they’ll agree…tits are all that matters….so throw the rest of Charlotte McKinney away…

Posted in:Charlotte McKinney

2016

01

Jun

Ebonee Davis Hot for LUI Magazine of the Day

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I hate that I’ve never fucked a black girl…because I fucking love black girls….but they don’t love me, I’m a Mexican and lower on the totem pole…not to mention my penis is too small for them…but I still fucking love black girls…so much flavor…so much soul…so exotic…so busty on a small frame…so perfect…

These tits are fucking amazing….all big…and big…on a small frame…making me wish black girls didn’t hate me…so that I got the chance to make hip hop beats on her vagina with my tongue….I hear they like that….and watermelon…and fried chicken…

Posted in:Ebonee Davis

2016

01

Jun

Stella Maxwell for Maxim by Gilles Bensimon of the Day

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I don’t give a fuck about assless Stella Maxwell. There’s something about her that I just can’t fucking stand. She’s just this opportunist who has no business being anything more than an instagram model, but she manipulated her way into the Victoria’s Secret party circle and used her fake friends to get in front of the right people – who packaged her as the hipster VS model…

Then she managed to make her Miley go alone with the whole being a lesbian – because it was good marketing for her tour that as soon as it ended went back to Miley being normal, you know putting that “character” up on the shelf until it’s next public appearance after the cash grab….and that mutually beneficial hustle from manipulating Miley to help endorse her…worked out better for her and and the whole thing is so frustrating because I hate when garbage pulls off serious scams…

But I will look at her or any skinny model bitch naked – I don’t care enough about their garbage behavior that works enough to let it outweigh her naked…

These pics are for Maxim Magazine, a magazine that used to buy traffic for me when I had more traffic than they did because I am god of the internet…shot by Gilles Bensimon, the old time photographer who has been doing this since the 60s, but more interesting was DOING ELLE MACPHERSON at her prime – which is amazing because she’s amazing and these pics are obviously the best Stella Maxwell has looked – nothing a little money, fame and success can do to a set of shitty hipster tits..

Some more outtakes..

Posted in:SFW|Stella Maxwell

2016

01

Jun

Kate Moss because She’s Kate Moss of the Day

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I don’t know if I love Kate Moss because I was in my 20s when she was coming up – getting beat up by Johnny Depp – the leader of the Heroin Chic Calvin Klein child erotica themed underwear late 90s hustle…

Or if it’s because she is constantly topless, with a whole doesn’t give a fuck attitude because like all these models who have won, she doesn’t give a fuck..she’s rich and she’s made it…

Or it may have more to do with her being 50 and still going strong….

But I think it’s because I know she’s got the dirtiest, beat up pussy, up there with a crackwhore pussy, because she dated possibly married heroin addict rockstars back when she was getting exposed doing coke at parties because that’s what models do…and you know that needle sharing rockstar fucked all kinds of groupies that indirectly were also rubbed up against Kate Moss….you see….I adore fucking dirt bags…especially bags of the vagina variety…

THese pics are for Alberta Ferretti’s fall campaign, whatever the fuck that is…I just know that they suck…but are still Kate Moss…and that’s good.

It more interesting Kate Moss news – she’s rumored to be banging an 18 year old named Jake Curtis – the son of some movie director – who is probably proud his boy lands A Class whore – even if she’s in her 50s / 42….same shit. This could be his instagram INSTAGRAM …good job…

Posted in:Kate Moss|SFW

2016

01

Jun

Tilda Swinton and Dakota Johnson Nude in Some Movie of the DAy

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Tilda Swinton must be a great actress, I mean she’d have to be looking the way she does…if she wasn’t a great actress no one would go near her…because she looks like some kind of cartoon character troll…out of some kind of horror movie…but at least she’s skinny.

She’s 55 and naked which is a terrifying concept in and of itself, but throw in a terrifying face and that orange hair – and this is what nightmares, or nightmare sex is based on…..

The movie called – A Bigger Splash…it must be a horror movie…because why the fuck else would this exist….and it’s not just to hate on Tilda Swinton, an actress that no one I have ever known has ever said was hot…ever….but I like naked..even when I hate it…

I could have happily gone through miserable life without ever seeing this…a bigger splash would have been her fully clothed, acting as she does in some gut wrenching performance, giving advice on how to masturbate to a hot young girl naked and masturbating…that’s how I’d like to jerk off to Tilda Swinton, you know the older lesbian school teacher violating the youth…but we take what we get and hopefully she got this naked thing at 55..out of her system…I wouldn’t be too into it at 75…but then again…maybe I would be..with this internet porn – my fetishes are shifting….

More interestingly, the movie also has Dakota Johnson full frontal…not that Dakota Johnson is much more exciting than Tilda Swinton, but at least she’s not freakish, hobbit character looking, old actress….not showing the fiery bush, which is the one naked thing about her that I’d rather be staring at….but here’s Don Johnson’s bratty daughter.anyway…

Here’s the trailer – because I’ve never heard of this movie…that has brought us such gold..orange colored gold…

Posted in:Dakota Johnson|Tilda Swinton

2016

01

Jun

Maria Menounos Fat Ass in a Bikini of the Day

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Since Maria Menounos is greek, I don’t know if we can call her ass her ass or if we have to call it a vagina – since every greek woman I’ve had sex with has lived up to the legacy of their historical and cultureal commitment to anal sex….from philosophers and great thinkers banging young boys they taught…to the ghetto diner owner’s daughter…anal sex is as greek as Souvlaki…and if you’ve ever fucked a real greek girl she’ll ask you to use olive oil as lube, like it’s one of their grandmother’s tradition passed on generation to generation, or they’ll just let you go in raw – becuase all the olive oil they eat keeps their assholes well lubricated…

Someone should do scientific research on this, because I swear, it’s fact…

Maria Menounos is not interesting, she’s just a failed celebrity who ended up in a cheesy entertainment show, but she is household as a name – to perverts who had to watch the show…Mary Hart to this generation of perverts…but she’s pushing 40 and like all greek women in their 40s…her ass is fucking huge and that alone is more than enough to stare at…

Posted in:Maria Menounos|SFW

2016

01

Jun

Kate Bock in a Bikini of the Day

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I wonder who Kate Bock fucked to get into this modeling game. I always felt it would be fair for the dude behind the scenes, or the dudes behind the scenes to get some credit for supporting these models, their expensive lives, as they navigate the landscape of who to take pictures for – in efforts to get as much attention and social media coverage as possible.

I think it’d be only fair for her to say “well thanks to this rich stock broker I was fucking, I was able to meet some photographer for a magazine who was into shooting me, and on a tip this billionaire invited us on, we captured great pics we sent to a magazine who published them, and the rest is FUCKING HISTORY”…

But instead they act like they made it because they are legitimately hotter, more interesting, and deserving than equally hot bitches…

Seriously, I know this isn’t what “ALL GIRLS” look like, but it’s what all girls on instagram trying to be models look like…so why her, what’s her cometitive advantage, who is behind her…why is she in magazines and other bitches aren’t…

I want the story, but not really, I’ll just move onto the next slut in a bikini…you hear that Kate Bock…I’m done with you for now…

Posted in:Kate Bock|SFW

2016

01

Jun

Nicola Peltz is a Lovely Billionaire who Fucks Bieber of the Day

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Beiber’s billionaire girlfriend Nicola Peltz, who you may remember as being the daughter of some investment banker in NYC who probably raped and pillaged in his own legal way to become a billionaire…a fortune that allowed him to finance his vapid but hot daughter’s want and need for celebrity….so like a Hadid, they got to work, they paid to get her in one of the Transformers movie and she’s since done zero..but gone back to the drawing board to strategize like a real social media networker and influencer…leading to her now publicly dating Bieber…something anyone over 14 would be ashamed of, but not really, people hate on him but all want to fuck him…even you…fagoot…and that story of her and beiber is the most substantial thing she’s accomplished since Transformers…pretty pathetic if fame is what she’s working towards…pretty low level for a billionaire…but since she’s a billionaire and doesn’t need to work…I think it’s a great use of her pussy…and I guess time…

Posted in:Nicola Peltz|SFW