No matter how tired I am….I can always muster the energy to ask a girl for nudes, to ask her when the last time she masturbated, to ask her how big and what color her bush is, to ask her for nudes…or to ask her to describe the last time she made a guy cum without using her hands – mouth or pussy – like I run my own twisted game show…
Unfortunately, that’s not a marketable skill that will make me private jet money..but it’s so much more rewarding than that…it’s what really matters in this dark scary world….
I spent my day drunk on tequila – looking at booty in bikinis – while trying to figure out where my life went completely wrong…
But before I fully gave up and jumped into the kiddie pool in efforts to drown myself….I passed out and woke up now – ready to bring you the ever important – life changing stepLINKS…
Funny things happened today – from youthful instagram photoshoots I helped direct by saying “show me your tits”….”pull out your vagina lips”….to…no that’s pretty much it…and you don’t even care…but either do I…blogging is such an embarassing hobby when I can spend my days staring at real life tits that ignore me…
Here are some stepLINKS..
Girls in THIGH Gaps – GAPING – THIGH GAPES CLICK HERE
Kesha Raped Johnny Cash Like he was Dr Luke CLICK HERE
Gwen Stefani’s Monster Face at the Award Show CLICK HERE
I like this vagina forward picture of Hailee Steinfeld, not because I think Hailee Steinfeld is hot, despite her looking fitter than ever…
I never watched True Grit, and if I did, I wouldn’t have eagerly waited for the actress’ 18th birthday so that I can finally jerk off to her without guilt…
I assume that so many Hailee Steinfeld fans are creeps who fall for an actress when they are underage and stick it out….when they are of age because it feels less wrong. It happened with Lohan, Chloe Grace, Harry Potter Chick and pretty much any girl who turned 18 while famos….
I never liked Hailee Steinfeld, especially not her pop career, if anything I find it laughable and a sign of the times where anyone with any level of low level fame, can put out an album to cash out.. even if she’s making fucking bank on songs about her masturbating…and touching herself…doesn’t mean it’s godo…
I just like the vagina forward stance because it reminds me of an old joke about a girl with a vagina that would chase people and the host body that couldn’t control it….you wouldn’t understand…no one understands…
She has ass from a great angle in a skimpy bottom…
She also Had hard nipples in a one piece…..
I guess the nice thing about Steinfeld is that she’s not posting the shameless pics on social media like Lohan, she lets the paparazzi do it so she looks innocent and angelic when we all know they are all a bunch of whores!
I guess her family didn’t rob her of a normal childhood…because here’s Ariel Winter the 18 year old who has already had her tits remodeled thanks to being on TV since she was very young thanks to her parents whoring her out….at prom…like a normal girl…
Unlike a normal girl, she was home schooled on set where the teacher did all the work for her, as the actors union forced the production company to have her in school while acting…but like all actors they get to go through the motions and really pretend in their vapid empty but well paid existence that they really experienced it…bullshit, but cleavage pics….
Lindsay Lohan is everything….including a clever little censor who doesn’t want the world to see her tits because she’s already shown the world her tits and it didn’t really do much for her….other than make people bored of her…not because she has bad tits, in fact she’s got amazing tits, but once you see the tits you don’t really need the girl anymore…you got what you want..partially because fucking her will make your dick fall off, but also becuase she’ll never fuck you – she aims for money to maintain her lifestyle – she’s Lohan…you know…pretty A list name, even though she hasn’t worked…
So she’s being subtle and coy, showing us she’s in a bathing suit..but making sure the railing blocks out everything that matters…and that is a tragedy….because I love Lohan as she falls apart, she’s a reminder of the glory days but more importantly – her tits are glorious…
She’s probably the biggest pain in the ass to hang out with – or date – even her face in these pics looks like she’s mad and complaining..that’s why I SAY solve the issue with the only redeeming thing we can…tits…and she can’t even get that right…
She posted this pussy / bikini bottom not panty / flash on her instagram – good work girl…not that it’s actually work, I mean it’s Lohan…getting out of bed and not dying of a drug overdose is her idea of working…but it is panty flash!
Billboard Music Awards are the most bootleg and irrelevant music awards behind the America Music Awards, bother are Dick Clark Productions, because Dick Clark will never die, he will just be cloned and raised as Ryan Seacrest.
Unfortunately, I watched at least an hour of the award show, so you don’t have to, thanks to hanging out with girls who walk around their house in the skimpiest panties and crop top shirts because it is comfortable and they are all sluts who grew up on porn pretty much making the decisions on what we watch…and at 18…seeing The Weeknd and Drake on a Sunday is everything for them…I mean besides taking selfies and posting snapchats…
Who am I to get in the way of that, not that I was really watching anyway, I was more into staring at their pussy definition….
I’d like to thank TINDER and the fearless nature of 18 year olds due to the internet, and porn, for letting this happen.
That said…
I saw:
1- Celine Dion Cry becasue she’s an emotional and terrifying french Canadian…
2- Rihanna look like she’s on heavy fucking drugs and pregnant on her way to walmart…
3- Adele premiere a new video where she looked beautiful – or her prettiest because she found a way to look skinny..
4- Kesha looking like she ate Adele for dramatics…
5- Some really skinny bitch who wasn’t 11, but had the body of an 11 year old..
6- Gwen Stefani sing country since she’s been slurping on country.
7- Madonna thanking Prince for a Sinead O’Connor song….she couldn’t sing…I can’t even post the shit it was so bad…
8- A Lot of Jonas Brothers and Demi Lovato…too many people care about these people who are the worst…
9- That’s all I got…which is a lot…considering I fucking hate award shows…and I have no short term memory…and I was in a room with a young fat ass not wearing much..so I had better things going on…but in the defence of the billboard awards…shitting yourself in public from being drunk is better than the billboard awards….is better things to do…this event that isn’t eventful for an event that is marketed huge and that costs a fortune..in a world that is not that eventful…it’s all the same pop trash idiots who look the same singing songs that have already been done in a new format…turning everyone into distracted fucking robots…
10 – I missed Britney in her Underwear….
11- Lindsey Vonn Lookin’ Like one of Tiger’s Hookers…Because she was one…
12- Ciara was the host…
13- Arianna Grande is a Fucking Creep…
14 – Jessica Alba’s Mexican Skin Elasticity is Keeping her Hot as Fuck…
15- Kate Beckinsale is Everything….and I’m not even a virgin loser who watched underworld…
16- Mila Kunis is alright with a mouth she uses to make Kutcher Bust in her Face…
17 – That’s enough of this bullshit – TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE
Canada does their May long weekend a week before American Memorial Day…so as I right this…I am missing out on at least one bikini on boat party, or bikini by the pool party, or bikini at a BBQ getting drunk going on…not because I had to “work” on the site, I don’t work…that’s why I have a blog…and not because I am too busy doing other important things…and not even because I don’t leave the house and hate everyone…but because no one invited me to their bikini parties…
I am just that kind of loser…the good news is that I can sit in the park and wait for bikinis I don’t know to come to me…it’s almost as good as being around bikinis you know..because of the excitement of trying to not creep them out while being a creepy scumbag who is creeping everyone who notices you out…with your hands down your pants drooling at the sight of half naked girls…
Here are some long weekend in Canada, no where else, stepLINKS in the morning…
I went out at lunch today and ended up next to a group of girl in leggings and crop top shirts, rockin’ Victoria’s Secret bags, fake tans…they were clearly mall shoppers with too much make-up….one was even doing her nails at the table, a touch up from the manicure she got from Viet ladies at the spa…they had great asses, round ass, fat asses….it looked like they went to the gym to only work on their asses and they probably did….one had fake tits, one had no tits and the fat one…who kept talking about black guys she fucks…was dressed like she wasn’t fat…
They were basic, middle of the road, average girls…in my era they would have been GAP shoppers, rockin’ their Khakis…..but thanks to the Kardashians…and I guess Jersey Shore…the GAP turned Ed Hardy Tribal Tattoo has turned into this….
I don’t interact with humans, but when I see the things I see in pop culture trickle down to these people…so many people…I realize why the Kardashians work…everyone is too into themselves to bother pointing and laughing and hating…instead they are like “she’s popular, must be doing something right’….
This isn’t a post about the Kardashians…it is a post about humanity…how we are all doomed…but at least perverts like me can stare at their asses….and if I was younger, I’d buy bottles in clubs and fuck them all…they look porny.
So my pledge to you this weekend is to go out there and find some mall shoppers…if not to fuck but to stare at…it’s the weirdest shit ever…