DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2016

15

Feb

Hannah Ferguson’s Twerking of the Day

I think you can see her asshole…

I spent an hour doing some Sports Illustrated Coverage – because I don’t bother producing my own content that often and would rather point and laugh at the lack of creativity from my soiled poverty stricken couch…it’s the life of a loser critic….

When Sports Illustrated pops off every year, there’s hours of footage and outtakes for each of these girls they use…so for the next year random shit they do will come together and be promoted…their brand depends on it almost as much as most of the girls depend on SI promoting them to get work…

Here’s Hannah Ferguson….doing a stripper dance twerk – which is not all that far off from where she probably should be working – but thanks to SI 2014, doesn’t have to…

Shoutout to Bob for sending this in…

Posted in:Hannah Ferguson|SFW

2016

15

Feb

Bella Thorne’s Tits in a Bikini of the Day

No Comments »

Some dude was ripping into me on twitter yesterday because he finds me a pussy bitch who writes pussy bitch commentary about girls like a pussy bitch….or something equally well thought out…

He was really mad, despite claiming to not know who Bella Thorne was, that I call her 40 years old, every single time I post about her….like a bad joke I keep killing over and over again…despite how he doesn’t read the site, because I am a pussy bitch of the internet….

The reality of it, is that Bella Thorne probably isn’t 40 years old, but I keep telling the same story about her being 40 years old, because I only have so much to say about a vapid little self absorbed girl in the entertainment industry…that bros and frat boys and dads are into because they are perverts or are forced to know..because she’s the hot pussy in the shitty shows their kids make them watch…

I mean this girl posts compromising selfies on the regular..more often than actual substance…so the repeating the same story – comes hand in hand – with her repeating the same marketing tactics…and really, I am not a comedy writer, trying to be funny, but rather an angry pervert who thinks telling the same joke over and over becomes awkward and thus hilarious over time…

You just gotta let it simmer, while Bella Thorne simmers her pale skin in the sun, on vacation because life is rough for a 40 year old pretending to be an 18 year old…because pervert dudes buy into the lie…because they want to believe it’s real…

Now when someone takes that premise and makes a Judd Apatow movie – 40 year old stage mom can’t handle her daughters being hipster anti-stage kids, so she takes it upon herself to get BOTOX and make it happen

Or maybe it’ll be the next Elizabeth Smart Pitch Perfect franchise…

Either way, I won’t get credit or paid for it..

All while Bella Thorne will continue to to self promote herself aggressively, maybe even getting the part, thanks to the perverts…because the perverts will continue to buy into it….keep her going…and well…believe the lie…

Posted in:Bella Thorne

2016

15

Feb

Xenia Deli Eats Herself Out of the Day

No Comments »

Xenia Deli been around for a while, but I saw her big break while getting a lap dance at a strip club a few weeks ago, when their background video wasn’t the usual porn, but rather music videos set to the song they were playing…and Xenia Deli’s song happened to be one of Bieber’s songs….and she’s pretty much fucking him in video, which would make it safe to assume she’s fucked him in life…and when you’re some immigrant model naked after a place where meat runs rampant…in what could be your big break piggy backing on the massive pop star…you do what you gotta…

You see, she’s from a place where hotter women then her are sold and traded for less than she makes an hour, making her a bit more grateful in her life, being the different kind of prostitute, the better kind of prostitute…who does it on her own terms because she is considered a model…which to rich guys, is interchangeable..and when it looks like this, it should make you want to be a rich dude….

Posted in:SFW|Xenia Deli

2016

15

Feb

Sara Jean Underwood Has Figured Out Instagram of the Day

No Comments »

I think we should take a minute to give Sara Jean Underwood some credit – where credit is deserved….

You see, we know that instagram is a place where pretty much every girl with an instagram is using it as a platform to post sleazy pics of themselves…but we have to remember there was an evolution to this.

There was a time when only the real strippers and bar maids, before bottle service girls even existed, would use Myspace to post cheesy half naked shoots…but the average girl would debate or even be reprimanded by family for posting anything remotely sexual…

They worried about “career as politicians” or “professionals” or whatever…

While this Sara Jean Underwood – was like – I want to do Playboy, I’m hot, I’m 18, fuck school, let’s get fucking naked…

She knew the dream, the fame, the possible fortune all for getting naked was the fucking answer and didn’t worry about what anyone thought…

She went onto fuck Seacrest up the ass for a while, TV host for the nerds, but now…now she’s on instagram in what some could see as “doing what the insta whores are doing”….but for the old timers like me…she’s doing what’s always been hers to do…

Here she is some video

Posted in:Sara Jean Underwood|SFW

2016

15

Feb

Ex-Team USA Gymnast Ass with Mckayla Maroney of the Day

No Comments »

Mckayla Maroney was an American hero back in 2012 when she won at least one Olympic medal, but who as soon as that was over appeased her “stage parents” or what we call in Canada “Hockey Mom” with her version of a NHL Draft, which allowed her to focus on what I guess she was more into…being slutty on the internet..

A long time ago, there was that whole Band Camp girl on American pie, who was obviously and blown out version of these kids who are forced into a close knit circle, where they develop their perversions together, all while being socially awkward…where the cool kids aren’t staying in hotels together, which opens the door for fucking…so Gymnastics, or any sports, along with Band…is really just a great place for kids to fuck each other…and develop weird perversions…all with the help of their coaches…

So it’s possible that paved the way for being slutty on the internet, but it probably had more to do with everyone being slutty on the internet…or even more likely, loving all the attention she was getting with tweets directed at her by fucking perverts…everywhere…allowing her to find herself as a booty model..

Because I just googled her to see if she was on Team USA for 2016 in rio..and she’s not..
but her ass is on her social media…and that could be better than another Olymic medal, because it requires less work….just ask Bruce Jenner.

Posted in:McKayla Maroney|SFW

2016

15

Feb

The Day Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Died or Not of the Day

No Comments »

Who the fuck is the adviser at SI, and do they have access to Instagram?

Do they have any idea who their target market is, or are they more into appeasing the outspoken haters who don’t read their magazines, but rather just complain about the fact that they objectify women.

Is this the skin issue that was a special feature for their subscribers to jerk off to in an era when porn wasn’t available, an issue that made stars out of girls or are they just bottom feeding and struggling to find their little niche in this media landscape.

I don’t know who they are speaking to, but they aren’t speaking to the bros and frat boys who read their shit…and really neither am I, but the frat boys like to call me a whiney little bitch thanks to their inability to read.

I am just watching the human condition unfold, and I will say that risk taking has been lost….there was a time when the previous editor of the Swim supplement would think taking a risk was showing a nipple in a Sports Magazine as to bot seem obscene like their porn competitors….

But now – it’s putting a fat chick on the cover…because the reality is, a magazine doesn’t even need a cover, it’s all online anyway, so they could put anyone on the cover..

I am juste surprised that since this is clearly their strategy, why they didn’t put Bruce Jenner, an athlete on the cover, instead of a pig like Ashley Graham, who’s idea of fitness is eating as many donuts as she fucking can…

Yes they put Ronda UFC on the cover too, good an Athlete, makes sense…even if she’s got a dick…but a fat chick…who is everything but Sports Illustrated ever was…unless their readership is all black dudes, but I think they prefer their fat white chicks to be blonde…

I guess we should celebrate them for not being obvious in their THIRST by putting a Hadid or a Kardashian on the cover, unless of course it was Bruce, since that’d be jokes…WHY ISN’T BRUCE JENNER THE SI COVER GIRL?!

We should also encourage the people at the company to consider hiring a new editor, let this editor work at Cosmo. Keeping things status quo when competing with Instagram photos that are better than these photos, because instagram has proven how simple this “art” is…

I guess no one really knows what to do with themselves or how to handle themselves in this happy world filled with angry social justice warriors…but I am pretty confident that this isn’t the best approach and that they are just digging and digging that SI Grave they’ve started to dug…Just FIRE the fucking bitch running it and hire someone with some vision… Enough with the fat chicks to be progressive for the feminist protesters….when you should want the fucking protesters…

Oh, I get what they are doing, they want to shut up the haters and feature the whores in peace….SO enough of the rant, because the good news is that they still had some hot bikini pics…there is something pure and amazing in bikini pics of bikini models…like old times…classic…even if semi irrelevant they are still worth looking at…

They put the fat chick on the cover so that they could get away with all this AMAZING on the inside….Seriously…some of these pics are good…and distract from the 3-5 pics of the fatty, and produced 1000s of the babes, models and sugar babies…

It’s the “I have a black friend” excuse for a racist….CLEVER JOB SI….I guess you’re not dead yet..but speaking of BLACK friends…you forgot to feature enough dark skinned girls…SI SO WHITE AND FAKE SPRAY TANNED ….#SIsoWHITE haters will find things to hate….but they feature fat girls on the cover because no one gives a fuck about a cover to produce softcore porn with esorts…WORKS FOR ME….

TO SEE THE WHOLE FEATURE VISIT SI SWIM

Gigi Hadid Because her Dad’s an Advertiser…and she looks amazing…

Kelly Rohrbach Straight from Leo’s Not So Straight Dick

Irina Shayk….is Everything

Hailey Clauson Who Sues Photographers for Posing Slutty.

Bo Krsmanovic is Everything: She is the Future

Nina Agdal – This is Her Only Job

Hannah Davis….for Derek Jeter..

TO SEE THE WHOLE FEATURE VISIT SI SWIM

Barbara Palvin:

Emily DiDonato

Caroline Wozniacki:

TO SEE THE WHOLE FEATURE VISIT SI SWIM

Ronda Rousey Tucked the Dick In

Here’s her behind the scenes – from some pretty offensive angles…

Lindsey Vonn To Piss off TIGER…

Chanel Iman

Hannah Ferguson

Samantha Hoopes

TO SEE THE WHOLE FEATURE VISIT SI SWIM

Kate Bock

Tanya Mityushina – Never Heard of Her…but amazing…

Erin Heatherton

Rose Bertram – My God…’

Lily Aldridge Straght from VS

Sofia Resing

TO SEE THE WHOLE FEATURE VISIT SI SWIM
TO JOIN THE DISCUSSION – CHECK THE STEPFORUM

Posted in:SFW|SISwim

2016

15

Feb

The Worst Guy at the Bus Stop and Other Videos of the Day

No Comments »

Just a Hooker in a Tree…

Naked Man – Proving his Love to his Girl

Dude Getting beat Up Gets Bit By His Own Dog…

Dude Forced to Walk Home Naked

Dont Fuck with the Train

Truck Drives into a Home…

Woman Hits Armed Rober with a Calculator

Weird Truck Accident

Nightclubbers Mow Down People

Man VS Dentist

More Shit on the Train

Thai Ship Accident…

300 Lamb Skewers

Drunk Dude of the Day

Posted in:stepNEWS|Videos

2016

15

Feb

Morning Hangover Dump of the Day

No Comments »

Diary of a Facebook Prisoner: Jesus Martinez

Day 1 in Facebook Jail:

I should have been blocked on FB years ago, the fact that I haven’t been deleted off any social media platforms for the las 8 years, I mean other than Instagram, means I’ve gone soft. It’s not me. It feels like I’ve been pandering to the PC world, instead of being controversial and aggressive…like I was when I still cared.

FB jail is reminding me of who I was and what I lost before Mark Zuckerberg brainwashed the world giving them the lowest common distraction – stalking each other…

I hate social media, and people, I belong in jail…

Here are some Romantic Morning Links….day after Valentines…day after a lot of disapointment…

Star Wars Episode VIII Teaser
CLICK HERE

The Game Posted His Boner He Used on Christina Milian to Make Babies Because He’s Rich and Black and Why the Fuck Not..LOL
CLICK HERE

Tiny Goat – Yoga Partner
CLICK HERE

Still Digging Gwyneth Paltrow’s Booty
CLICK HERE

Beyonce and Mariah Carey Pic for the Win
CLICK HERE

2016 Dunk Contest
CLICK HERE

Some Whore’s Nipples
CLICK HERE

All The Important People int he World…at the Adele Concert
CLICK HERE

Dentist Hit Him Hard with Drugs
CLICK HERE

Hick Sluts
CLICK HERE

EmRata’s Face is Fucked – But Tits are Good
CLICK HERE

Owen Wilson and Luke Wilson are the Same
CLICK HERE

Jessica Alba in a Gold Dress
CLICK HERE

Diver Cuts Stuck Rope Off Whale Shark
CLICK HERE

Fox Doesn’t Understand the White Blanket Isn’t Snow
CLICK HERE

No Doubt Replaced Gwen Stefani with The Lead Singer of AFI
CLICK HERE

A Bunch of Asians for the Racists
CLICK HERE

Posted in:stepLINKS

2016

14

Feb

Mike Myers is a Little Bitch and Caused my FB Ban of the Day

No Comments »

So this little bitch is named Mike Myers, probably not his real name, but who really needs a name when you’re a a little bitch…was polluting my FB page about THIS PEYTON MANNING STORY saying shoving your asshole in an employees face is “frat boy” and not sexual assault. Idiot. Frat Boy and Sexual Assault are SYNONYMS in the Thesaurus.

Either way, she reported this comment I wrote directed at him on facebook….which was amazing..because I am so funny.

He blocked me, obviously that’s what little bitches do, and now I am blocked on FB for 30 days. No comments, no posts, no FB chat, no sexting, no nude pics, no good times..having my privacy raped by an evil man named Mark Zuckerberg who makes billions off my information thanks to his autism figuring out a way to manipulate simple minded humans giving them a tool to do what they do…for 30 days….30 fucking days…

What happened to freedom of speech, freedom of the press and telling a little bitch that you want 7 black trannies to rape him…if you can’t say that on FB or anywhere, there is the justice, our freedom has been attacked and we have to ask is this life really worth living…

So let him know how he’s a little bitch – CLICK HERE
So let him know how he’s a little bitch – CLICK HERE
So let him know how he’s a little bitch – CLICK HERE

This his FB CLICK HERE

These are the idiotic comments mine was in response to – it was going on for a solid 30 minutes and the asshole wouldn’t shut up with his bullshit.

Posted in:Housekeeping

2016

12

Feb

stepLINKS of the Day

No Comments »

It’s Valentines Day this weekend and you need to keep in mind that with all the love and romance – that is fabricated by unhappy people…to think they are happy – even though they will just end up disappointment…and remain unhappy…that’s what lying to yourself does to you…it can only hold up for so long…

There is a spillover effect of the girls who think that is what they want, they think they want romance, a partner, someone to build a life with, because they are tired of the whore life…or the single life…or the failed relationship life…

And those are the girls you should try to have sex with….target and the chances will be higher than normal…Just tell them you want forever love, a longterm relationship, someone to build a life with, and be romantic as fuck tonight and tomorrow, and you will be fucking by Sunday night…

I believe…in the stepLINKS

Diving Volleyball Playr Smile
CLICK HERE

Alison Brie Talks About Pissing EHrself
CLICK HERE

Bruce Jenner is one Ugly Bitch
CLICK HERE

Things that Bounce – Like Jiggly Tits
CLICK HERE

Kanye’s YEEZY Premerie Featuring All the Slots in his Life
CLICK HERE

Kanye’s Message to Ray J is So Dumb
CLICK HERE

Tom Cruise and His New Face
CLICK HERE

Kendall Jenner Bending
CLICK HERE

Nicki Minaj Cameltoe
CLICK HERE

Kanye Explains the Taylor Swift Sex Debate…
CLICK HERE

Adriana Lima in Red
CLICK HERE

Famewhore Body Painted for Valentine’s Day
CLICK HERE

Pregnany Miranda Kerr
CLICK HERE

Guy Throwing Eggs at his Mom
CLICK HERE

Gwen Stefani Panders to Middle America and The Voice Audience with a Song She Wrote for Blake Shelton
CLICK HERE

The Trailer for Mother’s Day is Terrifying
CLICK HERE

Alex Skarsgaard Posing…
CLICK HERE

Lego Paper Airplane Machine
CLICK HERE

Gwyneth Paltrow has a Great Ass from that ANgle
CLICK HERE

Ted Cruz Cast a Porn Star for his Ad
CLICK HERE

Christina Milian Hard Nipples
CLICK HERE

A Bunch of Selfies
CLICK HERE

British Reality Show Trash Nipples
CLICK HERE

Barry Manilow May Die
CLICK HERE

Kendall Jenner and Hailey Baldwin
CLICK HERE

Liam Neeson Hanging Out with that Pig Amy Schumer
CLICK HERE

Face Swap With Strangers
CLICK HERE

Gaia Weiss Naked in VIKINGS
CLICK HERE

Hilary Duff in a Bikini
CLICK HERE

Candice Swanepoel VS Em Rat Cow
CLICK HERE

Why Do People Care ABout what Emrata Says
CLICK HERE

Finish Line Video of the Day
CLICK HERE

Some Whore Named Emily Blunt
CLICK HERE

Bieber Makes a No Name a Model…
CLICK HERE

YOGA PANTS PORN
CLICK HERE

Bill Murray Doesn’t Like His Picture Taken…
CLICK HERE

===============
From stepSMUT!! LINKS BELOW ARE VERY NSFW!
================

Milk Enema Fail is More of a Win
CLICK HERE

Mom and Daughter Webcam Stars
CLICK HERE

Amity Adams – Big Tits Masturbating
CLICK HERE

Stop Sauna Time
CLICK HERE

Amateur Sex
CLICK HERE

Cowboy Bull Bowling is So Dumb
CLICK HERE

Naked as Fuck Sluts in Naked Selfies – Naked Selfies of Sluts…
CLICK HERE

Beer Drinking Goat
CLICK HERE

Tori Black – Spread Pussy
CLICK HERE

Amateur of the DAy
CLICK HERE

Some Girls in the Bath
CLICK HERE

Girl Gets Punched in the Face
CLICK HERE

Some Naked Bitch of the Day
CLICK HERE

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

FOLLOW ME INTO THE DARKNESS ON SOCIAL MEDIA:

INSTAGRAM | FACEBOOK | TWITTER | TUMBLR | SNAPCHAT

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Posted in:stepLINKS