Playboy Magazine pulled the nudity to be more Christian and ad friendly, thinking it may shift the brand back to being a premium luxury market men’s magazine, maybe even a content producer that makes webseries, documentaries featuring alternative news stories and features on people of “interest’…you know since that’s what is making money online with BuzzFeed and Vice.

The issue with pulling the nudity in a print magazine, is why the fuck else would anyone want to buy a print magazine, other than to take it to the bathroom and jerk off to, and even if they were trying to make it a high produced photo book, no dude’s going to buy a magazine with a spread of some random girl they want to see naked, unless she’s fucking naked…

No matter who the guy is, they aren’t going to want to see some Vogue type photoshoot of some model they don’t actually care about…

So here are 5 reasons not to buy Playboy’s new magazine, that I am hoping is a total bust and that they go back to nudity like in print, not that I ever bought the magazine, but I just like seeing people, even billion dollar companies fail after stupidity, and spinning it as a PR stunt…

5- Print is dead, even if they did nudity, you’d be able to find all the pics on forums and websites on the internet, so you don’t need to kill trees to read articles about shit you don’t care about…

4- Playboy destroyed their brand using gutter strippers in local markets as their cybergirls, and using gutter strippers Hef wanted to fuck despite looking like clowns for over 15 years…just garbage content…that you didn’t need the last 15 years and won’t need now.

3- Playboy removing nudity from their print magazine, like their website is a business decision for advertisers, and anyone who compromises content people want to see for ad dollars is a whore who must be killed and left in a ditch after washing her off with bleach

2- Playboy was more progressive in the conservative, nuclear family, baby boomer, advent of television, 1950s, and slowly went into trashy 90s / 2000s porn influence, but that doesn’t mean you go in a total opposite direction, rather you gotta go back to your fucking roots…which is nudity…..Playboy paved the way for porn and edginess and fought for nudity in magazines when it was considered obscene, they paid girls lots of money to get naked and are the reason girls get naked for free…making their opportunity to do great nude content golden…just offer girls 100 dollars and boom…amazingness…instead they are going GQ?…ridiculous..

1- Their first Centerfold is Dree Hemingway and she isn’t interesting, she’s been naked for fashion before, so why would you want to see her in some bullshit photoshoot by a bullshit photographer, that will look like everything already on instagram, especially when you’ve seen her tits…

Hef is dead, Playboy is dead…and the joke in ALL of this is that it is owned by Pornhub….who are using it to go mainstream…

Posted in:Playboy|SFW