DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2016

22

Feb

Kate Hudson Old Lady Nipples of the Day

I Will never understand the appeal with Goldie Hawn’s daughter, especially since she’s become famous, because I remember reading an Architectural Digest in the 90s, because I was sophisticated back then and she was 18 and not famous yet, you know just in the early stages of riding her mom’s coattails to have a career and perpetuate the life her mom sucked so many dicks for….and I thought she was hot…I admit an 18 year old Kate Hudson in an era where we didn’t know better was hot…

But then she got pregnant and banged out everyone in LA, leading to some people like Owen Wilson attempting suicide…all while maintaining the same role in different movies…boring as fuck…even when her braless nipples on her flat mom chest are hard…but that’s probably because she’s old news..

But like Grandma always said…they are still hard nipples.

Posted in:Kate Hudson

2016

22

Feb

Taylor Swift’s Cameltoe of the DAy

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Pregnant Taylor Swift has a rocking cameltoe – which isn’t rocking in a good way, but more rocking in a Taylor Swift kid of rocking way…

Taylor swift is wearing tight and inappropriate pants – probably pantyless but you never know when you factor in the power of her pussy, not just because it is rich, but because the thing can eat it’s way through anything like that old knife infomercial – she cuts through concrete….so fabric isn’t a challenge for it at all…

I know I’ve said it before and it has been appropriated by all the copycats who steal obvious played out jokes…that her pussy is hungry because it is eating these pants, probably because it’s not full of dick the way it likes to be…Emptional eating but vaginal…

You know all her love songs aren’t about one guy that broke her but rather dick as a concept, so many dick, that involves as many dicks as possible …

Rumor is she’s 2-3 months pregnant…can anyone confirm or deny?

Here are some of her lyrics that were written about dick:

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Posted in:SFW|Taylor Swift

2016

22

Feb

Jennifer Lawrence Should Wear Pants of the Day

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Jennifer Lawrence is the worst but at least she’s lightened up since the world has seen her asshole in her nude selfies she released in her attempt to come across more interesting than the shell of a personality she has….I guess she’s taking her comedy with fat Amy the use whoever she can to get ahead and the brown guy Aziz she puts inside her even though he’s a pussy and may infact be a lesbian – those Indian bitches are hairy – but you know thick leg and ass cheek with a perv coat happened, it just probably shouldn’t. call me crazy but I like my highest paid celebs to have class and not look like a dumpy college girl rocking her freshman 15-25. This is just a bit too casual Hollywood, what happened to celebs never leaving their compounds on the film studio lot – go back to that since these too much room for me to hate her ass..partially because even I get better ass than this…but becasue I like celebrities who get paid top dollar – to look top dollar.

Sort it out Hollywood. You’re lazy with the no thigh gaps, but an ego that allows you to do whatever you want because “Do You Know Who I am”….I like the sex bruises….they are a nice touch…but still better in pants, even though perverts like us will like anything, and I guess in her defence, nothing she does will be as good as her nudes…no academy award can compare to nude tits intended for dudes to jerk off to her…

Posted in:Jennifer Lawrence|SFW

2016

22

Feb

Charli XCX Wants You TO Notice Her of the Day

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Charli XCX wants you to notice her…which isn’t saying much since we live in this self involved world where everyone wants you to notice them. Everyone thinks they are famous and everyone acts entitled, but I guess Charli XCX is more higher level than they are because she has an album or was a guest on some song she worked her way into after signing with a label that will own 98 percent of her earnings if she ever wins, you know another one of these superstars who only makes 500k a year even if she sells 100 million, which can almost guarantee she doesn’t but I assume thinks will if she keeps on showing off the tits…

I don’t care for her, I’ve seen her at an even once and she was som chubby little midget thing, not for me, but maybe for you….probably for you…based on the her having a hole thing…

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TO SEE THE REST OF THE GRAN PANTIES CLICK HERE

Posted in:Charli XCX|SFW

2016

22

Feb

Ashley Benson Face of the Day

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I don’t know if this is Ashley Benson or Amanda Bynes…but I’ve already gone over this Ashley Benson Character and her new found face, so I don’t need to repeat myself, even though I always fucking repeat myself, something that people get mad at me about, but the truth is, the people in the pictures aren’t doing anything different in the pictures they were in last week, and my confusion as to why they are famous and where they came from, or that a shitty show they are on could make them so fucking famous, or that girl who is this famous has been historically 15 pounds too heavy, in an era where that’s marketable, but still lazy….and now her face…her face is aging in some weird fucking way…that could be surgery, or just genetics…because what is good at 18 often times is not good at 25….and by 40 is less womanly than Bruce Jenner…hormones and aging…it happens…

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Posted in:Ashley Benson|SFW

2016

22

Feb

Kaley Cuoco’s Implants – A Retrospective of the Day

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I was going to call this Kaley Cuoco a love story….because it’s not really a retrospective since it was just one event for her fake tits, you know one outing….and it is more of a love story because she’s with Stan Lee, the nerd leader for her nerd fans….

Which makes the implants way more fun especially since she is recently divorced and you can now have her all you want (lol) and she has signed that 100 million dollar contract that will add to her already stupid amount of fucking money, because they pay her a stupid amount of fucking money, because she’s on the biggest show ever playing the hot girl to the nerds – and she’s not even hot….

I think she’s better now that she’s got fake tits…and has been getting fit after cheating on her husband but still…she’s nothing great…just don’t tell the nerds, because to them, she’s a beacon of hope as television is their religion and guiding light….and she’s with your god…Stan Lee

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Posted in:Kaley Cuoco|SFW

2016

22

Feb

Rooney Mara and Cate Blanchett Sex of the Day

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There is some lesbian movie called Carol, where Rooney Mara and Cate Blanchett fuck. I like to call movies like this “the play for an Oscar”…because all things lesbian or gender fluid or tranny is very in. It’s the modern “retard” roll….I guess….only all girls are Lesbians, so it makes for great content, even though lesbians are the fucking worst always angry, never cool, and obsessed with dick…even the other day, a Lesbian was working a lesbian coffee shop I accidentally walked into and the lesbian drew a dick on the JAVA ART with the foam, making a comment like “I drew a dick, look it’s a dick”….in an “Oh my god I need dick” kind of way….Lesbians..

Either way here are some of the screenshots of the old granny on younger probably not as lesbian, or I guess it could work both ways, you lesbian recruits old lonely lady, or old lesbian manipulates young girl into lesbian sex, either way – lesbian sex.

Posted in:Cate Blanchett|Rooney Mara

2016

22

Feb

Lily Donaldson’s Upskirt of the Day

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Lily Donaldson is a British model who is pushing 30.. or who is 30 and you’ve probably heard her name, she’s one of the Victoria’s Secret contract workers in their model sweatshop that they pushed under the rug and forgot about in 2012…you know for some excuse that probably involves not fucking enough of their investors or some shit…but I doubt that’s the case, maybe she’s just boring.

You know not every girl they find can be a hit…

I guess that rejection, coupled with all the money she has and how rich and successful her boyfriend probably is, as these girls all end up with rich guys doesn’t buy her that contract back, but it buys everything else, and frees up her schedule to flash panties and show off her model legs…because she’s still a fucking model motherfuckers, Victoria’s Secret is some mall brand gutter shit…while this here is what modeling is about….legs..

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Posted in:Lily Donaldson

2016

22

Feb

Katherine Heigl in Bed Romance of the Day

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Katherine Heigl is as doughy, boring, played out as any almost 40 year old mom…rocking that mom body…even though she didn’t have a kid herself, but rather adopted one from Korea and the USA, because Katherine Heigl has had a doughy, boring, played out mom body since she was in her mid 20s.

I never understood why anyone was interested in her, or thought she was anything magical, but I guess she’s rich and was on TV and at least one movie, so that increases her stock value. It’s like “why’s that dude with a doughy mom body with two adopted babies thanks to her being infertile”….”oh she’s from Grey’s Anatomy and 40 year old Virgin and like all doughy mom bodies, has big tits”…..”Makes sense”.

You liked that conversation with myself about weird in bed, romance, selfies of people no one cares about but who are more important than you thanks to network television…

I have never been into this one, and seeing married middle aged people in love in bed, living their life of luxury, doesn’t really change that – but she’s got fans, Americans fucking love her.

All this to say, what the fuck is this cheesy shit…garbage.

Posted in:Katherine Heigl|SFW

2016

22

Feb

Hilary Duff’s Jean Shorts of the Day

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Recently divorced Hilary Duff has taken on a new hobby of seeing just how strong her jean shorts are before they fucking explode under her cross-fit looking thighs, the kind that can crush watermelons, as easily as they can handle a whole hockey team ramming the fuck into her after the game – to build morale, something that likely won’t happen anymore with the whole divorce thing, but at least he was nice enough to knock the bitch up, pushing her sex ten steps back in sex appeal, that’s why bitches normally do this in their mid 30s. Not their early 20s…you know throw in the towel when it is time to throw in the fucking towel…

The good news for her is her fans are pretty fucking relentless. They aren’t going anywhere, bring the thick legs, bitch could be GILBERT GRAPE MOM level of thick, an they’d sign up to feed her and wipe her ass….and I guess that’s what real sex appeal is..

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Posted in:Hilary Duff|SFW