DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

Sabrina Carpenter’s Shapewear Lets Her Down of the Day

Jay-Z’s Rihanna Gets Her Ass Rubbed Down of the Day

Diddy’s Girlfriend J.Lo Showing Thigh on TV of the Day

Iggy Azalea Titty of the Day

Chanelle Hayes Bikini tits of the Day

2016

Feb

Chloe Grace Moretz in a Bikini of the Day

No Comments »

Chloe Grace Moretz is in Monkey Stance for the Year of the Monkey…she’s relevant like that…

I went to see Hai Caesar at an actual theatre this weekend, despite fearing public places for shootings and diseases from other people, I figured it was a good place to finger a 20 year old, not to mention to reconnect with humans to see what they find funny, entertaining and laugh at…

Because as a bitter, angry, miserable hater, everything I see that is popular makes me mad, and I think “how was that written”…or “How could this joke fly”…or “how did the writers allow this to happen”….

Before remembering – that I have no audience, so clearly, I have no idea what I’m talking about..

Anyway, I saw a trailer featuring this pudgy little 18 year old, probably shot when she was 17, in a bikini…as a Sorority sister who has decided that their Sorority needs Women Pride and throw parties despite it being a Frat thing…all while living next door to the worst fucking person in the world…with his throaty nasal laugh – Seth Rogan….and the people in the audience were roaring hysterical to the bad fucking low level vine style jokes…

Point being….when I see Chloe Grace…all I see is that fucking trailer replaying in my head reminding me of the caliber of actor she is on the cash grab…while seeing how overrated her sex appeal is…making me hate her.

Posted in:Chloe Grace Moretz|SFW

2016

Feb

Who Won for Best The Paparazzi Shoot of the Day

No Comments »

Here’s a new feature I call posting a few pictures of idiots I don’t care about, even though I did love Heather Graham’s tits and pussy hair in Boogie Nights because I love big natural tits and pussy hair, something that I am glad the younger, lazy, feminist girls are into showing me, because it makes my sexting on Tinder far more rewarding in a world where I’ve spent the last 10 years dealing with baby bald pussy – thanks to Bros and Kardashians enforce it…when I just want bigger, thicker, pillow in a panty bush…I actually got in a fight with a feminist about her bush just the other day, she ended up blocking me, because I guess she felt like I was mocking her with my excitement of her hairiness, even though I was excited by her hairiness…

I digress…this feature will be a one off, and it’s an interactive, leave a comment, but you won’t since NO ONE Is out there…

What do you like better Heather Graham Old and in a Tight Purple Outfit Jogging on set…or Karina Smirnoff, not quite as good as the low quality Vodka, but some Dancing With the Stars chick…legitimately doing the cheesiest car wash ever, even though she’s rich and probably doesn’t even take her own tampons out of her vile dancing pussy….yet all of a sudden the girl with three full time cleaning ladies is washing a fucking car in short shorts…

To see the Rest of the Pics CLICK HERE

OR:

Karina Smirnoff Washing Cars

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Verdict – they are both winners….because they aren’t street hookers

Posted in:Heather Graham|Karina Smirnoff

2016

Feb

Kristen Stewart’s Hottest Picture of the Day

No Comments »

Kristen Stewart is the face of Chanel, because she’s famous as fuck actress thanks to Twilight. I guess that’s an audience I guess the brand is trying to reach, why the fuck else would they book Kristen Stewart for this….there’s nothing fashionable or glamourous or even hot about her….and outside of her movies, and really inside her movies also, she’s a homely lesbian hipster who doesn’t look like she showers or wears make-up…but does look like she smells and that she’s walking around looking medicated as fuck, unexcitable maybe even dopey like some kind of inbred with ceiling eyes playing with rocks in the corner of the playground…but she’s not inbred…her parents are Hollywood producers / directors / etc…which explains her career.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that this is the best picture I’ve ever seen of her…There’s something Romantic about this picture…I call it…blocking out most of her dumb looking face…

In other famous girls because they were cast at a young age is terribly successful teen fiction – Emma Watson the Harry Potter famous 14 year old the weirdest people in the world collectively fantastized about marrying while masturbating to her…was at some event in a white dress showing cleavage, something I’d dedicate a post to because that’s what I do here, I dedicate fucking posts to these idiots, they just don’t realize it because my dedications are usually perverted and mean spirited…which they deserve for being famous in the first pace….

TO SEE PICS OF HER AT SOME EVENT IN A DRESS WITH CLEAVAGE
CLICK HERE

Posted in:Kristen Stewart|SFW

2016

Feb

AnnaLynne McCord Nipple of the Day

No Comments »

Some like to think that AnnaLynne McCord is low on the totem pole of relevance…in the “hollywood” industry….but the fact is that she’s not even on the Totem pole, hell she’s not even part of the tribe that built the fucking Totem pole, she’s more the kind of girl who rolls through and tries to sit in the face of the totem pole, you know see how deep she can get it to got…

She was on one show, once, that was a redux of a 90s show, in an era where people don’t know how to produce original content but rather relive old successes….without realizing those old successes only worked because it was pre-internet and network TV controlled what we watched….and don’t work now…because we have options…

Either way, she got paid enough to still be around – and in being around – she’s figuring out and navigating how to get talked about – as her management and agents aren’t going to bat for her, they’ve got other things going on….

Seriously, the actors 90210 the Next Generation – hoping it’d work like Drake’s Degrassi up in Canada….have all gone onto nothing more than low level fame whoring and what better way to do that than by showing nipple at an event.

TO SEE MORE PICS OF THIS OLD HAG AND OTHER HAGS AT THE SUPERBOWL CLICK HERE

Posted in:Annalynne McCord

2016

Feb

Carmen Electra is Working It of the Day

No Comments »

Carmen Electra doesn’t realize that there comes in time in every farmer’s life where he has to take his old cow, or sow, or mare out back and put a bullet through her fucking head because she is no longer of use to him as she’s not producing and just wasting resources…and even if he still loves the beast so much he fucks it when no one is looking, even though it is half dead…it still needs to get done….

There are younger and hotter versions of her to pick-up her job where she left off…

She doesn’t understand, despite fucking countless athletes, that there is a time in their lives when they need to bow out of the game like he’s Peyton Manning and say – I peaked, it’s time I go enjoy my money and remember my Glory days as a star player, through the injuries I have and pain I feel while either opening up a car dealership by home, or working in the Football industry more behind the scenes….

She doesn’t understand, despite having fucked countless musicians, that even they have to stop the heroin that fuels them becausethey dont’ want to “David Bowie”….because they are old and their bodies can’t keep up…

She just keeps going and going well into her 40s…while no one still knows or understands what she ever did other than Playboy when Playboy could launch career for these glorified instagram models…

That said, she’s got a great body and who really cares what she does, I can ride this notalgia – I’d just want to wear a full body condom

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Carmen Electra|SFW

2016

Feb

Kendall’s Ass of the Day

No Comments »

Kendall Jenner is double dipping in Love Magazine, maybe she’s like an Athlete who gets extra money from his Sponsors when he gets published in magazines or featured on TV shows, like he’s won some kind of award or some shit….because she’s giving Love Magazine, who I guess has some level of cool factor to a person like Kendall Jenner who has no concept of cool has…

These rich kids are so detached from reality…in their weird insular bullshit overrated lives filled with cheesy people who suck up to them and want to be famous like them….it’s weird..

Maybe the family is just on Love Magazine’s payroll, since they did some massively viral – possibly the “break the internet” fully nude Kim Kadashian photoshoot…that the public seems to forget they can see her at her prime naked getting fucked by a big black cock…because her getting naked – is hardly breaking anything except maybe the chair she is sitting on or anything her naked disgusting body touches…

Point being, she’s wearing her sponsor Calvin in the magazine, showing her non existent ass, because she’s uneventful, not that hot, but exists and people seem to like talking about her…despite being garbage…myself included…and I hate myself for that and more – stay tuned to find out…

Not too far behind Kendall is her friend and possible employee GIGI

TO SEE THOSE KIM K IN LOVE NAKED AS FUCK CLICK HERE

Posted in:Kendall Jenner|SFW

2016

Feb

NAACP Highlight of the Day

No Comments »

Her name is Jurnee Smollett-Bell…and she’s a half black / half Jewish, full amazing 29 year old who is probably not best known from being on Full House in the early 90s as one of the Olsen Twins accessible / white enough / black friends…you know since that’s how the media is when it comes to black people..as long as they are white enough to the white people, not necessarily in color but in the way they carry themselves and speak…or if they are on the Halle Berry / Drake and now Jurnee Smollett-Bell half black is black enough to get the storyline across…

But she’s got great tits…so Oscars shouldn’t be so white…they should be more about these tits..

That said, since Full House she’s done a bunch of shows and movies, none of them that substantial because I’ve never heard of her…but now she’s in some Louisina Slave show where she plays a “shy house slave, working on a plantation in 1857″….

All this to say BlackLivesMatter, Support your local black person and the NAACP, because OscarSoWhite and not representative of the country, except for the host who is black, even though No Lives Matter, even if the black is also Russian Jew, as long as the tits are pushed out like this….

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Jurnee Smollett-Bell|SFW

2016

Feb

People Magazine is More interesting in Australia of the Day

No Comments »

Glamour Model Lucy Pinder is in People Magazine Australia, which is an interesting international trademark fail by People Magazine in the USA, but that is pretty much as smutty as People Magazine in the USA, instead of reaching the lowest common human in the trailer park at the Walmart Checkout counter, their smut is more literal..with naked girls who are essentially hookers or strippers…that maximized the UK Glamour model thing when it was a thing, before instagram and all girls getting naked, to pepper their newspapers with tits inspiring people to buy the papers, because tits get hits…or some shit…

Her name is Lucy Pinder, she was some kind of big deal in titty modeling a decade ago, and I guess she’s up to her old tricks because it’s all she knows…

Posted in:Lucy Pinder

2016

Feb

Bai Ling’s Year of the Monkey Campaign is Racist of the Day

No Comments »

It’s the year of the Monkey…and Bottom Feeding Chinese woman named Bai Ling, who has been working the paparazzi to get published in the tabloids as her main focus while living in LA, stepped in to take advantage of a photoshoot opportunity…

It’s like these people from the late 90s moved to LA to get famous and it never happened for them…but their level of crazy and delusions allowed them to continue to go where the paparazzi were to get their pics taken…rather than doing something interesting…but they’ve figured out that if they get naked, or if they do something for an obscure day or event, they’ll get published and that’s all they really care about…

It is one of the weirdest phenomenons but not too far off from the instagram models of today….just way less stylized and cool, and striaght up fucking cheesy….

But still a Monkey stuffed animal bikini…next to the Beverly Hills sign is genius art in it’s own desperate way…