DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2016

08

Jan

Victoria’s Secret Swim Catalog of the Day

Victoria’s Secret does bikinis…and I’ve heard they are planning a summer season infomercial / fashion show…like their december lingerie one…to increase bikini sales…for the morons that are all of us…who pay attention to their brand like it is anything more than a sweatshop running, taking jobs away from Americans, ripping off Americans, with product they don’t even design but just repackage from asia, while overpaying these sluts, giving them egos as they make other girls feel inadequate about themselves because they aren’t VS models, forcing them to try harder all for nonsense…

Well, this is their catalog…featuring old lady Elsa Hosk, Lais Ribeiro, Taylor Hill, Sara Sampaio and Josephine Skriver and at least the styling, or creative direction is more interesting that it used to be…

Finally looking at the instagram models and saying “oh, we can do this fake artist shit too, people love it”…

And here it is…

Posted in:SFW|Victoria's Secret

2016

08

Jan

Olympic Javelin Thrower Leryn Franco in a Bikini of the Day

No Comments »

AS someone who has been jerking off to random bikini pics of random girls, mainly girls on social media, in bikini pics since before the internet had social media, and was something we called FORUMS or CHAT ROOMS, I can say with confidence that I don’t need or want accomplishments with my bikini pics.

I mean, I don’t really even need bikini pics, because I’m so desensitized to hot girls that I can’t even get hard at a strip club getting a lab dance because I’m like “so this is it”….

But what I’m saying is that I don’t need a girl to have any credits, or accomplishments, she doesn’t need a college degree, a big instagram following…she doesn’t need to be single, or famous, on TV or otherwise, she doesn’t need to know how to sing or fuck…just the bikini is enough…

So this bikini ass on an Olympic Javelin thrower…could be a bikini ass on anyone, with no need to focus on her Javelin throwing career, or track and field body…because I’d rather just stare at the “athlete”…probably one of the more obscure athlete asses….

I’ve heard “let’s watch women’s Olympic beach volleyball”…but never “javelin”…and I guess this is good marketing for the sport…

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Leryn Franco|SFW

2016

08

Jan

Rhian Sudgen LIngerie Cheese of the Day

No Comments »

Life isn’t complete without a UK Glamour model from the UK, who made a name for herself as a titty model in cheesy fucking shoots in the UK media…like Page 3…posing for a lingerie company that looks about her caliber, or quality…you know the kind of fabric that gives a bitch a yeast infection and rash just putting it on….

I guess, along with getting to fuck UK Soccer players, sometimes, these tits get to do photoshoots for brands, and not just for free to get in the papers, like the famewhores they are…

Good for them….it makes their fucking rich dudes seem like like hooking….

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Rhian Sudgen

2016

08

Jan

Ava Sambora had Figured it Out of the Day

No Comments »

Ava Sambora has posted a bikini pic everyday for the last few days and people are paying attention to her…

I am sure it has nothing to do with her mom being Heather Locklear and her dad being in Bon Jovi…I am sure her success that her hot young 18 year old in a bikini body has everything to do with her hard work, her high concept selfies, and the fact that she’s cheesy lookin’ all American lookin, perfect level of stripper looking, commercial instagram model…

And who really cares, when she’s going the same thirsty concept bikini pics, because people LOVE bikini pics…and concept makes it seem less desperate…right…I mean it works on me, even if 18 is creeper level 10…it’s legal..and in this case…pretty lovely…

Posted in:Ava Sambora|SFW

2016

08

Jan

Daniela Braga Titty for Harper’s Bazaar of the Day

No Comments »

I don’t know who Daniela Braga is, but apparently she’s a Brazilian model, so there’s a 90 percent chance she’s got a dick, as all the lady like brazilians are actually men and all the women brazilians look like men…with dick clits and all..

I do know she’s in Harper’s Bazaar and people are positioning this as “controversial hair style”…because of the cornrows…in what I guess is “cultural appropriation” to the white privilege trying to find something to talk about…because cornrows are for black people only, and not for white fat kids on a cruise in the Caribbean….up on some “racist” to participate, even though for decades white people have been doing this forever, but now it’s not PC…shut the fuck up…

I also know she’s pulled out her tit. What do you know about that.

Posted in:Daniela Braga

2016

08

Jan

90s Model Comeback for Balmain of the Day

No Comments »

I was masturbating in the 90s, meaning I wasn’t born in the 90s, so I remember when these “supermodels” were the most aggressively marketed girls of the generation, they were household names, and not the only thing people were masturbating to, I mean there were the 90s Playboy chicks and the 90s Victoria’s Secret girls, and the 90s actresses and more obscure models and porn chicks…but these three – Claudia, Cindy and Naomi were the tall , fashion industry, probably the top paid, most glamourous and they were all capable of landing at least one billionaire, because that’s the kind of hooking they did…

Balmain decided to bring them all together, in some reunion tour, like the recently announced Spice Girl reunion tour, for old timers and the kids who are appropriating the 90s because it’s hip and ironic, and 50 year olds may never have looked this good, thanks to technology, but they are still 50 year olds…and that, even to a 45 year old…is repulsive, but probably not as repulsive as all the sex I’m sure they’ve had in those 50 years, mainly the early part of their career…18 year olds navigating the scene…and I guess that, along with everything else, makes these three together in a publicity stunt, still speak to that fetish…

Posted in:Cindy Crawford|Claudia Schiffer|Naomi Campbell|SFW

2016

08

Jan

Alexandra Daddario Training for Baywatch of the Day

No Comments »

Alexandra Daddario is in Baywatch the Movie…and I guess she’s training, or at least cock teasing…

I know what you’re thinking, you love anything with DAD in her name or as her name, because you’re weird…because your dad left your mom after knocking her up in a Mexican brothel for 40 dollars….

Or maybe you’re into her because she was on True Detective, or some other show, with her massive tits…that she was showing off and building a career and celebrity with…

Or maybe you have a fetish, that started in Summer camp, or at the public pool, of tits through water…

You like the way the water magnifies and distorts them, like real life scrambled porn…

I mean I don;’t know what they fuck your issues in life are, I just know that open mouth, eyes looking up, like a seal about to be thrown a bucket of fish, and by seal being thrown a bucket of fish I mean…a “take a load to the face” facial expression is what she wants you to see…

TO SEE HER NAKED IN TRUE DETECTIVE
CLICK HERE

TO SEE MORE OF HER NAKED IN TRUE DETECTIVE
CLICK HERE

Posted in:Alexandra Daddario|SFW

2016

08

Jan

Lady Gaga’s On the Cover of V Magazine of the Day

No Comments »

Lady Gaga is the face of four covers for V magazine and they all fucking suck….

I don’t really know why I am posting this, I don’t even like Lady Gaga, and I’ve grabbed her ass before she was really famous…and still don’t like Lady Gaga…she’s a fucking monster…and no matter how she packages her voice, her songwriting talent, or how eager or desperate she was to make it, and to be respected, but too insecure to let the content she produce speak for herself, instead tainting it with some clown school idiotic behavior, playing herself the fuck out, trying to rebrand herself an actress, all while having this really weird, monster-like face…all big nosed and weak chinned…

I guess this is a reminder that even if you fall off as a celebrity, you can never really fall off, because you’re so engrained in the culture, you’re good and magazines and famewhores who want some of that fame will work with you….Even Michael Jackson, after raping kids, was celebrated…so I guess being a big nose, weird face, isn’t so bad…especially when she’s a nudist / exhibition while I like tits..tits she’s not showing on these covers…

I guess what I’m saying is that compared to Michael Jackson raping kids, Lady Gaga’s not so bad.

Posted in:Lady Gaga|SFW

2016

08

Jan

Ronda Roussey’s Pussy of the Day

No Comments »

So Sports Illustrated strategically posted a pic of Ronda Roussey’s ass in a body painted bikini, to generate some buzz, intentionally for the Ronda Roussy appearance in the latest issue, in efforts to remind people the magazine still exists, in a world where instagram pics make bikini photoshoots obsolete…

Part of that campaign is tying in TMZ for the exclusive behind the scenes as support to the tease…”OMG IT IS RONDA ROUSSEY, WE COULDN’T TELL BY THE TATTOO”…and one of those body painted pics features manly tits, on a many body, with a but of a manly pussy slip…that people are pretty excited about…because you’re all a bunch of faggots…

Posted in:Ronda Roussey|SFW

2016

08

Jan

Candice Swanepoel Engaged Ass of the Day

No Comments »

I like seeing these pictures of Candice Swanepoel making out with her longtime boyfriend…who she is now engaged to, because that’s how models do these things, they get old and pregnant and are still hot, but the mom hot kind, which is really only appealing to 60 year old billionaires, tired of fucking the 20 year old models, because they just aren’t serious enough…

The reason I like seeing these pictures of her kissing up on her longtime boyfriend…is because I know people who have fucked her in the last 10 years of her “dating” him…maybe they were on a break, or maybe he was like “my girlfriend is Candice Swanepoel, I’ll let her fuck anything she wants as long as the money comes in, and if I stick with her, I’ll marry her and we’ll make good looking babies, who cares who she fucks for work, she’s a model and that’s code for hooker anywhere, and no one needs to know, we can pretend it never happened”….it’s usually the story of every wife, you know her husband fucking hookers on business trips…but the opposite, since she’s the one with the job and thus the dick…

I guess what I am saying is all relationships are lie, some of them just have better asses..and make more money than others.

Posted in:Candice Swanepoel|SFW