DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2023

07

Jul

Jenna Dewan Topless Attention Seeking of the Day

We get it Jenna Dewan you’re a bored 40 year old industry hooker that spent may days on casting couches trying to make it with your moderate dance talent that gave you enough confidence to audition for people, before landing Channing Tatum, who dumped her and likely pays her hefty child support payments so that she doesn’t have to work, even though she’s had another kid with another guy, to hedge her bets….

We get that she wants people jerking off to her, because that’s her currency, her value, her purpose….but it’s all a little desperate man…get on the dating apps, sext some bros who can bring you work, no one gives a fuck to see some kissy face titty grab stupidty…it’s dumb and if you’re not going to be a MILF FISTER, FISTING THAT MILF PUSSY, in various dance positions since she’s a professional dancer, not the stripper kind, but the kind strippers dream of being because they get to strip privately for the rich and famous leading to that good life….

Point of the story, BORING.

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Posted in:Jenna Dewan|Jenna Dewan-Tatum

2023

07

Jul

Full Back Panties Friday of the Day

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In a world of depravity, everything comes full circle when it comes to coming to fetishes….

So when one thing goes out of style and loses it’s sex appeal on the mainstream level, even though we all know there’s still a small group of us still into that thing, it’s just a matter of time before that comes back to us and our weird fetish, or nostalgia becomes in again…..

I’ve been an advocate for big, panty pillow bush for as long as I can remember, there are probably 1000s of posts on here about my love for bush, my sadness of the destruction of bush, all ready to chain myself to a tree like a protestor to save the bush, waiting outside waxing salons to END the BUSH cull….but the last few years, bush has been back….a good fucking thing for humanity…

Now, I’ve been an advocate for all panties, since it’s not the panties a girl wears but the ass that wears the panties that matter, and I’ve been never shaming of a girl who rocks some deep cut pantylines in her pants because she FULL BACKS her shit, my goal has always been to get to the panty, to remove the panty, to sniff the panty, to cum on the panty….the cut or fabric of said panty irrelevant…..so now people are starting to get off to the full-back panty, since it’s seemingly a NEW panty after they’ve blown out and over exposed all the other panty styles…

In this world of depravity, soon traditional monogamy, relationship sex, missionary with no pegging, ass eating, or other partners will become the hottest shit ever, just cumming inside to make babies like nature intended….and it may all start with the advent of the RELATIONSHIP PANTY being treated as if it is sexy……

It all comes full circle, all so that you can cum full circles…

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Posted in:Fullback Panty

2023

07

Jul

Rachel Bilson Cleavage of the Day

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Rachel Bilson’s looking so old, I actually had to google to see if she was Summer from the OC, or if I was getting my pickled alcoholic retard brain confused with someone else…..

Maybe it’s dementia, or maybe Rachel Bilson hasn’t captivated my heart in the way that she did when on the OC, which was a great show and something you had to watch if you wanted to fuck the college aged girls at the bars you were the creepy old guy at.

Summer was hot, now she’s in her 40s, and the decent sized tits are less fun than they were. She’s a mom with some Canadian from Star Wars.

Even though she got cancelled from a job for talking perverted shit about how she likes taking dick, typical 40+ conversation that bores me because it’s like “Grow Up” or “Keep it to yourself” or where was that energy when you were 20 and at your hottest on a hot show being hot…this bores me…HOWEVER…it is cleavage….and CLEAVAGE always wins..

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Posted in:Rachel Bilson

2023

07

Jul

Fishnet Friday of the Day

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I was talking to someone who told me that they used to jerk off to bagged onions, to which I asked them “why would you jerk off to bagged onions”, assuming it had to do with some traumatic experience growing up, where his chef father used to stuff onions in his ass, or some other weirdness that would develop a fetish….but as it turned out, he said that it’s because the onions are the sluttiest of the produce all in their fishnets and ready to be fucked….which would probably make you cry in more than one way since onions aren’t really the juicy fruit you’d stick your dick in if you were to fuck a fruit….it’s not like it’s a grapefruit or a watermelon….so maybe that motherfucker should think with his dick a little better.

I have never had sex with produce, I am not a produce fucker, or an inanimate object fucker, unless it’s a pocket pussy I’m doing product testing on, but I doubt that’s the same as fucking grocery store items, so when I see anything other than hot pussy wrapped in mesh, I never think of fucking it….but maybe that’s where I’ve gone wrong in life.

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Posted in:Fishnets

2023

07

Jul

Joey King Cleavage of the Day

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Joey King, child star, has big tits.

In conclusion, we like tits more than we like grown up child stars, or really any celebs for that matter.

My original tagline for the site was “A place where I get drunk and molest you”, which didn’t go over well with advertisers I was trying to sell perverted campaigns to since drunken stepfathers seem to be associated with rape shit to begin with, so I swapped that out to I’ll make you famous, bitch,….it was a catchphrase and a joke since no one reads the site and I can’t make anything famous….but I didn’t want to accept the site as a celeb blog, that’s for virgin losers and I’m no virgin, I fuck, I swear….plus I hate celebs, hollywood, the entertainment industry and have zero interest in it….making a celeb blog was a fucking joke, a curse…MY PRISON….so the third tagline was going to be “I hate celebs, but like their tits” and well, that’s true to my heart, authentic to my true self, leveling myself up to a higher frequency, with Joey King cleavage…..I don’t care about cuz it’s Joey King, I care about cuz it’s cleavage bro.

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

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Posted in:Joey King

2023

07

Jul

Bitches Love Boats of the Day

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Bitches Love Boats it’s a tale probably as old as time, and anyone with a little money knows an investment in a boat means a steady stream of bitches who love boats and who can’t afford boats or are too gutter to find dudes with more expensive boats, but still offering you bitches in boats! Let them use you for your boats, if you’re lucky they are trash who also backyard wrestle,

Posted in:Videos

2023

06

Jul

Try Hard Lawrence of the Day

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Charlotte Lawrence, who I’ve decided to name Try Hard Lawrence, is a child of celebrities, or at least industry people who have made a ton of money within the industry, so much that they were able to turn the wife / her mother into some kind of creepy fucking muppet, because rich producers have muppet fetishes, it’s obvious…

Anyway, instead of trying to do meaningful shit, she’s been flashing her tits on social media, packaging herself as a hipster, fashionista, I don’t know, but basically a fucking rich kid chasing clicks, views, etc….

As a pervert, that works for me. Keep on trying Try Hard, the world may not need her content, or another celebrity child pretending to be interesting, but we can never have too many rich kid being whores when we know they don’t have to be whores cuz they have access to a lot of money….but are doing it from the emptiness in their rich kid souls to have some level of edgy, appeal, interest, experience, vibe….whatever…BRING THE TITS…

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Posted in:charlotte lawrence

2023

06

Jul

Asshole Behind Thong Thursday of the Day

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As much as I hate on thongs, you know for being a predatory underwear that made women feel as though their old, relationship, stained from period, panties were for their granny and not for someone who wanted to be seen as having some level of sex appeal….

I fight for the rights of women, trying to take down these patriarchy and toxic masculine ideals, especially when knowing only gay dudes were like “Bro, your panties are full back, get out of here and comeback with a thong, or you’re never getting this dick”….

IT NEVER HAPPENED…..the social pressure was from other chicks judging them, saying “oh guys won’t like you in those fucking things, you’re so outdated”…shaming them into THONG THONG THONG, it even had a SONG…

But yeah, I still like looking at ass in THONG and not just for the asshole, but that is a bonus.

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Posted in:Asshole Behind Thong

2023

06

Jul

Ashley Graham Still Fat of the Day

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This just in….Ashley Graham is still fat….

This just in….fat ladies everywhere are feeling fierce in their one-pieces because they just saw fat Ashley Graham looking fat in her one-piece…

Long gone are the days of starving yourself before a beach day, or skipping breakfast and lunch before a pool party, so that the stomach looks flat…ALL THAT LAXATIVES the day before trying to clean out the bloat like a typical girl tries to clean out her colon now that they’re all into ass fucking…

So yeah, celebrating being a fat fuck because the world celebrated her being a fat fuck and she made a fucking career out of being a fat fuck and not even as a sideshow act or circus performance, just legitimate, fat fuck existing booking huge brand deals because brands wanted to look like they were into fat fucks, because making shit in fat fuck sizes allowed them to increase sales to a market of fat fucks who never used to be able to buy regular sized human clothing due to being a fat fuck.

The point of the story, her legacy in normalizing fat fuck premature death should get her arrested, like someone pushing for the normalization of opiates, or even like a girl convincing her suicidal boyfriend of killing himself, since that’s precisely what Graham Cracker Eating Monster, CHILL OUT ON THE SMORES, is doing…

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Posted in:Ashley Graham

2023

06

Jul

Titty Drop Thursday of the Day

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Titty Drops are basically a Titty Bounce added to a Titty Flash which in a world obsessed with titties, is great, meaningful, uplifting, perfect content.

You see, we don’t need educational content, since we’re all half retards, we don’t need inspiring content since we are all dead on the inside, we don’t need funny content since comedy is dead and nothing is actually funny anymore, we just need mindless titty content to feed our empty souls because staring at tits, although not very productive, is some of the best times I’ve had in my uneventful life…

I appreciate the TITTY drop machine, I wish I had a Titty Drop Machine for anytime I left the house, but this TITTY Drop machine is in the form of user generated titty drop content and I’m into it..

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Posted in:Titty Drop