DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2015

10

Jul

stepLINKS of the Day

If Midgets were like fat chicks, there would be a lot more midget models…protesting how the world it made for tall people, giving unrealistic expectations for the midget, as the midget can never amount to be someone over 5 feet tall, no matter how hard they try…

Because midgets aren’t as annoying as fat chicks…\

But the good news is fat chicks are just angry because dudes don’t treat them with respect, we just take the blowjob and run, unless we fuck up and get locked down with one…who is either disguised as a skinny chick before getting comfortable…or a pushy fat chick, as some are, because not all are the shy, broken fat chick you want them to be..

That said, go out there this weekend and get a fat chick and remember, I am an institution not institutionalized…

I am still devastated by the end of Ed Hardy, but brought hope by Kylie Jenner’s identity crisis…trans is a family thing…all smeared in Feces…not racist cuz she bangs black guys…making black face ok…

Here are some stepLINKS…

Drake’s New Video is Weird
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Alexis Renin a Bikini
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Mirror Selfies
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Sharks in an Underwater Volcano
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Ariana Grande’s Apology….
CLICK HERE

Jared from Subway Said “Middle School Girls are Hot”
CLICK HERE

Some Fame Whore in a Bikini
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The Next UFC Champion Chick
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Fame Whore Aisleyne Horgan-Wallace Ass Flash
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Jen Selter’s Ass
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Sienna Miller in a White Outfit
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The Sexiest Calvin Klein Ads of All Time
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Hot Asians
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Victoria Justice Midriff
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UFC Chicks by the Pool
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Selena Gomez in Shorts
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Slut of the Day
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Natalia Vodianova in L
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100 Years of American Men’s Fashion
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Karrueche Tran’s Ass in JEans
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Elsa Hosk Tits
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Seven Unexpected Ways to Chop an Onion
CLICK HERE

Demi Lovato Cleavage
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Elizabeth Gillies Whore Photoshoot
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Gwyneth Paltrow is Not Single
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Dog Steals Hose and Sprays Owner
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Scary Amusement Park Fail
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Rachel Hunter Pokies
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Man Mad About his Wife’s Sex Toy
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Jennifer Lawrence Comicon
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Kids Taste Kimchi
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Monica Cruz’s Bikini on Vacation
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Slutty K-Pop Looking Act of the Day
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Wet Chicks
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From stepSMUT!! LINKS BELOW ARE VERY NSFW!
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Today in Porn GIFS
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TOP TIT-TO-TIT Scenes in Movies
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Asian Girl Tortured by Sea Food
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Pammie Lee Hot Trimmed Bush
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No Pants Dance
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Crushing Video
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Slutty Elliptical Workout
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Shark Tries to Eat People
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Crazy Bitch Jumps into Croc Enclosure
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Midget of the Day
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Girl Smoking a Bong in Sheer Panties…
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Boyfriend Can’t Handle Piercing
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Girl Eats a Popsicle
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Unhappy Mail Man
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Dildo Skills
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Dildo Dildo
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More Big Tits
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Some Paz Vega
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Alicia Witt Nude Scenes
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The best, Freash, Young Amazing, Live, Naked, Girls…
CLICK HERE

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Sex Tape that Isn’t a Sex Tape But is Still a Sex Tape of the Day
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The Best Fucking Links Ever
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Posted in:stepLINKS

2015

10

Jul

Gigi Hadid’s Friend’s Big Tits and Cameltoe of the Day

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Gigi Hadid was on the beach…she wasn’t wearing a bikini….But her friend saved the day by having big tits and a cameltoe…

Good enough….

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Gigi Hadid|SFW

2015

10

Jul

The Tits from the Blurred Lines Video in a Bikini of the Day

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I would say that Emily Ratajkowski has figured out that the more bikini pics she posts to social media…the more likes she’ll get…the more relevant she’ll remain…

But as a girl who’s career is based on her getting naked in a music video, I’m pretty sure she’s realized that one…and that the last year has been her trying to figure out how to distance herself from being the naked big tits…like Kim K does with her sex tape…only with less public penetration…Emily Ratajkowski is a lady and only does that behind closed doors and her boyfriend’s back for jobs…I mean he was (rumored to be) Ben Affleck..right…that warrants a “Hall Pass”…

As you fade into obscurity…you gotta bring back what works..and it works..because she’s got a great fucking body…that you don’t deserve to be looking at…but she’s getting paid thanks to you to looking at it…so I guess you do…

All this to say…I still like looking at her….pics….she looks good….and that’s enough for me in this empty life I live…

Posted in:Emily Ratajkowski|SFW

2015

10

Jul

Natalie Portman for Harper’s Bazaar of the Day

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I once wrote, but you didn’t ready, that I always laugh when I see Natalie Portman, only because she’s got so many gold stars of David next to her brandname…

The first being Jewish. Jewish guys fucking love hot Jewish girls, it gives them hope that they too will find a hot one amongst the inbred troll looking ones…since there are only so many Jewish girls around…and as we know…any culture has a limited amount of hot girls and the hot girl to troll girl ratio is never favorable….When you’re not forced to marry a Jewish girl to make your family happy, you have more options…so the hot Jewish girl’s stock is valuable..she’s in high demand…

That is why even the fattest most disgusting Jewish girl is a daddy’s girl with a bad attitude, because she knows she’ll be fine…married and mom…to a rich guy….

The second gold star of David is that she’s also done Star Wars…which is just a WTF..set for life…fanbase forever situation…

Here she is in Harper’s Bazaar…

Posted in:Natalie Portman|SFW

2015

10

Jul

Denise Richards Hooker Leg of the Day

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There are a lot of rumors that Denise Richards was one of Heidi Fleiss’ escorts that Charlie Sheen hired…and even made his wife…because every escort wants to legitimize their career as escorts…by focusing on the public image of her as an “actress”…married to an “actor”…even though we know the truth…

Charlie sheen loves the dirtiest of hookers and porn chicks who do the dirtiest of things..

She is the one who tamed Charlie Sheen for the media…which means….she probably does the dirtiest of fucking things…

I don’t even care that she’s a hooker, or rumored hooker, as I know actors and models who are also hookers…as are bottle service girls, strippers and actual hookers…

People are lazy, people like nice things, people like to get paid to fuck…especially when they are fake tit, fake face, hooker-looking girls…who were married to hooker lovers…right…

Well here’s her leg, only because it’s the most powerful paparazzi pic I’ve seen in a long time…so mysterious, someone get this guy a Vogue deal, it’s better than deporting his immigrant ass…

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Denise Richards|SFW

2015

10

Jul

Hanna Davis for SI SWIM DAILY of the DAy

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I don’t know why I post these shitty pics of shitty girls for Sports Illustrated as part of their marketing campaign…

I actually hate the pictures and everything they represent…they are boring…and the girls in them aren’t real models..

They are just hookers and this is me giving them more exposure so that they can charge more by the hour…

All while not giving a fuck about these pictures or this girl…

I am not jerking off to this, and you shouldn’t be either…this isn’t what I’m into…this isn’t interesting…she doesn’t even look good..

Yet here I am…feeding into it..because I have a problem I call updating this site everyday when I should just stare at the fucking wall..it’d be more rewarding..

Garbage…

Posted in:Hannah Davis|SFW

2015

10

Jul

Petra Nemcova’s Nipple Shit Stain of the Day

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The most impressive thing about this Eastern European model, is that she proves that Eastern European women are a breed of woman to fear, because even the skinny tall model version of them, can’t die in a natural disaster, when the person they were with was never to be found again…

That’s pretty impressive…and almost erotic…not her dying fiance, but a dead fiance makes a fantasy of moving in to console her before being her first post-death sex partner seem more attainable..

So here’s Petra Nemcova, Tsunami survivor…still alive many years later showing some areola…or as my weird immigrant calls it..the “shit stain” of the nipple…

Is it exciting, no…but is any of this exciting?

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Petra Nemcova|SFW

2015

10

Jul

Britney Spears Flexibility of the Day

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If you’re like me, you’ve jerked off to something yoga related at least once…

Whether it is Yoga pants and how great they make asses look…or some spiritual hippie bitch you brought home from the bar who uses yoga moves in the bedroom trying to expel your sperm out of her…because spiritual hippie bitches don’t use condoms…or razors…or maybe it was Yoga in the park show put on by new mothers or a college Yoga class trying to get some outdoor in the park air…or maybe it was just to girl on instagram showing iff their flexibility and overall health….wearing shorts…

Well now, Britney Spears and her yoga flexibility can be another one for you to get off to, if you’re into this kind of of mom of two vagina pop..which I am…because it smells like money….and cheetos…10 year old placenta, K-fed and probably like it needs a shower or two…she’s certifiable and if I’ve learned anything from medicated crazy people…it’s that vagina health is never their priority…

She’s good, even if she’s old…she still bends…and that’s how I like my puppets…

Posted in:Britney Spears|SFW

2015

10

Jul

Big Brother Masturbation of the Day

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Here’s a video for Big Brother a show that I am not interested in watching and have never been interested in watching…but that I am watching now…at least this clip of it…because it is apparently one of the contestants jerking off and smearing his cum on the girl he is jerking off with…

I don’t know if this dude is actually jerking off, or if watching a dude jerking off is something you are into, whether on Network Television or their webcast livefeed to keep their shit going 24 hours a day for fat, lonely, trailer trash with nothing better to do with their lives….but I assume public masturbation is, because it is the only way you can show people your pathetic dick…creeper..

All this to say, everything is porn, because humans are horny…stop repressing us mainstream media….let these two fuck graphic sex…instead of making them hide it under the covers like a bunch of religious weirdos…which they obviously aren’t, they are on Big Brother…

Posted in:Videos

2015

10

Jul

Lara Stone Models Purses of the Day

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Lara Stone is a cunt who tried to sue me for posting boring as fuck honeymoon pictures…back when she was married to a relevant comedian….at the time when she was naked all the time in her photoshoots while being a model…because that’s what models do..they are bodies that sell those bodies like hookers…because they are hookers…who eventually start a family with rich people…like TV show creators…

Not that any of that matters, but Lara Stone is still pretty fucking hot, and just because I can’t get over insignificant lawsuits that never amounted to anything, because I am insignificant in the grand scheme of things, like if you were to ask her what DrunkenStepfather.com is, she’d have no fucking idea..but I can still think she’s a cunt in this one sided relationship…a cunt I would like to wear as gas mask…in the apocalypse that is my life..

Posted in:Lara Stone|SFW