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2015

09

Apr

Scout Willis and Tallulah Willis Amazing in Bikinis of the Day

This picture is over a week old, but with certain celebrities, or kids of celebrities that’s about how long it takes for the amazingness of instgram whoring in a bikini to get noticed…they are just that relevant…

Now I’ve heard that both Scout and Tallulah Willis are amazing, nice, fun and they aren’t fame whores…so I’m not going to hate on them, or even their older sister who at one time had a weirdo head thanks to her mom’s wonky overrated genetics…that I made fun of all the time…back when I didn’t look at the bright side of things…like nice round fit ass…

The lesson of the day is that to hate on girls, sisters, who self produce this kind of magic…for a man with a sister fetish…would just be stupid…especially since all I really want is to be invited to this bootyshow pool party…I feel like I deserve it…

If anything, be nice to all vagina, and maybe it will send you nudes…unless it’s a garbage twat that needs to be taught a lesson…but in this situation, it seems like these girls are doing just fine…

Posted in:Scout Willis

2015

09

Apr

January Jones for Rhapsody Magazine of the Day

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I am not a fan of January Jones, her stupid name, or even her tits….

I mean sure I appreciate any bitch who has an unwanted pregnancy and doesn’t sell out the sperm donor involved, because he paid her off and/or it will be detrimental to her image….while she can just use it instead as a marketing hook…that keeps the media interested in her…

I just know that if knocked up a bitch, I’d want her to pretend it never happened and raise it like it was a fatherless bastard, because it is, even if I live down the street, or hall, just don’t get me involved, I’m busy drinking…and trying to fuck other girls…

I guess I also tend to like any girl who is hyped up because of her tits, you know give her one reason to matter, and make that reason be her bra size. It’s just a perfect level of objectification that makes things feel like old times, when women were nothing by the host body of tits and pussy.

Right?

Posted in:January Jones

2015

09

Apr

Uma Thurman in a Bikini of the Day

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Here’s a very unflattering picture of Uma Thurman’s stomach coming out of the water…hard nippled in a bikini…but at least it distracts from her scary man hands that if you google, you will see….and imagine giving you a handjob because it’s not gay if the man hands are connected to a vagina…

That said, I’ve never found Uma Thurman hot..but who cares what I think, it’s not like I made decisions that impact people’s careers or anything…

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Uma Thurman

2015

09

Apr

Drunk Girl Walks Into Freeway in Heels of the Day

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Here’s a crazy video of a stipid girl in San Diego who I guess was driving home drunk and her car either broke down…or she was too drunk to realize that she didn’t put the key in properly…but bitch acts like she’s pulled over on the side of the road in a small town…and not the fucking freeway…

Either way, she continues to be a crazy person, while the news crew is there and freaking out on her trying to save her….but sometimes some people deserve to die because they are fucking idiots…

The reality is she could have killed someone…and for that, I hope she gets prison time…

If you don’t like, here’s a spring breaker dealing with a Manatee…

Posted in:Videos

2015

09

Apr

Anna Ewers Rhymes with Sewers in Harper’s of the Day

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Anna Ewers rhymes with sewers, which makes sense because I want to eat her ass….or even lick her like the public toilet seat she may be…seeing as she’s a successful enough model in the fashion industry and that usually happens with balls being rubbed on her not necessarily while taking a shit..but if you’ve been to a public bathroom, or more importantly, if you’ve been to a casting, you know what I mean…the talent never turns down a producer, director, photographer’s demands to help secure said job…

Now that doesn’t mean her pussy smells like sewage…but based on these pics..even if it did…I would lick it all up…but that’s not saying much…I’ve licked up way worse..

Which brings up an interesting point…and that point is…I wonder how many people in the USA crawled into septic tanks to masturbate in strangers’ shit…cuz I’m thinking at least one person did…and that’s disgusting…

What isn’t disgusting…is Anna Ewers…who rhymes with Sewers…

Posted in:Anna Ewers

2015

09

Apr

Jesy Johnston by Drew Haran of the Day

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Her name is @JESYJOHNSTON and she’s in some pics by @DREWHARAN because that’s what hot girls do…they let people take pictures of them…so people like you can look and stare and wonder why your life went wrong…or try to make it better so that one day a girl like this will wake up next to you…

I would suggest you try to make yourife better…and I’ll get you started with these pics…

I know, I’m a hero…

That’s all.

Posted in:Photos

2015

09

Apr

Sofia Vergara Nipple of the Day

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Possible drug lord, or daughter of a drug lord who supplied all of hollywood with their cocaine…because hollywood fucking loves cocaine and as a thnak you they made her the highest paid actress on TV…Sofia Vergara…who I guess could just as likely be really good at seducing men with her massive tits…is in Vanity Fair…or some other magazine…shot by the legendary Annie Lebovitz….and apparently..who happens to be the photographer who hired the photographer who shot for me when I was in Maxim Magazine in 2007 when I was at the point of maybe becoming relevant, only to fall off the fucking map…as her assistant….making me feel really emotionally connected to both her lesbianism and Sofia Vergara, since it’s practically as if she shot me…right?

I don’t know why I am making this about me, I should make this about Sofia Vergara, the tits, who’s nipple you can see in the bath, because Annie the Lesbian likes bath tubs, she’s used them before in shoots…namely with Whoopi Goldberg…in what scarred me in my youth…because Whoopi Goldberg is a monster…

Anyway, I posted the cover yesterday…and here are the rest of the pics…because people love Sofia Vergara, maybe because only Hispanics watch network TV, or maybe becaue girls over 30 watch network TV and wish that their life turns around at 40 like it did for this one…she’s like an aspirational guide…to middle age…maybe there’s still hope…bitches everywhere…

Posted in:Sofia Vergara

2015

09

Apr

Haley Joel Osement Pretending To Have His Period of the Day

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I don’t know if you remember the “I see dead people’ kid who I think was even nominated for an Academy Award….who for at least a year or two was celebrated in the movie business by being in all kinds of movies…only to have hit puberty and fallen off the map…like so many childstars before him…because cute can turn to weirdo ugly real fast…

Well, I have this theory that he got a sex change when he hit 18, because he knew that if his tits were big enough, or if he posted enough bikini pics, dudes would care about him…as a her…

You see, tits get hits…so he rebranded himself as EMILY and now he’s pretending he has his period..because as a trained actor from a young age…he knows how to commit to a character….his parents beat it into him when they secured his first gig…

Posted in:Haley Joel Osement

2015

09

Apr

Lots of Models By Collier Schorr for Document Journal SS 2015 of the Day

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Collier Schorr is a photographer….who took pics of these models: Daria Werbowy, Freja Beha Erichsen, Joan Small, Katlin Aas, Astrid Holler, Zlata Mangafic, & Andreea Diaconu….for something called Document Journal….which seems like it is some “fashion” industry…uptight…dramatic and intense magazine…that I am only featuring because of the nipples…because I am like the Free the Nipple Movement, and have been officially since 2004…because I hated that GOOGLE and corporations didn’t advertise on nipples, so instead of making millions on the interent…I took a stance and posted the nipples, only to be called a porn site, even though it was just nipples and the real porn was happening in advertising executive’s offices…

That said, I don’t know who the nipple belongs to, I just know there are 30 pics to get the nipple, which is a lot if you’re lazy like me…and not even worth it because it is just nipple, but I’m going to post it anyways…because #nipple.

Posted in:Collier Schorr

2015

09

Apr

Alessandra Ambrosio’s New Lookbook of the Day

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Alessandra Ambrosio is a mom, who I guess is also the face of her own brand called ALE, up on some Jessica Simpson shit, hoping for the billion dollar pay out for doing little no work, but being able to sign off on designs her 30 something year old ass approves of…because she’s a model and is on top of the trends…that’s why this campaign looks like Coachella back in the Lindsay Lohan at Coachella days of 2006….Because in Brazil, like Wisconsin, things are a decade behind when it comes to style…but here is her catalog anyway..

I would like you to note how she is not in a bikini, or lingerie…which is kind of her thing…and I would like to make it clear that I don’t approve of any girl reinventing herself by putting more clothes on than we’re used to…

Posted in:Alessandra Ambrosio