I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2014

17

Dec

Paris Hilton’s Wet Spot of the DAy

I really don’t give a fuck about Paris Hilton, but when she looks like she had a miscarriage, or that she’s lost control of her bladder do to overuse, or like she possibly had one of her herpes blisters explode…I get excited but not in a I’m gonna jerk off to this old, washed up, pile of shit of a person….who has masterminded the world and made a lot of money kind of way….more in a point at laugh at this garbage ….

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Paris Hilton

2014

17

Dec

Kendall Jenner for Dazed of the Day

I refuse to watch anything the number 2 most searched “model” on the internet does…because she’s a Kardashian and the idea of contributing or being polluted by her bullshit…really doesn’t interest me….but for some reason I feel like putting it on my site that millions of people see – for them to watch – just so they can let me know if it is shit or not, and maybe they can go home and talk about it with their friends, pretty much doing way more good for her than if I just watched the shit…but at least I still didn’t give them my view….but I guess I gave them your view…

All this to say…she may be the worst and part of a shitty rich family but at least she’s hot…

Posted in:Kendall Jenner

2014

17

Dec

Rachel Bilson Bikini of the Day

Rachel Bilson is on a TV show…I just assumed she was still locked up in the farm up in Canada with her Star Wars boyfriend who robbed her of her youth like he was Britney’s parents, preventing her from having fun, slutting out, and flashing pussy outside night clubs, like all the other girls from the time she was first famous were doing…..and now he’s polluted her vagina by making it a mom pussy…with his sperm….because that’s what you do when trying to trap a girl forever…just ask David from 90210…he’s on the same hustle, but with Megan fox…

All this to say, she got in a bikini pre-pregnancy….I assume…and these are the pics that are going viral…

Posted in:Rachel Bilson

2014

17

Dec

Alexis Ren Hard Nipples of the Day

Alexis Ren is a new it girl, who I guess has gone viral thanks to Instagram and is now getting all famous, with campaigns for top tier brands like Wrangler Jeans that you may remember the poor kid in your high school in the 80s wearing..unless you were said poor kid…in which case you probably remember being judged when wearing them,…thanks for the memories K-Mart…

All this to say, apparently, they are making a comeback, using Alexis Ren, who ignored my email I sent her on May 10 of this year, making me kind of hate her for ruining our destiny of eternal love and happiness…

Posted in:Alexis Ren

2014

17

Dec

Barbara Fialho for Marie Claire Australia of the Day

Her name is Barbara Fialho….which sounds like Vile Ho…which hits close to home…because every girl I’ve ever slept with has been a vile ho, but unfortunately, none of them looked anything like this….

All this nostalgia is making me want to drink my feelings into numbness…

Posted in:Barbara Fialho

2014

17

Dec

Porn Stars Read How The Grinch Stole Christmas

In what is probably the most boring way you’ll ever see a pornstar, unless of course you are into all things pornstar, and/or you really like Christmas, Dr Seuss, the Grinch or the fact that porn stars are reading….capable of reading…because you, like most people assume, they only know how to fuck on camera and suck dick, in efforts to make lots more money than if they followed their college Bachelor of Arts degree’s path to work at Starbucks..

Now, I don’t watch porn, but I am a festive motherfucker who loves Christmas…and I think that this, at least in some ways is genius, in other ways is boring as fuck, because I don’t have an attention span, but it should be turned into a drinking game that if you make it to the end of the video involves shooting yourself in the face…or even as a stand in parent to read your kids to sleep while you go to the stripclub to drink away your Christmas bonus….

All this to say, Pornstars reading may not be the future, maybe they should have been in Grinch costumes, acting it out with green dicks down’t their throats, but it happened…and it involved so many girls….so here is the Cast, in order of appearance:

Anikka Albright, Shyla Jennings, Carter Cruise, Dana Vespoli, Mercedes Carrera, Sara Luvv, Ashlyn Molloy, Cherie DeVille, Ryder Skye, AJ Applegate, Ariana Grand, Chanel Preston, Riley Reid, Bree Daniels, Eva Long, Adriana Chechik, Tiff Bannister, Jodi Taylor, Samantha Rone, Dakota Skye, Liv Aguilera, Alaina Kristar, Violet Monroe, Scarlet Red, Karla Kush…my god…there are so many of them…..

And now my post is officially as long as the video….

Posted in:Videos

2014

17

Dec

Lindsay Lohan for Love Magazine’s Advent Calendar of the Day

LOVE MAGAZINE ADVENT CALENDAR continues with even more amazing bottom feeding trash that most people forget exists, or don’t care exists, but are still huge names, and people want to see dancing around in totally non-christmas related dance….to non-christmas related song…in some peep show style show…like this one of Lindsay Lohan…who has awesome tits…is a still a huge star to me…and who I would get pregnant if I could, because I don’t mind the herpes or the pile of broken sadness that comes with being Lindsay Lohan…in fact that who Parents whoring her out for their personal gain, destroying her at her core, is exactly what I look for in long term opportunistic love…

Either, here’s her botox face being amazing….looking like some kind of Claymation Christmas miracle…that is only a Miracle because she’s still alive…

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan

2014

17

Dec

Kid Richards Exclusive of the DAy

KID RICHARDS is what I like to call a genius film photographer from Portugal who is taking pretty interesting pictures of naked girls lit by weirdo fluorescent lights…that I think are amazing….but I could just be saying that because she is naked and I get sucked into things when they are naked….

The model is named Mariana. She’s pretty fantastic…but I could just be saying that because she is naked and I get sucked into things..when they are naked…but never the naked things I want to get sucked into, historically, all naked things I’ve been sucked into have been disgusting and I can’t escape.

Posted in:Kid Richards

2014

17

Dec

Victoria’s Secret Holiday Ad of the Day

The last thing I want to do in life is promote Victoria’s Secret. They are a billion dollar company, they aren’t paying me to promote their shit, they are just luring me in with tall model babes half naked in a Holiday ad, and I’m using it as masturbation fodder as they intended, and I hate being this weak…and giving into such a basic scam that has make many people rich…especially considering they haven’t evolved, their styling is shit, and bores me, and they have this potentially nude models, not nude, as to not offend their Christian audience…you know following dated bullshit regulations…opening the door up for a better version of Victoria’s Secret…that’s actually cool, racy, fun and sexy, but until then..here’s their commercial…which is like their infomercial fashion show…totally for the sake of selling product…using amazing girls…the best/worst ever.

Posted in:Victoria's Secret

2014

17

Dec

Selena Gomez Does Instagram of the Day

I have no idea why I am posting a Selena Gomez instagram round-up, like I fucking care about Selena Gomez, her LUPUS or the fact that she had Justin Bieber inside her when he was underage, like some kind of sex offender…

I mean, I am totally, one hundred percent confident in the fact that I don’t give a fuck about her or her probably breast implants…yet here I am….uploading pics of her like she matters to me…or really to anyone…

I just hope at least one of you is capable of jerking off to these pics…but I mean if you are…you’re probably already her fan…and you probably already have seen these since you follow her on instagram…unless you only like your instagram pics set to useless banter by a drunken asshole who didn’t get a blowjob last night even though he should have…becuase that’s what is supposed to happen when you’re in cocaine fueled 3 am dance parties in random crackhouses with a girl with great tits..

All this to say….here’s her instagram bullshit…that should be a sex tape…but proven everyday of my life…you can’t always get what you want.

Posted in:Selena Gomez