DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2014

05

Sep

Emily Palos by Dana Pennington of the Day

Emily Palos is some up and coming model, I’ve never really heard of her, but apparently I am following her on instagram.

I guess I am pretty good at creeping on new talent, finding the hot half naked girls before they really blow the fuck up…You know the amazing girls pushing the boundaries of the instagram terms and conditions with professionally shot pic after pic…getting themselves inst-famous, and thus being seen as insta-relevant, eventually making insta-money….before insta-blocking me for my insta-comments…

Being relevant to the brands and people with the money starts with how many followers you have, and as long as this girl is posing like this, I’ll follow her pretty much anywhere, whether it is a dark alley, home after seeing her in the club, or off a cliff to my death…I get sucked into ass like that…

This shoot is for C-HEADS and I dig it…she’s pretty amazing.

Posted in:Emily Palos

2014

05

Sep

Alessandra Ambrosio at an Event of the Day

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Alessandra Ambrosio is a model.

I like models.

I don’t really know what event she’s attending or leaving, I guess it doesn’t really matter, since I wasn’t invited to it, but more importantly, since she’s busting the fuck out of her top, like she’s rockin’ a pair of model implants, you know the smaller version of pornstar implants…and showing some leg…that since I like models…is pretty fucking distracting from anything else going on…like the fact that under that skirt is a vagina that shat out a couple kids. I try to ignore that…when other good things are going on..

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Alessandra Ambrosio

2014

05

Sep

Shay Mitchell and her Inflatable of the Day

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Shay Mitchell is some really famous girl you’ve probably never heard of – because you aren’t 12 or a fan of the show Pretty Little Liars, that I hear a lot about, but that I don’t watch becasue I have absolutely no interest in being polluted by, or seeing what is polluting the minds of the youth…but I am going to assume you’re pervert ass knows every episode by heart, it’s how you seduce the 10-13 year old girls you’re into – I mean puppies and candy in vans is so cliche, you’re more into intellectual conversations on the happenings of this nonsense…

I don’t even have an interest in her greased up tits in a bikini posing with an inflatable, since inflatables are trendy, maybe it’s hormonal, maybe I’m burnt out, maybe it’s boring if there’s no spread asshole like Bar Refaeli, maybe it’s just another overpaid, overrated girl…but she’s still got good tits – so I’ll still post it, even if I don’t care.

Posted in:Shay Mitchell

2014

05

Sep

Rita Ora’s Big Tits for some Event of the Day

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Rita Ora was at some event…because she’s always at an event. It’s her everyday hustle because the more people see her big tits, the more they will think she actually matters and is an actual talent who deserves everyone’s money and fame and fortune…because she feels like she deserves everyone’s money and fame and fortune…it’s called being an egotistical and entitled cunt…who is talented enough for the execs to shove ideas in her head that she’s more important than she is – because they need to make money when Rihanna’s not touring…and they might as well do it with this one.

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Rita Ora

2014

05

Sep

Lara Stone in Calvin Klein of the Day

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Lara Stone tried to sue me once, I don’t know if that was just her flirting with me, you know playing hard to get, or maybe she is just a bratty cunt who thinks people who post paparazzi pics of her shitty honeymoon deserve to be punished, since it is her private moment of officially winning at gold digging….

The lawsuit never went anywhere, because her shitty honeymoon pictures she wanted off the site were hardly as interesting as her model pics, that are for the most part topless and busty, and photoshopped and lit proper that make her look like less of a vile hag….and more of a lovely girl you’d masturbate to…like in this Calvin Klein campaign…that’s not all that amazing, but that made her more money than I’m getting for posting it, since Calvin Klien isn’t one of our corporate sponsors…even though they should be….

Here’s a Commercial….

Here’s another Commercial….

Posted in:Lara Stone

2014

05

Sep

Jessica Biel in Bed to Inspire You Lasting Longer in Bed of the Day

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Here’s a little / big and muscular possibly scary and married to the lamest effeminate motherfucker Jessica Biel in bed to inspire you to LAST LONGER IN BED …because when you see girls in bed, whether they are famous or not, you should want to make that moment last as long as you can, especially since it never really happens for you…seeing as you’re a socially awkward creep, but I guess you could still get that last longer in bed spray HERE to make your premature ejaculation masturbation better…whether looking at Jessica Biel in Yahoo! photoshoots or whatever other weird fetish shit you’re into..

Posted in:Jessica Biel

2014

05

Sep

Aubrey O’Day Watching TV of the Day

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Aubrey O’Day was once a pig getting violated by the black billionaire rappers who gave her a chance on their TV show…a pig who slowly got fatter and fatter until no one cared about her anymore…not that the black billionaire rapper ever did…but she probably liked to think he did…because it made her feel better about herself….and her sleeping with the boss.

But she’s gone back to white, she’s got fit, and things are turning around for her.

I’m not one of the anti-black guys on white girls, I actually encourage it, because it pisses white guys off so much, but I am just saying that she’s lookin’ amazing…at least from this angle…but then again, who doesn’t look good at this angle…

Posted in:Aubrey O'Day

2014

05

Sep

Anna Ewers for Interview of the Day

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Anna Ewers, not to be confused with Hannah Sewers, a bitch I once fucked who had a pussy that smelled like raw sewage, thanks to bad hygiene, an infection and what possibly was a ruptured large intestine from an insertion injury that lead to shit in the cunt….

I made that story up, but this Anna Ewers who rhymes with Sewers and sewers smell like shit…and the last thing I want to think about when I see a hot topless model…who isn’t as topless as she has been in the past… HERE

She should change her name to Anna Sunshine of my Life…or something with a little less EW and a lot more romance…

Posted in:Anna Ewers

2014

05

Sep

Tiernan Cowling’s Lingerie Shoot for Galore of the Day

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Tiernan Cowling is a model who is engaged to DJ Superstar Steve Aoki – he’s a friend and now his girlfriend’s Australian model tits are too…

I’ve never met her, and that’s probably a good thing, because I am the kind of friend who would totally trick your girlfriend into getting naked in front of me…but I guess the good people at GALORE..who are also friends beat me to it…

I guess tits and nudity isn’t really a big deal anymore, everyone’s doing it, especially relevant people, but I still like lookin’ at it…I’m old school like that…

Posted in:Tiernan Cowling

2014

05

Sep

McKayla Maroney in a Bikini for Ice Bucket Challenge of the Day

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I know these bikini ice bucket videos of McKayla Maroney are Three weeks old…but I figured I’d post them anyway, not because I am a fan of hers or think she’s hot…but because in her awkwardness, I always had a feeling she was a bit of sexual deviant, up on some Alyson Hannigan in American Pie band camp shit, where despite looking like a total stunted, 12 year old, coddled by her stage mom personality…she was actually loving the male attention…and even taking nudes…so basically, American Gold Medal hero…was producing underage pornography – but she won’t go to jail for it…

She’ll just hit the gym in her gymnast leotard, to get your weird gymnast fetishes going, you sexual deviant…pretending her nudes didn’t happen..when clearly they happened…because that’s what her lawyers said….

I know not very exciting stuff, but I’m hungover so it’s good enough.

TO SEE PICS OF HER IN A ONE PIECE AT THE GYM CLICK HERE

Posted in:McKayla Maroney