DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2014

24

Jun

Cara Delevingne Gets Intense on Instagram of the Day

Cara Delevingne answer to breaking up with Michelle Rodriguez, is that she has no issues grabbing onto a new dick, because she’s Cara Delevingne and not only does she have a trust fund thanks to her grandfather, a trust fund that got her running in the right circles before being scooped up as an “It” girl in the fashion scene, despite being more an ET than and IT, that was a “this bitch is a fucking alien” joke that didn’t work out so well for anyone involved…

As an “it girl” and makes her own damn money, lives her own damn life, meets all kinds of people, travels to awesome places like she’s retired cuz she pretty much is and no Michelle Rodriguez testicles are going to bring her down…and to prove it, she got half naked for instagram.

Posted in:Cara Delevingne

2014

24

Jun

Emily Ratajkowski Still Exists and She’s in GQ of the Day

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I am a firm believer that Emily Ratajkowski is on the decline. I think last year was her breakout year, and pretty much gave us all she has to offer. I don’t think the attention span of the general public is really in this one for a long haul. I mean sure she’s got an interesting bird face, and massive tits, and big fake looking lips and tits, but so does every fucking lap dancing stripper I know….

She got in a viral video, people liked her tits, the mainstream media interpreted that as relevant, like they did with Tila Tequila, and now she’s just riding that wave as it comes into shore…because there are so many more interesting, friendlier, prettier, bustier, amazing girls that Emily Ratajkowski…

She just pulled off a good scam, and with every scam, you eventually get cuaghter.

I guess GQ is giving her one more shot, but this time next year, you won’t even remember this bitch…unless she proves me wrong, which is possible…I’m wrong all the fucking time…I mean look at my life…clearly I’ve been wrong before, like in every fucking choice I’ve made!

here are the GQ pics…

I really don’t think Emily Ratajkowski is hot. But I think she brings hope to average girls with big tits that one day they too can be on the cover of GQ…a year after they are relevant…because GQ is slow to the gate…

Posted in:Emily Ratajkowski

2014

24

Jun

Selena Gomez in a Pink Bikini Top of the Day

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The rumor is that Selena Gomez is getting fucked by Bieber again. I like to think it’s more got to do with her having a tour to promote. It’s always good to keep people talking and wondering about your life because it means you’re still relevant…I mean I am not even sure these two ever fucked, Bieber’s been off fucking groupies and pornstars since he was 11, and Selena, well, she’s probably up to the same thing because kids these days grew up on porn and are all fucking freaks…which I endorse fully…I just assume it’s always been good for both their business…

That said, I don’t give a fuck who or what Selena Gomez is fucking, I just like when her bloated from LUPUS steroid treatment that makes her look like a chipmunk face, is busting out of her bikini top…because I am a grown ass man, why the fuck else would I even acknowledge Selena Gomez exists…cuz of her music, or cuz I’m a fan of her acting…shut the fuck up….look at her bikini top.

Posted in:Selena Gomez

2014

24

Jun

Hayden Panettiere Proves a Point of the Day

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So Hayden Panettiere posted this tweet:

Didn't know paparazzi traveled with a carnival fun house mirror app on their cameras : / #whoknew! pic.twitter.com/1tqrbTgnzS

— hayden panettiere (@haydenpanettier) June 23, 2014

I assume she’s not too happy that the paparazzi made her look like a bloated troll on his way to hobbit land or whatever the fuck trolls do…because she went to the trouble to post the picture and be like “they be making me look fat”…yes Hayden Panettiere is a black woman in my mind…a black woman who loves the D…and goes for the gold with a 7 foot tall boxer who you know would rip her apart if she wasn’t so eager, accepting, and big vaginaed on such a small frame…

So she went and put on a spandex outfit to prove her point and the whole thing – pretty fucking weird…I guess the hormonal bitch wants to maintain sex appeal that I feel she never had…

TO SEE ALL THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Hayden Panettiere

2014

24

Jun

Izabel Goulart Bikini Model of the Day

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Izabel Goulart is a bikini model…and an Instagram fitness icon…who I’ve watched in various states of erotic as fuck fitness poses…that make her bikini pictures pretty fucking boring…it’s like she doesn’t exist to me unless she’s in squat position demonstrating technique…I mean any girl can get into a bikini…but only the chose ones can give people boners when they are sweating and building that bikini body…

Apparently, she’s in Ibiza doing this shoot. In other words, her life is pretty shitty, all that travel to exotic, fun, places…in luxury where she is pampered for a week, only to spend 10 hours posing in a bikini for 50,000 dollars…it’s a very sad story…

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Izabel Goulart

2014

24

Jun

Kate Compton for Treats! of the Day

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Photographer LUCIMA and Videographer Chris Vongsawat shot this amazing fucking video with a girl I follow on instagram called Kate Compton for our friends and geniuses over at TREATS! MAGAZINE who know how to get a good looking model naked…for art.

This video is intense and amazing.

Posted in:Kate Compton

2014

24

Jun

Ashley Smith is a Busty Trick for Fashion of the Day

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Her name is Ashley Smith, she’s been modelling forever, but only recently did she start getting any real attention, that’s not to say she wasn’t always making models, it’s just to say that I used to follow her on instagram and harass her, before being deleted by her and blocked by her, as girls do when they can’t deal with the burning love they have for me…you know when my romantic advances upset their boyfriends…but since those days, she’s got a following, still has awesome huge tits and a gap and despite our love never materializing through instagram, like it has with so many other girls I’ve had sex with, I still believe there is hope for us.

HEre she is in unFLOP magazine by our friend and photographer SILJA MAGG

Good times were had by all, but I’d like more nipple.

Posted in:Ashley Smith

2014

24

Jun

Zoe Dechesne Topless on a Yacht Video Weirdness of the Day

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This is a weird video of Zoe Dechesne.

I don’t know who the fuck Zoe Dechesne, apparently she’s some Sports Illustrated model, but I don’t know if that’s true or not, because I am too lazy to look, and the truth is, I don’t really consider Sports Illustrated models to be actual models, they are just busty girls who have tricked you into thinking they are better that average girls in bikinis, because they have the right friends and/or agents who throw them into SI for free, thinking it will do amazing things for them, when in reality there is only a Kate Upton success story from their roster every decade….and if you look at Kate Upton…you know that not only a lot of food went into her, but also a lot of Marketing..

Anyway, this Zoe is not Kate Upton, and Sports Illustrated wasn’t her meal ticket, but she was in the magazine in 2010, and what better way to draw attention to yourself now, than to be on a a yacht with her friends topless, which in France, where I assume she is from, with a name like that…is considered wearing a shirt…

I am all for girls getting topless when together, they don’t need to be a one time Sports Illustrated model to make it count…in fact I want every girl topless all the time…it will make my life more interesting to go through…

TO SEE ALL THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Videos

2014

24

Jun

Sex in the Streets of Paris and Other Videos of the Day

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Police Save a Woman who Tried to Get Run Over by a Train

Failed Assassination Attempt from Last Year

A dude who pissed himself on the Bus

Escalator Fail…

Weird Performing Art…Screaming into Crotches

Posted in:Videos

2014

24

Jun

Morning Hangover Dump of the Day

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Do you ever fantasize about marrying and then getting a middle of the road, average looking, pretty suburban fat girl pregnant, so that you can forever live in mediocrity, you know an average man with a simple life and a simple wife…struggling to save up to go to Disney land? Because I am trying to find a porn about that…and nothing’s coming up…

Here are some morning links…yes..they just happened..

Britney’s Birthing Hips
GO

Hayden Panettiere’s Skimpy Pregnancy Clothing
GO

My Girl Phoebe Price Showing Her BRa
GO

The Kid Who Organized all the Candy
GO

Super Mario Bros Acapella – Why Do Peeople Still Do This
GO

The Craziest Celebrity Stories of 2014 So Far
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Elisabetta Canalis in Lingerie
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Very Cool Optical Illusion
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This is where all the Cougars Who Want to Fuck Play…
GO

The Greatest White Players in NBA History
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So Many Girls Getting Their Fuck On…
GO

This is a Galery of “Seriously WHo Does This”
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS