DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2013

24

Dec

Candice Swanepoel’s Nude Vogue Promo Pic of the Day

Candice Swanepoel may not be a Christmas miracle sent from South Africa to make us questions whether we would do her despite the risk of her HIV thanks to the high AIDS rate and nature of her half naked career…even though she probably left South Africa a virgin…as the industry abducted her…I know, I’ve said this before…but I’d still dive deep and without condom in hopes of impregnating her..and convincing her to keep it because she may not have another chance…but in my defence I do that to random scragglier women who probably have more chance having AIDS than Candice Swanepoel…at least based on their herpes scabs…

Either way, here’s some pics of Candice’s Vogue shoot coming out soon…and she’s naked…OMG>

Posted in:Candice Swanepoel

2013

24

Dec

Sofia Vergara’s Christmas Bikini Bottoms of the Day

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Sofia Vergara may be old as fuck, but she does this whole showing her ass thing pretty fucking well…especially at her age…and more importantly at her level of battered pussy cuz you know she had a kid at 20, where shit probably bounced back for her, but she also went from Miami immigrant to superstar, sure it took 20 years, but she’s the highest paid person on TV now, and that only happens with vaginal insertion…FACT.

Vaginal insertion I’d like to watch and not just cuz I love vaginal insertion…and not just because I know this vagina can insert all kinds of things…but because I love this ass…despite it’s age…which is weird for me…but let’s blame Christmas…

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Sofia Vergara

2013

24

Dec

Emily Ratajkowski GQ Outtake of the Day

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Emily Ratajkowski was in GQ and with every photoshoot that happens comes hundreds of pictures they don’t run with that are just as hot when photoshopped as the other pictures they did publish….

The magazine came out in November, the pics came out in October, it was Shot by Terry Richardson, her body looks banging, her face not as weird as usual, her Belly Button, not as OUTTY as my that exploded deli sandwich pussy I watched masturbate on webcam last night…and I’ll post and stare, even if you can find naked pics of her…vagina and all…all over the fucking internet…and even if I think she’s a little too celebrated, no matter how lovely she is, not one pussy deserves this much power..ever…but I’ll still write her love songs, cuz that’s just what I Do for the women who have worked their way into my heart by ignoring my Facebook messages…

TO SEE ALL THE PICS AND VIDEOS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Emily Ratajkowski

2013

24

Dec

Zippora Seven Titties for Fashion of the Day

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Show NSFW Content

Zippora Seven is some hippie model from New Zealand, who probably lives in LA now, because that’s where these kinds of beach models end up, and her claim to fame was a scandal a bunch of years back that involved her posing nude at 16 for some magazine, because that’s illegal, the 2 years between 16 and 18 make a massive difference in terms of a girl’s maturity and ability to show off her tits…that probably look identical…cuz puberty happens at 7….

Either way, with a name like Zippora, you can just assume what kind of nudist weirdos on drugs in the New Zealand countryside you’ve seen in your Lord of the Rings nerd shit…and who really cares…stare at her tits…in this random shoot.

Posted in:NSFW|Zippora Seven

2013

24

Dec

Helen Flanagan as the Playboy Bunny of the Day

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Helen Flanagan the actress turned Glamour model with huge tits…who I guess thinks being a Glamour model is higher impact and a better career move than being on some Shitty UK show 80 year old women watch…and decided that rather than riding that out into a career on some shitty soap 80 year old women watch..she might as well shock and awe and bust out her tits in photoshoots cuz that’s what Kelly Brook and Jordan Katie Price did and look at those millionaire bitches now…

I’m not complaining…because I don’t care enough to care…

But also cuz any excuse for a girl to get naked for success…career…or really just for the sake of getting naked…works for me…

She’s posing with her stupid Megan Fox Tattoo for Playboy and she looks lovely and photoshopped the way I like my pictures to be…as they help me judge regular girls based on unrealistic expectations…which leads to better sex from them…when even the hot ones scramble…with their inadequacies…

Posted in:Helen Flanagan

2013

24

Dec

Izabel Goulart for GQ Portugal of the Day

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Izabel Goulart is a hard faced, hard body, fitness advocate with long fucking legs, straight from Brazil, sent to America to do the occasional campaign, who was once a Victoria’s Secret model, pulled out with her millions, but still walks their show cuz it’s good for the ego to be part of something a billion idiots watch and don’t realize is a shitty ad campaign…

Well now she’s in GQ Portugal, because she speaks their language…and I think she looks awesome…because bitch puts in work people…and you should do…as you eat your Christmas cakes you fucking pig.

Posted in:Izabel Goulart

2013

24

Dec

More Rihanna Christmas of the Day

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I can guarantee one thing…Rihanna is not out visiting Shanty Towns bearing gifts. You know giving back to her people, her community, her island…not handing out Wal Mart gift cards…or big screen TVs

She is instead just flaunting to everyone who knows her and grew up with her, letting them know she’s fucking made it, and that she’s better than them, and always has been, even when they used to tease her..

Remember it’s a small island, they all know each other…or about each other…and every time I’ve been to Barbados…the people tell me she’s a cunt he doesn’t tip, who acts like a bratty tourist, and who just is not down to earth…

But I guess when you’re Rihanna and the biggest fucking deal…living in a 22 million dollar condo…your granny used to fucking clean…it’s hard to stay grounded…even when walking the beaches you grew up walking…

Who cares…I just like that she’s running around in lingerie making a Christmas Spectacle of herself, because why be a low key famous person, that’s not the reason you worked so hard to be famous, but rather you did for people to stare….

Posted in:Rihanna

2013

24

Dec

Naya Rivera’s Ghetto Booty in Leather Pants of the Day

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Naya Rivera is a Glee star who someone told me was black, but who I think is just hispanic , but whatever she is doesn’t matter, we are all God’s people…and some of us just have better ghetto booty than each other…that’s all…

So here’s Naya Rivera’s ghetto booty in leather looking pants being popped out for social media…reminding me just how much I love a big round ass…it’s a fucking Christmas miracle…

Posted in:Naya Rivera

2013

24

Dec

More From Lady Gaga’s Weird Nude Shoot of the Day

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Photographer JEFF KOONS had the misfortunate experience of having the stare and deal with a nude Lady Gaga, and attempt to make her look appealing, by hiding her fucking face and focusing on her fit dancing monkey ass…and I can only assume the whole room smelled like death radiating from the depths of her soul through her vagina…cuz that’s what happens when the devil takes over your body…

He released some of the outtakes, because why not milk it when you can, he probably made a lot of money cuz of the album cover and booked lots of jobs, she’s a big deal especially when naked…I just think we should celebrate his hard work in putting himself on the front lines like that…it couldn’t have been a good experience…like a pulitzer prize winning war photographer…but with more gore….

Posted in:Lady Gaga

2013

24

Dec

Drunk Irish Santa and Some Other Holiday Cheer of the Day

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Sure this is more my Irish Chirstmas

But drunk Santa is pretty good, as long as he’s not touching boys and girls inappropriately as Santas do, even if the whole foundation of his existence…is pedophilia…we like to pretend his gifts aren’t “hush money”…but rather celebrating the birth of christ…because celebrating the birth of Christ through a totally unrelated pervert criminal…makes fucking sense….

What doesn’t make sense is why this neighbor hasn’t taken advantage of gun laws to put an end to this light/noise and raping Christmas pollution….

I’m fucking drunk on eggnog and it’s 11 am…I’m better than this…no…I’m not…

Posted in:Videos