DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2013

13

Nov

Izabel Goulart Workout Video for the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show of the Day

In case you were wondering…the Victoria’s Secret Fashion show that is going to be on TV in an hour long infomercial to get all the fat Americans brainwashed into buying Victoria’s Secret product for their fat wives this Christmas through the babes they have wearing the products…babes you all love…because that’s what they want you to do…

And Izabel Goulart, Brazilian fit as fuck, amazing creature I would sing love songs to, if only there wasn’t a language barrier keeping our love from materializing, because you know it is our language is the only thing getting between us…the one thing preventing our genitals from being one – hoping I accidentally knock her up and not the fact that she’s a fit as fuck amazing Victoria’s Secret model…who gets hit up all day from top level humans…making her too cool for fat, drunk mexican dudes who run sleazy websites that 4 people read…in Canada…seriously…

That said, here’s her working out prepping in ways that touch my soul…and by soul I mean penis…no wait that’s me touching my penis…but I blame this video.

Posted in:Izabel Goulart|SFW

2013

13

Nov

Dogs VS Asshole of the Day

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I have this theory that dogs are people too, because they possess the qualities humans aspire to have, from shitting in public, to kicking’ it all day like they are homeless..only to be fed, taken care of not to mention they are loyal, live and die for the pack, and are just ridiculously sweet and cute…and make men with no soul..or tarnished soul…blackened and broken souls…learn to love a living thing again….

So seeing a dude kick a dog, makes me mad, but seeing the dogs scare the asshole like a bitch, makes it better….I like seeing the underdog win…

Posted in:Videos

2013

13

Nov

Jen Selter’s Before and After Face of the Day

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Posted in:Jen Selter

2013

13

Nov

Nina Agdal Nipples on a Hot Photoshoot of the Day

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I know I am a hater…but yesterday I watched one of her videos the other day and for a minute I forgot that she was just another hot body, bad face, on some Brooklyn Decker “we met at the retard institution our parents dropped us off at as kids”…with rocking the “will work for free, or tax credits”…only for SI to Scoop them up….I forgot that Adam Maroon 5 tainted her as the pussy he hit before getting engaged to his ex VS gf…Then today…I woke up to her nipples…nipples I’ve probably seen but forgot because all models show their tits…and I am not some weird fan boy who remembers things after I post them…but this shit, right now, retard or not…SI Covergirl failure or not…because last year was her year, but Kate Upton ate her way back onto it, and this year is going to be Emily Ratajkowski, pushing Nina Agdal to the side, a place where broken dreams leads to broken hearts and most importantly…bad decisions I am very into watching go down…

All I know is this is very very well timed staged bikini photoshoot behind the scene paparazzi pics…the team is planning the cover right now…most of the shoots are being wrapped up for the Swimsuit issue…and now press, press, press and titties are her only hope to beat out EmRata…someone she probably hates for stepping on her toes and rattling up what was meant to be hers…

Model wars…like the real side of it…the jealousy…the hate…would make for a good porno…if it was less about whiney bitches whining and more about them eating each other out…

Posted in:Nina Agdal|NSFW

2013

13

Nov

Cake of the Day

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Bitches love cake…Cake cake cake….even old white trash girls…who still call dick’s peckers….

I like how this shit ends…

If you don’t like that – here’s a video of a girl in Malaysia shutting down a guy trying to rob her…

Posted in:SFW|Videos

2013

13

Nov

Miranda Kerr Showing You Where Bieber Put It of the Day

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Miranda Kerr had sex with Justin Bieber because her husband is gay.

It got her fired from Victoria’s Secret, because it happened on their time…and they can’t have the wholesome mom with an A-List Disney husband pulling shit like that…it reflects badly on the brand especially to the Christians…

That’s why she had a one-year deal to stay with Bloom…and not announce their split..it was in the payout package of her employment contract…guaranteed…because their shit was announced pretty much 1 year to the date the show was shot last year…

It doesn’t really matter, the cat is out of the bag, but now while the VS models prepare their big show….Miranda Kerr is wearing sex shop dresses like a hooker, I guess that’s Bieber’s fetish…and showing the world where Bieber stuck it in…

She started as a VS model..now she’s here…hitting rock bottom slowly…because all good things come to an end…and your soul dies…the second you bang a Bieber…

I like failures…I’m into where this is going….

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Miranda Kerr|SFW

2013

13

Nov

Idiot on a BMX of the Day

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We are not all created equally…some of us are idiots with idiot ideas who do idiotic things…like try to hit 50 MPH on a BMX…only to get the wobbles…that happen to me every time I am drunk…and happen to girls right before I ask them out to come home with me at the end of a hard drinking night where someone…may or may have not slipped something into their drink….

This guy’s a fucking clown..I’m just sad this didn’t end with him being run over by his friend…you know to escalate the level of moron…

Posted in:Videos

2013

13

Nov

Marloes Horst Titty Grab for the Cover of Some Porn Magazine of the Day

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Here is Marloes Horst reminding us the lie of the advertising industry that I deal with daily…by grabbing her tits on the cover of some magazine for fashion that you know big brands spend money on…that’s more hardcore than this site because these perverts conceptualized it while I’m just doing commentary on it – yet they won’t advertise with me…fucking hypocrites…but at least in both cases, the winner and the loser end of the spectrum there’s still a hot topless model on the cover of a magazine grabbing tits.

Posted in:Marloes Horst

2013

13

Nov

Genevieve Morton – Plus Size Model – in “Thinning” Swimsuits of the Day

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America is so blinded by fat, because all their women are obese, one comes a long pushing 160, and they get all excited because there’s a little hip to waist ratio, something they aren’t used to as the girls they fuck normally have bellies hanging over their elastic waist plus sized pants…

While South Africa likes their white bitches thick, because they are black…but more importantly, it’s still a sign of money and not dying of AIDS…

So I get why Genevieve Morton is a model at home…but I don’t really get why she’s all up in SI, I mean other than keeping the critics of the girls they shoot at bay, saying “what do you mean we only do anorexic girls with fit bodies and fat tits, look at Upton and Morton…or as we like to call them in the office the TONS because that’s how much their combined weight is in both food they consume and standing on a scale holding hands like a bunch of fat fucking lesbians.”….

Here she is posing in bathing suits made for fat chicks, called Miracle probably by a division at SI, called the Miracle Suit…all full of SPANX and she looks more fit than usual..but she’s still plus sized modelling which is only hot at 3 am while too drunk to have standards…

Posted in:Genevieve Morton

2013

13

Nov

Morning Hangover Dump of the Day

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No one ever celebrates addicts who die of overdoses for being so driven and committed – that they would die for their one passion….#followyourdreams…like I did when I started…The Church of Saggy Day Taints….

Here are some morning links…

8 Bit Hip Hop Medley…To Start the Day
GO

Girls With Eyes – Something I’m Not Used to – Blind Bitches are More My Type..
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Kelly Brook and Jeremy Piven Fuck…Cuz He Fucks Everything and She Fucks Anything that May Get Her Cast as a Third Tier Role in Entourage.
GO

Free Computer Strippers….Fun…
GO

Angelina Jolie in her Disney Trailer for Maleficent
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Canadians are Too Honest
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Mariah Carey’s Big Bra-Less Boobs
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Cameron Diaz Looks Haggard on the Set of Annie
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Funniest Celebrity Make-Unders
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17 Weird Taco Tueday Gifs
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I LIKE GIRLS….DO YOU LIKE GIRLS…HERE ARE GIRLS
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Worst Fight Scene Ever
GO

Marine Sergeant Does a Dance
GO

Some Girl Pulling her Panties Down…Yes.
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS