DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2013

30

Oct

Monica Bellucci in for Vanity Fair Tits of the Day

Italians fucking love this busty MONICA BELLUCCI she’s port to them……I think it is because she is one of their own and unlike most Italian wives she’s curvy and has sex appeal, and isn’t’ 400 pounds and full of pasta and meat balls, growing a little Mario moustache because that’s what happens when you give the fuck up and decide to have a dozen kids because that’s what the POPE wants…

I guess it’s up on some Jewish dudes who just met a hot Jewish girl, it’s like some Holy Grail shit, that will make the family proud if they are good enough at seducing them into marriage and babies..

I mean people generally like their own kind, and in some parts of the deep south, that means fucking family members…it’s just basic genetics…but even though I am not Italian, I can say, this old set of tits, is fucking glorious in her Vanity Fair shoot…and that’s why I am posting it…

Posted in:Monica Bellucci

2013

30

Oct

Janice Dickinson’s Panty Flash of the Day

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I think this panty flash happened a few days ago, but really doesn’t matter, especailly when I am just excited to see ZOMBIE TITS making an attention seeking comeback around Halloween…which is appropriate…because that is a ZOMBIE’S favorite time of year….all undead and shit…with dried up genitals some of you may be glad she’s keeping covered up to mask the sight and scent of rotting flesh…but that I am pretty sad about…because I like people, especially attention seeking ex-models in their 90s, at least that’s what their droopy, falling off the bones skin, age I assume she is…to go all out with their flashing…but I’ll still stare at this shit, because it would be rude to not take in this kind of gift sent from vagina heaven…

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Janice Dickinson

2013

30

Oct

Miley Cyrus Pumpkin Carving Porn of the Day

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Miley Cyrus is a pumpkin artist, some may even call her a visionary or an idiot savant with no formal art training but who creates such masterpieces…on her canvas that is pumpkins…work, if you can even call it that, that involves a girl getting eaten out by another girl, fun and a dude fucking a girl from behind, topped up with 420 with a Marijuana leaf…that you’d expect to find on some dude’s pick-up truck in middle America cuz weed is so cool…

People are giving her attention, thinking she’s so wild and crazy and naughty, while I would just be driving through Hollywood looking for the house these are outside of, to try to perform the pumpkin acts on Miley, since I think she’s amazing.

I am not really one of those people who cares that her fan base is 12, and that this is too crazy for them to be exposed to, because this is the internet, and girls lose their virginity at 9 years old now…

We’re all fucking desensitized, broken, some of us are just better at monetizing it…and if anything all this does is make me sad that Festive Miley isn’t craving pumpkins in my bed, and by carving pumpkins I mean showing me to twerk…on my face…

Either way, I am a fan of her “My parent’s are getting divorced, I am some kind of money making puppet, I’m so broken and rebelling cuz I didn’t have a childhood” hustle…It’s porn to me…pumpkin porn….to me…I just hope she roasted the seeds.

Posted in:Miley Cyrus

2013

30

Oct

Some Rihanna Underwater Bikini Erotica of the Day

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I am into Rihanna’s self produced erotica and I don’t know why but I know I can’t help it…I mean I know she’s not the hottest girl out there, I know that her body isn’t the greatest, I know her talent and success are pretty much totally mutually exclusive..,meaning she shouldn’t be this famous based on her singing, dancing, or even look…but in some kind of deal making with the devil…she is…

I guess that she knows it, and that is the reason she keeps up the exhibitionism, it brings back memories of her sucking the dick to the top…and even more confusing than her fame, from shanty to 22 million dollar condo in Barbados is that I buy into her bullshit….

I blame the self shot bikini pics, that are almost unnecessary because she’s so fucking famous, which makes the fact that she does them pretty hype, and I guess I am that easy to win over…

Here are the pics she just posted…while I go drink…

Posted in:Rihanna

2013

30

Oct

Weird and Emotional Guy Fieri Fight of the Day

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I mean I knew Guy Fieri had some of the worst hair around, but he doesn’t need to be a gay basher about it, even if kicking him out of the car, probably after asking for a blow job, because you can never trust a man with that much product in his hair, at least not when it comes to getting blow jobs from dudes, because this kinda reminds me of every hooker I’ve hired who got a little too comfortable, you know all settled in and not leaving the SUV…

Either way, mad homo and filled with love…I think this is actually gay foreplay.

Posted in:Videos

2013

30

Oct

Francesa Eastwood Upskirt of the Day

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My new fetish is Francesa Eastwood….and really any celebrity daughter…because there’s something magical about a girl who was raised by a dad who fucked all kinds of girls while with and divorced from her mother…who lived the rockstar life full of booze and drugs in front of them…who was so caught up in his own shit to give them any real attention…but new money enough to just throw cash their way to shut them up and encourage them to do fun things since actors pulled off the biggest scam ever…making money off playing make-belief and thinking they were more important than God for it…which makes for a very amazing dynamic…especially when it is flashing it’s hot and colourful panties…I am into this.

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Francesa Eastwood

2013

30

Oct

Coco Smothering a Beach Ball of the Day

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Some fat chick posted something on her Facebook about how girls with fat asses are healthier than girls with not fat asses thanks to misreading the article and not realizing that they didn’t mean a girl who was 100 pounds overweight with a fat ass, but rather a girl with a fat ass in proportion to her stomach…something that doesn’t really apply to this fat ass, because her fat ass is implants…but that still made me laugh, but not as much as seeing Coco choke out this beach ball like it killed one of her relatives, too big and old to pull this off, yet still doing this, because either she’s a fetish model, or maybe she just needs the male attention, and for some reason I am totally into the ridiculousness in it…

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Coco

2013

30

Oct

Adriana Lima is Not Too Old for Numero of the Day

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Adriana Lima proves that even after a girl turns 100 years old in model years, which is around 30 in regular human years, her superior genetics allow her to be someone who despite having babies, and likely a mangled, shredded vagina, to be someone I will look at in lingerie photoshoots, and who magazines will pay to be in lingerie, even though she’s well past her prime, because being past her prime is actually, still hotter than everyday girls…trying to figure that one out is easier when staring at her catholic mom in lingerie for Jesus pics in Decemebrer’s Numero….she’s amazing.

Posted in:Adriana Lima

2013

30

Oct

Drunk Guy of the Day

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There’s nothing like waking up after a night of drinking not remembering what the fuck happened, only to log onto the internet to see video footage of you slamming your head through car windows, like that’s even a fucking thing, I mean I kinda prefer just checking my Facebook and text messages to see what girls and girlfriends of friends and family members I offended by trying to secure a bootycall, while this shit is just way more gangster…I guess he’s just a better, more creative drunk than me…I am just so obvious…it happens.

If you don’t like that…here’s a pro boxer who is paid to fight regulars on the street who usually lets them win, but decided instead to knock the fucker out…

Posted in:Videos

2013

30

Oct

Morning Hangover Dump of the Day

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People say no means yes, but I think that’s too risky, I prefer gurgling sounds…because they are a little more abstract..you know not so cut and dry…..

My least favorite thing for a hooker to say is “you’re dick’s not that small”…my most favorite thing to hear a hooker say is not so much her saying anything but more hearing her cry….it motivates me to mend those broken wings…because I am the “Not that small of a dick” superhero…who gives them their crack money.

Here are some stepLINKS…

30 Reasons Why Men Like Halloween
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The Madonna Nudes I Posted Last Week
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The Man Who Has the Crazy Moustache….
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Today in Jared Leto Music…
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17 Pics That Require You to Take Closer Look
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Mom’s Singing Baby and Baby Reacts
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Girls Who Forgot to Wear Pants..
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20 Famous Musicians Before they Made It…
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An Astronaut’s Guide to Life on Earth
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Tow Truck Fail
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Ain’t No Party Like a Girl Getting Naked Party…Let’s Party
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Posted in:stepLINKS