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2013

30

Jul

Kate Moss Spreading her Legs in Esquire UK of the Day

I would love to smell the room after this picture of Kate Moss spreading her legs was taken…I assume it smelled like a cross between heaven…and a polluted wasteland filled with death of all living creatures…you know thanks to her hard living, party living, liberal with her vagina living, that had sex with heroin addict rockstar living, without a condom because people in Hollywood and Entertainment and Fashion and really anywhere don’t use condoms, condoms are for sick people, plus AIDS isn’t a death sentence and herpes is actually beneficial because once you get it, you don’t have to worry about getting it anymore…obviously….and I want it smeared on my face, dripping off my face, it seems so luxurious, I mean why else would she be in Esquire…

Posted in:Kate Moss

2013

30

Jul

Sara Underwood on a Sex Swing for Twitter of the Day

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You may remember Sara Underwood from Playboy, or “dating” Ryan Seacrest, or that stint she had on TV for 3 minutes that probably won’t ever happen again, because lets face it, she’s a bitch who got naked at 18 to get famous…because other 18 year olds were too young to realize that’s the best time to get naked…you know worrying about going to school, and their boyfriends, and not making money in Hollywood via her tits…and she should probably stick to that…the whole talking shit kinda ruins what she’s really meant to do…because it makes me hate her.

Now I don’t know if this sex swing thing is her getting back to her roots, but I’ll still stare, even if she’s got a boring skinny ass…even when upside down…cuz I got nothing else to do…I mean other than Try to understand this camp gyno ad ….

Posted in:Sara Underwood

2013

30

Jul

Kate Upton’s Weird See Through of the Day

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Dumpy pig Kate Upton is not just the worst Swimsuit model to ever walk the earth with her really heavy step thanks to weighing 200 fucking pounds….but she’s also the worst at rockin’ see through tops.

I mean you’d think she’d know that her career is falling the fuck off, that people are catching onto her being a pile of shit who doesn’t deserve to be masturbated to, even if her tits are huge….and with that would say “hey, my tits are my key to success, why don’t I skip the bra when I wear this topless shit, flash some nipple and get the adoration of my fans back”….but I guess she realized it would be a liability, because without that bra, those loose hangers have a mid of their own and could either kill, or drown an innocent bystander in a fleshy tidal wave…or maybe, her nipple is big and hangs to the ground like most granny tits…granny tits that have more perk than Upton tit…do…

Whatever the reason, she’s let us down.

To see the rest of the pics CLICK HERE

Posted in:Kate Upton

2013

30

Jul

This Week in Page 3 of the Day

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Show NSFW Content

Here are some tits from the last week or so from PAGE 3. These tits are provided by Sam Cooke, Rosie Jones, Emily O’Hara, Kym Graham, Rhian Sugden…none of whom actually matter, if anything they just remind us that so many girls are willing to show their tits for exposure, and that Page 3 has no real discrepancy as to whether they have to be good looking or not, because if they are topless they’re faces just don’t matter….and if they are topless, they still don’t matter…just don’t tell the random girls looking on, we want them to think getting topless leads to a great life, it’s easier to get them topless that way..

Posted in:NSFW|Page 3

2013

30

Jul

Ieva Laguna For Victoria’s Secret of the Day

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Here’s some more VS Pink campaign pics, this time staring some girl named Ieva Laguna. I’ve never heard of her but I know that VS Pink is corporate strategy to target tweens into their spell, so everything she’s wearing is designed for a 14 year old, and this Ieva Laguna is supposed to represent a 14 year old, which probably turns at least one of you on…long gone are the days of 14 year olds in little kid underwear fearing the day they get their period LIKE THIS CAMP GYNO SHIT….and thanks to Christian friendly Victoria’s Secret, now 14 year olds can be sluts…

It’s a whole new world people…and I’m sure that turns you on.

Posted in:Ieva Laguna

2013

30

Jul

Miley Cyrus We Can’t Stop Director’s Cut of the Day

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We call this “milking it as hard as you fucking can”…use the outtakes, do a re-edit, get people excited all over again for a Disney rich bitch being slutty in a music video…like shit was in the Disney Executive’s office back when she was 14 and selling her soul to the devil…I unfortunately find it hot…but I guess it is cuz of the back story, the little body, the flawed personality…they trying hard….you know everything everyone hates about her, I masturbate to…

They are brainwashing us…

Posted in:Miley Cyrus

2013

30

Jul

Fuck You Sea World of the Day

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Are you fucking kidding me Sea World? I hate these animal themed parks, especially the marine mammal shit…dolphins and whales are my jam. So seeing asshole corporations mistreat them and make money off them almost makes me want to join the vegan lesbian tree huggers, and not just because of their rockin’ bushes and menstrual cups, but because I want to chain myself to the entrance gate telling motherfuckers to not pay money for this cruel fucking shit…

I am the kind of guy who celebrates when the bear attacks the trainer at the circus, even though I know the bear is going to get put to sleep, because…let’s face it, at least someone is standing up for his rights.

The fact that Sea World Orlando allowed a whale to beach itself and struggle to get back in the water, so hard his whale homies tried to pull through and help him,

Let animals back into the wild. This captivity shit…is the fucking worst..

And assholes reading this, stop going to these shows, they are lame anyway, save your money for strippers…it’s a real family excursion that exploits people with no souls, not animals who don’t have a choice but to be there…and they aren’t even getting paid a dollar a day….

I seriously want to protest this shit. Shut down Sea World.

Posted in:Videos

2013

30

Jul

Chrissy Teigen for Beachbunny Bride of the Day

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Sports Illustrated model, Chrissy Teigen who I may or may not think deserves to be in Sports Illustrated, because she’s gone the route of Kate Upton, and is a little fuckin thick…you know from all her food blog eating…but then I am reminded that Sports Illustrated likes their women doughy and untoned, because doughy and untoned comes with natural titties…and since I don’t really handle their casting, but I should, I’ll just stare at the bikinis, whether I am that into the bitch or not…

Well, she’s gone the route of Kate Upton, and other SI Models, and is now doing some spokesperson shit for some company that is probably owned by the wife of someone at SI..Beachbunny…and the fascinating thing is that she’s doing the bridal collection…because no real bikini company is trashy enough unless they have some white bikinis that are not just perfect for destination beach weddings at the shitty 3 star all inclusive…but that are made just for that purpose…just don’t get your period in them…

Now as much as I like naked bitches, Chrissy Teigen should just assume the role of rich wife to the rich music man who once modeled to land this life…sure she’s funny on the internet, like clown or comedian, and sure I like all girls in bikinis, even the fat ones, but there’s just something missing in her modeling…that something is what I call “wanting to lick her bikini so hard that it starts to melt off her, even though it is designed to last polluted salt water”….she just doesn’t do it for me…

Posted in:Chrissy Teigen

2013

30

Jul

Kelly Brook’s Vacation Bikini Action Continues of the Day

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Kelly Brook posted this video of her chunky body in a bikini in Greece on Vacation, because her life isn’t a fucking vacation, she works so hard standing around half naked 4 days a month people, that’s the kind of shit that can burn you out…you know those rough going to lunch meetings with your business managers and clearly not watching what you eat….you lazy fucking hooker….

I guess at 7 am, when all you idiots are getting up and ready for your day, this kind of “hey, I show my tits for a living, I’m in a bikini on a yacht” shit, is a real wake-up call, to get you to take your fucking shirt off, cuz if you’re girl you got tits too, why are you fucking failing…cuz you don’t want to upset your dad…you prude bitch…

That said, feel free to use me as a testing ground, cuz getting nudes, I’m talking to you random snapchat girl, is the highlight of my day, even if I only get 5 seconds to try to jerk off to them…snapchats….

Posted in:Kelly Brook

2013

30

Jul

Izabel Goulart is Awesome on Instagram of the Day

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Izabel Goulart is really good at Instagram…from her killer fucking bikini body…to her fitness…I think I may be in love…I think this is the Brazilian object of my desire, who I want to sing love songs to and romance into the next great American love story, one that movies will be based on…movies like “ASS RIMMING 19 – ENTER THE BRAZILIAN DRAGON”…not that I know if Brazil even has dragons, but you get what I’m saying, and that is that I’ve never felt a love like this before…that I cherish this love…and that I’ve learned to love again…because he’s fucking amazing…roses and rim jobs and marriage people…that’s all I see.

Posted in:Izabel Goulart