DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2013

16

Jul

Shailene Woodley in Interview Magazine of the Day

If girls who get fired from Spiderman and other virgin loser movies excite you, especially while doing some modelling bullshit for Interview magazine, who I assume will ask her how it feels to be fired from a movie and not what we really want to know, and that’s whether she has an INNY or OUTTY vagina…because mainstream media never gives me what I want, it never gives me the facts I need, it just blinds my judgement with retard puppets, and makes me want to eat Oreos and other heavily advertised treats…when all I really want to know is the size of Shailene Woodley’s labia…

Posted in:Shailene Woodley

2013

16

Jul

Chuck E. Cheese Brawl of the Day

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I don’t know why I blame Trayvon Martin and George Zimmerman for this…

And to think I was stupid enough to think Chuck E. Cheese was a fine dining experience where classy dignified people gather to discuss politics and world events over a game of lawn bowling…you know with culinary masterpieces crafted by the finest chefs, served on the most expensive of China…well it turns out it’s ghetto as fuck…

For some reason watching the parents of future criminals throw down gives me joy. I think I need to start donating sperm, and not by throwing it at random bitches, but through an agency to bring as many people in this world…a world that is clearly going to hell in one big greasy horrible mess.

Posted in:Videos

2013

16

Jul

Ellie Goulding Nipples in Fault Magazine of the Day

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Ellie Goulding is some UK popstar who everyone likes…and by everyone, I mean hipsters…they fucking go nuts for this bitch…but I don’t think I have ever really heard her or of her…but I have SEEN HER DUMPY IN A BIKINI TOP back in march, where I guess she was prepping becoming a bit of a sex object people masturbate to, cuz that’s really all girls want…it’s some genetic animal instinct shit that says “fuck my singing, I’ve already done that, let’s show off my ass hanging out of shorts, my tits in a bikini top, and in a few months my nipples in a magazine, only will play it off like it’s some high concept nipple showing, and not me being a slut, cuz parents who buy albums for their kids, don’t like sluts, but nipple for fashion, that shit is art”….did you like my Ellie Goulding impression? I did too, it got me hard…but that could be cuz it is morning and my penis is surprising me with the last fumes of testosterone I have left, or maybe it’s cuz I’ve seen her nipples for fashion…

Posted in:Ellie Goulding

2013

16

Jul

Behati Prinsloo for Esprit Body of the Day

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Behati Prinsloo has had sex, probably unprotected sex, because people don’t use condoms, especially not white people, which pretty much means she’s dead, at least to me, but not dead enough to still get half naked and model in her underwear, because I guess she’s not dead in body, but only dead in spirit and in vagina, that I will likely never get the opportunity to fist in anger, trying to punch out the Adam Levine cooties, before going down on her for 3-8 months…without taking a break for air….

Posted in:Behati Prinsloo

2013

16

Jul

Amazing Coach of the Day

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I am not posting this video because it is erotic, if you can masturbate to it, and I know at least one of you can, and probably has, you’re officially a fucking werido, but I still accept you, I just won’t invite you over for tea.

I am not posting this video because it is gruesome or violent or really worth watching.

I am posting this video, because seeing the coach throw his glasses like a girl before throwing down, for some reason, is really fucking funny to me…

Posted in:Videos

2013

16

Jul

Christina Milian in Her Bikini for Twitter of the Day

1 Comment »

Christina Milian doesn’t really grasp the whole being a mom means stop trying to be a video vixen, half naked whore, tweaking at every pool party she is invited to, and even when she’s not at a pool party, she’s out there in her bikini snapping pics of herself in the bikini, because after being divorced and failing at relationship, it is nice to have some male attention to feel like you still got it, and if you’ve got the budget to hire a replacement mom to watch your kid, while you’re taking booty pics, why the fuck wouldn’t you…

This is like the rich person version of that MEME that circulated years ago of a woman doing a masturbation selfie with her kid in the background playing…only more luxurious with all the rich person amenities…to make it less weird to masturbate to…

Posted in:Christina Milian

2013

16

Jul

Vanessa Hudgens Doesn’t Wear Period Friendly Clothing of the Day

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I saw this scene in a movie once, or maybe it was in my masturbation fantasies from High School, when the one day a girl wore her white outfit to school, she got her first period, humiliated in front of everyone, forever being called “Bloody Betty” or whatever the fuck kids call the chubby girl in the white pants bleeding from her vagina…you know leading to years of torment, therapy, Post Traumatic Stress, a weird hate for her period because every time she got it it reminded her of that horrible day, leading to her becoming a lesbian and/or on hormone therapy to never have a period again…

All this to say, Vanessa Hudgens looks weird, I prefer her taking selfies naked and hairy….than this business casual weirdness.

To see the rest of the pics FOLLOW THiS LINK

Posted in:Vanessa Hudgens

2013

16

Jul

Miley Cyrus Reunited With Her Mom of the Day

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I love these episodes of Jerry Springer where they re-unite hicks with their dead beat parents. It is some feel good country music loving shit…straight from the inbred part of America…full of broken english, but not full of full mouths of teeth…

Posted in:Miley Cyrus

2013

16

Jul

Paula Labaredas’ Cosplay Princess Leia Video Weirdness of the Day

2 Comments »

I am not a fan of this nobody Paula Labaredas and it isn’t because she endorses all blogs that write about her, but tells me off for calling her out for being a worthless cunt, which in the event you haven’t watched the video she produced and posted to her youtube 5 days ago, that has 209 views, thanks to her low level celebrity, that I think the kid who works at Starbucks has more followers than her on his youtube channel, and he’s not e ben trying, he just makes a mean latte, while this Paula bitch is just another low level who thinks she’s hotter than she is and she’s looking for fame the bottom feeding way..by targeting the comic book virgin losers…horrible…

To prove my point here she is as Catwoman…also posted 5 days ago with a staggering 221 views…what a fucking joke..

Oh shit…she posted another one 5 days ago, this time as Street Fighter….and it has 151 views…Cosplay isn’t working out so hot for this twat…which is weird since it works for everyone..